Delicate
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: James and Kendall form a friendship that they're both desperate to keep. Afraid of damaging their delicate newfound companionship, each is hesitant to make a move, even if they both feel the pull of attraction between them. Will they be able to take a chance and let their friendship grow into something more?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! So, yeah... I know what you're thinking. "Really? ANOTHER story?!" :P**

 **This story is a little... different. I'll explain more at the end. But for now, I hope you all enjoy!**

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"Hey, Kendall." A voice said from beside me.

I turned on my stool and rolled my eyes. "Oh, hell no." I said, then turned back around and took a sip of my margarita.

I heard the guy sigh and say, "So what? I'm not even allowed to say 'hi' to you?"

"Nope." I said without looking at him.

He sighed again. "Seriously? He's moved on. He got married for fuck's sake."

I eyed the guy as discreetly as possible, then took another sip of my margarita. The guy was hot as fuck, there was no denying that. It just so happened that he was also the douchey ex of my friend, so I didn't want anything to do with him. Even if those toned arms, soft looking brown hair, and those gorgeous hazel eyes that always sparkled mischievously were like a beacon calling me. I couldn't act on it. No. Freaking. Way.

"You know," James the douche said. "It's not like I was trying to pick you up. I just saw you sitting here, so I thought I'd say hi. You don't have to be a douche about it."

I choked on the sip I was trying to swallow as I laughed at that. When I got my coughing under control, I laughed out, "You think _I'm_ the douche?"

He lifted a brow and leaned against the bar as he glanced at me. "You're the one that's acting like you're better than me, so yeah, I do."

"I am not acting like I'm better than you." I turned to face him. "I'm acting like you're the guy that broke my friend's heart."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, but didn't deny it. Actually, the longer I examined him, the more upset he looked. For some reason, seeing big bad James looking upset made me let down my defenses a little and I found myself asking, "Hey, you okay?"

He looked at me and shot me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I didn't believe that for a second, but I didn't know him well enough to call him out on it. I did, however, know just how to cheer someone up, so I drained my drink and took the beer out of his hand, placing it on the bar. Then I grabbed his hand, stood up and started pulling him with me as I said over my shoulder, "Come dance with me."

"Really?" He looked doubtful, not that I could blame him after the way I'd treated him a minute ago.

"Yes, silly. Dance with me for a bit, then you can find someone to fuck, or whatever it is you're doing here." I stopped on the dance floor and faced him.

He lifted a brow again, but let me use his arm to twirl around. I started doing goofy dance moves and before I knew it, he was chuckling at me. _Point, me._

The dance floor started filling up, and unfortunately, I could no longer spin away from him because there wasn't enough room. I pouted for a second, then thought, _fuck it_ , and threw my arms around James' neck with a big smile on my face. He looked surprised at first, but then smiled softly at me and put his hands on my hips.

Facing him this closely, I could smell his spicy cologne, and I indulged myself for just a moment by taking a deep breath. Once my lungs were filled, I snapped my eyes up to James' and mentally cringed. He was smirking, just a little, so I was pretty damn sure he knew I'd just smelled him. Since I couldn't deny it, I just shrugged a shoulder at him, which made him chuckle again. _Two points, me._

James suddenly leaned forward, and for a second, I was afraid he was going to kiss me. But then he bent down farther and stuck his nose close to my neck so I could hear him take a deep breath before he whispered into my ear, "You smell good too."

I smacked his shoulder and couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of me. "Shut up." I said, still laughing. He leaned back and smiled at me with amusement. _Point, James._ I had to give him that one. _Smartass._

We danced for two more songs, not grinding or anything, as much I'd wanted to, but still having fun. More and more people crowded the dance floor, and I started getting really thirsty from all the dancing and body heat. When James nodded his head toward the bar, I figured he had the same idea, so I nodded and followed him over. He got us each a water bottle, which I drank eagerly, then James looked at me with his head tilted.

I eyed him for a moment before finally saying, "What?"

"Would you like to go grab something to eat? I didn't eat dinner before I came."

I looked around the room at all the people in the crowded bar. I'd only come out tonight because I'd been bored, so I didn't care too much if I left the place. Turning back to James, I stared at his hazel eyes for a moment. Was it weird to go out to eat with my friend slash boss's ex? I mean, they broke up a while ago and Dak was already married to someone else. I must've taken too long to answer because James sighed, ran a hand through his hair and said, "Forget it."

"No." I grabbed his forearm. "I was just thinking about it. Yes, let's go get something to eat."

"You sure?"

"Yes." I said, then suddenly realized I was still holding his arm and let go. He shot me a little smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, and I was instantly a little saddened that my hesitation made his happiness slip away. I sighed at myself, then downed the rest of my water, set the bottle on top of the bar and grabbed his hand again. "Alright, come on new best friend, let's get you some food."

"New best friend?" He asked, some amusement back in his voice.

I looked over my shoulder at him and said, "I'm pretty sure that neither of us has one, so." I shrugged. "I figured you could be mine...at least for tonight."

"How do you know I don't have one?" He asked as he let me pull him out of the club.

"Uh… you're here by yourself."

"So are you."

"My point exactly." I stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. "Where do you want to eat?"

"Um...do you want to walk or drive?"

I had no clue how much he'd had to drink tonight, and while I felt like I'd danced off my margaritas from earlier, I didn't really want to drive. "Let's walk. Do you like that little pizza shop down the street or would you rather walk a couple blocks over to a nicer place?"

"I could go for some pizza, if that's okay with you?"

"Perfect." I agreed, dragging him down the street again. "What kind of pizza do you like? I like plain or barbeque chicken or buffalo chicken pizza. Mmm. Those are delicious. I wonder if this place has good buffalo chicken. You want to share a pizza or something?" When I looked over at him, I noticed his eyebrows were raised. "What?"

"Nothing." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he shrugged, then said, "I like buffalo chicken if you want that kind."

I rolled my eyes and led him into the pizza shop. When we were in line, I let go of his hand, even though it had been nice holding it. I mentally chastised myself for the thought, then asked him what else he wanted to get. Once we placed our order, we sat down at a table to wait for it.

It was weird being in the relatively quiet pizza shop. It was still noisy, but compared to the loud-ass club, it was almost too quiet.

James cleared his throat. "I'm surprised you didn't have a wedding to photograph tonight."

"I got the night off because there was only one wedding and Jett went as Dak's assistant." I cringed when I realized what I said, or rather, _who_ I'd said it about.

"You can talk about Dak and Jett, Kendall. It's not like I don't know they're married. I was at their wedding, you know." He said softly.

I blew out a breath and gave him a nod. "Okay, yeah. So Jett is probably coming to work at the shop, so I'm not sure if I'll be doing as many weddings."

He tilted his head. "Is that going to mess with you financially?"

I lifted my hands in a defeated gesture. "I don't really have a say in that."

"Of course you do. Why don't you just talk to Dak about it?"

"I will. I just haven't gotten around to it. This is the first time it's happened, so I don't even know if it'll be an issue."

"Still…" He offered a sympathetic nod, then just said, "So…" and trailed off.

"So…" I trailed off too before looking around, at a loss of what to say. Then I looked at him and asked with a big smile, "Come here often?"

He snorted out a laugh- _point me_ -and shook his head. "No, usually when I go to the club I take my guy home to fuck, not out to eat."

I rolled my eyes at that, then fluttered my eyelashes at him and asked in a mock-voice, "So that makes me your guy tonight?"

He stared at me with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

"Dude, seriously? I'm just messing with you. Did I not make my stance on you clear enough earlier?" I chuckled before leaning forward a little, looking into his pretty hazel eyes. "Not. Gonna. Happen."

He blinked a few times, then said, "You know, you're kind of an asshole."

I snorted at that. "Takes one to know one."

He shrugged. "True."

We both chuckled a little, and thank God, the girl behind the counter called our order number, so he got up to go get it. If my eyes locked onto his ass while he walked away, well, you couldn't really blame a guy, could you?

When he came back, we both dug in and were quiet for a few minutes while we ate. After I ate a whole slice of pizza, I asked, "Are you going to that party at Carlos' place tomorrow?"

He swallowed a bite-and no, I didn't stare at his Adam's apple-then wiped his mouth. "I was invited, but I don't know if I wanna go."

"Why not? I think they're cooking on the grill." I grabbed another slice. This pizza place looked like a hole-in-the-wall, but damn did they have good pizza.

"I don't know...it's weird." He shrugged and set his crust down before grabbing another slice.

"Because of Dak?"

He shrugged one shoulder.

"You know he'd want you to come."

"Yeah, but…" He trailed off.

"Oh come on. You gotta come since your best friend will be there." I said with a ridiculous smile.

"I see Logan every day at work." He said, then took another bite.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I was talking about _me_ , you asshat. Your new and improved best friend."

He laughed softly and held up a hand. "Sorry, I forgot. I'm not used to having a best friend."

I fought back a smile at that and continued to glare. "I'll forgive you this once, but...next time you'll face the consequences."

He laughed a little louder- _point, me_ \- and asked, "And what might they be?"

I chewed the inside of my cheek as I thought about that. "For the next offense, you'll have to take me to a movie. But the one after that will be a movie _and_ dinner."

"Hmm...you're going to punish me by making me spend more time with you? You're so evil." He said with that little smirk of his.

"Well, I still have the power to add to your punishment. Maybe I'll make you buy me jewelry or something."

"Oh wow, you're truly the devil."

I laughed. "Shut up."

Between the two of us, we finished off the entire pizza, and when it was gone, I asked, "Do you want to go get ice cream or something?"

His eyebrows flew up into his hairline again-apparently, I constantly surprised him-and he said, "You seriously want to eat more? How are you so small?"

"I am not small." I argued, and maybe pouted just a little.

"Uh, yeah, you are. I could probably throw you over my shoulder and carry you around for hours without breaking a sweat." He chuckled.

"I'd like to see you try."

"Is that a challenge?"

I glared at him and slowly said, "No."

He tilted his head. "You know I could do it, don't you?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and didn't respond, which made him laugh again. Okay, maybe he got another point. Maybe. A maybe point. _Point, James._ Ugh. He could have it.

He sobered a little and asked, "Where do you want to go for ice cream?"

I sighed. "The Frozen Spoon is too far away, but that's my favorite place. Do you know if there's anything good around here?"

"Let's just grab a cab or Uber to The Frozen Spoon, then we can get one back to our cars afterward." He stood up.

"Really?"

He shrugged one shoulder. "Sure." He shot me a sweet smile. "I want to take my new best friend to his favorite place."

 _Okay, definite point, James. Definite._

I nodded. "Sounds good to me." I stood up and followed him out of the shop. "I could just drive, I'm sober."

"I only had that half a beer before you took it from me, so I can drive if you're comfortable." He bumped my shoulder as we walked down the sidewalk.

I bumped his back. "That's fine if you're okay with bringing me back to my car afterward."

"No problem." He said, giving me another shoulder-bump.

The drive to The Frozen Spoon was a little awkward, but not too bad. We listened to the radio, and luckily, we weren't super far from the ice cream shop. When we walked into the shop, I asked, "What kind are you going to get?"

"Probably vanilla with hot fudge."

"What?!" I asked a little too loudly, drawing attention from a few other customers. I lowered my voice. "Dude, that's so boring. Live a little."

He frowned at me. "But I like vanilla and hot fudge."

"Ugh...you're killing me."

"Okay, what are you getting then?"

"I'm gonna get Old Bay Caramel and get some sprinkles on it, the rainbow ones." I pointed to the weirdest flavor I could find.

"That seriously sounds disgusting." He wrinkled his nose and I sorta thought it was adorable, not that I'd ever tell him...or anyone...

"Eh." I lifted a shoulder. "May as well live a little, ya know?"

"Have you ever even tried that kind?"

"Nope."

"And you honestly think it sounds good?"

I thought about that, about how spicy Old Bay was, and how it didn't seem like it could remotely taste good with ice cream and I shrugged. "Well, no, not really."

"Then why the hell would you get it?"

"I like to try new things. Sometimes they surprise you."

He eyed me for a moment, then looked at the ice cream flavors again. When it was his turn to order, my eyebrows lifted when he said, "Can I have two scoops of the peanut butter pretzel ice cream with hot fudge and rainbow sprinkles, please?" When he glanced over at me, he smirked and put his finger on my chin, pushing my open mouth closed. Then he winked and said, "You're right, sometimes new things surprise you." Then he turned around and moved down the line to pay.

I watched him for a moment before shaking head and moving up to order. What he'd ordered sounded way better than my idea, but I had to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak. So I ordered it, with rainbow sprinkles, because yum, then collected my ice cream cup and followed James to an open table.

When I took a bite of my treat, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't horrible. It wasn't great, but it was pretty good. Better than I thought it would be.

James ate a bite of his and said, "Mmm...this is really good. Wanna try it?" He gestured to his cup, so I lifted a shoulder, then scooped a bite of his onto my spoon and ate it. I couldn't help the little moan that escaped my mouth. When James asked, "Mine's better, isn't it?" I realized I'd shut my eyes, and popped them open to glare at him. He chuckled and said, "Let me try yours."

"Go ahead." I gestured to mine.

He scooped some with his spoon and ate it, wrinkling his nose the entire time. After swallowing, he said, "Mine's definitely better."

I sighed and decided to admit defeat. "Okay, you're right. You're the winner of the ice cream challenge."

He chuckled. "You don't have to sound so dreary about it. I got two scoops so we can share."

I stared at him in shock for a minute, then scooped another bite of his ice cream and said, "Thanks. You can have more of mine, too."

"Yeah… I don't think so."

I grinned at that and stole another bite of his.

We hung out for another hour at The Frozen Spoon before he drove me back to my car. When he parked beside my car, I turned to him and said, "Thanks for a great night, new best friend. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

He rolled his eyes, but smiled. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow at the party."

I felt awkward for a minute, not knowing what to do. Should I hug him, give him a kiss on the cheek, fist-bump? I ended up settling for a weird wave that made him laugh at me, then I jumped out of his car and into mine.

He didn't drive away until after I started my car and put it in drive. It was sweet that he'd waited to make sure I could get home okay.

When I laid down in bed later on, I reminded myself that tonight had _not_ been a date. Not at all.

Though, if it had been… it would've been the best damn date I'd had in a really long time. I sighed at that completely pathetic thought and tried to push James Diamond out of my mind.

If his sweet, smiling, hazel eyes were the last thing I pictured before falling asleep, well, that wasn't my fault.

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 **Done! So, this is actually a story that I started for another site that kind of turned into a BTR fic. But I wanted to post this first chapter to get your initial thoughts on it. Since this was intended for another site, there are a few OC's in this story, but Kendall and James are definitely the main focus of it.**

 **With that being said, I'd love to hear your thoughts so far and if you would like to see more! If so, it may be a little while between updates for a while since I'm focusing on finishing Nice To Know You and Sad Beautiful Tragic right now, but updates will be posted if you all want more. :)**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with the second chapter of Delicate!**

 **Before we get started, a huge thank you goes out to everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a special thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, Guest, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

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After my workout in the apartment complex's gym this morning, I went through my normal routine of running into my neighbor's cat sitting on the steps inside the building. And just like I usually did, I picked the little guy up and returned him to my little old neighbor, Mrs. Henderson. The cat escaped the apartment several times a week, so it wasn't unusual for me or one of my other neighbors to return him to her.

So I wasn't really sure why I'd found myself contemplating things and changing up my usual routine before this stupid party I had to go to. I didn't typically go out on Sundays, unless it was to run errands, but for some reason, I found myself standing outside The Chipped Mug, a local coffee shop where I happened to know the owner and several employees. I'd driven past it a million times, always debating going in to talk to this guy-Matthew-that worked there.

After hanging out with Kendall Knight, of all people, I kept thinking about how reluctant he'd been to even talk to me, all because of my ex Dak. Unfortunately, that was a pretty expected reaction I'd been getting from everyone that knew Dak.

But after that disastrous New Year's party at Dak's house last month, the reactions were getting worse. I'd run into Matthew at the party and when he'd realized I was _Dak's James_ , as everyone now called me, he freaked out. In front of everyone.

So now, not only was I James the breaker of Dak's heart, I was James the breaker of Matthew's soul. But no one knew what'd really happened between Matthew and me. And no one was going to find out because I wasn't a complete asshole that liked to spread rumours. Sure, they'd all assumed that Matthew and I had hooked up, and they'd be right. But they didn't know what else had happened. They didn't know that I wasn't the bad guy here.

And now, despite everything, I sorta wanted to go check on Matthew to make sure he was okay. I probably should've done it weeks ago, but he'd made his opinion of me pretty clear when he'd run away from me. Still, I needed to know that he was okay. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I guess because the last time he and I had been alone, he hadn't been in very good shape. And now I had the daily reminder of him in the form of liquid heaven, because Carlos, my friend and co-worker, bought me a coffee every damn morning. From the place Matthew worked. Every time I saw the stupid logo on the cup, it made me think of him, now that I knew he worked there.

I walked inside and took a deep breath when I saw Matthew behind the counter. He hadn't seen me yet, so I could still escape. I stood there, contemplating my options. It'd been over a month since I'd last talked to him at the New Year's party and it'd been such a disaster that I'd stayed far away from him at Dak's wedding, and he'd seemed perfectly content with that option. In fact, he had run from me like his ass was on fire, and I had no idea why. Before that night, I'd thought that we were maybe on our way to becoming friends...or at least something close to it.

But as soon as he realized who I was, or rather who my ex fuck buddy-or whatever you wanted to call it-was, he'd run like a bat outta hell. Because of course he did. That was pretty much the response I got from anyone that knew Dak. Not that Dak was trying to turn people against me or anything, I knew he'd never do that. In fact, he had tried to set the record straight multiple times. But I guess my reputation was lacking in the friendship department.

Everyone judged me for ending things with Dak when Dak wanted to get more serious. But that hadn't been what I'd signed up for. Dak and I had been friends with benefits, it wasn't my fault he'd wanted more when he knew I hadn't. But in everyone's eyes, I was the bad guy, even though Dak had known what he was getting into. And now everyone assumed I'd done the same thing to Matthew. They couldn't even give me the benefit of the doubt.

But I couldn't stop thinking about Matthew's shocked and worried face when he'd seen me, nor could I forget how every single person at that party had looked at me. They'd thought I was some kind of monster, but not a single one of them knew what had happened between Matthew and me. Not that I wanted them to know, but it would've been nice if they hadn't jumped to the conclusion that it was _me_ that did something wrong to Matthew.

I shouldn't have been surprised that not a single person in there believed I was anything but the asshole everyone saw me as. As if I couldn't possibly have done anything other than hurt _another_ guy. It was like my relationship, or lack thereof, with Dak had been broadcasted over the whole damn city and now it was the only thing people saw when they looked at me.

James, the asshole that hurt Dak. And that was it. No one cared about my side of the story, whether it was in regards to Dak or Matthew. No one ever asked _me_ if I was okay, or if the other guy had hurt me, because apparently, I was just that asshole. Nothing more, nothing less. _The asshole who hurts guys left and right. That's me._

 _Fuck. Why did I come here today? This isn't going to solve anything._

Right as I was about to make a hasty retreat, Matthew looked up and caught my eye. He looked surprised for a few seconds, but then he smiled at me a little and held up his finger, asking me to wait a minute. I nodded at him and blew out a breath. I guess he wanted to talk to me, too. After Matthew said something to who I assumed was his boss, he made his way over to me.

"Hey." He said in that almost too soft voice of his while balancing two coffee cups.

"Hey." I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Do you want to sit down and talk?"

He nodded and led the way to a table in the corner. Once I sat down, he set a cup in front of me and I nodded my thanks before grabbing it so I had something to do with my hands. I didn't really know what to say or where to start, so I chewed on my bottom lip, staring at my cup and contemplating. _Because that's helped me so much today already, ugh._

It was weird that I hadn't known he worked at this place until that stupid party. But it wasn't like I frequented this coffee shop very often, and apparently, Matthew had been on the late shift most weekends for over a year. On the few occasions I'd come here, it was in the morning before work. I loved coffee, but one cup in the morning was good enough for me.

After a really fucking awkward and uncomfortable minute passed, Matthew was the first to speak. "I'm sorry."

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "What for?"

He blew out a breath and leaned forward so his hair was partially covering his face, though I could still see him flicking his lip ring back and forth, that lip rig that I used to like to suck on. His elbows were on the table and he was playing with the long sleeves of his shirt.

"I shouldn't have run like that." He shrugged. "Either time… at Dak's or from your apartment." He cringed, then sighed quietly. "Okay, so more than just the two times…" Every time he'd spent the night, he'd slipped out in the middle of the night, so I could only guess that's what he was talking about.

"That's...you don't need to apologize, Matthew, I-"

"Matty." He cut me off. "You should call me Matty. I should've told you that before. Especially after everything."

I stared at him for a few seconds before responding. "Matty. I didn't come here today for an apology, I came to see if you were okay."

He looked at me through his hair and smiled a little sadly. "Yeah, I'm okay. And I do owe you an apology. First, for how I acted at Dak's. I'm sorry I ran from you. I sorta panicked. The holidays aren't a good time for me, so I was still having a rough time dealing." His voice was quiet. He was always so quiet, but _sometimes_ -like now, apparently-he had a lot to say, if only someone would listen. "And last time, after what you did for me, I shouldn't have snuck out on you like that. I owe you for what you did and I-"

"No, you don't owe me anything."

He shot me that sad smile again. "James, if you hadn't been there to get that guy off me, I would've wound up in the hospital, or worse. I just...thank you for seeing that something was wrong and following me into the bathroom. There were a million other people there and you're the only one that paid attention. The only one that helped." He had such a quiet, soft voice, but we were close enough for me to hear him. I was just glad he was talking because sometimes he shut down.

"I was in the right place at the right time, that's all."

He let out a small laugh and shook his head. "Will you please just accept my gratitude and the compliment?" I shrugged one shoulder and tilted my head in response before he said, "Thanks for not telling anyone, even when they were all acting like asses after Dak's party. You could've cleared your name if you'd just told them."

"I wouldn't do that to you. It's none of their business."

He smiled a little. "I know."

"Are you...are you okay now?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm good. I figured out my shit, for the most part."

A half-smile tugged at my lips. "That's good, Matty. I'm glad you're doing okay."

"What about you? Are you doing okay?"

I took a deep breath and repeated what he'd said. "For the most part."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"I haven't seen you at the club in a while."

I ran a hand through my hair. "I haven't really been feeling it lately."

He eyed me for a moment before saying, "So this...you coming here, isn't you looking for a hookup?"

A surprised laugh bubbled out of me. "No, I swear."

He examined my face for a few seconds, then smiled a little. "Okay, big guy, I get it. No more repeats."

"It's not that, it's just…" I trailed off, because, honestly, I didn't even know what it was. I just didn't feel like doing this whole hookup thing with anyone, really. It was like I was just over it.

"I can't say I blame you after I snuck out of your place every single time."

I shook my head at him and smiled. "You know, most people think you're this really shy, sweet guy."

"Are you saying I'm not sweet?"

I huffed out a laugh. "No, you're just not as shy as everyone thinks you are." He definitely wasn't shy, just soft-spoken and sometimes he hung back, taking everything in. Or at least, that was what it seemed like to me.

He shrugged. "You know me better than most people. Plus, this place is like my home away from home." He waved at our surroundings. "I'm comfortable here."

I'd heard that he'd been working here for a couple of years. And it made me a little sad to think that I knew him better than most people, because I hardly knew him at all. Sure, we'd hooked up a few times, but that was all it ever really was, a hookup. And then there was the time I'd helped him, but really, it wasn't like he'd been very talkative after that...incident.

I took a sip of my coffee to hide my expression, and he looked around the room before focusing on me and saying, "I need to get back to work. But I'm really glad you stopped by. And I'm sorry...for everything. I keep telling everyone that you didn't do anything wrong, but I don't think it's helping and I really don't want to get into the whole thing with-"

"Hey, it's okay. Like I said, it's no one's business."

He smiled, then stood up, making me follow suit. We gave each other a hug that wasn't as awkward as I'd thought it'd be, then we said our goodbyes. He went back behind the counter, and when I left the coffee shop, I looked over my shoulder seeing him send a little wave. After I waved back, I went straight for my car and made my way to Carlos' house.

On the drive there, I realized that I felt like I could really breath again. Seeing Matty and having that talk with him had been exactly what I'd needed. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was beyond happy that he seemed to be doing okay, and besides that, it seemed like there was at least one person besides Carlos and Logan that liked me, even if I knew we would probably never be close friends, at least we could be cordial.

I knew that everyone else would still look at me the same way, like I was the asshole. But at least I knew that Matty didn't feel that way. And after last night, it seemed that Kendall didn't, either. Thinking about how ridiculous he'd been all night made me smile the whole way to the house.

When I was walking up the sidewalk of Carlos' house, I smiled a little at the thought of Kendall being there. Last night, I'd been so bored and...lonely, I guess. So I'd gone to the same bar I always go to. When I'd seen Kendall sitting at the bar, I almost walked the other way, but then I'd noticed that he was by himself, looking a little sad, so I thought, _What the hell? I'll go see if he wants to talk_. I hadn't expected to spend all night with him. And I absolutely hadn't expected to have so much fun just hanging out.

It was nice not having the pressure of hooking up floating over me for once. Lately, I'd just been bored...of pretty much everything. And I didn't think anyone could ever accuse Kendall of being boring. He probably couldn't be boring if he tried.

I took a deep breath before knocking on the door, and a minute later, Carlos opened up. He smiled at me and wrapped me in a hug. "You came! I'm so happy you're here!"

I patted his back, then gently pulled him off me. "Hey, 'Los." I said, using the childhood nickname he claimed to hate. Carlos was married to Logan, who'd been my best friend since we were kids. Carlos and Logan had two kids of their own now, so I didn't often hang out with them outside of work. Logan and I weren't even doing our bowling league anymore, and we'd done that for years. They were always busy, but they always invited me to their family get-togethers like the one today.

"James!" I heard a feminine voice yell from down the hall as I shut the front door.

I turned and smiled. "Hey, Mrs. Garcia. Thanks for having me." If I thought Carlos was crazy with hugs, his mom was about twenty times worse.

"Oh, you know you're welcome here anytime, sweetheart." She quickly made her way over to me and pulled me into a hug, so I gently hugged her back. "Now, where the fuck have you been, young man?" She asked as she pulled away and looked at me.

I cleared my throat, but didn't know what to say. I didn't exactly want to tell her I'd been avoiding people, and I didn't want to lie to her.

Luckily, Logan came to my rescue by storming into the hallway and pulling me into a hug and saying, "Hey, man."

"Hey." I said as I returned the hug.

"We're about to head out back. Wanna come? There's beers out there." Logan said.

I looked at Mrs. Garcia and she gave me a stern look before shooing me away, so I followed Logan to the backyard where he pointed out the large cooler. I made my way over to grab a beer and as I reached into the cooler, a voice said, "Fancy seeing you here."

I grinned and looked over at Kendall. "Hey."

I held up a beer to him, and he held his hands up and said, "I don't do beer if I don't have to. I'm waiting for someone to finish making some drink Carlos' mother made up or something along those lines."

"Oh, you're chancing one of Mrs. Garcia's specialty drinks? Good luck with that." I closed the cooler. Dak and Carlos' families were close friends, which made coming here even weirder and one of the reasons I'd been avoiding it, even though Dak had made it a point to come and invite me as well.

"I'm sure it'll taste better than that shit." Kendall said, nodding at my beer.

"This shit is good." I twisted off the cap and took a swig.

Kendall grinned at me, and I took a moment to admire him. He was shorter than me, but only by a couple inches, he had blond hair that was styled, but currently slightly messy, and these green eyes that looked innocent, even though I knew he was anything but. He was wearing a green T-shirt and jeans that were so tight, I was sure they outlined his ass effortlessly. He had boots on again, although I was pretty sure they were different than the ones he'd had on last night.

"I wasn't sure if you'd really show up." He said, then looked off to the side.

"I told you I would." I reminded him.

He shot me a little smile. "I'm glad you did. I've been sitting at the table over there," He pointed to the left of us. "by myself for half an hour."

"Why aren't you hanging out with Dak?"

He shrugged. "He's been mingling." He looked out at the yard again, then back at me and smiled. "But now my new best friend is here, so I'm saved."

I chuckled. "Yep, I'm a regular knight in shining armor."

He laughed, which made me smile at him, then he asked, "Wanna sit down with me? I was at a shoot all morning, so my feet are killing me."

"You didn't tell me you had to work today." I said as I followed him to a table.

"Yeah, well, I was pretending that I didn't." We both sat as he continued, "It was only an engagement shoot, so it wasn't completely awful. I just wore new shoes, which was a terrible idea." Before I could comment on his apparent shoe addiction, he pointed at the outdoor bar the Garcia's had and said, "Oh look, Mr. Garcia's finished with the drink. I'll be right back." He jumped to his feet, then looked at me and pointed. "You better not run away because I _will_ find you."

I laughed. "I'll be here." He glared at me, so I added, "I promise." He continued his glare for a few seconds before smiling and practically running off to the bar. I watched as he chatted away with Mr. Garcia and before I knew it, he was heading back over toward me. When he sat down, I asked, "How's the drink?"

"Delicious. Want some?" He held the cup and straw in my direction.

"No, thanks, I'm good."

"Suit yourself." He took another sip before continuing. "Did you eat yet? I've only been snacking on the chips and stuff."

I stared at him with wide eyes and shook my head a little. "You never get full, do you?"

He shrugged. "On occasion. So how 'bout it? Wanna run inside and get a plate?"

I looked around to make sure other people were eating before nodding. "Sure."

He grinned and jumped up. "Leave your beer so you have two hands."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, and even though I listened and set my beer down before following him, I just had to ask. "How much food are you planning on getting?"

"As much as I can carry."

"I'm pretty sure I'll only need one hand for mine, so I can help carry your overflow."

He eyed me as we walked into the dining room where the buffet was set up. "I might have to take you up on that." I grinned at him.

I filled my plate up and ended up carrying it, along with a little bowl of salad for Kendall, back to our table, and we settled in to eat. As I was eating my sandwich, I kept glancing at Kendall, and when I finally noticed how he was eating, I asked amusedly, "What are you doing?"

He smirked at me and help up a chicken tender, then peeled a small piece of it off, popping it in his mouth. "Eating my chicken like string cheese."

I let out a loud laugh at that and through my laughing, I asked, "Why the hell are you eating it like that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, but it's good. You should give it a try."

"I don't think I can eat my roast beef sandwich like string cheese." I chuckled.

"Do you want a chicken tender to try it out?"

"No thanks." I was still chuckling at his ridiculousness.

"Suit yourself, BFF." He shrugged again before going back to his weird-ass eating habits.

"You know, I'm pretty sure the chicken tenders were for the kids."

He swallowed his bite and stuck his tongue out at me. "Well, too bad. I like chicken tenders."

"I can see that."

He rolled his eyes, then slowly peeled a piece of chicken off while maintaining eye contact. And without looking away, he slowly lowered the string of chicken into his mouth, then groaned like it was the best thing he'd ever eaten.

"You're ridiculous." I said as he started the process all over again, still keeping his eyes fixed on me. I pretended not to notice how appealing he looked, even doing something so absurd, or rather, I pretended that my dick hadn't taken notice.

He flashed me a mischievous smile. "Nope, I'm just fun."

I snorted, but didn't argue since it was true. He was fun. I hadn't had real fun with anyone in a long-ass time. In fact, I'd probably had more fun in the last twenty hours, or whatever it had been, with him than I'd had in the last year combined. When I didn't respond right away, Kendall's smile grew before he popped another string-chicken in his mouth, which made me chuckle and shake my head.

We were quiet for a few minutes while we both stuffed our faces. I got up to grab another beer, then noticed that Kendall's glass was empty, so I ran over to the bar to get him another from Mr. Garcia. When I set the new glass in front of him, he looked up at me with wide, surprised eyes, then smiled softly and muttered, "Thank you."

I shrugged it off and resumed my seat across from him. I watched in amusement as he finished off every single thing on his plate, and in the bowl, before he looked at he and asked, "What?"

I shook my head. "I seriously didn't think you'd be able to eat all of that."

"Dude, I'm going back for seconds."

"No way."

He snorted out a laugh. "No. Well...not right now, anyway. I'll probably go back in, like, an hour."

"Did you miss breakfast or something?"

"No. I ate some cereal and fruit before I left for that shoot, then I grabbed a sandwich before I headed over here."

I chuckled. I seriously had no idea how he was so lean if he ate like this all the time. Maybe I just caught him on a...hungry day. He shot me a grin, then took a big gulp of his drink. When he looked behind me, his eyes dimmed a little and his smile fell from his face. I looked back and saw Dak walking in our direction. I turned back to Kendall and tilted my head as I examined him.

 _Why the hell is he so frowny about Dak? That's weird._ I knew they'd been friends for a long time, but even last night Kendall seemed to be a little touchy when it came to Dak. Kendall was definitely an oddity.

"Hey, you came!" Dak exclaimed to me as he leaned over to give me an awkward side-hug.

I patted his back uncomfortably and simply said, "Hey, Dak."

He patted my shoulder and released me, then walked over to Kendall and gave him a side-hug as well. "Hey, man. I'm glad you're here. Sorry I didn't make it over here yet."

"No worries." Kendall said before looking away. "Do you have glitter in your hair?"

Dak smiled and patted his hair that was, in fact, sparkling in the sun. "Yep. I kind of got caught in the crossfires of a glitter war that the kids were having earlier when they were supposed to be working on their project." I assumed he meant Carlos and Logan's kids.

Kendall nodded, but still wouldn't look at Dak.

I saw Dak narrow his eyes in Kendall's direction before my ex-whatever-he-was turned his stare on me, as if I had something to do with Kendall's mood. I held my hand up defensively and shrugged my shoulders a little since I didn't know what was going on either, although I was pretty damn certain it had nothing to do with me.

Before Dak could say anything, his husband slipped up behind him, wrapping his arms around Dak's waist. He whispered something into Dak's ear, which made him laugh, then Dak's husband looked at me and nodded. "James."

I nodded back. "Jett. Nice to see you."

Jett rested his chin on Dak's shoulder and squeezed him tighter as he said, "You too." It didn't go unnoticed that every single time I was around them, Jett had to stake his claim on Dak. Not that I could really blame the guy. Dak and I had a long history. We had been friends with benefits, or fuck buddies, or whatever you wanted to call it for a couple of years, so I couldn't blame him for not really liking me. But I was moving past it as best I could because Dak was happy now. I'd always cared about him, so more than anything else, I wanted him to be happy. And anyway, Dak had gotten over me before he'd even started dating Jett.

Before the awkwardness could get too bad, one of Jett's friends called him away, although Dak stayed at our table and even pulled a chair over. He stole a sip of Kendall's drink with a smile, then asked, "So what did you guys get up to last night?"

For a split second, I thought that maybe Dak somehow knew that Kendall and I had hung out last night, but before I could comment, Kendall said stiffly, "I went out to the bar last night." His eyes glanced over at me, then darted away. "But I didn't meet anyone." He added with a shrug.

I furrowed my brow at Kendall, but he wouldn't look at me. _What the hell? He didn't meet anyone? Am I not a person?_ Normally, things like that didn't faze me, but it hurt to know that Kendall hadn't had as much fun as I'd thought he did last night. And that he didn't even think I was worthy of a mention when retelling his events of the night. Was he ashamed or something? It wasn't like we'd done anything weird or terrible, for fuck's sake. We'd only hung out together most of the night.

I took a swig of beer before I said something stupid or called him out for being an asshole.

Dak looked between Kendall and me a few times before he ran a hand through his hair and asked, "So Jay, what about you? What did you do last night?"

"Pretty much the same." I said with a shrug and another sip of beer. "Went out, didn't meet anyone. End of story." I sounded pissed, even to my own ears.

Kendall looked over at me with wide eyes that connected to my angry ones. He looked like he was pleading with me, but for what, I didn't know. I could see Dak moving around out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't seem to look away from Kendall.

I heard Dak clear his throat and say, "Okaaaaay." He was obviously confused by the tension that was in the air between us, but I ignored him.

I had no idea why Kendall's comment had pissed me off so badly. Maybe because I'd liked hanging out with him last night. Maybe because the only reason I'd even come here today was to see him. Maybe because I'd thought that I'd found someone that liked me enough to just fucking talk to me.

But I should've known better. No one liked me that much. And nobody that knew Dak could ever be my...friend. I'd screwed myself over by being a dick, and I was still paying the price. _Again. Always._

I took another sip of my beer, then set the bottle on the table. "You know what? I'm gonna head home. I just remembered I have a lot of work to get done." I stood up and purposefully kept my eyes on anything _but_ Kendall and said, "Thanks for the invite, Dak."

Then I got the fuck out of there, ignoring Dak and anyone else that called after me.

I didn't belong there. I didn't really belong anywhere.

* * *

 **Done! So you all got a good chunk of James' backstory this chapter. And it looks like Kames is already off to a bumpy start.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved hearing your thoughts on the last chapter and I'm glad you all are enjoying it so far! The next chapter will be up soon, and by soon, I mean either this weekend or next week. :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again everyone! This is going up a little sooner than expected, but hopefully you all don't mind. :P**

 **Before we get to the new chapter though, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Shit." I muttered as I watched James practically running out of the party. I sighed and put my hand over my eyes. _Dammit. I really screwed up._ I'd obviously hurt his feelings, which sucked big time since he was the first person in a long time to talk to me just because he felt like it. _I totally lost all my points, too._

"What the fuck was that about?" Dak asked, drawing my attention to him.

I dropped my hand and muttered, "Nothing. I don't know."

Dak crossed his arms over his chest and lifted a brow at me. "You really expect me to believe that?" He waved his hand in the general direction that James had run off in. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you hurt his feelings."

I groaned and leaned forward to bang my head on the table. I knew that look he was giving me. It was his well known 'if you hurt him, I hurt you' look. Except, it was a look that he usually reserved for people that hurt _me_. I left my forehead on the table and mumbled, "I ran into him last night."

"Oh shit. What, did you sleep with him or something?" Dak asked.

I turned my head to look at him but didn't lift my head off the table. Dak looked...shocked at the thought of me with his ex. _Ugh._ "No, I didn't sleep with him. I wouldn't do that to you. We ran into each other at the bar, and we went out for pizza and ice cream afterwards."

"Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"

"Ugh. I don't know… I thought you'd be mad."

"You thought I'd be mad that you went out for pizza and ice cream?" He said it slowly, talking to me like I was an idiot.

"No. Yes. I don't know."

Luckily, one of Dak's friends ran over to him and started talking a million miles a minute about something I couldn't care less about at the moment. I couldn't stop picturing James' hurt hazel eyes, but Dak followed his friend and patted my shoulder along the way. I closed my eyes and kept my forehead on the table. Dammit. I'd ran off the only person at this party that I actually wanted to talk to.

XxX

"You're doing the Taylor wedding on Friday, right?" Dak asked me as he looked over the schedule on the computer.

"Yeah, I thought so." I replied as I looked through the shop's mail.

"Okay, good. I'm doing the Thompson wedding on Saturday afternoon, Jett's got the Riley wedding Saturday night and…" He trailed off. I rolled my eyes since he wasn't looking at me because I thought _I_ was doing the Riley wedding. I opened my mouth to say my piece, but Dak beat me to it. "Oh shit, sorry, you got the Riley wedding."

"Yeah."

"Okay, Jett has the Ferguson wedding on Sunday." He let out a long-suffering sigh.

I eyed him and could tell he was a little upset, but I also knew he was baiting me. I puffed out my cheeks and relented. "What's wrong?"

He glanced at me, then shrugged one shoulder. "I was thinking I could take Jett out on a date on Sunday."

Ugh. Guilt tripping me, _surprise_ , _surprise_. "Fine, Dak. Just ask."

"What? I wasn't gonna say anything."

"You're full of shit. You basically already said it. You may as well ask."

He started chewing on his thumbnail as he looked me, and I knew that he was _so_ about to start pouting. You'd think after working for him for a few years, I'd have developed an immunity to his pout. But alas, I had not, and the little shit knew it.

I groaned loudly. "Fine, I'll switch with him. Happy?"

He grinned and threw his arms around me with squeal. An actual fucking squeal. "I knew you were my favorite for a reason."

I looked up at the ceiling and shook my head, but patted his back. "You're an ass."

"You're the best." He retorted, making me snort and roll my eyes.

"You don't have to butter me up. I already agreed."

He pulled away from me and shot me a grateful smile. "I know, but you're still awesome."

"Are the boys coming in today?"

"Yeah, I'm picking them up from school." Dak responded.

Since Dak was so close with Carlos' family, he usually watched Logan and Carlos' kids a couple times a week to give them some alone time, and they usually came to the studio. Sam and Jacob were good kids, so it was nice having them around sometimes.

"Awesome. I found this weird doodling robot spider thing that I wanted to give Jacob."

Dak smiled at me. "That's nice of you. I bet he'll love that. He's really into bugs right now." He wrinkled his nose, then said, "Anyway, I've gotta get these prints ready for that Bridezilla before she storms in here again."

I waved him off. "I'll finish up with the mail and start the edits for that reunion shoot."

"Thank you, Ken!" Dak shouted over his shoulder as he made his way to the back.

My coworkers, Tyler and Dustin, walked into the studio together. My curiosity was peaked, and I couldn't help but raise a brow at the pair. "Did you guys drive together or something?"

"Yeah, I picked him up because his car's in the shop." Tyler said.

"Oh, dude, that sucks. How long is it stuck for?" I asked.

Dustin shrugged. "Till the end of the week."

"Oh man. Brutal. Well, let me know if you need a ride anywhere." I said as they walked past me, heading for the break room.

Dustin smiled over his shoulder. "Thanks, man."

I waved him off and went back to my work. I was lucky to have such great coworkers that I actually considered friends. When I'd first started working here, it was only Dak and me, and now his business had grown enough that we had several employees, all of whom I liked, thank God. Dak had even trusted me with hiring the last person, Lucy. I loved that we were all a tight knit group and that this place had such a family feel, even if Dak drove me crazy all the time. _I guess that's what happens when you're around someone so much._

XxX

When I got off work, I decided to stop at the grocery store because I knew I had, like, no food at all at my apartment. I grabbed a cart and headed to the fresh produce section as I tried to mentally pick out what meals I'd cook this coming week. I'd been eating crap lately, so I figured I'd at least plan for a couple healthy meals. _Or try to._

As I reached for an orange, movement two aisles down caught my attention and I did a double take. His back was to me since he was grabbing some kind of vegetable that I couldn't see, but I was pretty damn sure it was _him_. So I dropped the orange and pushed my cart down and around until I was on the other side of him.

When I saw those hazel eyes that were scanning the vegetables, my breath caught a little. James was seriously one of the hottest guys I'd ever met. But I didn't even care about his body-Well, I _did_ , but that wasn't the only thing that caught my attention. Long eyelashes framed his sparkling hazel eyes, and when he didn't know anyone was watching him, his handsome face looked almost peaceful. His face was almost… pretty in those moments.

I ran a hand over my face when I realized what I was thinking. It didn't matter how hot or pretty or whatever he was, because I couldn't freaking have him. He was Dak's ex, and he was the worst boyfriend ever in the history of boyfriends. He hadn't even been able to call Dak his boyfriend in the _years_ that they exclusively slept together. Freaking years! I didn't want to get involved in all that drama.

I glanced at him from between my fingers and sighed. Even if he wasn't on the market for a boyfriend, he'd been fun to hang out with, and I'd hurt his feelings afterward. I, at the very least, needed to apologize to him.

"Are you planning on standing there pretending you don't see me, or are you going to say something?" James asked without looking up from the green peppers he was examining. _All the points. James has all the points._

I groaned. Of course, he'd seen me. I'd been standing there for like two whole minutes. Damn it!

"Ugh." I said and he finally looked up at me with a raised brow. I sighed and pushed my cart around so I didn't have to talk over the top of produce. I let out a sigh, building up courage to actually _say_ something coherent. "I'm sorry I was a jerk at the party."

"It's fine." He muttered, waving me off and going back to picking out his veggies.

"No, it's not. I hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't just tell Dak that we'd hung out." I ran a hand through my hair. "I did, by the way… tell him, I mean. After you left, I told him we went out for pizza and ice cream, and he didn't even care."

"That's because it wasn't a big deal."

I sighed since he was pretending to be picking out more peppers, though he'd picked up and put back down the same three like ten times. "Hey, James?" I put my hand on his forearm.

He turned his whole body toward me. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, then realized my hand was still on his arm. It felt good though, so I didn't remove it. Instead, I rubbed my thumb along the skin on his wrist where his shirt sleeve had ridden up. He didn't pull away, so I didn't stop. "Can we just pretend I wasn't a douche and be best friends again?"

He stared at me for a moment before a slow grin spread across his face. "Only because you just admitted that you're a douche."

I snorted out a laugh at that and shook my head, and that cute smile stayed on his face. But he suddenly turned back to the peppers, making my hand fall from his wrist, and he picked up yet another green bell pepper. I frowned at my hand and the way it missed his touch. So not cool that my hand had a mind of its own, apparently.

I nodded at the pepper he was holding. "So are you gonna pick out a pepper, or just stand there fondling them all night?"

A surprised bark of laughter fell out of his lips-point, _me_ -as he shook his head at me and turned toward his cart. When he turned back, something came flying at my chest, making me look down and watch as a grape bounced off me and fell to the floor. I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Dude. You did _not_ just throw a grape at me."

He shrugged one shoulder, fighting back a smile, and tilted his head a little. "Yeah… I kind of did."

I shook my head. "Do you realize you just threw _food_ at the food fight champion of Saint Francis High School?"

He snorted out a laugh. "Uh-huh. Sure."

I narrowed my eyes at him, then quickly grabbed a pepper and chucked it at him. He ducked, but it got him in the shoulder and he tried to catch it, fumbling it until it fell back onto the produce table. I bit back a laugh at his flailing.

With wide eyes, he stared at me and whisper-yelled, "You're going to get us kicked out!"

A little giggle bubbled out of me- _one point, James_ -but I tried to keep it in as I laughed out, "You started it, and I wasn't about to put my title to shame just because we're in a store."

"You know, you're a little crazy." He said, though not cruelly. He sounded amused, if anything.

I shrugged a shoulder. "So I've been told." When I noticed he had a pepper in his hand again, I asked, "Dude, what is with you and the peppers? You have some weird tactile issue that the peppers are fulfilling for you?"

He huffed in amusement. "No, I was picking some out until you distracted me."

I leaned to the side and pointed at his cart. "You have, like, eight peppers in there already. How could you possibly need more than that?"

He glanced at said in his cart, then back at me. "Every week I pick a different cooking theme. This week, it's peppers."

I narrowed my eyes at his facial expression. "What was last week's theme?"

"Potatoes." He said immediately, but his lips twitched a little, giving him away.

"You're making that up."

"How do you know I don't do that?" His eyebrow lifted.

"Your eyes are shifty."

"Okay, you got me. I don't do that." He chuckled.

"Then why are you still picking some out?"

"I told you, you distracted me. I forgot I already threw them in."

I snorted and pushed my cart up beside his, trying to get him to move along. I watched as he followed my lead. "So what are you making, then?" I asked.

"I'm gonna do a stir-fry tonight, and stuffed peppers tomorrow, I think. What about you?" He asked, gesturing to my nearly empty cart.

"I don't really have a plan. I usually just come in and grab anything that looks good."

He glanced at me, then stopped near the onions, reaching for one. "Really? Isn't that frustrating? I like knowing what I'm going to make and what ingredients I need."

"You're a planner, I get that. I'm more of a fly by the seat of your pants kinda guy." I said, deciding to grab an onion just for the hell of it.

He nodded. "You like to cook?"

"Eh...sometimes. I don't mind cooking, and I think it can be fun, but it isn't something I like doing when it's just me all the time, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that. It's better when you can cook for other people, or have someone there with you. It's still something I've always enjoyed, even when I lived by myself. My little brother is staying with me, so now I get to cook for him, too."

"Oh, I think I heard something about that. He's in college or something, right?" I asked as we continued down the aisle.

"You heard about my little brother?" He sounded completely surprised.

"You do realize I work with the biggest gossip in the city, right? So yes, I heard he was living with you and that you're paying for school, or something like that. I don't know. Sometimes I tune him out." I snapped my mouth shut and looked up at him with wide eyes when I realized what I'd said.

I knew James was trying to remain friends with Dak, so I tried to backtrack. "I mean, I listen to him when it's important, but if I'm trying to work, and I need to concentrate, I…" _Shit._ "I mean… he never stops talking, so sometimes it's hard to edit and…" I trailed off and cringed.

James chuckled a little. "It's fine, Kendall. Stop worrying. I barely talk to the guy anymore."

I ran a hand over my face. "Yeah, I know. Sorry, I'm just…" I closed my mouth, sucked in a breath, and changed the subject. "So your brother is living with you. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

He smirked at my terrible subject change, and responded. "It's a good thing. I haven't seen much of him in the past twelve years, so it's been nice catching up. He's a little bit of a handful, but he's only eighteen, so I guess that's to be expected."

I nodded. "He's young."

"Not much younger than you." He said while looking at some lettuce.

"Uh, I'll be twenty-five next month, so yeah, he's young." I said. _Not that I'm old, but I'm a far cry from his kid brother._

He turned to me and looked me up and down. "Really? I thought you were about twenty-two, at the most."

"Yet, I've been working for Dak since before you two ever hooked up." I pointed out, reaching past him to grab a bag of mixed salad. If he was eating healthy, maybe I could, too. Or I could try. That'd been my plan, after all.

"I guess I never really thought about it like that."

When we finally got to the produce area, we stopped at the deli, and each took a number. There were five people already waiting, so we'd probably be there for an eternity. I turned towards James. "What kind of stir-fry are you making?"

"I'm going to do chicken and veggies, but I can't decide what kind of sauce I want. I usually make this stir-fry once a week because it's my favorite meal." His eyes met mine for a moment, but he looked away as he continued. "Last week I made this orange honey stir-fry that was really good, and Shane really liked it. It was a new recipe for me, but it turned out well. But I think I kinda want to make my teriyaki sauce tonight so now I don't know." He shrugged, then looked at me expectantly.

"Wow. I so did not think you'd be a cook." I blurted.

He smiled a little and ran a hand through his hair. "It's not something I typically talk about or anything." If I didn't know better, I would've sworn he was blushing. But why would he blush over me finding out he liked to cook? And better yet, why would _James_ blush, like, _ever_?

"I think it's awesome. And they both sound good to me, so I don't think I can help you pick. Maybe you could do the teriyaki tonight and save the orange honey for next week, just to switch it up." I lifted a shoulder a little, and when I saw that he somehow still looked embarrassed, I felt a weird pull to touch him to assure him that I meant what I'd said. That it was pretty awesome. I didn't really understand where his sudden embarrassment was coming from, but I wanted to make it go away. I resisted the urge to rub his arm and instead said, "Maybe you could send me the recipes? I haven't had stir-fry in a long time, so it might be good to try." I held out my hand. "Give me your phone."

He lifted a brow, but followed my directions anyway, pulling his phone from his pocket and passing it to me. I entered my phone number, saved it, then sent myself a text so I'd have his number, too. Then I handed his phone back with a grin. "There. Now my new best friend has my number."

His lips curved up on one side. "That's probably a requirement for the best friends thing."

My grin grew a little. "It totally is."

"Do you really want the recipes, or was this just some ploy to get my number?"

I snorted and shook my head. "No, I really do want the recipes. It sounds way better than the ramen I was planning on eating tonight."

He looked absolutely horrified. "Maybe I should send you more than just stir-fry recipes, then."

"Only send me easy stuff. I don't really like cooking a complicated dinner by myself." I chuckled.

He nodded. "I can do that." He said right before his number was called.

After he finished at the deli, I'd expected him to go finish his shopping, but I was pleasantly surprised when he waited for me and ended up walking through the rest of the store with me. He even started adding all the ingredients I'd need for the orange honey recipe, then made me walk back over to the produce section so he could fondle some more peppers before adding them to my cart.

And when we walked out of the store together, he fist-bumped me before promising to text me the recipes and pushing his cart to his car. And I may or may not have drove home with a smile on my face.

* * *

 **Done! So it looks like Kames worked things out and are back on the road to friendship!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Next chapter will more than likely end up getting posted sooner than expected as well since I've been in such a posting mood lately. :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with another chapter!**

 **Of course, before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to TheLoganTrain, winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, annabellex2, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Here's your coffee." Carlos said, passing me the deliciousness as I walked to his car in the parking lot by the office. It'd been a week since I'd run into Kendall at the grocery store.

As I took a sip of the coffee, my mind focused on Kendall. I'd sent him several recipes, and he'd texted me a couple times asking about certain ingredients. But always in that weird Kendall way. He was a character, and maybe a little odd, but he made me laugh, which was a nice feeling, and somehow, one I hadn't been used to lately. I didn't really trust him, not after what he'd done at the cookout, and I figured he'd tire of me soon enough, but I could have a little fun in the meantime.

"Thanks, 'Los." I replied before taking a long swig of coffee. "Where's your other half?"

"I guess he's still dropping the kids off at school. I'm surprised I beat him here." He replied and I nodded. It wasn't uncommon for Logan to take the kids to school while Carlos made a coffee run before work. It worked out great for me because Carlos always brought me a coffee, too. He also brought our co-worker Camille one, she was likely already inside. She typically beat the three of us there every morning.

"Oh look, there he is now." I said, pointing to Logan's car.

Carlos and I waited for Logan to park and get out of the car. As he joined us, I gave him a hug, and Carlos gave him a kiss before passing him his coffee. "What took you so long, Daddo?"

"Daddo?" I interrupted.

Logan grinned at me. "The kids decided to start calling me Daddo instead of Dad, like Carlos, because apparently it was 'too confusing' when they talked about us." He did finger quotes, then looked at his husband. "Jacob wouldn't put his shoes on. He literally sat there crying for fifteen minutes straight about it. I had to pretend I was leaving without him before he finally put them on. Then he cried the whole way to school, but the second he got out of the car he was fine and smiling at that little girl from his class."

"Of course he was." Carlos replied. "I told you he was being crazy with his shoes, and I know they're not too small or anything. We just bought him new ones."

Logan shrugged and looked at me. "How are you doing? I thought you'd come over this weekend."

I sighed as I held the door open for my friends. "I went out with Shane on Saturday, then I was running errands yesterday."

"You should've come over for dinner." Carlos said as we piled into the elevator.

I shrugged, but didn't reply. I knew that I could've gone over there yesterday, but I'd just wanted some alone time. I'd been feeling a little off the past few weeks-months, even-though I couldn't put my finger on why.

"Will you come out to dinner tonight?" He asked.

"I don't know, 'Los. I don't really want to see Dak." I answered as honestly as I could as we got off the elevator and headed down the hall. Carlos and Logan always met with Dak and usually Jett for dinner on Monday nights, and they always invited me. But I didn't really like invading on their time. Plus, Jett didn't really like me, so I didn't feel up to dealing with all that drama.

"What about tomorrow night? Come over to the house after work." Logan suggested, stopping at my office.

They both stood in the doorway waiting for an answer, so I agreed. "Yeah, sure." I said as I walked in and sat in my desk chair.

"Hey guys." Camille's sing-song voice floated into my office, though I couldn't really see her since she was behind Logan and Carlos. A second later, she squeezed herself into my office and threw her arms around my neck. I patted her back as she said, "I thought you were going to be there on Sunday!"

"Hey, Camille." I said a little awkwardly. She wasn't typically the type to hug me for no reason, so I had no idea what the hell her problem was.

When she finally pulled away a little, I looked at Logan in question, but he just shrugged a shoulder.

"You're terrible." She said, kissing my forehead before standing up straight and smacking the back of my head. "I can't believe you didn't answer my texts!"

"Ow, Camille! Fuck."

She starting rubbing my head. "Sorry, there was a little more punch to that than I'd meant."

"You think?"

"Why were you avoiding all of us this weekend? We don't hang out enough as it is." It was true that I didn't typically see her outside of work. Still, she was overreacting. "Are you doing okay?" She asked a little more gently.

She'd been acting strange toward me for a few months. Well, really, she'd been acting all concerned and overprotective since my mother passed away. But it'd been months since the funeral. Not to mention, my mother had been pretty horrible to me for my entire adult life.

"I'm fine, I swear. And for the record, I stopped answering my phone because I was sick of rehashing everything and talking about my feelings every five seconds when you call. It's been months. I'm fine."

She gave me a look of sympathy before nodding. "Okay, I get it. Sorry. I won't do that anymore." I heard Carlos snort, and I tried to hold in my comment about Camille promising this to me multiple times already, so I bit my lip as she said, "I'm taking you out to lunch today."

I didn't even have the urge to argue for fear of getting wacked in the head again, so I simply agreed. "Okay, thanks."

She nodded at me before looking at Logan and Carlos, who were still standing in the doorway watching our conversation with amused expressions. "I don't know what you two are smiling about. You still owe me. I had to go to lunch with Jo on Friday when you left early since Mr. Diamond over here," She jutted her thumb in my direction. "Decided he had to work through his lunch break. Do you know how tortuous that was?"

"I can only imagine." Carlos said, chuckling.

Logan looked at me as Carlos and Camille started gossiping. "No offense, but you seem off." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Are you still upset about Dak getting married?"

"Seriously? Why is everyone so obsessed with that? No, I'm not upset. He's moved on, and so have I. I just wish everyone else would, too."

Logan eyed me, then nodded. "You'll let me know if you need something, though, right?"

I looked at my best friend, seeing the sincerity and worry in his eyes and nodded. "I will." I whispered. However, I didn't know if that was actually true, but I figured I'd at least try. Not that I needed anything. I was fine. It was everyone else that was acting weird around me.

"Lunch at noon?" Carlos asked, drawing my attention back to him.

"Sure." I nodded and they nodded back as they headed to their own offices. I had a shit-ton of work to do, and a few clients who'd called to reschedule their meetings this week. Two of them wanted to come in a week earlier than they'd originally planned. This week was gonna blow.

My cell beeped in my pocket, so I took it out to check it.

 _Kendall: That roast beef stew I made last night was delicious. I have leftovers for lunch, but I need a new recipe. Hit me with your best shot!_

I smiled and shook my head before typing back a response.

 _Me: I think that's the 7th time you mentioned how good that stew was. You trying to make me jealous?_

I quickly sent a second message.

 _Me: What are you in the mood for? Chicken, pork, breakfast food, what?_

Kendall's reply came back almost immediately.

 _Kendall: Obviously you should be jealous of my superior cooking skills. And breakfast for dinner? Idk, I could be into that._

I chuckled a little and wrote back.

 _Me: If you're so superior, why are you asking me for a recipe? Maybe you should find one for me._

A minute later, my phone beeped again.

 _Kendall: Challenge accepted._

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I had no doubt that he'd be sending me a ridiculous recipe within the hour.

Forty-three minutes later, a text came through of a picture of some kind of bread-like concoction. It looked like a loaf of bread on the outside, but inside there were peas and corn and bunch of things I didn't recognize. And to top it off, there was a line of pickle slices along the top of the "bread." It was disgusting.

 _Me: Not in a million years. Nice try though._

XxX

"I'm sorry, Jay, I swear I didn't know until right now." Shane apologized for the millionth time on the phone. He was, supposedly, at the school library 'studying' with his girlfriend.

"Maybe I shouldn't come, then." I suggested as I walked into my apartment ad threw down my briefcase.

"No! Please, I swear I haven't seen you in like two weeks. We keep missing each other. If you're not going, then I'll just come hang out with you." It was true, between his studying for some big test and my working late, we hadn't seen each other longer than it took for me to ask if he was going to be home for dinner.

I sighed. I didn't want to be the reason that Shane missed out on something with his friends. Our father had done enough of that to last a lifetime. "No, it'll be fine. Maybe I can just find someone to come with me."

"I'm really sorry it's such short notice." He said quietly.

I snorted at that. Short notice? I had less than two hours to find someone to go to this couples-only dinner he'd convinced me to go to. "It's fine." I told him, even if it really wasn't.

As Shane apologized again, I started running through my friends trying to decide if any of them would even _want_ to come if they were available. Carlos or Logan might be able to come, but I knew they usually tried to do a movie night with the kids on Friday nights, and I didn't want to interrupt or ruin their family time. _But who else could I ask?_ Kendall's blond hair and green eyes flashed in my mind. _Hmm… I wonder if Kendall has a wedding to shoot tonight?_

I absolutely did not want to take him out on a _date_. But maybe he'd be willing to come hang out. It was worth a shot, I supposed, and he'd probably be fun to hang out with… as long as he wasn't embarrassed by me again. I shook my head, ridding myself of the stupid thought. It'd be fine if he came, and I'd be fine whether he acted like an ass again or not.

"Hey, little bro, let me hop off so I can call my friend Kendall. I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay, see ya." He hung up, so I immediately dialed Kendall so I wouldn't have time to chicken out.

As soon as he greeted me, I asked, "Do you have any plans tonight?" I cringed when I realized what that sounded like.

"Well, hello to you, too." He chuckled, and hearing his voice and his laugh made me smile despite myself. "Not really, I don't have a wedding to shoot tonight. I'm just figuring out what I'm going to make for dinner. I was thinking of ordering a pizza. Why, what's up?"

"Would you want to go to dinner with me? My brother invited me and I said yes before he told me it was all couples going." I explained.

"Awww, are you asking me out on a date?"

I blanched and froze in place for at least thirty seconds before Kendall burst out laughing on the other side of the phone. "Asshole." I muttered.

"I'm sorry," He said between bouts of laughter. "But that was just too easy… I wish I could have seen your face."

"Ha ha ha, very funny." I put the phone on speaker so I could change out of my suit. "So can you come or not?"

"Sure, I'll be your date." He was still laughing at me.

"Fake date." I corrected as I changed into jeans.

He sighed. "Fine, I'd love to be your fake date." He still sounded amused.

"I'll pick you up in an hour."

"Shit, all right, I better get going so I can get ready."

"Thanks, Kendall." I said before we both hung up.

XxX

"Why did you bring me to dinner with a bunch of kids?" Kendall leaned in and whispered to me. He was very clearly trying to get me out of my weird funk.

I chuckled a little and whispered back, "I told you it was with my brother."

He made a face. "I didn't realize they'd _all_ be that young. I don't even know who the hell they're talking about."

That made me laugh a little louder, especially since Kendall wasn't that much older than them. Shane and his friends had been talking about some new band for at least twenty minutes. The only reason I knew who it was, was because my brother had been talking about them for the past couple of months. "Aw, come on, Kendall, have you been living under a rock?"

"I've practically been living at the studio lately. I'm like the editing king."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Shane's date's voice interrupted me. "So you two are boyfriends?" I lifted a brow in the girl's direction and saw Shane shrugging at me from beside her.

Kendall started laughing softly beside me, so I elbowed him before answering her. "No, we're just friends."

Kendall suddenly put his arm over my shoulders and said way louder than necessary, "Oh, come on, Jamie, it' okay. You can tell her."

I heard Shane snicker while his girlfriend, Emily, said dramatically, "Awwww."

But I ignored them both in favor of facing Kendall and his amused, pretty face. He was biting his lip, obviously holding back a laugh at what I was sure was a surprised, and possibly annoyed, look on my face. I took a little breath before responding. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and pucker up."

His eyes went wide for a moment before he glanced down at my puckered lips, then back into my eyes. He stilled for a moment. "You sure you want to challenge me?" He whispered as his eyes flicked up to mine, and I only had a brief moment to see the smirk on his face before he very gently pushed his lips against mine.

I froze, completely shocked since I hadn't thought for even a second that he'd actually go through with it, but then I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy his soft lips. They were softer than I'd thought they'd be, and somehow the feel of them against my own forced a small moan from my throat. Luckily, the restaurant was loud, so I didn't think he heard me. But unluckily, I couldn't seem to pull away from him, either. I felt a flutter in my stomach and a tightening in my chest that made me want more. I pressed forward slightly, and just when I was about to grab his head and deepen the kiss, my brother's voice caught my attention and broke my momentary lapse in judgement.

"Jay, gross. No making out in the middle of dinner." Shane said, causing me to lean back, breaking contact with Kendall's perfec-lips, just lips. _They're just lips. Nothing special, or perfect, about them._

I waved my brother off without looking away from the man beside me. His eyes were still closed, his lips still puckered a little, and I watched as he took a shuddered breath. Then his eyes snapped open and locked with mine, and I could see the fire in them. If I didn't know that he absolutely didn't want me that way, I would've thought it was lust, though there was something else there, too. Something else that I couldn't define. Not that I wanted to, not that it mattered.

Then his whole demeanor changed and he patted my cheek before looking over at my brother. "Trust me, that is _not_ how you make out at a dinner table. You'd probably be traumatized if I'd actually meant it." Kendall glanced at me, then away again. "That was just a friends kiss."

I completely agreed. And yet… and yet hearing him say those words made my chest hurt in a completely different way, similar to the way I'd felt when he'd refused to tell Dak we'd hung out. _What the fuck?_ I squeezed my hands into fists, then wrung them out a few times under the table trying to get rid of the strange feeling.

 _Kendall is my friend. I don't need to go ruining another friendship by sleeping with him!_

Why the hell was I even thinking about sleeping with him in the first place? I didn't need to sleep with Kendall. I didn't even want to.

Had I not been panicking, I might've laughed at myself for the ridiculous thought. Even in my panic, I knew I needed to get my head straight. _You don't want to sleep with Kendall. You don't want to sleep with him. You_ don't _want to sleep with him._ I continued my silent mantra, over and over again. Maybe if I said it enough times, I'd actually start to believe it.

Kendall's voice broke through my mini-freak-out. "How long have you and Shane been dating?" He asked Emily.

As Kendall and Emily started talking, the tightness in my chest loosened, and I was able to relax and just enjoy Kendall's antics as he told everyone at the table about a waiter knocking him into a huge flower display last weekend. I laughed a little as his hands flailed around, telling the story with dramatics. He even smacked me in the nose at one point, then paused his story to pat my cheek and apologize in a ridiculous voice that made me laugh. I was genuinely happy for the first time all week. I was extremely glad that I'd invited Kendall to come with me tonight. He was pretty good at making any situation feel a little lighter.

"What are you getting for dessert?" Kendall's voice pulled my attention to him.

"Huh?"

He grinned at me. "They all decided to get dessert. Wanna split something?"

"Sure." I replied. "Whatever you want is fine."

His grin grew wide. "Are you sure you want _me_ to pick?"

I wrinkled my nose as I remembered the awful ice cream he'd gotten. "You're right. I get to pick." I snatched the dessert menu from him.

"Hey." He said with a laugh.

"Sorry, but you get no vote. Besides, I'm pretty sure I won the best dessert challenge last time." I said, examining the menu.

"That ice cream _was_ really good." He sighed.

"That's because I have good taste."

He snorted and elbowed me, then leaned over my arm to look at the menu too. His closeness made my breath catch, but I just ignored it as best I could and concentrated on the desserts. He argued with me when I picked, but I could tell he was just messing with me, so I didn't back down, and ordered what I wanted for us from the waitress.

"James?" Shane tried to get my attention, so I gazed at my brother questioningly. He gave me weird look as he asked, "Where are you watching the game on Sunday?"

It took me a second before I realized he was talking about the hockey game. He and I had started watching the games together whenever we could. "Uh, at home?" I had no clue why that sounded like a question.

Shane was still making that weird face at me as he said, "Well, we were thinking about coming back here to watch it. You wanna come?"

I looked around the restaurant and noticed all the TVs everywhere, so I shrugged. "Sure." Then I looked at Kendall. "Wanna come, too?"

Kendall eyed me for a moment. "I'll have to see if I'm done with my shoot in time." He leaned in and whispered so only I could hear. "I'm not really… into sports, so I don't know anything about hockey."

I smirked at him. "I guess I'll have to teach you, then."

"Okay. If you don't mind. I'll try to make it here in time." He sent me a soft smile.

I nodded before brushing off the weird feelings I was getting and resuming the conversation with Shane.

* * *

Oh. My. God. That. _So_. Hadn't been a friends kiss.

What the hell had I been thinking? James was out of the question, no chance, not permitted, absolutely _not_ dateable, just _no_. _No!_

But his lips had felt sooooo good. I shivered at the memory and couldn't help but wonder what they would feel like all over my-

 _No! Stop it. He's unavailable. You'll only get your heart broken. So not worth it. He is a friend. Nothing else._

But. Those. Lips.

"Kendall?"

Hearing James' smooth voice snapped my attention to him. "Huh?"

His brow furrowed. "You okay over there? You look… flustered."

 _So embarrassing._ I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just…" I cleared my throat again. "Hot in here." His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and I almost groaned at the sight. _Okay, maybe it'd be a little bit worth it._

He tilted his head, and I had to admit, he looked fucking adorable doing it. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yep. I'm good." I squeaked.

He eyed me, but let me get away with it. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah." I willed my voice to go back to normal. "I'm going to a bride's house at noon to take pics of the wedding party getting ready. I think the wedding starts at, like, six, so it'll be a late night. Why? Do you have to work?"

"No, I don't typically work on Saturdays. Would you want to grab a movie when we get done here tonight? Or we could rent one back at my place or something?" He asked.

I could only blink at him. Was he? Surely he wasn't asking to hook up with me, right? "You want to watch a movie with me at your place?" I asked slowly.

"Sure. I think Shane and Emily are coming back, but they don't spend a lot of time in the living room."

So _not_ a date, then. Or a hookup. But definitely not a date. I bit my lip to hide my irrational disappointment, even though there was nothing to be disappointed about.. "Sure, that would be fun." I responded.

He smiled at me and his eyes lit up, making the ridiculous disappointment vanish.

After we finished eating some tasty dessert that I refused to admit was delicious-though my moans of pleasure as I'd practically inhaled it, likely gave me away-we said our goodbyes and James drove me back to his apartment.

And when we got there, we picked out a movie… and actually watched it. He didn't even make a move. He didn't flirt. He didn't even sit on the same couch as me. Apparently, he'd really meant it to be a friends hanging out type of thing. I was truly beginning to believe that his reputation was overexaggerated. I mean, how could a guy that had such a terrible reputation turn out to be so sweet? I like him, a lot. _As a friend._

I just needed to forget about that stupid kiss.

After the movie, I was going to call for a ride, but James insisted on driving me home. And he walked me to my door… and _still_ didn't try to kiss me. I couldn't decide if I was relieved or disappointed. Maybe I was a bit of both?

He was a friend, I didn't _want_ him to kiss me. It would be weird and awkward.

But those damn lips.

 _Ughhhhhhh!_

XxX

It'd been two weeks since James and I hung out, but we'd been texting each other daily and even spoke on the phone several times. Unfortunately, our schedules hadn't meshed enough for us to hang out again since I'd had several weddings to photograph. I'd even had to skip that hockey game, or whatever it was. When my phone rang on a Wednesday afternoon, I smiled and walked into the break room at work to answer.

"Hello?" I said as I looked in a cabinet for some food to steal.

"Hey, Kendall. How's it going?"

"You mean how's it going since I last texted you thirty minutes ago?"

He huffed out a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. "Do you always have to be such a smartass?"

"Yes." I responded immediately. He sighed again and I couldn't help but chuckle. "What about you? How's it going over there? Anything interesting happen in the last half hour?"

"Actually, yes, that's why i'm calling. Logan and Carlos are forcing me to go to dinner with them tonight because they're convinced I'm lonely or some stupid shit. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd come with me? I hate feeling like the third wheel."

"Ooohhhh, James Diamond is asking me on a date!"

He snorted out a laugh. "Shut up. No, I'm not."

"A double date!"

"Why am I friends with you again? You're a pain in the ass."

"Yeah, but you love it." I said with a smile as I rummaged through the refrigerator for something munch on. "And I'd love to be your date tonight."

He sighed. " _So_ not a date, but I'll take it. Thank you. We're going to Timmy's."

"Oh, I love that place. What time?"

"Seven, if that works for you."

"Uh." I ran a hand through my hair. "That should give me enough time to go home and change, so yeah, that works."

"I'm sure you look fine in whatever you're wearing now."

I looked down at myself in my purple shirt, tight jeans, and black boots. "Of course, I do, but I'm gonna change anyway."

"Well, I'm probably going to end up going straight there from work, so I-"

"Ooooh." I cut him off. "I get to see you in a suit."

"Shit, I see the lunch brigade coming to attack me. I better go."

I smiled. "Okay, I'll see you at seven."

"See you then." After a pause, he added, "And thanks, Kendall. It'll be a lot better with you there." Then he hung up without another word.

I stared at the phone for a moment, then shook my head and took a breath as I put it in my back pocket.

"You have a date!"

I jumped before turning toward the door of the breakroom and huffed at Dak standing there. "I do not. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to know that you have a huge crush on whoever that was on the other end of the phone."

"Not true." I opened the fridge again, even though I already knew there wasn't anything good in there. "You know, your husband has really brought down the quality of snacks available in this establishment. I think we need to boycott him and bring in everything unhealthy again. What happened to all my string cheese and puddings? If he threw them away, that's stealing!"

"Don't change the subject." Dak said, still blocking the door and my escape. "Jett only threw away the expired stuff, anyway." I turned to face him and frowned. He lifted an eyebrow and chuckled at me. "Who were you talking to?"

"I'm not telling you."

His eyes went wide. "That means I know him! Oh my God, you have to tell me who it is! Beau? Kyle? Tristan? Hunter? Matty? James? Come on, tell me!"

"Oh my God, Dak, chill the fuck out! I'm just meeting some friends for dinner. I swear it's not a date." I said with wide eyes. He was hyper as fuck.

He pouted. "That's no fun. And maybe it's not a date, but I can tell that you want it to be."

I sighed and ran a hand over my face. "No, I don't." _Maybe I should tell him it's James. Carlos is gonna be there, so he's probably going to find out, anyway._ I opened my mouth, but chickened out and said, "I'm going to check if my next appointment showed up yet." Then I squeezed by him and through the door, making my escape.

Telling Dak that I was hanging out with his ex was not something I wanted to do. Even if James and I were only friends, I didn't want Dak, a person I'd been friends with for years, to be upset or pissed at me. Ugh. My phone beeped with an incoming text, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud when I read it.

 _James: The lunch brigade is dragging me to the cafe. If I don't text within the hour, send help!_

 _Me: You are such a dork._

 _James: Takes one to know one._

I chuckled at that but had to greet a customer before I could respond back.

* * *

 **Done! So you got both James and Kendall's POV's this chapter! I was going to have Kendall's separate, but it was so short that I just included it in this chapter.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Quick shout-out to XxxAnimaniacxxX for getting the title reference! I feel like that song fits this story pretty well. :P**

 **I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter! The next one will be up soon-ish! ;)**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**

 **I hope you all enjoyed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I don't why I've ended up posting before I go to bed the past few days, but it's becoming a habit. :P**

 **Before we get into the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I waited outside the restaurant for Kendall to arrive.

It was cold out, but I didn't mind after being cooped up in the office all day. The air was refreshing and the smells coming from the restaurant were kinda worth it.

"Did you just sniff the air?" Kendall's voice made me jump and he started laughing. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't. I just didn't realize you'd walked over."

"Uh-huh." He hummed with an eye roll. "What's with smelling the air?"

I shrugged, a little embarrassed that I'd been caught. "It smells good out here."

He smiled. "It does. I love driving past this place. I actually started taking a detour just so I could smell all the spices."

I narrowed my eyes. "You're making that up."

He lifted his hands up in surrender. "I am not. Why would I make that up?"

I couldn't tell if he was telling the truth, but I decided to let it go and opened the door to wave him in. "You ready to eat?"

"Thanks." He said with a smile as he walked through the open door. "I'm starving. Jett threw away all my food in the break room."

"Why would he do that?"

"Supposedly, it was expired. I told him to prove it, but he said he wasn't digging through the trash for me, the jerk."

"So, you didn't eat lunch?" I asked him before turning to the hostess. "Four, please."

"Follow me." She said, and the two of us trailed behind her.

Kendall sighed and mumbled, "Jett ran down the street to get me a sandwich and fries for lunch."

"So he threw away expired food and replaced it, and you're still mad?" I chuckled.

He crossed his arms over his chest and stuck out his bottom lip. "He threw away my string cheese."

A surprised laugh bubbled out of me. "What is with you and string cheese? And seriously, all you do is eat and you're somehow still always hungry. How are you so tiny? Do you go to the gym all the time or something?"

He snorted. "Yeah, me and gym do not belong in the same sentence."

"Here you go. Enjoy your meal. Your server will be with you in a moment." The hostess said before taking off.

Kendall slid into his seat closer to the wall, and I stood there for a second unsure of where to sit. After a moment's hesitation, I sat beside Kendall since I figured Carlos and Logan would want to sit next to each other. Once I hung my jacket on the back of my chair and sat down, Kendall shoulder-bumped me with a grin before whispering, "Date."

I laughed a little since I could tell he was only joking with me. I picked up my menu and started looking it over.

"You wanna split an appetizer with me?" Kendall asked after a minute.

"Sure."

"Good. I could seriously eat a horse right now."

I shook my head in amusement at him.

"Hey, James." I looked up at the sound of Logan's voice. Logan had a confused expression on his face as he glanced at Kendall, then back at me. "Hey, Kendall?" It sounded like a question, and I sighed in exasperation at what I was sure would become a game of twenty questions.

Kendall set his menu down and stretched out his hand to shake. "Hey, Logan, good to see ya."

"You too." Logan said as he shook his hand, then sat across from me and looked at me questioningly.

"Long time, no see." Kendall said to him.

"I saw you yesterday when I picked the kids up from the studio." Logan answered with that confused expression still on his face. Logan and Carlos' kids went to Dak's studio after school a couple days a week, so I was sure Kendall saw the kids, as well as Logan and Carlos, on a regular basis.

Kendall chuckled. "I was joking." He picked his menu back up, and Logan looked at me with a question in his eyes.

I rolled my eyes at him before decided to shift his focus for the moment. "Where's 'Los?"

Logan ran a hand through his hair. "Jacob wasn't feeling good, so he stayed home with the kids."

"We could have rescheduled." I said. "Is he okay?"

"He'll be fine. I think he was faking it for attention because he spent the night over at his friends house last weekend. He's been a little clingy since then because he missed us. Anyway, he's fine and Carlos decided that I should come out with you even though I wanted to stay with Jake. But you know how Carlos is, there was no arguing with him once he had the idea of us spending time together in his head."

Kendall put his menu down and looked back and forth between Logan and me. "Now I feel like I'm intruding. I can just go. I haven't put my order in or anything yet."

"Don't be ridiculous." I said, placing my hand over his on the table. "I invited you. I want you here."

Kendall looked down at my hand, so I snatched it away, then he looked over at Logan and back to me. "Are you sure you guys don't mind?"

"Of course not." Logan answered before I could. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just surprised to see you since James didn't tell me you were coming." Logan looked over at me. "What if I got here before you and put in the wrong headcount?"

"When have you and 'Los _ever_ been on time anywhere? You know I get everywhere early." I shrugged, then glanced at the menu again and my eyes widened. I turned to look at Kendall. "Don't you dare do it."

"What?" He feigned innocence but a small laugh bubbled out of his mouth.

"You know what. I refuse to eat that."

"Oh, come on. Try something new with me. You know you want to."

I shuddered in revulsion. "I'm not eating clams. We've had this discussion before." When he started giggling-he was a total giggler-I glared at him. "That was the whole reason you asked if I wanted to share an appetizer, isn't it?"

His laugh grew and he wiped under his eyes. "Sorry, I wanted to see if you'd notice. We can get something else, but I swear that I'm going to get you to try them one day."

I fake-shuddered. "Not gonna happen. Let's just get some nachos or something."

"Ugh. You're so boring." He snapped his menu shut. "But fine, nachos it is."

I looked over at Logan, who was staring at me with surprise and a question on his face again. I just shrugged a shoulder at him and looked at the entrees.

When the waiter came to take our orders, Logan ordered last and Kendall elbowed me and nodded his head at the waiter, whose nametag said _Sam_. Kendall leaned in and whispered in my ear, "That guy is totally into Logan."

I eyed the guy and when he laughed at something Logan said and put his hand on Logan's shoulder, I knew my eyebrows rose into my hairline. "Wow." I whispered, shaking my head. Kendall started laughing.

From that point on, every time Sam came to our table, he started up a conversation with Logan, and Logan seemed completely oblivious to the fact that the guy was totally enamored with him and was nervous every time Logan looked at him. It was actually kind of adorable because the guy was sweet and quirky, but I kept wanting to tell him that Logan was married so I could put the poor guy out of his misery.

And when the guy would leave, Kendall had me cracking up by whispering ridiculous things into my ear in a mock voice. _"Oh my God, you're so hot." "I'll hand feed you your shrimp, you sexy man." "Can I please sit in your lap, just for a minute?"_

After the last time he did it, I pushed his shoulder. "Stop. He has a crush, leave the poor kid alone."

Kendall chuckled. "I know. He's actually really sweet. I'm not making fun of him, just the situation. Out of everyone at our table, he picks the married one to flirt with."

"Wait, what?" Logan asked, blinking at us. "What do you two keep whispering about over there? Who's flirting?"

Kendall bit his lip and eyed me, then looked at Logan. "Our waiter has a crush on you."

"No, he doesn't. He's just being nice and looking for a big tip." Logan argued.

Kendall eyed me again before looking at Logan. "Sorry, dude, but that kid has hearts in his eyes every time he looks at you."

Logan puffed his cheeks and looked around the restaurant, probably looking for Sam, then he looked back at me. "Well…"

I chuckled. "Do you guys want to get dessert?"

"Obviously." Kendall said immediately.

"I shouldn't have even asked." I muttered. "Logan, you want to get something?"

"Sure." He said with a shrug.

Kendall put his napkin on the table. "I need to use the restroom. Can you order me the weirdest thing on the menu?"

"Yep." I said, already knowing which dessert to order for him.

"Thanks." He said before getting up and walking away.

I looked over the dessert menu one more time but felt eyes on me, so I looked up. "What?"

Logan was giving me a weird look. "Since when are you and Kendall such good friends?"

I sighed, shut the menu and set it down. "I don't know. We ran into each other a few weeks back and have hung out a couple of times." I shrugged and added, "And I send him recipes and stuff sometimes." _Try, every day._

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know, Jay, you should probably be car-"

"Seriously?" I cut him off. "Are you really going to give me a lecture on starting something with him? He's my friend, Logan. I thought you'd be happy that I was going out and making friends, something I remember you lecturing me about a couple months ago." I scrubbed my hands down my face. "God, I'm so sick of everyone always treating me like a monster because of what happened with Dak. That wasn't my fault. Well, not _only_ my fault. He knew what he was getting into. I'm really sorry he got hurt, more sorry than anyone knows, okay? And I'm not stupid enough to hurt Kendall like that. We're just friends. I wouldn't do that to him. I'm not going to hurt him. I just wish everyone would stop warning me about hurting people."

Logan blinked at me for a few seconds before responding. "Is that really what you think? That I'm worried about you hurting him?"

"Obviously. That's what everyone thinks. Everyone thinks I hurt Dak on purpose, then went and hurt Matthew, even though no one fucking knows what happened, and now I'm out prowling for my next victim."

Logan's eyes were wide. "Jesus, James, that's not what I think at all. I don't think anyone feels that way, apart from a few judgemental assholes. I wasn't going to warn you not to hurt him, I was going to say that you should be careful so _you_ don't get hurt again. I know it's hard for you to admit, but I know you. I've known you for a long time. And I know you really cared about Dak, I know you've been hurting and sad since he moved on. I don't know what went down between you and Matty because you won't tell me, and that's fine, but I don't think you hurt him on purpose or anything. I was going to tell you that I'm glad you're hanging out with Kendall, but to be careful because I can tell that you like him."

I took a deep breath. "I do like him. As a friend. Trust me, he wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole. I needed a change of pace, so I've been talking to him and hanging out a little… as friends."

Logan nodded and looked over my shoulder for a moment before he spoke again. "You know I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about anything, right?"

"I know." I said with a small smile as Kendall plopped back down beside me.

"Holy fuck, the hand dryer in there almost blew me out the door. And it was loud as fuck. I think I've temporarily lost my hearing."

"It sounds like it with how loud you're talking." I said to Kendall.

Kendall rolled his eyes. "This is my voice. If you don't like it, I suggest you invest in some earplugs."

Logan chuckled at that.

"Did you guys order dessert?"

"No, Logan's new boyfriend hasn't come back over yet, but I know what to get you."

I heard Logan mumble something about calling Sam his new boyfriend, but I ignored him because Kendall spoke up again. "You still want to order for me?"

"Yep."

Kendall wrinkled his nose and stared at me suspiciously. "You're not getting me plain vanilla ice cream, or some shit, are you?"

"No. I promise it's something weird and probably disgusting." I chuckled.

He smiled. "Good."

"You're not stealing any of my cheesecake, though."

"You say that _now_."

"I say that always."

"You do realize that now I'm going to steal some simply because you said I can't, right?"

"Yeah, I figured." I shrugged.

Kendall looked over at Logan. "Awww, he wants to share his dessert with me."

I rolled my eyes as Logan chuckled before responding. "That's what I heard, too."

"Oh great, you're taking his side now?" I asked Logan.

Logan and Kendall exchanged a look before Logan nodded his head. "Absolutely."

Kendall practically cackled beside me, and all I could do was shake my head at the two of them and bite back my grin.

Logan smiled at me, and I could tell that he was telling me that he liked Kendall, so I smiled back and took a deep breath. I hated talking about my feelings, and I hated it even more when other people talked about them.

But Logan had actually made me feel a little better. This whole time I'd thought he was pissed about the Dak situation, but it seemed that my best friend was only worried about me. And while that wasn't really something I wanted him to feel, it was kind of nice to know that he was looking out for me and had my back.

After I ordered the desserts, I noticed Kendall's frown. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm not a huge fan of bananas." He said.

I laughed. "You should've said something. Want me to change the order?" I'd ordered him a slice of banoffee pie, which was some weird banana and coffee concoction that sounded disgusting to me.

"No, I'll try anything once." He sighed.

"There's also a peanut butter cup cheesecake." I said.

His eyes went wide. "There is?"

"I'll go find Sam and change the order." I chuckled.

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind. Plus, if you're stealing some of mine, I get some of yours, and that banoffee doesn't sound very good to me." I got up before he could argue with me. I knew he wouldn't do it himself.

As I walked away, I heard Logan start to speak. "Do you have a bunch of weddings to shoot this weekend?"

"No, only one, but…" Kendall responded.

I couldn't hear the rest of his response, but I smiled wondering if I'd get to hang out with him this weekend.

* * *

 **Done! So, more Kames this chapter! Along with a dinner, unfortunately minus Carlos.**

 **I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Fair warning, next chapter will introduce another OC, but I promise the focus is Kames and the OC's keep things fun and the plot flowing! :P That chapter will be up a little later this week.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get into it, I'd like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I'd also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Oh my God, you have chocolate chip muffins?"

"We typically have them on Thursdays." My friend Dylan said from behind the counter.

"Not by the time I get in here." I replied as I looked at the many pastry options in the display at The Chipped Mug. Dylan helped run this place since it belonged to his boyfriend. I knew them both through Dak because, apparently, I was unable to make friends on my own. _Sigh._

Dylan reached into the case and plucked up a delicious, chocolatey muffin that made my mouth drool, then he passed it to me.

"If I'm nice to your boyfriend, do you think he'd warm it up for me so the chocolate chips are all melty?"

"You could just be nice to me for once so I'll do it." He said, crossing his tattooed arms over his chest.

"You're too scary for me to ask a favor from." I responded, hiding my grin behind my muffin.

Dylan frowned, but before he could respond, another employee named Matty walked out. Matty took one look at Dylan's face, then glanced at me and started flicking his lip ring back and forth before saying to Dylan in that soft voice of his, "Whatever he said, ignore him. He's just being an ass."

"Hey!" I yelled, but couldn't help the laugh that came out. "I am not."

Matty picked up a pastry paper, crumpled it, then chucked it at me, hitting me in the forehead with it. I yelled again. "Dylan! Your employee's harassing me!"

"I didn't see a thing." Dylan said in response. Matty chuckled as he loaded some eclairs into the display, and Dylan huffed and held his hand out to me. "Give me the muffin."

"Promise to bring it back?"

"You'll have to take that risk if you want melty chocolate chips."

I frowned, but passed the muffin back, and he walked into the kitchen, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath. I looked over at Matty. "Will you give me an eclair to hold me over?"

He snorted, but passed me one.

After taking a bite and swallowing, I asked, "How's school going? You have any classes with that asshat this semester?" I pointed in the direction of Dylan since he was taking classes, too.

Matty nodded. "Two this semester. And it's going pretty good, so far." Matty wasn't known for being the most talkative guy around, but he was really sweet. I watched as he finished filling the display, set the tray on the counter, threw away his plastic gloves, then pulled his long-sleeves down. His black-dyed hair fell into his eyes as he began wiping down the counter.

I watched him while I finished off my eclair. The last time I'd seen him outside of his workplace was at Dak's New Year's Eve party, and ever since then, I'd been curious about something. And now that I was hanging out with James regularly, I was even more curious.

Before I even realized my own intentions, I blurted, "What happened between you and James?" _Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit. Why the hell did I ask that?_

Matty froze and looked up at me through his hair. He flicked his lip ring back and forth again while pushing his hair out of his eyes and surveying the room.

"You're not dating him, are you?" I asked, then snapped my mouth shut. I hadn't meant to say that out loud. _Fuck, why the hell did I just say that? Idiot. I'm a fucking idiot._

Matty sighed and scooted closer to me, then spoke in that oh-so-quiet voice of his. "We're definitely not dating. We hooked up a few times, but we haven't in months and we don't plan to anymore."

I blew out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Why do you want to know?" He asked slightly hesitantly as he played with the sleeves of his shirt.

"No reason." I said automatically, then cringed and amended, "I've just seen him a lot recently and was wondering." I shrugged. _Nice save, dumbass. Sigh._

Matty nodded and went back to cleaning the counter even though I was sure it was completely clean by now. After a minute, he spoke without looking up from his task. "He… I saw him after the last time we hooked up, and he helped me get out of a bad situation… and he didn't expect anything in return."

My eyebrows shot into my hairline. "A bad situation?" I was surprised I hadn't heard about there even being a bad situation. The fact that James helped without wanting anything in return no longer surprised me. Had I heard this a couple months ago, I probably wouldn't have believed it. _God, my opinions on him had been so, so wrong._

Matty looked up, shrugged a shoulder and nodded.

I wanted to ask for more details, but from the look on his face, I didn't think he'd appreciate any more questions about it, so I simply nodded back. What kind of bad situation? What happened? And what was with the _he didn't expect anything in return_ comment? Of course, James hadn't expected anything in return. He was a nice guy. _Maybe Matty isn't used to nice guys or something._

"Here's your muffin." Dylan said as he came back out, holding the muffin out to me.

"Thank you." I shook off the strange conversation with Matty and grinned at Dylan. "Did you get lost back there or something? Maybe you fell and your boyfriend's mouth had to catch you?"

Dylan snorted and rolled his eyes. "That's exactly what happened. Good thing he was there because I needed mouth to mouth."

I chuckled and peeled open the muffin. "Oh, I stole an eclair, so add it to my tab."

Dylan grinned at me, then looked at Matty. "Did you finish that English paper yet?"

"No. I started it last night, so I'll have to finish after work tonight."

I groaned. "Yeah, that's my cue to leave. Have fun talking about school shit."

"See ya next week, Kendall." Dylan said, knowing that I came here about once or twice a week, unlike Dak who was in here at least once a day. Yeah, _at least_.

"See ya." Matty said softly with a shy smile.

I waved to them both and headed out the door, then drove to work.

As I walked from my car into the studio, my phone chirped, so I pulled it out and smiled when I saw who'd texted me.

 _James: Can I kidnap you on Saturday and get you to come to the baseball game with me, Shane, and Emily?_

I wrinkled my nose at the thought of sitting through a whole baseball game and typed out my response.

 _Me: I don't think you're supposed to ask permission for kidnapping._

 _James: You're a pain in the ass._

I chuckled and started to write a reply, but another text came through before I could finish. I snorted when I read it.

 _James: There will be food. Lots of it. And we can buy something disgusting off a street vendor on the way in._

 _Me: Sold._

 _James: That was easier than I thought it'd be._

Did he really think I wouldn't come with him? I mean, really? There was never any question as soon as he'd asked.

 _Me: Whatever we get better be super disgusting._

James' reply came right away.

 _James: Repulsive and nauseating. Got it._

I laughed and walked into the studio. Dustin was standing at the front desk looking at me as if I had three heads. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." I shrugged. "Just making plans for the weekend."

"Oh yeah? What are you doing?"

"Going to the baseball game on Saturday."

Dustin stared at me for a long time, so I quirked a brow at him. "You're serious, aren't you?" He asked.

I snorted. "Why would I make that up?"

"In all the time I've known you, you've never been interested in sports. None whatsoever."

"Who says I'm not? Just because I don't talk about it all the time doesn't mean I'm not interested."

"You say it. I tried to get you to come to my Super Bowl party last month, and I think your exact words were 'I'd rather be buried alive.'"

"Did I really say that?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"You're an idiot." Dustin chuckled. "So I'm guessing you have a new guy that's into baseball."

"Not everything I do revolves around men." I walked behind the desk to look at the schedule of appointments for the evening. Dustin had the computer on and from the looks of it, he was going through photos, putting a package together.

"Maybe not everything, but _most_ of what you do does." He passed me the appointment book.

I shot him a glare. "Not true. What are you doing this weekend? Something with your girlfriend?"

"Talking about her is not going to distract me. Tell me who this guy is."

"There's no guy. I'm just going with a friend, I promise." I shot him a grin and he rolled his eyes at me, and I shoulder-bumped him in response. "So when are you bringing the new girlfriend around? I haven't met her yet."

"Yeah, she has a really busy schedule and I'm busy on the weekends, so it's hard to make time."

"What does she do again? Teaches dance or something like that?"

"Yep. She's still finishing up her degree."

I finished looking at the schedule, so I closed the book before responding. "Do you have any classes with her?"

"Just one. We're both taking anatomy. That's how we met."

I nodded. "I remember now. Why are you taking anatomy?"

"Because I needed one more science credit and it fit my schedule."

"So when do I get to meet her?"

"As soon as you tell me who this mysterious 'friend' is."

I rolled my eyes but didn't say anything. I didn't really know why I was worried, but I was. I knew that everyone-Dustin and Tyler especially-would be judgey and mean about me being friends with James. Not that any of them knew him well, but all of us-myself included-saw Dak every time they'd broken up. And there were many times.

It was like James was the big bad wolf, and I just didn't feel like hearing all the warnings and mean things said about him. The James I knew, the one I'd been hanging out with and talking to, he wasn't that person. I knew that he and Dak had a rough go of it, and maybe they had their issues during their relationship. But I also knew that James was kind and caring and sweet. And he was becoming a good friend in the short time we'd been hanging out. He wasn't pushing for sex or anything. He wasn't trying to 'take advantage' of me. But that wasn't how everyone else would see it.

I guess I couldn't blame them for what they thought. But I also wanted them to forgive and forget. Everyone deserved a second chance.

If I told Dustin now, he'd no doubt tell everyone else in the studio. But I needed to tell Dak myself. He deserved to hear it from me that I was hanging out with his ex. He'd been my friend for a long time, and I didn't want anything to jeopardize that.

"Hey, Kendall?"

I snapped my gaze to Dustin when he said my name and waved a hand in front of my face.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sighed. I shook off my thoughts and changed the subject. "Are you working that wedding with me on Sunday?"

He eyed me for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I can pick you up in the morning if you want. It's an hour's drive away."

"Is it really? We're gonna be gone all damn day." I groaned.

"Yep. I can pick you up at eight-thirty?"

I groaned again, thinking about how early I'd have to get up. "Okay. Thanks."

He shot me a half smile, then went back to going through pictures on the computer.

* * *

"So we're picking up a guy that's _not_ your boyfriend, even though he's been your date, like, three times or something?" Shane asked from the passenger seat.

"Jesus, Shane, how many times are you going to ask me that?"

"Probably twenty more times before we get there."

I shot him a glare and saw him grinning at me, so I reached over the console and punched his shoulder. "Asshole."

"Ow!" He laughed before punching my shoulder back. "Jerk."

"Dude!" I yelled and rubbed my arm. "I'm driving here. You're gonna cause an accident."

"I didn't hit you that hard. Dramatic much?"

"You know, maybe I'll just conveniently forget to pick up your little girlfriend."

"You do that and I'll piss all over your bed."

"Shane, seriously? How old are you?"

"Eighteen, obviously."

I rolled my eyes at him. Having my younger brother around again was really great most of the time. But the rest of the time, I wanted to strangle him. I never, ever wanted to have kids. Teenagers were the worst. "I can't believe I bought you these tickets and actually agreed to come with you." I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that." I ignored him and pulled into Kendall's apartment parking lot, then shot him a text. Less than a minute later, he walked out of his building, and I couldn't help but smile. He was wearing an orange and black V-neck t-shirt with a zip-up hoodie over it, tight skinny jeans that looked painted on, and black boots. He was carrying a hat in his hands, though his blond hair was styled. Needless to say, he looked hot as fuck, especially when he stopped by his car and bent over to reach inside. A small groan came out as I watched his perky ass sticking up in the air.

"Yeah, _totally_ not your boyfriend." Shane said, chuckling as he opened the car door and hopped out just as Kendall made his way over. "Hey Kendall, what's up? You can sit up front with James."

"Hey." Kendall said, glancing over at me before looking at my brother. "Uh, are you sure?"

"Yeah, we're gonna go get Emily anyway, so I'll just sit in the back with her."

"Okay, thanks." Kendall hopped in the passenger seat and for some reason, he seemed nervous. I'd never seen him nervous before, but he was fidgeting all over the place as he shut the door. "Hey, James." He didn't look at me as he spoke.

My brow furrowed. "Hey. You okay?" I asked. I heard my brother get in the back, but I didn't start driving yet.

Kendall took a deep breath before facing me and sending me a half-smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a weird day."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Kendall glanced back as Shane, then smiled at me again. "Nah, I'm okay. Let's go have fun at the ball game."

It didn't sit right with me, but I let it slide anyway. Maybe I could get him to talk to me later. "Okay." I shifted the car into gear. "I like how you went all out." I waved in the general direction of Kendall's body where he was dressed in team colors.

"If I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it right."

I smiled at that. "When's the last time you went to a baseball game?"

"Uh… I've never been."

"Are you serious?" Shane asked before I could.

"Uh… yeah?" It sounded like a question.

"Why haven't you been to one?" I asked without taking my eyes off the road.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him playing with the strings of his hoodie. "I guess… I just… have never been into baseball. I never played any sports growing up or anything."

"Nothing at all?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Not really. When I was six, I tried soccer and hated it. I cried until my parents promised not to send me back."

I couldn't help but smile at that. "And they never tried to get you into anything else?"

"Once my dad realized I liked photography, he let me focus on that instead. He was a photographer, so I just went with him to his studio after school and stuff."

"I didn't know your dad was a photographer, too." I said. "Why aren't you working at his studio instead of Dak's?"

I heard Kendall let out a little gasp and I glanced at him for a moment. He looked a little pale. I turned back to the road and luckily came to a stop at a red light. I looked back at Kendall, who was aggressively chewing on the inside of his cheek, so I reached out and gently rubbed his forearm. "You okay?"

He startled and looked at me as if he was just remembering that I was there. He blew out a breath, then nodded. "Sorry, I just haven't talked about him in a long time." He took a deep breath. "He died when I was ten."

"Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No." He shook his head and cut me off. "It's fine. I just… like I said, it's been a weird day. Anyway, yeah, this is my first game."

I gently squeezed his forearm, then put my hand back on the wheel so I could continue driving. I glanced in the rearview mirror at my brother, who was frowning in Kendall's direction. I didn't really know what to say, but thankfully, my brother jumped in. "I guess that means we get to show you the ropes. I know the best hot dog stand outside the stadium. Be ready to experience an explosion of flavor." I snorted at his dramatics and he ignored me, as usual. "We'll have to buy a bunch to take in with us. You know they let in outside food and drinks, right? I could eat like five of those things."

"Then Kendall can probably eat ten himself." I said.

Kendall huffed out a laugh. "Probably."

"We can totally have a hot dog contest." Shane said.

"Don't challenge him on that. You'll lose." I told my brother.

Shane and Kendall both chuckled, but Shane suddenly leaned forward and pointed to the right. "Emily's street is right there."

"Got it." I said before putting on my blinker and heading that way. I glanced at my brother in the rearview again and smiled. Sometimes he was an ass, but he was pretty great at making other people feel better when they were down.

When I parked in front of Emily's apartment, Shane hopped out of the car. "I'll be right back."

I turned in my seat and took in Kendall. He still seemed a little off, and my curiosity was getting the better of me. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

Kendall looked at me with a sad smile, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to bring down the mood or anything."

"You're not." I squeezed his forearm again.

Kendall stared at my hand that I hadn't moved away yet, then looked out the front windshield, avoiding eye contact. "My foster brother showed up at my apartment this morning. I haven't seen him in three years."

"Foster brother?"

"Yeah. After my parents died, I didn't have anywhere to go, so I ended up being shuffled around in foster care until I aged out."

I'd had no idea that he grew up in the system like that. I had so many questions, but I didn't want to push him because he already seemed worked up. Did both his parents pass away at the same time? What happened to them? How many foster homes had he been in? My mind was racing a million miles a minute. "What's your foster brother's name?"

"Ethan. He just turned twenty-three. He sorta disappeared right after his twentieth birthday, so I haven't seen him since."

"Oh wow. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just… curious? And confused. I thought… I didn't know if he was even alive, you know?" Kendall sighed and fidgeted in his seat. "He, um, uh. We, uh, protected each other when we were kids, even though he was younger than me. Sometimes I needed protection, sometimes he did. We were like each other's support system."

I didn't really know what to say about that. Hearing that Kendall needed someone to protect him wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear. I rubbed his arm. "Is he doing okay?"

Kendall nodded. "He looked good. Supposedly he's coming over for dinner on Monday to catch up." He finally looked over at me. "Do you think…" He bit his lip and I couldn't help but stare unblinkingly as I thought about what his lip would feel and taste like if I were the one biting it. _So not the time, James!_ He took a shuddered breath and released his lip. "Is there any way you could come to dinner, too?"

I blinked at him in surprise and shock. He really wanted me to have dinner with him and his brother? Didn't he have other friends he'd rather ask? _Maybe he really is over being weirdly embarrassed by me or whatever that was a few weeks ago? Maybe he really is my friend… at least for now._

When I hadn't said anything for a minute, Kendall huffed, leaned back in his seat and shrugged off my hand. "Never mind. It's fine. It was stupid to ask. I probably don't need backup." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window. I could see how upset he was, even though he wasn't looking at me.

"Kendall?" I said his name softly.

"Yeah?" He still wouldn't look at me.

"I was just surprised you asked me instead of one of your other friends. I'd love to be your backup."

He finally turned his head and searched my face. "I don't really have other friends. I mean, I have Dak and Dustin, but… I don't know. I guess it's just different with you." He chewed his cheek for a minute before he continued. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind coming?"

"Of course not." I gently pushed his shoulder and smiled. "Plus, it'll give me a good excuse to get out of Carlos and Logan's Monday night dinner thing they always try to push on me."

"Oh God, I forgot about that. Well, at least we won't run into them since we'll be at my house. They usually go to Timmy's for dinner, right?"

"Usually."

"I can't say the food will be better than that place, but I'm sure I can cook something decent." Kendall finally smiled the first real smile of the day that actually reached his eyes.

I smiled back. "We'll see. I'll be the quality tester for the night."

He chuckled.

Shane and Emily made it to the car and climbed in the back. Kendall and I greeted Emily, then I put the car back in gear, sent Kendall a small smile and headed out.

* * *

 **Done! So, we got a couple of new characters introduced this chapter! Well, technically only one was introduced, the other was mentioned. We also got a bit of Kendall digging into James' past a little bit along with the reveal that Kendall has a foster brother, who will officially be introduced soon!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter will be up this weekend, so you won't have to wait too long for that.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I was quiet for most of the drive to the stadium.

Emily chatted away in the back seat, with Shane and James answering her now and then. But I couldn't help but think over my conversation with James. I couldn't believe I told him about my parents and growing up in foster care. It wasn't as if I hid it, but it also wasn't something I ever really talked about. I also couldn't believe I asked James to come over for dinner with Ethan. _He must think I'm a clingy, friendless weirdo now._

When James parked in a garage, he grinned at me before making a move to get out. "You ready?"

"Yep." I said, smiling back. Despite what I'd told him and the weird dinner invitation, he still seemed happy, so I'd take it. Maybe he was already accustomed to my extra special brand of weirdo.

We hopped out and Shane and Emily led the way, holding hands in front of us. James walked beside me and shoulder-bumped me. "Keep an eye out for something weird and gross to buy."

I laughed despite myself and something inside of me settled. I needed to forget everything and just focus on having fun today. I could worry about Ethan and that dinner later. For now, I needed to enjoy myself. I was hanging out with a fun guy that I really liked. As a friend, obviously. _People check out their hot friends all the time, right? 'Cause James looks really hot in his ass-hugging jeans._

Ugh, I really needed to stop it. So what if he was hot? Get over it. Unfortunately, the fact that he was such a good guy was only making me want to check him out more. _I'm hopeless._ I ignored my inner crazy person and checked out all the vendors outside the stadium.

By the we entered the stadium, I had four hotdogs, a bag of peanuts, fried pickles, a cheeseburger, fries, and a strange-looking sausage thing. James thought I was crazy, but he didn't realize that I was making him share with me. Luckily, Emily had brought a small bag and filled it with water bottles. But James and I carried all my food in, and fortunately, it was all wrapped up in aluminum foil or paper bags, so it was easy to carry. I was surprised that we were even allowed to bring in outside food and drinks, but apparently, we were.

James told me that we wouldn't have been allowed to if we were going to a football game instead of baseball. I told him it was a good thing he brought me to a baseball game and not a football game, then.

Once we were in our seats, Shane leaned past his girlfriend towards us. "Damn, Jay, these are nice seats."

James just shrugged his shoulders.

"Thanks for bringing us with you." Shane held his fist out, so James bumped it before Shane said something to Emily that I couldn't hear.

I leaned toward James and asked, "What's so good about them? Because they're close?" We were pretty close to the ground and not way up in the upper parts of the stadium. We were also near home plate, or like, right behind it, so maybe that was why.

James smirked at me. "You seriously haven't been to a game here?"

I shook my head.

"You going to be able to follow along with the game?"

I pushed his shoulder. "Shut up, jerk. I'm not a moron. See if I share my food with you now."

"Oh wow, you were going to share? You really do like me."

I snorted and pushed his shoulder again, then grabbed one of the hotdogs and passed it to him. "Here, don't say I never gave you anything."

He smiled, took the hotdog, then unwrapped it. He looked at me with raised eyebrows. "You remembered what I like on my hotdog?"

"Dude, it's literally just ketchup. It's like the easiest thing to remember." I waved him off and unwrapped my hotdog.

After I took a bite, I noticed James staring at me with a weird look on his face. "Ew, did you put mayo on yours too?"

I nodded and swallowed my bite. "And ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, and that weird sauce they had that no one would tell me what it was."

"You are so gross."

I shrugged. "It's good." I took another bite.

XxX

"Oh my jod, you have to try one of these." I said as I threw my fifth jalapeno popper, which I'd bought on our way back from my last bathroom break, into my mouth. "They're so damn good. Here, try one." I chewed my own as I lifted one to James' mouth, but he pressed his lips together and pushed my hand away. I swallowed my bite. "Aww, come on. Just try it." I tried to force the jalapeno popper into his mouth, rubbing it against his lips as he fought a smile.

He pushed my arm and laughed. "Would you stop? I don't want one."

"But they're sooooooo good. Come oonnnn. Just try it!"

"Oh my god, Kendall. Stop." He tried to sound demanding, but he ended up laughing.

I stuck out my bottom lip. "Please? Try it for me?" I threw it in my mouth, then grabbed another to hold out to him. _Damn, these are hot._

"I don't want one." He shook his head and tried, but failed, to hide his smile.

"Please?" I started bouncing in my seat as the spicy flavor made my tongue feel like it was on fire. But they were so tasty, I threw another one in my mouth. I grabbed yet another and tried to force it past James' lips because he started laughing again, but he held my arm out of the way.

"Stop, or I'm not letting you eat anything else for the rest of the game." James said as I bounced even faster in my seat. James furrowed his brow. "Dude, are you crying? I was kidding. I'm not crazy enough to withhold food from you."

My mouth felt like I'd eaten lava, and the lava somehow exploded into something even hotter, all over my tongue, burning every freaking millimeter. But I didn't want James to know, so I didn't say anything. Like a dumbass, I just let him believe I was crying over food, rather than over my burning mouth. Pretty soon smoke would be coming out of my ears and nose. Holy fuck.

"Seriously, Kendall, I was just joking." James was staring at me with concern, so I tried to wave him off without giving anything away. All that did was make him frown. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head and started bouncing my knee really fast.

"Kendall, are you okay? You're sweating."

 _Fuck._

"Kendall?"

 _Oh, fuck it._ I let out a huge gasp and reached across James' lap to grab his water bottle out of his cup holder, then chugged half of it down. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, panting like a dog, because it didn't seem like the water had helped my tongue any. At. All. I wiped my eyes with a napkin, then took another sip of water before I realized James was cracking up laughing at me.

I pushed his shoulder and spoke with my tongue still out. "Ath-ho."

"What was that? I couldn't understand you with your tongue like that." The smug asshole said.

"Thut upa." I pushed him again.

That just made him laugh even harder, so hard that tears started running down his cheeks. I glared at him, then took another sip of his water and attempted to put my tongue back in my mouth.

"Having some trouble there, Little Jalapeno?"

I looked sharply at him. "What did you just call me?"

He shot me a huge smile. "As your best friend, I get to pick a nickname. Pretty sure you just earned yours, Little Jalapeno."

I glared. "I'm not 'Little' anything, asshat."

"You're smaller than me, and younger, for that matter, so yeah, you are _little_." He reached out and poked my cheek.

I smacked his hand away. "First, I'm barely smaller than you. Second, that's a horrible nickname. Change it. Take it back. Pick something else."

"Sorry, no can do. Once a nickname has been given, there's no take backs." He shrugged and in mock-seriousness said, "It's in the Best Friends Handbook. I don't make the rules."

I snorted at that. "Yes, you do." I stuck my tongue out at him, then all the people around us stood up and started cheering. I looked at James. "What happened?"

"I don't know, I was talking to you."

I sighed dramatically, then said over the crowd, "You're absolutely no help, Cupcake." I smirked at his horrified facial expression. I knew thinking of the most ridiculous, cutesy nickname would get him. "Hey, it's in the Best Friends Handbook. You are now, and forevermore, known as Cupcake."

He glared.

I smiled sweetly at him. "You are _so_ regretting your rule right now."

He tried to glare further, but he ended up chuckling. "Whatever."

I nudged him with my shoulder. "I win."

"Didn't know it was a competition."

"Doesn't matter, I still win, Cupcake."

"Whatever, Little Jalapeno."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Jerk. He probably deserved a few points… he _had_ made me laugh. A lot. Ugh. Jerkface.

I eyed him and his handsome, drop-dead gorgeous face. And his sexy body. He smiled at me, looking completely at ease and unlike the normal stoic jerkface James that I'd always seen before I'd gotten to know him. He's always seemed so distant and unapproachable. But seeing him now, carefree and having fun, joking around and being ridiculous with me was like seeing a completely different person. I'd misjudged him so badly. I'd let everyone else's judgements and assumptions cloud my own. I'd thought he was such a jerk.

And I'd never been so happy to be wrong in my life.

This person I was with right now was sweet, kind, caring, generous, reliable, and funny. If I hadn't gotten over myself, I may never have known him.

And maybe we'd been joking around, saying we were best friends, but he was truly becoming one of the best friends I'd ever had. We hadn't really been friends for long and he was already closer to me than anyone else.

He seemed to get me in a way that no one else did. That probably made me a little pathetic, but I didn't care about that. I only cared that James was a good guy, a good friend. And I planned on keeping him. I hadn't had this much fun with someone else in years. Not even with any of the guys I'd dated in the past couple years.

"You okay, Jalapeno?" James nudged my shoulder with his, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I shot him a smile. "I'm really good." I looked out at the baseball game, though I hadn't paid much attention for the past half hour, then I looked back at James. "Thanks for bringing me with you, Cupcake. This is really fun."

He chuckled and shook his head at the nickname. "No problem." He shoulder-bumped me. "I'm expecting you to pay me back, though." I could tell he didn't mean pay him back for the tickets or anything.

"Oh yeah? With what?"

"Figure out something for us to do next Saturday, if you're off again."

"Oh, I can do that."

He eyed me for a moment. "You're gonna think of something weird and gross to do, aren't you?"

"I can't share my secrets with you." I said, looking forward, but unable to hide my grin. "But yeah, probably."

"Lovely."

I laughed at that.

* * *

When I was closing my last file so I could head home to get ready for dinner at Kendall's, I got a picture text from him. It was a pan, but the contents were completely burned to a crisp, so I sent a text back.

 _Me: What the hell is that?_

Almost immediately, he responded.

 _Kendall: It was supposed to be veggies for this soup I know Ethan loves...Help!_

I frowned for a minute, then responded as I left my office.

 _Me: I'll be right over. Leaving work now._

I pocketed my phone, waved to Carlos and Logan, then headed to the elevator to leave. As much as I wanted to go home and change, I figured Kendall would appreciate my help more, so I headed straight there after making a quick detour at the liquor store for two bottles of wine.

When I knocked on his door and he answered, he froze and blinked at me. "You really came."

"You asked for help."

"I know, I just…" He trailed off, then seemed to shake off his surprise and moved aside to let me in. After he shut his door, he said, "I think I'm just gonna order pizza."

I looked at my phone to check the time. "We still have over an hour before he gets here. Let me see what you have."

Kendall sighed, but led me into the kitchen. "I sorta gave up after I burnt everything."

I looked through his pantry and fridge and found enough ingredients to make a good stir fry, so I got to work.

Kendall was leaning against the counter watching me. "What are you doing?"

"Saving your ass."

"I'm the one that's supposed to cook for you."

"I like cooking, and this way your brother still gets a home cooked meal." I shrugged.

"Can I at least help?"

"It's your kitchen."

"Tell me what to do, asshat." He huffed.

I grinned at him. "Start slicing the veggies while I mix the sauce."

He gave me a mock salute and walked over to the pile of vegetables I set on the counter. After a minute, he said, "Thank you."

"It's no big deal."

He mumbled something under his breath that I didn't catch.

"What was that?"

He glanced at me with wide eyes. "Nothing." He said a little too quickly.

I snorted. "Uh-huh. 'Nothing.'"

"So, uh, Ethan is… a lot to take in." He randomly said a few minutes later.

"What does that mean?"

"He had ADHD, so sometimes it's hard to follow him because it seems like his mind is going a million miles a minute. He's like a little bundle of energy."

Kendall seemed nervous or anxious. I didn't know if it was because he was waiting for my reaction to that or because his brother would be here soon. "Okay." I simply said before scooting closer to him and elbowing his ribs. "You know it's going to be okay, right?"

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I know. It's just… he literally disappeared three years ago, and I had no idea if he was even alive or not. The police never found him, if they even tried, so it's just…" He sighed and washed his hands, then turned to me as I threw the veggies in the pan. "What if he doesn't show up? I'm afraid to get my hopes up."

He rendered me speechless for a moment. "So obviously, I can't say for sure that he'll show up since I don't even know him, but I highly doubt he would've come here after so long, then just stand you up today. _But_...if he doesn't come, then… I guess you and I will have a nice dinner, we'll watch a movie together, and if you want to go searching for him or call the police or something, I'll help you out. We'll figure it out, okay?"

"You'd really be willing to help me with all of that?"

I set the spatula down and leaned against the counter beside him, pressing my shoulder against his. "Of course. I'll help you any way I can." I said, shoulder-bumping him before moving back over to the stove. I didn't know why, but in that moment, I felt like I would help Kendall with anything, like I _wanted_ to help him.

Being around him made me feel lighter in a way I hadn't felt since I was a kid. I finally felt like I could trust him a little, at least enough to know he wouldn't pull the same crap as before. He seemed to like spending time with me just as much as I liked spending time with him. I wanted to help him any way I could, and I felt like he'd do the same for me if the roles were reversed.

"Hey." I said a minute later. "Can you watch this for a minute so I can run to the bathroom?"

"Sure." Kendall nodded before taking the spoon from me with a smile.

I grinned back before making my way to the bathroom. After taking care of business in there, I headed back out toward the kitchen, but something on the couch caught my eye, so I walked over there instead. There was something pink sticking out from behind a throw pillow, so I grabbed it, then wrinkled my nose. "Uh, Kendall?"

"Yeah?" He yelled from the kitchen.

"Did you have a girl over or something?"

"What?" He yelled, then popped his head out the kitchen door and started laughing. "No, those are mine." He went back into the kitchen without further explanation.

I stared at the lacey pink thing in my hand, trying to gauge whether he was being truthful or not. After a few seconds, I decided I could totally see him walking around in lacy pink underwear, but I still yelled, "Are these really yours? And should I be scared that I'm touching them?"

I heard him laugh again before he poked his head out. "Do you really think I'd have a pair of girl's underwear on my couch? I mean, really?" He chuckled and shook his head. "They must've fallen out of my basket when I was folding laundry last night. I usually watch TV while I fold."

"So they're clean?"

"Yep."

"And you like wearing girls underwear?"

He scowled at me. "They're not 'girls' anything. They're mine and I like the way they feel on my skin. They make me feel sexy." He suddenly pulled his shirt up a little, showing off his stomach, for some unknown reason-not that I was complaining because _hello smooth, silky skin_ -then he pushed the hem of his jeans down showing the top of light blue lacy underwear.

 _Holy shit._

I never before thought I'd think that was hot, but there was no denying the fact that my cock twitched, and my body heated up at the thought of Kendall pulling his pants all the way down. I was going to have dreams about that blue lace, about Kendall _in_ that blue lace.

"James?"

I snapped my attention back to his face when he called my name. "Huh?"

He gave me a weird look before fixing his pants and shirt. "Can you throw those in my bedroom?"

"Uh, sure." I said, walking away and wishing I could stuff them in my pocket without him noticing.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me? Kendall is my friend. Friends don't picture their friends wearing nothing but lace underwear. Friends don't picture their friends naked. Friends don't lust after their friends. And friends don't give a shit what kind of underwear their friends wear, even if it happens to be sexy. Get it together, man._

I hesitantly walked into the bedroom, and paused to take it all in. There were clothes on every surface of furniture in there, and all over the floor, too. His closet door was open with clothes hanging out, and his bed, nightstand, and dressers were completely covered. It was such a stark contrast to the rest of his apartment that I stood in shock for a minute.

Finally, I cleared my throat before yelling, "Where exactly do you want these?"

"Uh, just throw them on my bed!" He yelled back.

I took a step into the room, then paused and looked down. I couldn't make it to the bed without stepping on clothes, so I rolled the underwear into a ball and chucked it onto the bed, then exited the room, pulling the door shut behind me. "Did someone break into your room?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"What?"

"Your room, it's a disaster. It looks like someone broke in and searched the place or a tornado went off in there or something."

Kendall frowned at me. "It's just a little messy."

"A _little_?" My eyes went wide in disbelief.

He scowled before turning back to the stove. "I couldn't find anything to wear. So sue me for not being perfectly clean like you."

"Dude, I think you have more clothes on your bed alone than I have in my entire apartment, counting Shane's clothes, too."

"You just don't get it." He sighed.

"Clearly."

"Don't be mean. You're supposed to be my best friend."

That made me smile a little. "Yeah, well. I didn't know I was signing on to be the best friend of a slob when I signed the contract."

"You're such an ass." He tried to sound mad, but he couldn't hide the laugh that came out.

"Well, you knew I was an ass before you signed the contract. And you should've read the fine print."

He chuckled and turned to me, holding up the stirring spoon. "You better watch it, I have easy access to food."

"If you get food on my suit, I'm sure you have something in that monstrosity of a bedroom that I could change into. Take your best shot."

Without hesitation, he flicked the spoon in my direction, but I saw it coming, so I hopped out of the way, laughing. He held up the spoon again, and I lifted my hands in surrender. "Don't do it. I won't fit into your clothes."

"Liar. Besides, you shoulda thought of that before you challenged me." He stepped closer to me with the spoon still raised.

"Don't." I said with a laugh.

"You'll just have to have dinner in your underwear, that'd be a shame." He ran his eyes up and down my body, making me shiver at his scrutiny. When his eyes flicked back up to mine, I thought I saw them filled with heat, but he blinked and it was gone, so I could've been imagining it. He grinned and took another step toward me.

"Kendall." I pleaded.

He took another step and my eyes widened in terror. _He's going to smear food all over me._ But he burst into laughter instead. "Oh my god. Chill out, I'm not going to." He wiped his eyes as he snickered. "You should've seen your face."

"Very funny." I tried to sound annoyed, but I ended up laughing with him. "Come on, you're gonna burn dinner."

He huffed, then went back to stirring the food. "It's almost done. I hope he gets here soon."

"Me too." I smiled, then grabbed the spoon from him and hip checked him out of the way. "Let me finish. Go open the wine I brought."

"Fine." He hip checked me back before walking to the fridge. "Thanks for bringing this, by the way. I have one bottle, but I have a feeling that won't be enough."

"Why are you so nervous?"

He took a deep breath as he used the corkscrew to open the wine. "I just… I don't know why he left, and I sorta feel like it's my fault he disappeared."

"Why would that be your fault?" I turned and leaned against the counter so I could watch him.

"We had a fight right before he disappeared, and I thought… I thought he did something stupid." He poured the wine into two glasses and passed me one, then looked into my eyes and I could see the pain in his. "I thought he… I was worried he killed himself or got himself killed. It took me a long time, but I eventually came to terms with never seeing him again, you know? So having him stop by the other day felt like I was seeing a ghost." He sipped his wine. "I'm worried that he won't show up or that he'll disappear again."

He looked completely frazzled, nervous, and unsure. I hated seeing him like that. Normally, he was so happy and sure of himself. I hated that he felt so insecure. When he looked into my eyes again, I knew I had to do something to make him feel better, so I turned off the burner, set my glass down, grabbed his glass and set it down, then stepped close to him.

He looked up at me with a question in his gaze I didn't have the answer to. I had no idea what I was doing, I only knew that I wanted to comfort him. So I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in. He was stiff and tense for a moment, but after I gave him a squeeze, he relaxed into me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. I put my cheek on his hair and whispered, "It'll be okay."

He nodded against me, but didn't say anything. Instead, he moved his feet closer to me and held me tighter. I gently rubbed his back and took a few deep breaths, holding him just as tight. It felt… good having him in my arms. I couldn't even remember the last time I _really_ hugged someone. I took another deep breath, inhaling his apple-y scent. The longer we hugged, the better it felt, and the more I didn't want it to end.

After a long time, he leaned back a little, but didn't let go of me. When I saw his tear-streaked cheeks, I frowned and let go of his back to wipe the tears with my thumbs, but that only seemed to make him cry harder. He laughed embarrassedly and went to pull away, but I didn't let him. I pulled him back in and squeezed him tight.

He shifted a little, but only to tighten his hold on me, so I held him more firmly against me and moved my cheek against his hair a little. When the apple smell hit my nose again, I couldn't help but whisper out, "Do you use fruity shampoo?"

He laughed a little hoarsely. "Yeah, apple."

I smiled at that and took a deep breath.

He laughed again. "Did you just smell me?"

"Yep."

He snorted, then leaned back a little to look at me without letting go. "You starting to make a habit of that?"

I shrugged a shoulder, understanding that he was referring to that first time we'd hung out, and I'd smelled him on purpose. "You smell good."

He smirked, then leaned his forehead onto my chest and whispered, "Thank you."

I almost made a smart-ass comment, but I knew he wasn't thanking me for telling him he smelled good, he was thanking me for helping and being there for him. So I pulled him tight against me again and whispered, "Anytime, Little Jalapeno Popper."

"You're too good to me, Cupcake." He chuckled.

I grinned at that, but before I could respond, there was a knock at the door.

Kendall took a deep breath, then pulled back and smiled a little at me. "I guess he's here."

He stepped back completely and I had to take a deep breath to compose myself at the loss of him against my body. _God, what's wrong with me lately?_ A little voice inside my head kept screaming _You're lonely! You're lonely! You're lonely!_ But I didn't want to acknowledge it.

"Do I look okay?" Kendall asked.

I reached up and wiped a couple of stray tears away with my thumb. I pretended not to notice the small gasp that fell out of his lips. I also pretended that I didn't lick my own lips in response before I whispered, "You're perfect."

* * *

 **Done! So, this was pretty much one big adorable Kames-fest. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part!**

 **The next chapter will be the dinner with Ethan, and it will more than likely be up tomorrow! If not tomorrow, then it'll be up either Tuesday or Wednesday! :)**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Yet another new chapter is here!**

 **Before we get into that, though, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I'd also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, annabellex2, Guest, Side1ways, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you al enjoy!**

* * *

 _You're perfect._

I ran the words through my head a million times as I slowly made my way to the door. I knew he was just referring to the way I looked after he wiped away and tears that may have fallen, but the words somehow penetrated my soul and warmed me up from the inside out. _You're perfect._ No one had ever said anything like that to me, let alone a guy as gorgeous and sweet as James.

When I found myself standing in front of the door and there was another knock, I took a deep breath and opened it to reveal a nervous looking Ethan. The kid I never thought I'd see again, the kid that had run away and left me worried sick, the kid that I thought had been lost in a gutter somewhere. The kid that I'd missed for three long years.

"Hey, Ethan." I said quietly.

He smiled widely at me, then walked in and engulfed me in a tight hug. After a split second, I hugged him back and found myself fighting back tears. Fuck. I really hadn't thought I'd ever seen him again. "You're really here." I whispered.

Ethan nodded against my shoulder and gave me a tight squeeze before pulling away and looking at me. "You look good, Ken." He said with a bounce of his knees. Ethan was always bouncing or twitching. It was like he had so much energy bundled up inside himself that he couldn't contain it all.

I smiled. "So do you, ER." And he did. Maybe a little on the skinny side, but he'd always been skinny. His hair was a little darker than mine, but still in the blond range, and his grayish-blue eyes were shining with emotion. But he looked good. And he was here.

Ethan shook his head at my use of his childhood nickname, then he smiled a little before his attention was drawn over my shoulder. I moved over and pointed to James. "ER, this is James. James, this is my brother, Ethan."

Ethan turned sharply to me and looked at me in surprise. I just smiled at him. He was my foster brother, and growing up, I'd always made it a point of saying _foster_ brother because I'd been an asshole as a teen. I was still a jerk, but calling him my _brother_ felt like the right thing to do. He was the only person that ever felt like family to me after my parents died.

James held out his hand and Ethan shook it as James said, "It's nice to meet you."

"You too."

"Did you just call him ER a minute ago?" James asked as he looked over at me.

Ethan groaned and I chukled before responding. "Yep."

"Do I even want to know why?"

"No, you really don't." Ethan said at the same time as I said, "Definitely."

I laughed and pushed Ethan into the apartment a little. "When ER was, like, thirteen, he fell into the coffee table and cut his forehead." I reached over and poked Ethan where his scar still remained, and he smacked my hand away as he bounced his knees. "I went with him and our foster mother to the emergency room, and I got a look at his chart. His middle name is Reid, and I thought it was funny that we were in the ER when his first two initials are ER. And he _hated_ it."

"So naturally, Kendall started calling me ER just to piss me off." Ethan added.

James grinned. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"Watch it or I'll come up with something worse than 'Cupcake.'" I said with a laugh at James.

James squinted his eyes at me. "I'm not sure there's much worse, but if there is, I'm sure you'd be the one to find it."

I laughed at that before looking over at Ethan. "You want a glass of wine?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks."

"I'll get it." James said before walking into the kitchen.

I ushered Ethan into living room, and he eyed me as we walked. "What?"

"Your boyfriend seems really nice." He said.

"James is _not_ my boyfriend." I laughed.

Ethan lifted a brow. "You sure about that?"

"I think I'd know if he was." We sat on the couch. "He's my friend."

"If you say so."

James came out and passed Ethan a glass of wine, then looked at me. "Do you want me to heat up the food now? I turned off the burner before so it's probably cold."

"Oh, I can do that." I started to get up.

He put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. "You hang out with your brother. I don't mind." He walked back into the kitchen without waiting for a response. _I think he officially has all the points. All of them. He's been so sweet since he got here._

"You sure he's not your boyfriend?" Ethan asked as soon as James was out of earshot.

"He's just my friend."

Ethan shrugged and sipped his wine as his leg started bouncing up and down. "Whatever, dude. Are you still a photographer?"

"Yep."

"Same place as before? I know you said you liked it there when you started. Oh, and that guy, what's his name? Dave? Drew? Dean?"

"Dak."

"Oh! That's right. Dak. Yeah, you liked him. Did you ever hit that?"

I cringed at that. "Ew, no. Dak is just a friend."

"I thought you liked him. I remembered you talked about him nonstop, like, all the freaking time, and you used to-"

"He's my friend and he's married. Jesus, take it down a notch."

"What?" His leg continued its crazy bouncing, and he started picking at his sleeve. "Fine. Where do you work now?"

"Flash Studios. It's the same place. And yes, with Dak. It's his studio."

"You do any weddings this weekend?"

"I did one yesterday and one on Friday."

"Nothing on Saturday? I thought Saturdays were the busiest. Or was that just an excuse to get out of doing things with me back in the day? I know I asked you a bunch of times to come out and you never could. Or so you said."

"Dak and his husband worked a Saturday wedding and another employee did the other one."

"Oh, gotcha. So what'd you do on Saturday after I left? I know you said you were leaving, but you didn't tell me where you were going. Though, you were covered in orange. Did you go to some weird orange-themed party? I know your favorite color isn't orange. Or at least it wasn't when you were a kid. Did that change? Do you have a new fav? You looked all done up to go out. Where did you go? Somewhere weird, I bet. Orange can represent fire, ya know? It's supposed to be a happy color or something but it-"

"I went to the baseball game." I said, cutting him off again. If I didn't interrupt him, there was no telling how long he'd go on about the color orange. I swear he was the king of random facts. Always had been. He'd always been such an intelligent guy, I never understood how he did so badly in school. I kinda thought his teachers just got sick of dealing with him and that maybe he'd been bored in his classes.

"Dude, since when do you like baseball?"

"Since Saturday when James took me."

"Your non-boyfriend took you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. He took me and got me drunk enough that I actually enjoyed watching a sport for once in my life."

"If I would've known that was all it took, I would've done that in high school."

I snorted and glanced into the kitchen. From my vantage point, I could see James standing at the stove stirring. I smiled at the sight before looked at my brother, who was smirking as he stared at me. "Not your boyfriend, my ass. You like him."

"He's my friend, ER." I huffed.

"Maybe, but you wish it was more."

"Not true."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"ER, stop."

"Nope." He said, popping the _P_. "Kendall looooooovvvves Ja-"

"Ethan! Stop!" He started cracking up, so I pushed his shoulder and muttered, "Jerk." He was still so much the little annoying kid I knew and loved.

He laughed, then drained his wine and set the glass on the table.

I followed suit, then asked the question that had been burning in the back of my mind since Saturday. I cleared my throat, then quietly asked, "Where have you been, Ethan? What happened to you three years ago?"

He blew out a breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, then leaned his elbows on his knees, finally stilling his leg. He picked at the edge of the coffee table and looked at me. "Do you remember that girl I was…hanging out with? Katherine?"

"Yeah, of course." It didn't take much to remember his friend that always hated me just as much as I hated her. She was bad news and I'd hated that my little brother was hanging out with her.

"She… she convinced me to run away with her up to New York. She had a couple of friends up there that said we could stay with them, so we did."

"You've been in New York all this time?"

He shrugged. "More or less."

 _What the actual fuck!_ I clenched my teeth together, then stood and started pacing my living room as I gathered my thoughts together. When I finally felt like I could speak without screaming at him, I turned to him.

"And you thought that, what? I'd try to stop you? Or I'd kidnap you and bring you back home? I mean, why exactly didn't you tell me where you were, Ethan? I thought you were dead!" Okay, so maybe I hadn't waited long enough. I was totally yelling. "You disappeared right after we had that stupid fight! I thought you ran away and got yourself killed because of me! Or that you'd… hurt yourself. _Because of me_ , Ethan! I thought you were dead. I thought my brother was _dead_."

He stood up and walked toward me with his hands out in front of him, looking like he was approaching a wild animal that he thought would lash out at him. He wasn't too far off. I felt like I was going to explode. "I know. I'm so sorry." He said softly.

"That's not good enough. I thought my little brother was dead!"

"I know, Kendall." His voice was soft and his eyes were pleading. "I _never_ meant to do that to you. I was a stupid kid that didn't understand how his actions would affect you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Why didn-" My voice cracked and I realized with a start that I was crying. "Why didn't you contact me? You can't tell me that you didn't think about it all this time."

"I was scared that you hated me after what I did to you."

"I could never hate you."

"I know… I'm so sorry."

I nodded and angrily wiped my cheeks and eyes. "You should've called me or texted me or something. At least sent me a letter in the fucking mail so I'd know you were okay. I've… I fucking searched for you for over a year, ER, before the police finally convinced me that you were gone. I tried…" I wiped my cheeks again as fresh tears poured out. "I didn't want to believe you were gone, but I thought… I thought that you would've called if you were still alive."

I wiped my eyes again and decided not to tell him that even after the police gave up, I kept searching, and that I never really stopped searching. I looked for clues on social media, newspapers, anywhere I could think of. I whispered, "I never stopped hoping even though a large part of me thought I'd never see you again."

Ethan suddenly moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened in surprise for a moment before closing my eyes and hugging him back for a long time. I cried on his shoulder until I finally felt like I could stop the stupid tears. When I opened my eyes and released him, I saw that Ethan's eyes were red-rimmed too.

He shot me a hesitant smile and said softly, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

I nodded, then turned to see James standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, obviously trying to give us some space. I grabbed Ethan and I's glasses off the table and walked into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about that." I said to James.

He waved me away. "You don't have to apologize. Are you okay?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't know… but I'm really glad he's here."

He half-smiled, then walked over and surprised me by giving me a sorta half-hug. He surprised me further by pressing a soft, barely-there kiss on my temple. I leaned into him for a few seconds and he rubbed my arm.

"Do you want me to leave so you can spend time with your brother?" He asked softly.

I smiled at him. "Please stay. I… could use the support."

"Okay." He kissed my temple again, this time a little harder, before releasing me completely. "Do you want to eat dinner now or wait a bit?"

"Now would be good. I haven't eaten much today, and I'm about to chug this wine."

He huffed out a small laugh. "Okay, well, it's done."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Little Jalapeno."

"Don't start, Cupcake."

He shot me a smile.

"Will you help me carry it to the table?"

"Yep."

"Thanks." I said before yelling toward the hallway, "Let's eat dinner. I'm fucking starving."

"Let me help, too." Ethan said, walking straight into the kitchen and grabbing a dish.

Dinner went surprisingly well. I wanted to know more details about what Ethan did in the three years he'd been gone, but every time I brought it up, he steered the conversation in a different direction. I didn't want to push him away, so I stopped asking and we ended up telling James about some of the things we'd gotten up to when we were teenagers.

I hadn't forgiven Ethan completely, it would take a little while for me to forgive and trust him again, but I was hoping that this was the start of rebuilding our relationship. As long as he didn't disappear on me again.

* * *

 **Done! So there you have it! Ethan is officially introduced!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I'm not exactly sure when the next chapter will be up just yet, but you won't have to wait too long for it. It'll for sure be up by this weekend at least.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Of course, before we get into it, I wold like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I sat down for lunch at the cafe with Logan, Carlos, and Camille. After taking a bite of my sandwich, I asked, "Loges, you said you guys had something to talk to us about?" I waved between myself and Camille.

Logan and Carlos sobered and shared a look before Logan took out his phone and passed it to me. Camille and I looked at the screen, seeing a picture of a little baby girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes, wearing pink pajamas. When I looked at Logan, he was smiling.

"Am I supposed to know whose baby this is?" I asked when neither of them said anything.

"I ran into our social worker that helped us finalize the boys' adoptions." Logan told me excitedly. "She seemed really upset, so we got to talking while waiting at the deli. Turns out, she was having trouble finding a home for this little girl because she has some health problems. Her name's Amelia, she's almost eight months old… and we're going to adopt her."

My eyes widened at him. I mean, they were wonderful parents to Sammy and Jacob, but I had no idea they wanted another kid. Camille spoke before I had a chance to. "That's wonderful, guys! When will she be coming home to you?"

"In a few weeks or less, ideally. We have to do a bunch of paperwork and stuff. We're going to foster her until we can get the adoption finalized. She's in a temporary foster home right now, so our social worker is trying to push the paperwork through to get us custody as soon as possible."

"Have you guys met her yet?" I asked.

"We visited her over the weekend, then took the boys to meet her last night. All four of us talked about it after they met her, and we agreed that we want her as part of our family. The kids are excited to have a little sister. And she's such a sweetheart." Carlos answered with a goofy expression on his face, and I figured that their little girl already had him wrapped around her fingers.

I sat back and stared at them for a minute. Camille and Carlos started talking a million miles per second together, but Logan just sat back, waiting for me to process the new information. I was shocked, to say the least, but I knew my friends were wonderful parents, and they'd make this little girl's life better than anyone else could. Eventually, I asked, "What health problems does she have?"

Carlos looked over at me. "She was born prematurely with fetal alcohol syndrome and also had surgery to remove part of her intestines." He looked at his husband. "What's the disease called, again?"

"She has necrotizing enterocolitis, or NEC, so there's a chance she could face problems in the future, but she's healthy for the moment." Logan said.

I nodded. "She had surgery already?" _Poor baby._

"She was in the NICU for the first four months of her life." Logan swallowed. "She didn't have anyone."

That news shot a sharp pain through my chest, thinking about that tiny baby being stuck in the hospital with no one there for her.

I watched as Carlos put his arm around his husband and kissed his cheek while whispering something I couldn't hear. I turned and looked at Camille, who shot me a small smile and patted my hand.

I cleared my throat and quietly said, "She's going to be so lucky to have you two as parents, and Sammy and Jake as brothers."

"Thank you, Jay." Logan smiled at me before he pulled out his phone and showed us pictures of Amelia meeting their boys last night. She was adorable, and I could tell that they were both completely enamored with her. It made me happy that they were so elated, even though I selfishly couldn't help but think that Logan would have even more on his plate, so I'd be the one standing on the sidelines.

Not that it mattered, they deserved every bit of happiness that I didn't, and that little girl deserved to be brought into such a terrific family. They would make each other very happy, and in the end, that was all that mattered. _And you have other friends now_. I pictured those green eyes, blond hair, and those bushy eyebrows.

When I got back to the office, I shot off a text to Kendall.

 _Me: Logan and Carlos just told me they're adopting a baby girl._

I started working again for a few minutes before my phone went off.

 _Kendall: I know. I think that's so awesome. I made Dak show me a pic. She's adorbs._

I smiled at that and wrote back.

 _Me: She is. Do you work this Sat?_

I opened up my laptop and sighed at the email waiting for me. This campaign was going to be the death of me. Every time I tweaked something per the customer's request, they found something else they hated. If I could reach through my computer and shake some sense into the asshole responsible, I would.

 _Kendall: Nope. Wanna do something?_

I smiled, happy that he wanted to hang out. He sent another text right away.

 _Kendall: Wait, I just remembered that I'm supposed to be planning something weird and disgusting to do._

I'd totally forgotten about that. _Shit._ I immediately frowned as I thought about what we could do. I was too exhausted to do anything crazy. This had been a rough work week.

 _Me: Do you care if we just watch a movie and relax? It's been a long week._

 _Kendall: It's only Tuesday._

 _Me: My point exactly._

 _Kendall: A movie sounds great._

I smiled and went back to work, suddenly, wishing like hell it was Saturday. I used to thrive on working five or six days a week, always looking forward to my work. But lately, all I wanted to do was hang out in my apartment… as long as Kendall could hang out with me. Or at his apartment where my brother wouldn't bother us. Honestly, I didn't care _where_ we hung out, I only cared about _who_ I was hanging out with.

I pictured Kendall's sad expression at dinner last night with his brother and frowned. He'd been so upset all night. When he'd started crying in the living room, it'd taken everything in me not to go out there to him and hold him until he felt better. I remember not being able to hear what they were saying and hating that I'd had to sit back feeling helpless to do anything. Hopefully, I could do something on Saturday that would make that sad, unsure expression disappear. He had a way of making me happier, so I could only pray that I could do the same for him.

I pulled my phone out and sent one more text.

 _Me: Start getting your snack list together. We're having an all-day marathon._

He texted me back right away.

 _Kendall: *Gasp* Be still my beating heart. SNACKS! Get ready for the best, most badass snack list in the history of snack lists._

I chuckled at that. I couldn't wait to see what ridiculous and gross things he came up with.

XxX

A couple weeks later, Kendall and I went over to Carlos and Logan's house to meet the baby. Logan had invited me and I'd asked if I could bring Kendall along since Saturdays had become our normal hang out days. I didn't want to miss one.

Once Carlos ushered us inside and hugged us, he led us into their living room where we found Logan holding a sleeping baby. Carlos went into the kitchen to get drinks and snacks or something while Kendall and I stood in front of Logan and baby Amelia.

Logan looked like he was in heaven when he smiled at us. "Hey, guys. She just fell asleep."

I moved closer and bent over to inspect the bundle. She was a little smaller than I'd expected-Logan had said she was on the small side for her age-and she looked like a baby doll with her eyes closed. Extremely cute.

Kendall stood beside me and looked the baby over before looking at Logan. "She's beautiful."

Logan's smile grew impossibly wider. "Thank you."

I hesitantly reached out and brushed my fingertip over her little hand. "She's really cute, Loges. Congratulations."

"Thanks." He nodded at the couch. "If you sit down, I can pass you your new niece."

My chest tightened a little when he said that and I nodded, then sat on the couch. Logan stood up and placed the little girl in my arms. She wiggled a little, but settled back down when I cooed and bounced her.

"She probably won't sleep for long. We're actually supposed to have her in the crib when she naps, but we've been holding her all week. I don't want to put her down." Logan said.

"It's okay to spoil her a little. She's only been home for what? A week?" Kendall responded.

"Not even. It'll be a week on Monday."

"Where are Sammy and Jacob?" I asked.

"They were being loud and crazy, so I made them go up to their rooms for a little while. They'll be down soon. I'm actually surprised they didn't run down when they heard the door."

I nodded. Usually Jacob was jumping all over me when I came in the door.

Kendall sat beside me on the couch before hesitantly looking to Logan. "Can I hold her after James?"

"Of course."

Kendall smiled, then grinned at me before leaning in to whisper to the baby. "You're gonna love your Uncle Cupcake."

I chuckled at that and nudged him with my knee. "If you get the kids to call me that, I'm going to kill you."

He laughed and nudged my knee with his own.

We spent a few hours with Carlos, Logan, and all three of their kids before going back to my place for a movie. It was a really good Saturday.

* * *

 _Me: I can't believe I ran out of orangutan._

I laughed when I saw what my phone autocorrected to.

 _Me: *Oregano. Stupid phone._

I grabbed my wallet and stuffed it in my pocket, then went back to searching for my keys.

 _Cupcake: Lol. When's the last time you bought some?_

I laughed when his name popped up as Cupcake. I'd changed it in my phone the other day just to drive him crazy, and he'd begged me to switch it back. Of course, I hadn't, so now I got a laugh every time his name popped up on my screen.

"Where the fuck are my keys?" I muttered to myself as I searched the living room and typed at the same time.

 _Me: Um… I don't even know how I had any to begin with. It was probably left in the cabinet by the last tenant._

 _Cupcake: Gross. How long have you lived there?_

 _Me: 5 rears._

When I reread my message, I almost choked on my own spit.

 _Me: *Years. 5 years._

 _Cupcake: Lol. That's nasty. You really used someone else's spices?_

 _Me: Probably._

I picked up the boots I'd worn to work and out of habit, turned one upside down. My keys fell to the floor with a loud bang. I really should start checking my shoes first. That wasn't the first time they'd wound up there. What the hell I'd been thinking when I threw them in my shoe, I'd never know. I grabbed my phone and sent another text.

 _Me: I gotta run to the store. I'm also out of olive oil._

 _Cupcake: Please tell me you remember buying that yourself?_

 _Me: I don't tell lies._

 _Cupcake: Seriously. Gross._

I chuckled on the way down to my car and my phone beeped again.

 _Cupcake: I gotta head to the store too. I'm leaving work now and stopping on my way home._

 _Me: Maybe I'll see you there?_

 _Cupcake: Maybe. ;)_

I stared at the winky-face James sent me for way longer than I'd like to admit, trying to decide what it meant. I mean, did friends wink at each other? I sighed. Yeah, probably. It wasn't like he'd winked at me in real life.

I jumped into my car with a sigh, then started it and made my way to the grocery store. I assumed that James was going to the same one we'd both gone to before, so I automatically headed that way.

After grabbing a cart, I went to the veggie area because it had a good view of one set of the doors. And I could probably stand to get a few fresh veggies, anyway. I slowly walked down each aisle, subtly checking the front doors every few seconds. When I came to the squash, I picked up a few to examine them and tried to decide whether I wanted to try cooking them or not.

Suddenly, I felt something hit my arm. I looked down and frowned at a grape on the floor. I looked up to find James standing there, smiling at me. After a small pause, he threw another grape at me.

"Dude. Not cool." I said.

"Chill out. No one cares." He chuckled.

"Pretty sure the store manager standing behind you does."

His eyes widened and he turned around, looking for the manager that wasn't there, and I started cracking up laughing. He turned back to look at me. "Very funny." He deadpanned.

"I thought so." I said with a smile. I glanced at his cart and didn't see anything in it. "You just get here?"

"Yeah, I got stuck in traffic."

"Really? This late?"

"There was an accident blocking two lanes on 695, so everything was backed up."

"That sucks."

"Yeah." He grabbed and bagged two squash, placed them in my cart, then bagged two more and put them in his. "I'll send you an easy recipe for these, if that's why you've been standing there, staring at them for ten minutes."

"I was not staring at them for ten minutes."

"I saw you through the window when I got out of my car."

"So you're spying on me now?"

"Yep." He smirked.

I sighed. "Well, if I had to have a secret agent following me around, at least you're good-looking. And helpful." I waved at my cart as he placed an onion in it.

He laughed. "Uh-huh. So what are you planning on cooking tonight?"

"I don't know. I might just make some ramen or something since it's so late and my stomach is practically eating itself already."

"You really eat that stuff?"

"It's delicious."

He wrinkled his nose. "If you say so."

"I do." I pushed my cart behind him as he walked down the next aisle. "What about you?"

"Maybe some pasta. I have some sauce leftover from the other night, and I don't want to be up all night cooking, so that'll be the easiest thing."

"That sauce you made from scratch?"

"Yep." He glanced at me for a moment, then asked, "Do you want to come over and try some? Shane's staying at his girlfriend's tonight, so I'll just be eating by myself. Plus, it'll save you from the terrible task of cooking ramen."

"No dissing ramen, dude." Without even thinking about it, I responded. "And, sure. If you're sure you want me to."

He shot me a smile that reached his eyes. "Yeah, I want you to. Do you have a lot you need to get?"

"Nah. I just need to grab the oregano and olive oil."

"Cool. Let's grab that and head out."

I nodded and pushed my cart, following behind him. When he'd said he was coming here too, I hadn't expected to actually get to hang out with him tonight. I thought we'd maybe chat for a little bit, then head our separate ways to shop. And now, here I was, following behind him as he threw shit I didn't need into my cart the whole way to the spice aisle.

When he grabbed two bottles of thousand island dressing and set them in my cart, I raised a brow in question to him. He shrugged in response and said, "You told me the other day you ran out, and you put that shit on everything." _Just on_ some _stuff._

"True. Grab another bottle."

He chuckled and threw in a third. "Ready, Little Jalapeno?"

I blinked at him for a moment, surprised he was still using that ridiculous nickname for me, before snorting out a laugh. "Sure thing, Cupcake."

He groaned, but couldn't hide the amusement in his eyes.

After checking out, following him back to his apartment and throwing my cold stuff in his fridge, I found myself sitting on his couch, eating the most delicious pasta ever and watching TV. Well, I was _supposed_ to be watching it. In truth, I kept getting distracted by the man on the other side of the couch.

Every time he laughed or said something about the show, I found myself watching him instead of the TV. He seemed so different when it was just the two of us. It was like he only let the outside world see a small piece of him. The small, controlled, aloof side, the guy that only cared about himself. He put that front on for everyone else. That was the side I'd seen for years. He distanced himself from everyone around him.

But now, when he was with me, he seemed more open, more free. He laughed and smiled more easily. He seemed to relax and almost forgot to put up that wall. He was himself around me. And it was absolutely gorgeous. I felt honored to get to see that side of him.

Before I left his place, he asked, "You're still coming over Saturday, right?"

I smiled at that. "Of course."

"Great." His smile lit up his face, and I couldn't help but pull him into a quick hug. Before he pulled away completely, I kissed his cheek. I smiled and waved as I walked out the door.

When I got home, I was surprised to find Ethan sitting on the steps in front of my apartment building. When I walked up to him, I couldn't help but notice how rumpled his appearance was.

"Hey, ER, wanna come up?"

"Yeah." He stood and tucked his hands in his pockets, but couldn't keep himself from fidgeting and bouncing his knees.

I walked us through the building to my apartment and as soon as we went in, I asked, "Did you eat dinner?"

He cringed a little, and I already knew the answer.

"I'll put in a frozen pizza. Give me a minute." I went into my kitchen and set up the pizza before walking into my living room where Ethan was sitting on my couch. I took him in, now that we were in the light, and he looked even worse than I'd initially thought. Not only were his clothes rumpled, they were dirty, and his hair was greasy.

And the fact that he wasn't really talking much was a sign that something was really off with him. I blew out a breath. "Hey, ER, where have you been staying?"

He cringed again and looked at the floor as he mumbled, "My car."

"Well, not anymore, you're not." He looked up at me with raised brows, but I just smiled before continuing. "I have a sofa bed." I pointed to the couch he was sitting on. "So you can sleep here. I also have a shower and some extra clothes and stuff, if you need any."

He stared at me for a long time. "I didn't come here for a handout."

"I know you didn't. But you're my brother, and I have the extra space, so why not take advantage of it? Plus, I'd love to be able to catch up with you some more. You've been away for too long."

He looked at the floor, pondering for so long that the timer buzzed for the pizza, so I got up to get that set. When I brought out a few slices on a plate and set it in front of him, he looked at me with a hesitant expression. "Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely." I said without hesitation.

He blew out a deep breath. "Thank you, Ken."

I leaned over and pushed his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, little bro." I pointed at the plate. "Eat up. There's more in the kitchen. Once you finish, I can set up the couch while you shower, but help yourself to whatever you want."

He stared at me for a few long, tense seconds before getting up and pulling me into a tight hug. I squeezed him back, even though I could tell he needed a shower. "I wish you would've said something sooner. You should've told me." I said when he let me go.

"I was embarrassed."

"We're family, ER, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

He shot me a small smile, then picked up his pizza and engulfed it.

* * *

 **Done! There you have it! Another K** **ames-fest with a hint of CarlosxLogan and another appearance from Ethan!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you haplened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved hearing your thoughts on Ethan, and am curious to see if your opions on him change moving forward. :)**

 **Next chapter will be up soon, hopefully. :P**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I wasn't planning on updating until this weekend, but here we are! :P**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, Guest, annabellex2, winterschild11, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

 _Four Months Later_

"You're coming with me to Sammy's birthday party, right?" I held the phone between my shoulder and ear as I got out of the car, heading into work.

"Did you seriously call me this early to ask me that? We have, like, a freaking month before that thing." Kendall said in his hoarse morning voice.

"You told me to call and make sure you were up." I walked into my building. This wasn't the first time I'd called to make sure he was awake over the past few months. He was so not a morning person.

"I didn't get home till after two this morning, and I had to eat something because I was starving. I think I laid down at, like, three-thirty, maybe four. I don't know." He yawned in my ear, which made me yawn in return. "Why did I tell you to call me at the crack of dawn?"

"It's almost nine o'clock, Jalapeno. You need to get ready for work."

"But it's Monday. I don't work today."

"You were supposed to have off, but that private school called last minute because their photographer flaked out. You have to go in."

He groaned. "Why?" He whined in my ear, but I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Are you awake enough that you won't fall back asleep as soon as I hang up?" I walked onto the elevator.

"Yes."

"No, you're not. Wake up. I'm almost to my office."

He groaned.

"You're such a baby in the morning. Get your ass up."

"Make me."

I snorted. "Okay, I just walked in, I gotta go. Get up so Jett doesn't kick your ass for being late."

He groaned again. "I don't like you very much."

"You'll like me more after coffee. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Mm." He huffed. "Jay?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling."

"Anytime, Little Jalapeno."

He huffed out a laugh. "I'll talk to you later, Cupcake."

I smiled as I hung up the phone and set my bag on top of my desk.

"Was that your boy toy?"

"I jumped at the sound of Carlos' voice and turned to face him. "What?"

"You two sound like an old married couple." He leaned against the door frame and stared at me before holding out the coffee he got for me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I gratefully accepted the coffee.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "I don't get you two."

I sighed and leaned against the desk. "He's my friend, 'Los. What's so hard to get?" I sipped my coffee and pretended that this conversation wasn't getting to me. _Kendall is my friend. End of discussion._

"You spend all of your time with him. When you're not with, you call and text, and there's no way you can deny that you're attracted to him."

"I think you're reading way too much into this. Is he attractive? Yes, obviously. Anyone with eyes can see that. That doesn't mean anything." I said before deciding to change the topic. "How's Amelia doing?"

Carlos smiled so big, it was like his whole body smiled with him. "She's doing great. You should come over for dinner this week. The kids would love to see you."

"Yeah, I haven't been around for a couple weeks. What night's good for you?"

"Maybe Wednesday. You wanna bring Kendall?"

I eyed him for a minute, then sighed before responding. "Only if you promise not to be weird and talk about this stupid couple theory you have about us."

For some reason that made him smirk. "Sure, that's fine."

I nodded. "Okay. I'll bring something for dessert."

"Cool. You ready for our meeting today?"

He and I were handling a campaign together that we'd been working on for weeks. The client was coming in today to finalize our ads. "Yeah, everything's set. You good on your end?"

"Yep." He grinned. "I'll see ya in a couple hours." He started to walk away.

"'Los?"

"Yeah?" He looked over his shoulder.

"Where's Logan? Is he okay?"

"Yep. He's staying home with Amelia today. He'll be in tomorrow 'cause Mom's watching her."

I nodded. "Alright, I'll see you later." He saluted me, then headed to his office.

I took my laptop out of my bag and got myself situated. It was weird not seeing Logan every weekday like I had for years. Once Amelia came into their lives, he started working from home several days a week, though Mrs. Garcia had decided to work part-time so she could stay with her granddaughter. I was really surprised when she made that decision, but she'd absolutely refused to let someone else watch Amelia. That little girl was beyond spoiled and so lucky to be loved as much as she was. She was such a sweet baby and so adorable.

I shook off my thoughts and settled in to get to work.

XxX

"Hey." Shane said as soon as I walked into my apartment.

"Hey. I'm surprised you're here tonight." I set my bag, wallet, and keys down, hung my suit jacket and toed off my shoes.

"Emily had rehearsal. You wanna order a pizza or something?"

I rolled my eyes at him as I loosened my tie. "You could just ask me to cook."

"What do you mean?"

"I know that you puposefully ask me that every time you're home before me so you don't feel bad about not cooking dinner. I'll make something. Don't worry about it."

Shane cringed a little and muttered, "I'm sorry."

I chuckled a little as I walked into the kitchen to get dinner started. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I have to be in at, like, six in the morning. It's the worst hours ever."

"Be grateful Dylan got you that job." I'd known Dylan since he was a kid, and he'd lived with me for a little while since he was having trouble at home with his family. So he did me a favor and got my little brother a job at The Chipped Mug since Dylan's boyfriend owned the place.

"Trust me, I am. I just hate waking up that early. I didn't even need to wake up this early for class."

"When school starts back up in September, you'll be all set, then."

"I worked with Stephanie today." He had a weird tone of voice when he said Dylan's friends name.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, she's… nice."

I popped my head out the kitchen door and stared at him. "You have a girlfriend."

His hazel eyes connected with mine. "All I said was that she's nice."

I pointed at him with the spoon in my hand. "Yeah, but I know you, and I know what that means."

"Dude, chill. I didn't mean anything by it."

"You're so full of shit. Why did you even bring her up?"

"Because we both know her."

"We both also know Dak and Kendall, but you didn't bring them up." I walked back into the kitchen.

"And Matty."

"What did you say?" I stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"We both know Matty, right? Something happened between the two of you."

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I know him. We…" I searched for the right words before continuing. "We're acquaintances." I cringed at that completely ridiculous statement. I'd seen the guy naked on more than one occasion, and we were friendly. But _friends_ was kind of pushing it since we hadn't really talked in months since I haven't seen him.

"Right. 'Acquaintances.' I don't buy that for a minute."

I turned around and looked at him. "Okay, so we slept together a couple times and we…" I waved my arm around then shook my head. "I'm not telling you his business."

"Um, okay?" Shane said, giving me a weird look. "I don't even want to know. So whatcha cooking for dinner?"

I sighed and walked into the kitchen, relieved for the subject change. "Burgers."

"Sweet."

"Come in here and help."

I heard him sigh. "Fine."

I smiled at his less than enthusiastic response and got to work.

* * *

I tucked my phone in my pocket and sighed. I had off on a Friday night for once, which was a good thing. Or at least, it _should_ be a good thing. Unfortunately, all I could think about was the fact that I was ready for some soft of… relationship or something.

Someone that would take me out on a date when I had the odd Friday off. Someone that would hold me, kiss me...among other things. I was tired of coming home to an empty apartment every night since Ethan was hardly ever there. And even on the off chance he was there, it wasn't like I could snuggle down with him, because gross, he was my brother.

What I really needed was a boyfriend. I was tired of going to bed alone. So, so tired of it. I hadn't been intimate with a guy in over seven months, maybe more? Ughhh.

 _Why can't I find a guy that wants to date me? A guy that's as nice as James, as much fun to be around. I need to find someone to date because this non-dating friendship thing with James is the best dating experience I've ever had. And we're not even dating!_

I sighed out loud. Ugh. All I wanted to do was call James and see if he was free this weekend, but maybe I should try to find an actual date instead. _I really need to get laid._

"Did you find a new guy or something?"

I turned to Dustin in surprise. "Huh? What're you talking about?"

He eyed me for a minute. "You're acting weird… or weirder than usual."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. Do you realize that you've switched the backdrop out five times, only to come back to the same one I originally had up? And it looks like you're about to switch it again."

I looked at my hands and realized I was holding the edge of another backdrop, so I hastily dropped it, then looked at the one that was hanging… the same one we typically started with for baby portraits. I sighed and muttered, "Sorry."

Dustin shrugged. "It's fine. The client's late, anyway." He leaned back against the tall desk in the room. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "You know I can listen without repeating what I hear."

I sighed again and plopped down in the middle of the floor. "I know. I just… ughhhh. I don't even know what to say."

"Is this about James?"

I snapped my wide-eyed gaze up to him. "What? What about James?" It was pathetic, but I still hadn't talked to Dak about James and me being friends, even though we'd been hanging out for months. It wasn't like I was ashamed of it or anything, I was just worried that Dak would be upset.

And I didn't know If I could handle having him mad at me because I sure as hell wasn't going to stop hanging out with James for him or anyone. James had easily become my favorite person in the world… and he still had no idea that Dak didn't know, which made me cringe every time I thought about it. I was being such an unfair dick to my friends.

Dustin rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Kendall, I'm not blind. I've seen you texting him a million times a day. Or that's who I assume you're texting, anyway."

I cringed. "Does Dak know?"

"I don't think so. But Tyler and I definitely noticed."

"Fuuuuck." I huffed. "Have you guys been spying on me?"

Dustin smirked. "No, dude, we heard you talking to him the other day when we walked into the break room. You said his name into the phone. It's the same James that Dak was with, isn't it?" Shit. He must've taken my silence as an affirmation because he shrugged. "We just figured that was who you've been glued to your phone for."

"Did Dak hear me?"

"No, he wasn't with us."

"Oh god, does Lucy know? She has the biggest mouth."

"She wasn't there. Why would it matter, anyway?"

I ran my hands over my face. "I just don't want people making a thing out of it."

"Wait, are you dating him?" Dustin's eyes went comically wide.

"No, no, no." I waved him off. "Nothing like that. I just… I don't know, it's weird."

"If you're not dating him, then what's so weird? Do you guys have some kind of secret friendship happening or something?"

I snorted, then cringed internally because that was _exactly_ what I'd been doing. _I'm the worst best friend ever._ "No. It's just, he's Dak's ex, you know? And I don't want him to be upset or feel weird about me hanging out with him, I don't know."

Dustin stared at me for a long moment before slowly saying, "I still don't see the problem."

I flopped onto my back and stared at the ceiling. "Uggghhh."

"Talk to me, dweeb."

"You sure you want to hear about my guy problems?"

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care."

I had never really discussed guy stuff with _Mr. Straight As An Arrow Dustin_ , but if he was up for it, then maybe I could get this off my chest. "Fine, but you asked for it." I glanced at him, but didn't get up. "I've been hanging out with James, like, every weekend almost, and we've been texting every day for… months."

When I didn't say anything else, Dustin said, "I already know all that. Is that it?"

I looked at the ceiling. "Yes. No. I don't know. He's a great guy. I didn't used to think to think he was, but he's really sweet and nice and thoughful. And funny. He makes me laugh."

"So you like him."

"No. I don't know. Maybe? He's a great friend, so obviously I like him. And he's sexy as hell. It's just, I don't know if I really like him or if I just like him because I know I can't have him."

"Why can't you?"

I scrubbed my hands over my face. "For one thing, he's my friend _and_ boss's ex and he broke his heart. And even if that wasn't the case, he doesn't do relationships or anything. He just does… sex. So now I'm just in this weird friendship thing with him, even though sometimes I think he might like me. _Like_ -like me, but we're both ignoring it, and I feel like an ass because we're trying to be friends, but I can't stop thinking about…" I trailed off.

After a long pause, Dustin softly asked, "Why don't you talk to him about it?"

I looked at him. "That's the worst possible advice ever."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "It's typically what adults do in these situations because it works."

"Not if it'll scare him away. I like being friends with him. He's a great friend and we're having fun."

Dustin shrugged. "Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I mean, yeah, I think so."

Dustin huffed out a long-suffering sigh.

"You're the worst." I told him.

"Me? Why?" He chuckled.

"Because you convinced me to talk, and I don't feel any better. I think I actually feel worse."

"You're the one that won't listen to me."

"That's because your ideas suck. Would you want your girlfriend talking to you about this stuff?"

Dustin tilted his head, thinking. "Yeah, I would."

"Uggghhh." I whined. "The worst." I groaned and he laughed.

"What's the matter with you?"

My head snapped over to the doorway where Jett stood. I quickly sat up. "Nothing."

Jett eyed me. "Real believable." He rolled his eyes, then crossed his arms over his chest. "What wrong with you? Whose ass do I need to kick?"

"No one's. I swear. I'm just cranky today." I shot Dustin a warning glare, and he held up his hands defensively and shrugged a shoulder. I looked back at Jett. "You guys are doing the Saturday wedding, right? Do I get to bring someone with me on Sunday?"

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. The Sunday wedding is a double shoot, so you can take whoever's available with you."

I nodded, then looked at Dustin. "Wanna shoot a wedding with me?"

"Sure, I can do Sunday."

"Great!" I said a little too loudly as I jumped up off the floor.

Jett and Dustin both eyed me, but neither said anything about my odd behavior. They began discussing the rest of the day's schedule, so I walked to the break room and sat down. I was being such an ass. I really needed to get over it and tell Dak. And Jett for that matter, considering he was going all overprotective on me, which was actually really sweet.

I appreciated it more than I'd ever admit out loud. I just really needed to come clean. Did I seriously plan on hiding my friendship with James for the rest of our lives? Not to mention the birthday party I was going to _with_ James that Dak would no doubt be at.

I sighed out loud and banged my head on the table.

 _I am such a fucking idiot._

* * *

 **Done! So, we got a four month time jump with a little bit of Kames interaction, along with JamesxCarlos and KendallxDustin talks! As well as the reveal that Kendall STILL hasn't told Dak about him hanging out with James.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I've loved hearing your thoughts on this story so far, and I'm so glad that you're all enjoying it! :)**

 **The next chapter will be up this weekend, which I'm really excited about and will be... emotional, to say the least.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with a new chapter!**

 **Of course, before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Is Ethan still disappearing all the time?" James asked me Friday night as we sat on his couch. Because yes, I'd called and asked him to hang out instead of going out and looking for a date. _Because I'm an idiot. I need to find a dateable guy so freaking badly._ But asI looked over at James, I realized that hanging out with him was better than any date I could've gone on. _Because it's James, and James is amazing and sexy as hell. Fuck, stop thinking about that! You have things you need to tell him. Focus on what you need to say, man, come on!_

After I realized what he'd asked, I nodded. "Yeah, he's almost never home, but he doesn't work. I think he literally just sleeps in my apartment, because he's never there. I have no idea where he goes all the time." I fidgeted on the couch, but I couldn't seem to stop wiggling around.

"That's so weird. I've only seen him a couple of times since he moved in with you. He hasn't even come over here for dinner like he was supposed to."

"Yeah, I don't know." _Just say it!_

"Why are you all antsy?" He asked, clearly noticing me wiggling around beside him. I was probably making him crazy.

 _You have things you need to talk about. Focus, man, come on!_ After my millionth mental pep talk, I sighed and blurted, "I have a confession."

He lifted a brow and waved me on.

I blew out a breath. "You have to promise not to hate me."

His eyebrows scrunched up. "What did you do?"

I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. "It's more about what I _didn't_ do. Yet. Didn't do yet. I can't tell you until you promise."

"Okay. I promise I won't hate you. I doubt you could do anything bad enough to make me hate you, anyway."

"I don't know about that." I said under my breath. "Promise not to be mad."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Kendall, you're starting to worry me. What the hell is going on?"

I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants again. "Okay, so you know how I work for Dak?"

He made a face that clearly said _get to the point, you idiot_.

"Right. Obviously, you know that." I blew out a breath, then said as quickly as possible, "I haven't told him that we've been hanging out."

He stared at me for a long moment, then squinted his eyes at me. He ran a hand through his hair and faced forward on the couch so he wasn't looking at me.

I chewed on my cheek while I waited for him to say something, but after several minutes of silence, I couldn't take it anymore. "Please say something."

"I don't know what you want me to say." His voice was monotone and held none of the light openness it usually did when he spoke to me.

My heart sank. He hated me. I ruined everything. _I'm an idiot that ruins everything._ "Don't hate me." I whispered.

He suddenly turned and asked, "Are you ashamed of being my friend or something?"

"No! I swear that's not it." _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._ "I just… I'm scared that he'll be mad at me because you're his ex."

"He told us before that he didn't care."

"I know, I just-" I cut myself off when he got up and started walking away, feeling myself start to panic a little. "Where are you going?"

"I'm grabbing a beer." He said as he walked into the kitchen. "Want one?"

I closed my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief that he was, at the very least, still being his sweet self. "Sure."

He came back a minute later, passed me an open beer and plopped onto the couch right beside me. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he gulped half his beer in one go before he said without looking at me, "You know he already knows, right?"

I blinked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Dak already knows."

"How...how do you know that?"

He turned to face me, resting his elbow on the back of the couch with his knee banging into my thigh. "Because unlike you, I talk to my coworkers, one of which happens to be really close with Dak." He casually took a sip of his beer. "Plus, I saw Dak over at Logan's a while ago and he asked if we, me and you, were coming to his Memorial Day party."

I continued blinking at him. "We didn't go to that party. We stayed here and watched movies instead."

"I'm aware."

"He's known this whole time."

It wasn't a question, but he still said, "Yep."

I stared at him for a long moment. "That little prick." Dak was totally messing with me. That asshat.

James shrugged. "I didn't know you were trying to be sneaky or whatever or I wouldn't have said anything to him."

"No, Jay, that's not… I'd never ask you to do that."

"No. You'd just pretend we're not friends around other people? What are we, middle schoolers?"

I cringed. "I know. I'm an idiot."

"You are."

"I'm sorry."

He took a deep breath. "Okay."

I stared at him as he sipped his beer. "That's it?"

"You apologized." He sighed.

"Yeah, but… I'm an asshole."

"You said it."

I fell back on the couch and took a swig of my beer. "I'm really sorry. I love hanging out with you, obviously. I want to hang out with you all the time. You're, like, my best friend. All joking aside, you really are. I was a scared, pathetic jerk, and I'm so incredibly sorry."

"Hey, I told you you're forgiven. I know you didn't want to hurt your friend. I get it. You and Dak have been friends for a long time."

Without picking up my head up off the couch, I looked over at him. "Yeah, but I shouldn't have hurt you in the process."

He shoulder-bumped me. "It's okay."

"No, it's not, but thanks for being so nice to me." I stared at him before setting my beer on the table and sitting back, then tucking my arm under his and leaning into him so I could rest my chin on his shoulder. "Would you tell me if you were upset?"

He looked at me a little, then moved around to get more comfortable without knocking me off him. "Yeah."

I rested my cheek on his arm and tucked my legs up on the couch so I could lean on him further. I didn't usually hang all over him, but I needed to be close to him to reassure myself that he didn't hate me. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away.

After a while, I heard him softly say, "Don't lie to me or anything again."

"I won't. I promise." I whispered before squeezing his arm and scooting closer so my legs were resting over his thigh. He was taking this so much better than I'd thought he would. If the roles were reversed, I didn't know if I could be this accepting of it.

He nodded and sipped his beer, settling into the couch.

The front door of his apartment opened up and Shane walked in. He stared at us for a moment with a raised brow. "Hey. I'll, uh… I'll be in my room." He said, sending a look James' way before grabbing a couple slices of pizza off the coffee table and heading toward his room.

We started some romantic-comedy movie, and I leaned against James through the entire thing. It was nice having his warm body beside me, and he didn't seem to mind. After a while, he even leaned into me a little, and without realizing what I was doing, I ran my fingertips up and down the skin of his lower arm. When I noticed what I was doing, I looked at James to gauge his reaction, and he rested his hand on my thigh. It almost felt natural to lean on him.

I was so comfortable there, and it was so damn nice that I never wanted to move away. My nerves from earlier dissipated the longer I sat there with him. I'd been so worried that he'd hate me and be pissed and want to end our friendship. But he'd been so damn understanding. I didn't deserve his friendship, but now that I had it, I would fight like hell to keep it if I had to.

When the movie was over, I accidentally asked, "Why don't you ever date people?"

He sighed and for a brief moment I thought he was going to pull away from me, but he remained still, only fidgeting with a string on my jeans near my knee. He took so long to respond, I didn't think he was going to answer, but to my surprise, he quietly said, "No one ever sticks around, so what's the point? I'd rather just have fun with someone for a night and move on before it becomes painful."

I frowned at that and finally sat up so I could turn my body and look at him. I kept my knee leaning on his thigh. "That's a really sad way of looking at life."

He glanced at me. "It's the truth, though. No one has ever stuck around, why would that suddenly change?"

"What do you mean, no one?"

He looked away for a few seconds, as if deciding whether or not to share, then he returned his gaze me. "My parents, my friends, my grandparents, and other relatives… you know, all the people that are supposed to love you no matter what? They _all_ threw me out like yesterday's trash. No one even cared that I was homeless for a few weeks when it happened."

His facial expression was so devastated, I almost couldn't take it. I looked at his fidgeting fingers and saw his hand shaking. I hated that he was upset, and I hesitated for a few seconds. _If I comfort him, will he stop talking and pull away?_ But then he ran a trembling hand through his hair and my heart squeezed, it ached from seeing him in pain, seeing that whatever happened still affected him so strongly.

I knew I couldn't just sit there doing nothing, so I reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked at me in surprise, but didn't pull away, so I held his hand in between both of mine and ran my thumb over his knuckles. I couldn't take away the pain he was feeling in that moment, but at least I could make sure he knew I was here for him.

His grip tightened around my hand, and he looked back toward the paused TV. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Not a single person in my family tried to help me, and it wasn't for a lack of trying on my part. I went to my grandparents, and they wouldn't even let me in their house. The same thing happened at my aunt's and uncle's houses. No one would take me in. Not until I finally broke down one day in front of Logan. He and his mother let me stay with them. Luckily, it was only a couple months before graduation. I got a job over the summer, then lived on campus in college. Luckily, I worked and had scholarships… I don't know what I would've done if I didn't."

He waved it away as if he'd gotten off track. He squeezed my hand tight. "And all of it, all of the derogatory things my family said and the fact that they didn't care if I had a place to live or food to eat… all of it was just because of who I am. Just because I finally had the courage to come out and be myself. That's what completely being myself got me. A big slap in the face from people that I thought would love me no matter what."

He laughed bitterly before lifting his shirt, revealing a huge jagged scar on the side of his stomach that was probably a good ten inches long. "Oh, and a permanent reminder that my father hates me so much, he used a broken beer bottle against me." He dropped his shirt and I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that pricked my eyes. How could someone do that to another person? Let alone their own child?

He looked away and took a steadying breath. "If not a single one of them cared enough to make sure I didn't freeze or starve to death, how can I ever expect someone else to care about me like that?"

Hearing that made me want to cry. That had to be the saddest way of looking at things ever. Had James really been thinking and feeling this way since he was a _teenager_? Feeling like no one cared and everyone left him?

I swallowed down my emotions before speaking. "What about Shane? And Logan? You still have them." I said softly.

"Shane… needs my help right now, so I'm sure he'll leave once he doesn't need me. And Logan..." He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Well, Logan has his own family now."

"James…" I bit my lip for a few seconds. "Logan still cares about you. He always will. And I'm sure your brother will always love you, whether you're helping him or not."

"Check back in a few years." He muttered.

"James…" He looked over at me with a vulnerability I'd never seen in him before. I lifted my hand and gently touched my fingertips to his cheek. "People care about you. People will _always_ care."

"No, they won't. As for a relationship, I'm not meant to have one. It's just not in the cards for me."

All of my secret hopes were dashed in just a few minutes. And the worst part was that he looked fucking devastated. "Jay, you don't know that." I couldn't bring myself to remove my fingers from his cheek.

"I can't do it, Kendall. I can't… I can't hope for something when I know it'll only hurt later on." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"So you're just planning on being alone for the rest of your life? You don't even want to try? With someone, anyone?"

He looked at me with an expression that was almost pleading. "I _can't_ do it. I've tried before and... I'm just not that person. I'm not the one that settles down or dates. I just... _can't_."

I felt tears prick at my eyes because I suddenly felt like I was losing something. Which wasn't fair because I'd gone into this friendship knowing that was all it'd ever be. But the way he treated me, the way he'd been opening up, I thought… I thought that maybe…

His eyes looked so pained before he closed them and swallowed heavily. I started to pull my fingers away, but he put his hand over mine so my hand was flat against his cheek. The pain on his face was heartbreaking to witness. Everyone always made it seem like he was an asshole, like he used people and pushed them away.

 _No one ever told me that he was just lonely and in need of a little comfort, in need of a soothing touch. No one ever told me he just needed someone to be understanding and gentle. No one ever told me he just needed someone to fucking_ care _about him._

I didn't really know what I was doing. I didn't know how to make that feeling of inadequacy he had go away. But I had to comfort him somehow. So I let go of his hand and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him to me. He squeezed his eyes tighter, but let me pull him into my chest and wrap my arms around him. He tucked his head on my shoulder, then wrapped his arms around my waist.

He took a few deep breaths and I rubbed his back, but then a door down the hall opened and James pulled away and straightened himself on the couch with a stoic expression on his face. The sudden distance he put between us, both physically and emotionally, hurt. I felt like I was starting to get to know the real James underneath all those layers of cocky armor, but that he'd erected his shield as soon as someone else came close.

"James." I whispered.

He turned to me and gave me a little, sad half-smile.

I didn't want to lose that connection with him, so I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together. He looked surprised and confused for a moment before he leaned his head onto the back of the couch and closed his eyes, squeezing my hand and pulling me close.

Shane walked through the living room without a word as I scooted closer to my friend. _Friend. He's my friend, nothing else. I just want to… cuddle with him… with my friend. That was completely normal._ I sighed internally at myself, and I lifted his arm around my shoulders and rested my head on his chest. He rubbed my arm, as if telling me he was good with sitting this way. With _cuddling_ with his best _friend_.

"Do you want to watch another movie?" I whispered.

He let out a long-suffering sigh while pulling me closer before nodding. "Yeah."

I grabbed the remote off the coffee table and settled back against him with my head on his shoulder. When the movie started, he removed his hand off my upper arm and started running his fingers through my hair. I glanced at James in surprise, but his gaze was focused on the TV. I didn't think he was even aware of what he was doing. But every cell in my body was focused on the soft, rhythmic motion that simultaneously put me at ease while making my dick hyper-aware of the man I was leaning on.

I blew out a breath and closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. The feeling of my _friend's_ body against mine, and his fingers in my hair. My fucking friend. No matter how attracted I was to him, that was all he'd ever be because he didn't want anything more.

If being his friend was all he could offer, I guess I'd take it. Because I wanted him in my life. Period.

I started to drift off and I thought that I maybe felt him place a kiss against my hair, but it was probably my imagination. Or just another friends kiss.

* * *

 **Done! So, there you have it. A bit more of James' backstory was revealed, along with why he's against having a relationship. Of course, I couldn't help adding some sweet moments in there.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter will be up within the next few days, so you won't have to wait too long for that.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back again with another new chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

"Shit!" A whispered curse woke me up, and I was confused for a second because I wasn't in my bedroom. After blinking a few times, I realized I'd fallen asleep on the couch. And when I tried to lift my hand to rub my eyes, I realized that Kendall had me pinned down on the couch.

I looked down at him and smiled at the little snore coming out of his open mouth, then I held back a chuckle when I noticed him drooling on my chest. I was _so_ going to make fun of him for that.

I was flat on my back with one foot on the floor, the other across the couch, and Kendall lying almost completely on top of me. His one leg was only an inch or two away from my morning wood, so I sent up a silent prayer that he didn't suddenly jolt or kick in his sleep.

Once I took stock of everything, including a cursing Shane in the kitchen, I settled back in. It was Saturday, so we were both off work. There was no point in waking him up. Plus, I kinda liked having him here. I'd always been a cuddler, but I hadn't had anyone to cuddle with in months. And this was _Kendall_. He was my best friend, he was adorable, he was sexy, and he always made me feel good about myself, made me feel light and happy.

Well, minus his stupidity over the whole Dak thing. But I could tell he was truly sorry, and he'd only been doing that because he hadn't wanted to hurt anyone's feelings. He was an all-around good guy that I enjoyed spending time with, and someone that seemed to understand me for the most part.

Oh, did I mention he was sexy? Why wouldn't I want a sexy man lying on me? He fit perfectly in my arms, like he was made to be there. Not that he was, because I obviously couldn't go _there_ with him. But I figured it was fine to pretend until he woke up. I could pretend that he was mine, that we were together, that he would always be with me. Even though I knew that wasn't possible, sometimes Kendall made me wish it was.

I ran my fingers through his hair and rubbed his back, savoring him while I could. I pressed my nose to his hair and relished the smell of his apple-scented shampoo. Whenever he was close and I got a whiff of that wonderful smell, it made me smile.

Shane walked through the living room and lifted a brow at me, so I just shrugged a shoulder and ignored him. When he walked back through again, he waved, so I waved back. I figured he was on his way to work, so it was still early. I pulled Kendall closer to me and maneuvered a little to get us both more comfortable so I could go back to sleep.

"James?" He mumbled with his eyes closed, clearly not really awake.

"Sorry." I whispered. "Go back to sleep, Jalapeno."

He hummed and tucked his head into my neck and he wrapped his arms around me farther, clinging to me in his sleep. I pulled him tight against me and automatically kissed his hair. I cringed when I realized what I'd done, but then I blew out a breath and just hoped he'd been asleep enough not to notice.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift off into a comfortable sleep.

XxX

I woke up when I felt Kendall pulling away from me, and I automatically grabbed him so he couldn't get up. It took me a few seconds to realize what I'd done in my half-asleep state, and when I did, I loosened my hold on him, keeping my eyes shut. "Sorry. Where are you going?" I muttered.

He cleared his throat before speaking quietly. "I have to pee."

"'Kay." I let him go completely, and he got off the couch, climbing over me. I shivered at the loss of his body heat. I didn't want to think about the fact that I also sorta just missed having him in my arms. _Not going to think about it._

While he was gone, I rolled over onto my side and pressed flat against the back of the couch so I could see when he returned. I squinted at the clock under the TV and noticed that it was only eight in the morning. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I wanted to go back to sleep.

When Kendall came back, he stood at the end of the hall and stared at me, looking unsure and uncomfortable. I almost decided to just get up and start making breakfast, but we'd stayed up late last night, and I knew we were both tired. So I figured what the hell?

I patted the spot on the couch beside me. "Let's go back to sleep for a bit. I'll make breakfast later."

Kendall stepped forward and started wringing his hands together, still looking unsure.

I leaned my head up a little and asked, "Would you rather go in my bed, and I can stay out here?"

He stared at me for a moment, then took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, seeming to steel himself. "Are you sure you wouldn't mind me on the couch again?"

I put my head back on the throw pillow. "Of course not." I patted the couch again. "Come on, it's no big deal. Besides, you're comfy." I looked at him and saw a small smile on his face.

"Okay." He said as he walked over and climbed onto the couch.

He was stiff and a little tense, so I put my arm over his waist and pulled him closer to me. "What's wrong with you?" I asked.

He blew out a breath. "I was afraid you were gonna be weird."

I shrugged. "You're the one being weird. Come on, I'm tired."

He snorted, finally rolled into me and rested his head on my arm, then tucked his head under my chin. When I started rubbing his back, I felt him blow a breath against my skin as he finally relaxed.

My body was hyper-aware of every part of him that touched me. The way his lips were close to the skin on my neck, and his breath was blowing on my skin. The way his chest was flat against mine. The way his hip pressed to mine. The way his hand rested on my waist.

Suddenly, instead of wanting to go to sleep, my body had a mind of its own and almost thrummed to life and I had a _problem_. I pushed my ass back against the couch so Kendall wouldn't feel my, uh, problem pressed against him.

 _I haven't gotten laid in months, that's all this is. Just a natural reaction to a hot guy's body close to mine._

Apparently, I was a glutton for punishment because instead of releasing Kendall and getting off the couch, I pulled him closer and smelled his hair-my new addiction, apparently-and gently rubbed his back, then used the arm he was lying on to run my fingers through his hair.

After a few minutes, Kendall ran his hand from my waist up my side to my shoulder blade where he grabbed onto me tightly as he pressed his face against the base of my neck. I held him snuggly but kept up the rhythmic motion of playing with his hair.

We lay there for a long time. I hadn't fallen back asleep, but I could tell that Kendall had because his breathing evened out and his grip loosened on me. Although, he snuggled into my chest farther in his sleep which made me smile.

When Kendall woke up later on, he muttered against my neck, "Morning, Cupcake."

I snorted. "Morning, Jalapeno." I was still playing with his hair and didn't stop, even though I was a little worried that I was making this whole thing weird. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not picky."

"Eggs and bacon it is, then."

I felt him take a deep breath, and he surprised me by quickly pressed his lips against the base of my throat, then scrambling out of my arms and off the couch. My breath hitched and I closed my eyes so he wouldn't see my emotions on my face. I was also praying that he didn't notice the huge hard-on I was sporting. I'd been sporting one for the nearly two hours we'd laid there, but now, just from that simple little kiss, my dick was throbbing. _Fuck. Why the hell did he do that?_

"Uh… James?" Kendall's voice grabbed my attention, and I realized I'd been lying there with my eyes closed, taking deep, calming breaths for over a minute. I looked at him and immediately regretted seeing his sleep rumpled state because, fuck, if he didn't look adorable like that.

His blond hair was sticking up everywhere, his shirt was wrinkled, and he had a crease on his cheek that was probably from my shirt. After I stared for another minute, he asked, "You okay?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah… I… need to go to the bathroom. Be right back." I jumped off the couch and ran quickly into the bathroom, breathing out a sigh of relief when the door clicked shut. "Holy shit." I ran a hand through my hair and pressed my other hand to my dick, willing it to calm the fuck down.

"Down, boy." I chastised. I looked in the mirror and attempted to fix my hair, then splashed water on my face before taking a leak and washing my hands, taking deep, calming breaths the entire time.

 _Kendall is your friend, you can't just jump him, no matter how sexy he looks… or feels._

 _Shit._

I repeated my mantra that wasn't helping in the least a couple of times before leaving the bathroom. When I walked into the kitchen, Kendall was already starting on breakfast. I leaned against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest, taking him in. His ass was perfect and practically begging me to grab and fondle it. When I realized I was perving on my best friend, I shook my head before speaking. "I thought I was making you breakfast?"

Kendall looked over his shoulder with a half-smile. "You can help."

I snorted and pushed off the doorframe, then grabbed the eggs out of the fridge. "What kind of eggs do you want?"

"You have cheese to put on top of scrambled, right?"

"Yeah."

"Let's do bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches, then. We can use toast."

"Sounds good." We continued making food and after a few minutes, I asked, "What do you want to do today?"

"Um… I don't really have clothes to change into, so if you want to go out, we'll have to stop by my apartment first."

"We can just hang out here, if you want? You can borrow sweatpants and a shirt if you want to take a shower here." I held in a groan at the thought of Kendall in my shower, where he'd be naked. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath because, for reasons I couldn't explain, the idea of him wearing my clothes was appealing. _Very_ appealing.

"That would be cool, thanks. I could use a lazy day." He had his back to me and I couldn't stop myself from checking out his ass and imagining what it looked like in that lacey underwear he liked. _Shit_.

"James?"

"Hmm?" I snapped my gaze upward and bit my check when I saw him looking over his shoulder at me. I prayed he hadn't noticed my sudden obsession with his ass.

"Are you okay?" He was staring at me with concerned eyes.

"Uh, yeah. I just need coffee."

Kendall pointed with the spatula at the mug sitting in the coffee maker. "I made you a cup already." He turned around and flipped the bacon on the skillet.

My chest was thick with emotion knowing that he'd been thoughtful enough to make me coffee. I cleared my throat for the millionth time this morning. "Thank you."

He waved me off, clearly unaware of how much the simple gesture meant coming from him.

For the rest of the morning, I attempted to stop checking Kendall out, though he was smiling and laughing with me which made it even harder, because damn, did he have a nice smile. After we cleaned up breakfast, Kendall took a shower and dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Somehow, the clothes were hanging off of him a little bit, and he looked sexy as hell with his wet hair, green eyes, and flushed skin from the heat of the shower.

"You are totally my _Little_ Jalapeno." I said as soon as he came out. I cringed internally when I realized I said _my_.

"I'm not _little_ , you asshat." He flipped me off. "Your turn. I'll find a movie while you shower."

I gave him a mock-salute before heading into the bathroom. As soon as the water warmed up enough, I jumped in and couldn't stop myself from grabbing my cock and giving it a tug. I couldn't help it after waking up rock hard this morning and fighting a boner every damn time I looked at Kendall or he looked at me.

I tried to think of someone-anyone-other than the man sitting in my living room, but every time I pushed the picture of Kendall's wet hair or tight ass out of the way, another picture of him smiling or laughing would pop up. His green eyes taunted me as I tugged and jerked my cock, just wanting some relief. I was so close to release that I didn't even care if I pictured him anymore. It wasn't like he'd ever know, right?

All I could think about was how it'd felt to have him in my arms, how he'd clung to me, his breath on my skin, that tiny barely-there kiss, and suddenly I exploded all over my hand. I had to bite down on my arm to keep from screaming out, though a low moan spilled out. My orgasm was more intense than it'd been in months, and it left me feeling worn out.

"Holy shit." I panted out as I rested my temple against the tile wall. After taking several deep breaths and calming myself, I washed off, then got out, dried off and dressed before heading back into the living room.

Kendall looked up and said, "I thought I was gonna have to come in there and save you from drowning. Do you always take that long?"

 _Huh._ "Uh… erm… no? Not usually? I mean, no… No." I felt my face heat up a little, which was dumb because I never blushed. _What the hell is going on with me today?_

Kendall gave me a weird look before his eyes widened and he started laughing so hard, he fell over on the couch. He threw a pillow at me and said, "Oh my god, James. I can't believe you did that with me out here waiting for you."

"Like you've never done it when someone was over." I muttered.

"Okay, true." He laughed out. "I just made sure I was quiet so they wouldn't know."

I clenched my jaw and bit back the embarrassed groan that wanted to escape. I grabbed the pillow off the floor and didn't say anything which made another bout of giggles pour out of him. I sighed and sat on the couch, and as soon as my as hit the cushion, Kendall smacked my chest. "Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do." He chuckled.

I chose to ignore that. "Did you pick out a movie?"

He kept laughing as he said, "I think I found a show we can binge today."

"Fine, whatever. Put it on."

He grabbed the remote, pressed play, and kept on laughing like a jackass as demons or something attacked humans on the TV. Once he finally sobered, he laid back on the couch, put his head on a throw pillow and his feet on my lap. I glanced at him and he lifted a brow at me as if he was asking if it was okay to put his feet there. I sighed, then rested my hand on his shin.

When the second episode started, Kendall said, "Ohmygod, I'm never moving again."

"Huh?"

He nodded at his feet. "That feels so good."

I looked down and frowned. I hadn't even noticed that I'd started rubbing his feet, but I didn't stop because he let out a low moan that made me bite the inside of my cheek and focus on the TV. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't risk the chance at seeing his facial expression when he made that sound.

Kendall and I spent the entire day lounging on the couch, eating food, talking and watching TV. It was the laziest day I'd had in a really long time. But somehow, it'd also been the best day I could remember having in recent years. When Kendall went home that night, I instantly missed him as soon as the door shut behind him. I'd spent more than twenty-four hours straight with him and yet, it still wasn't enough.

When I lay in bed that night, I couldn't help but notice the ache in my chest. Somehow spending just one night with Kendall on the couch made my own loneliness come to the forefront. It sucked and I tossed and turned all night long and tried to figure out a way to have Kendall spend the night again that wouldn't weird him out. Needless to say, it didn't go well.

* * *

 **Done! So, a lighter chapter since the last one was so heavy. This one was basically a Kames-fest. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Next chapter will be up within the next few days, so you won't have to wait too long for that.**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get into that, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and annabellex2 for reviewing last chapter!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

As soon as I walked into the studio on Monday morning, I went straight into Dak's office and said, "You little asshole."

"Well, hello to you, too." Dak said without looking up from the paperwork on his desk. "What crawled up your ass?"

"You knew this whole fucking time about James!"

Dak slowly looked up with a frown on his face. "What?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You've known that I've been hanging out with James for months, and you didn't say anything to me."

Dak's brow furrowed. "I didn't say anything because I assumed you didn't want to talk about it. I kept asking you who you were talking to, and you kept saying no one. I didn't think you wanted me in your business."

I eyed him for a long moment before sighing and plopping in the seat across from him. "You're being serious, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Kendall. I don't even know what your problem is right now."

"I've been afraid to tell you."

"Tell me what? That you're dating James?"

"What? No! We're not dating. He's my friend."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Ken, you're not making any sense. What were you so afraid to tell me, then?"

"Ugh." I groaned and slid down in my seat so my head was on the back and I was staring at the ceiling. "James and I are friends, and I've been afraid to tell you that we've been hanging out because I thought you'd be mad. And when I said something to James about it on Friday, he told me you knew already, so I assumed you were being a jerk and messing with me."

"I wouldn't do that to you." He sounded hurt, so I glanced at him, immediately noticing the hurt that was clearly on his face. "You know me better than that. I would never do something to hurt you intentionally."

"I know." I sighed, running my hands over my face.

"Why were you so afraid to tell me? I told you before that I didn't care. Honestly, you could date him for all I care, as long as you're both happy."

I peeked out from behind my fingers to see the sincerity on his face, then I blew out a long breath. "He doesn't date people."

He shot me a half-smile. "That wasn't a denial that you wish he did, though."

I blew out another breath. "No, I didn't say that, I just… wish I had _someone_ to date."

Dak was quiet for a few seconds, but eventually, he said, "Just be careful, okay? I don't want either of you getting hurt."

"He's a good guy." I felt the need to defend James for some reason.

One of Dak's eyebrows shot up. "I never said he wasn't."

I put my head back and stared at the ceiling again, then decided to change the subject because the last thing I wanted to do was talk about James behind his back with his ex. "Did you get Dylan to give you some coffee grounds?"

"Yep, and there's a pot roasting already. It's probably done by now. Dustin started it, like, twenty minutes ago."

"Want me to get you a cup? Peace offering?"

He smiled. "You don't need a peace offering, Ken. But sure, I'd love one."

I nodded and got up to search for caffeine.

When I brought Dak his coffee, he thanked me and stood up. "You okay?"

I nodded.

"You can talk to me if you need to, you know?"

"I know." And I did. I just felt awkward, especially because James was his ex, but I knew, deep down, that Dak would listen if I wanted to talk about anything.

He gave me a small smile, then grabbed his coffee mug and pulled me into a quick hug. I shot him a smile when we broke the hug, then headed to the front desk so I could edit my shoot from yesterday.

XxX

After cooking dinner together on another rare Friday night off, James and I were watching a movie, but I couldn't seem to focus.

I was sitting in the corner of the couch, and when James came back in from getting a bowl of popcorn, instead of sitting on the other end, or even on the middle cushion, he sat right beside me. Like, right up against me so his arm, hip, and leg were completely pressed against me.

Ever since last weekend, he kept...touching me more than he had before. Before we'd fallen asleep on the couch together, we'd hugged and every once in a while, I'd lean against him while we watched a movie, and I'd kissed his cheek a few times, he'd kissed my temple.

But not like this. Those small, innocent kisses had been few and far between, and I'd always been the one to initiate hugging or leaning against each other. But I'd been over at his house for dinner twice this past week, and he'd been in my space the entire time I'd been there.

Maybe he didn't realize he was doing it, I don't know, but he was driving me insane. He really seemed to have no clue about the effect he had on me. It wasn't that I didn't want him to touch me, because, believe me, I totally did. It was that I wanted him to touch me too much. I wanted him to hold me and rub me and kiss me and never let me go.

But I knew that wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want a relationship. He'd said so himself. He just wanted me as a friend.

And that was fine. The touching could maybe, kinda, be a friend thing. If only he'd tell my dick that. I was constantly at half-mast when I was around him. Although, I was pretty damn sure I saw James' pants tenting the other night, not that I was looking or anything. Okay, I was totally looking because, freaking hello? How could you not?

Since James seemed to be having a good time driving me insane, even if he didn't realize he was doing it, I decided to maybe drive him a little crazy back. After he settled in beside me, I put my arm on the back of the couch, then gently ran my fingertip down his neck.

He froze for a split second, but relaxed and continued eating popcorn like nothing had happened. So I decided to continue my experiment and ran three fingertips down his neck, a little more deliberately this time. He blinked his eyes closed for a few seconds, then opened them without a word.

I faced the front so he wouldn't know I was looking at him and went in for the kill. I ran all five fingertips from the base of his neck up into the hair at his nape. I heard him suck in a breath before I started playing with his hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him close his eyes, and he even leaned back a little into my hand. I'd honestly thought he was going to smack my hand away, but he liked it, apparently, and I was happy to oblige. Actually, I loved the way his hair felt between my fingers, so I was more than happy to keep playing with it.

Suddenly, James put his hand on my thigh, like really high up on my thigh, almost inappropriately high for a friend. I closed my eyes as the heat from his palm sent sparks through my body and straight to my dick.

When James' hand started running up and down, each time getting closer to the inside of my thigh and higher up my leg, I swallowed and pressed my lips together to keep from moaning out loud. The bulge in my pants was so hard it was ready to burst. Every time his hand moved, I silently urged it to go higher, but he never seemed to take that last step.

After several minutes of pure torture, I let go of the back of his neck, grabbed the popcorn bowl and set it on the table, then turned a little to look at him with wide eyes. "James?"

I wanted to ask him what he was doing. I wanted to ask him why he was touching me like that. I wanted to ask him to kiss me and touch me like he meant it. I wanted to ask him if he wanted me. I wanted to ask him if we could do something about the issue in my pants before I came all over myself like a horny teenager. But then he looked at me and those hazel eyes held so much emotion, I couldn't decipher any of them. He was staring at me like he wanted to devour me, and like he was hoping I wanted to devour him back.

As I stared into those hazel eyes, I couldn't help but see when they flickered down to my lips. _Holy shit. Maybe he does feel something too._ James' face was so close to mine-when the hell had that happened?-I could feel his breath ghosting across my lips. I licked my lips in anticipation, and his eyes flickered down again as his lips opened on a gasp.

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to taste him. I _had_ to. It was killing me.

Without second guessing myself, I closed my eyes and leaned forward until our lips were barely touching. I felt him gasp again, and when he didn't pull away, I surged forward, pressing our lips harder together. At first, he was completely frozen, and I was afraid that I'd made a horrible mistake, but then he leaned into me and softly returned the kiss.

One of his hands found their way to my shoulder, and the other gently cupped my cheek. He ran his thumb over my jaw, and when his tongue flicked out, I immediately opened for him, inviting him in. Our tongues met and a tiny moan escaped him. His kiss was soft and tender and so fucking gentle that I felt like I'd burst from the sweetness of it.

But I didn't want sweet. If he made me feel like he cared, it would only hurt more later. He'd already broken my heart when we'd had that stupid talk. Sweet would make me fall apart. Sweet would make me shatter.

I didn't want it. I just wanted… him.

So I grabbed his face and deepened the kiss, earning a loud moan from him. I scooted closer to him on the couch and got to my knees so I could gain better access. This was my one and only shot at kissing him. I was gonna make it count.

I deepened the kiss further and ran one hand down his neck and the other into his hair. He moaned again when I tilted his head, and the sound made my semi thicken. He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me to him so our chests were flush together. I threw my leg over his thighs and straddled him. He immediately started running his hands up and down my back. I pulled his hair a little and rutted against him, and I felt his hard-on rub against mine. _I did that to him._ I shivered and he fucking whimpered into my mouth, so I rutted against him again. He ran his hands down my back and grabbed my ass, pulling me into him.

"Kendall." He whispered into my mouth. He abruptly pulled back. I thought he'd come to his senses, but then he lifted my shirt and pulled it over my head, throwing it across the room.

Immediately, he licked and nipped his way down my neck and collarbone, then down my chest. I threw my head back and moaned when he bit down on my nipple. I held onto his shoulders and rutted against him as he continued exploring my chest with his tongue. I grabbed the hem of his shirt. "Take this off."

He listened right away, leaning away to pull his shirt over his head. I saw the big scar on the side of his stomach, but he pulled my body close, so I couldn't get a good look. I wanted to explore his muscles with my tongue, but he grabbed my face and pulled me into a desperate kiss that I eagerly returned. He slid one hand to the nape of my neck and the other down my back to my ass, pulling me against him.

Feeling his erection rub against mine had me painfully hard, so hard that I had to pull away from him to open my jeans and pull them down to my thighs. I kicked out of them, feeling thankful that my socks and shoes were already off and by the door, and I was happy when I looked at James to see him pulling his pants down, too.

He glanced at me, frozen to the spot with his black boxer briefs still on and his pants only halfway down his legs as he took me in. "Jesus, you're sexy, Jalapeno." He reached out and ran a finger along my lacy underwear. "These look even better on you than I imagined they would."

My heart hammered in my chest at the statement, but I didn't want to think about the fact that he'd just admitted to imagining me in my lacy underwear, so I climbed onto his lap, not even allowing him to pull his pants off all the way.

I grabbed his chin and started kissing him again. I wanted to stop thinking, to stop all the emotions swirling around inside and only feel. Feel his sweaty skin against mine, feel the warmth of his chest and the happy trail that led to a place I wished I could explore further.

He deepened our kiss and grabbed my ass again, kneading the muscles and making our cocks rub together through our underwear. If he wasn't careful, I was going to come in my underwear. I wanted to suck him, I wanted to lick him, I wanted to touch and memorize every inch of him with my tongue. But the way he was kissing me was so good, so damn tender and passionate, so unlike any kiss I'd ever had that I couldn't pull away. I never wanted him to stop kissing me.

I pulled my dick out of my underwear, then pulled his out of his briefs, and we both moaned at the contact. I was going to jack us off together, but he kept pressing me against him so hard, my hand couldn't move. So I ran my hand over his biceps, pecs, neck, and in his hair as we both rutted and thrust our hips together over and over. The glide of his cock against mine had me moaning and gasping and begging for more, though he never let me come up for air.

His mouth was demanding and hot, yet sweet and so fucking passionate that there was no doubt he was as into this as I was.

His hands were everywhere, all over my skin, making me feel like I was burning with pleasure.

His hips were rocking into me as his cock rubbed against mine.

He was fucking everywhere, and I never wanted it to end.

But it was so fucking good that I was already too close, I thought I was gonna come embarrassingly early. But then he leaned back, just a tad so our lips were still touching, and whispered, "Fuck, I'm gonna come… Kendall."

Hearing my name whispered on his lips was the last straw. Suddenly, I exploded in a white-hot bliss, making me see fucking stars as every cell in my body lit up from the inside out as I yelled his name. When he cried out my name a second later, another bout of pleasure shot through me, adding even more spurts of cum to our chests.

We were both panting, breathless as we came down from our highs. My hands were on his shoulders, his were on my ass. He slid his hands up my back and gently rubbed my suddenly cooling skin. A shiver racked my body, and when James ran his hand up to my neck and started to pull me down as if he was about to kiss me, my eyes flew open. He was looking at me with a small smile on his face, sated and happy and calm. I took in his hazel eyes and a sinking sensation started in my chest. He looked calm, but there was no denying the tiny ficker of fear in his eyes.

 _Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god. I ruined everything. He's gonna freak out and never want to see me again. He's gonna hate me because I ruined our friendship. Because there's no way in hell I'm going to be able to be around him and_ not _want this again._

His brow furrowed. "Ken?"

I leaned back as tears filled my eyes. I'd had a little taste of him, and now I'd never be happy with _just friends_. I wanted more. I'd been denying it for months, but seeing him like this, feeling him and touching… I hadn't known how good it could be, how amazing, how fucking mind-blowing it'd be. I couldn't go back to the way things were. I wanted him, all of him. How could I have been so _stupid_?

"Kendall?"

I climbed off his lap and tucked myself back into my underwear. My eyes were blurry from unshed tears. "Oh god. Oh god, oh god." The blood rushed to my ears so everything sounded muted.

"Kendall? What're you doing?"

"Oh god." I muttered as I grabbed my jeans and hurriedly put them on, trying my best to hold back my tears.

"Kendall, _please_ stop."

I knew James was speaking, but his words and the panic in his voice weren't registering over the hammering of my own heart. I found my shirt and tugged it on. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…" I grabbed my phone and headed toward the door, grabbing my shoes along the way.

"Kendall… don't…"

I walked out the door before I even realized James was calling my name.

I stood there for a second before I burst into tears. I fucking ruined everything. I was supposed to be his friend, that was all he'd ever wanted from me, and now I'd ruined it. I was gonna lose my best friend because I was fucking horny and let my dick take the lead.

But I didn't want to hear him make excuses, or hear him tell me how this was a one-time thing, or how it didn't mean anything. Because it did. Even if it hadn't meant anything to him, it meant something to me. It meant a lot to me. It meant everything. And now I was going to pay the price for it.

My chest hurt. Physically hurt as I walked away from James' apartment.

But I couldn't handle hearing him say that it was nothing, or that we could be fuck-buddies. Because I fucking cared about him too much for anything like that to ever work.

 _I ruined everything._

* * *

 **Done! So, yeah... that just happened. Not much to say about that except that I'm going to hide in a corner now.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter is a little shorter, but will be up tomorrow, so you definitely won't have to wait too long for that!**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back as promised with another update!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, annabellex2, Guest, winterschild11, XxxAnimaniacxxX, miko-chan27, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **This chapter is a little on the shorter side, but I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

When Kendall shut the door behind him, I ran my hands over my face, then pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, trying like hell to hold in my emotions.

 _Why the fuck did he run off like that? Just for a minute, I thought… I thought that maybe things could be different this time, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. He left me, just like everyone else._

 _And I ruined everything._

I grabbed the popcorn bowl and threw it across the room, not even caring that I made a horrible mess I'd have to clean up later.

He'd only been gone for a minute and I already missed him. How ridiculous was that?

I slowly got up and walked into my bedroom, shut the door and climbed into my bed, pulling the blanket over me and burying my face in my pillow.

 _Kendall left me just like everyone else._

After finally touching him the way I'd been craving, after such a small taste, it wasn't enough. I didn't think it'd ever be enough… but I guess he'd decided it was.

XxX

I jolted awake at the sound of Shane banging around in the kitchen. I hadn't gotten out of bed all weekend, except to use the bathroom. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the way Kendall looked at me as he fell apart on top of me. That blissed out, content, happy, lust-filled face. Then I'd seen that look of pure panic on his face. He'd panicked and it was all my fault. I'd told him so many times that I was emotionally unavailable, and that I didn't want to do another fuck-buddy situation. I'd said it a million times, and now I'd fucked up and chased him away.

Fuck. _Why do I always fucking ruin everything?_ I knew it was my fault… my problem. I couldn't fucking take the feelings, or at least I hadn't been able to when we'd first started hanging out. The feelings he'd brought up when I knew he was going to walk out that door, those were the most terrifying feelings I'd ever had. I hadn't wanted him to go… I hadn't wanted him to leave me.

But I could see the panic in his eyes, and I hadn't been able to snap him out of it. And no matter how much I'd wanted to deny it, I already felt _something_ for the little jerk. So naturally, now he was gone. Because everyone always leaves… and no matter how much I'd convinced myself that he would eventually leave, it had still taken me by surprise that he really had. I wished this was just some elaborate nightmare that I could wake up from any second.

"James?"

I groaned and threw my comforter over my head.

"Jay? Are you okay?"

"Go away, Shane." I muttered, pulling the blanket back down so I could glare at the door.

"Did something happen? You've been in there for days." Shane had been home, too, and I'd refused to talk to him, so I guess there was no denying that something was off. "I'm coming in."

"No, I don-"

Shane stepped into my room and leaned against the doorway, staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest. "Just give him a call."

"Who?" I asked. _How the hell does he know this is about Kendall?_

Shane rolled his eyes. "Kendall, duh. Call. Him."

I groaned and put the blanket back over my head. "He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Why? Did you guys have a fight or something?"

"No… I don't know."

He sighed and walked over to sit on the edge of my bed. "Dude, you are ripe. Go take a shower, then call him. Apologize or something."

"I fucked up. He doesn't want me to call him."

"Just go see him for fuck's sake." Shane's voice was somehow soft and annoyed at the same time. "I'm sick of you being all mopey."

"I'm not mopey. I'm minding my own business in _my_ room. You're the one that had to come in here."

"Yeah, because my brother is acting like it's the end of the world instead of getting his ass in gear and fixing the problem. Why the fuck won't you go ask the guy out on a date?"

I bristled at the suggestion. "I don't want to date anyone."

"Jay. What the fuck is your problem? Please, just get out of here and go get the guy you've been pining after for the last few months… your wallowing is really getting on my nerves." Shane smacked my shoulder through the blanket.

"I am not wallowing."

He pulled the blanket down far enough that I could see his face and lifted a brow. I sighed and tried to ignore him, but he stared at me for a minute, then rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What is your problem? Why can't you just go out with him? He clearly likes you, too, so what's the deal?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair in frustration before admitting. "People don't really love each other… or at least not enough to stick around, so what's the point? It'll just hurt worse than it already does. I may as well cut my losses now before it gets any worse."

Shane stared at me for a while, then whispered, "Are you serious right now?"

I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling so I wouldn't have to see his expression. "Yeah, it's not like anyone's ever stuck by me before, so why would that suddenly change now?"

"Jay." My brother said softy. "I'm here. I'll _always_ be here. You have to know that by now, right? And what about Logan and Carlos?"

I glanced at him, then looked back at the ceiling. "My own parents didn't want me after they found out who I really was. Neither did our grandparents, aunts, uncles, no one. Why would anyone else?"

I felt him moving around and a few seconds later, Shane was pulling me up and into a hug. "Mom and Dad are fucking idiots and you know it. They didn't want me either, so do you think that means that no one will ever want me?"

My brow furrowed as I pushed him back so I could look at him. "Of course, someone will want you, you're perfect. Annoying...but otherwise perfect."

He snorted and pushed me before sitting up again. "You're an asshole, but you're also a great, generous guy. If you think someone can love me, why would you think that no one could love you?"

Suddenly, a voice I wish I could forget rang through my head. _You're a horrible, disgusting, perverted little faggot that no one will ever love._ My father's words ran through my head for the millionth time since he'd said them to me right before he sliced me with a broken beer bottle. _You hear me? Perverts don't get the happy little ending your twisted mind came up with. No one will ever love you. No one ever has, no one ever will._

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to push those thoughts, those memories away. My father shouldn't have this kind of power over me all these years later, but the truth was that I'd heard those words repeated to me every single day for the past twelve years.

Shane grabbed my shoulders. "Hey, I heard what he said to you that day. None of it's true. _None_ of it. He's a homophobic asshole that was only trying to hurt you because he's a small-minded idiot that can't see anything that's not directly in his little tiny bubble. You're a good person, Jay. Look at everything you've done for me in this past year alone. You have a good heart, and you're allowed to love someone, no matter who that someone is."

I stared at my little brother for a long time as I tried to absorb everything he said. His words really hit home, and a small spark of hope lit in my heart. "When did you become so wise?"

Shane shrugged. "When I stopped letting our parents decide who I am." He shot me a little smile and pushed my shoulder. "So go get your man and stop moping. If _you_ don't get him, I'll be more than happy to hunt his ass down and find him myself."

I blinked at him for a moment as I processed his words. "Is this your way of telling me you're gay?"

His eyes went comically wide. "What? No! I meant I'd find him for _you_ , dumbass."

I couldn't help but laugh at the horrified look on his face, but then I sighed and thought for a few minutes. When Shane got up to walk out of my room, I said, "Fine. I'll talk to him, but I'm not making any promises."

"Good. And please take a shower, you stink." He said as he left, leaving my bedroom door open.

I sat there for a long time before grabbing my phone and staring at it. I thought about calling him, but I didn't know if I could handle hearing his voice without completely losing my shit, so I pulled up our text chain. It took me a long time to figure out what to type.

 _Me: Can we talk? I know you're working late tonight, so maybe we can have dinner tomorrow? I promise to make something weird and gross for you._

I pressed send, set the phone down and waited for a reply.

Only, one never came.

Even after I sent another text.

And another...

And another...

* * *

 **Done! Like I said, a shorter chapter that focused on James' reaction to Kendall leaving. Of course, James is hurting. But thankfully, Shane was there to snap him out of it. But it looks like James' troubles aren't over just yet, with Kendall not responding to him. James even sent a super cute text! Why am I so horrible to him?!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment! I'd also love to hear your thoughts on James' talk with Shane!**

 **Unfortunately, the next chapter more than likely won't be up until this weekend, but there will be other updates coming from me before then, so I won't be completely MIA. :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Why does it feel like it's been forever since I've updated this?**

 **Before we get into the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

It had been a whole week since I'd run out on James, and all I wanted to do was climb into my bed and never come back out. I couldn't remember ever feeling this horrible. James had sent me several texts this week, each one asking to talk, and I'd ignored them all. I knew I was being unfair, but I really couldn't handle him telling me that we could pretend it never happened, or worse, tell me that we could be fuck-buddies or something.

I just…couldn't handle it. At least not until I knew I could hide my true feelings from him. Maybe in a few more days it wouldn't hurt as much, and I could pretend I didn't care about him like that. That I didn't want to be with im in a way other than friendship. Maybe I could pretend myself into believing we could just be friends. But right now, it was too fresh, I was too raw, and it hurt too fucking bad.

I tuned back into my conversation, trying to shake the pain and hurt off.

"You promised you'd come." Dak said, ignoring my full-out begging.

" _Please_ , Dak? I can't be there."

"Sure, you can. And you promised."

"You don't understand… if I go, then I'll see him and I'll break into a million tiny pieces. Is that really what you want? For to break into little Kendall pieces? For me to _die_?" I asked, sticking my bottom lip out to add to the begging effect.

Dak rolled his eyes. "Actually, I _do_ understand, and that's exactly why you're going."

I leaned back against the wall and sunk to the floor. "Dak, please. Don't make me do this." Dak was having a party at his house tonight. He was doing a bonfire, and I'd heard earlier in the week that Carlos was making James go.

He leaned down and patted my cheek without saying anything before he walked into his office.

Jett was standing by the front desk, so I looked to him as my last resort. "Can't you do something about this?"

"Sorry, man, I'm with my husband on this one. You know how he is about breaking promises. Do you really want him mad at you for the rest of his life?"

"You suck." I sighed.

Jett just shrugged and turned back to whatever he was doing. Dustin walked over and held his hand out to pull me off the floor. Once I was standing, he patted me on my back and said, "You can hang with me and Alexa tonight. It won't be so bad."

"Your girlfriend's coming?"

He nodded. "She's looking forward to hanging out with all of us."

"Okay, fine. I'll be your third wheel." I sighed.

Dustin chuckled and pushed my shoulder. "Want me to pick you up on the way?"

I almost said no because I wanted the option of a quick escape, but then I thought about how I'd probably need alcohol to get myself through the night and that I could always call an Uber if I needed to leave early. "You wouldn't mind?"

"I'm picking up Alexa already, and your place is basically on the way from there, so no big deal."

"Okay, thanks."

He smiled, then walked to the front door to meet an incoming client.

XxX

We were one of the first ones to arrive at Dak's house, and when James got there an hour later, I'd already downed a couple drinks. As soon as he walked into the backyard, I turned my back to him because I didn't want him to see me. I wanted to crawl under my chair and pretend I was invisible. But knowing he was there, so close, made it impossible for me to ignore him completely. I had to at least see if he was okay. I had to know that he was fine without me.

So I looked over my shoulder at him and immediately let out an involuntary gasp. The sun wasn't fully down yet, so I could see how pale he looked, even from the corner of the backyard where I was hiding. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a mess. The only other time I'd ever seen him with even one hair out of place was that morning I'd woken up on the couch on top of him. _Is he sick? Was he sick all week?_

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before looking at him again. I was going to get up and see if he was okay, but Logan had thrown his arm over James' shoulders and was pulling him towards some of their work friends.

When I greeted one of James' coworkers, she casually mentioned that James had called out of work the past few days, so tonight was the first time she'd seen him all week. _Maybe he really is sick._ My chest hurt at the thought. I wanted to make him feel better, but I didn't think he'd want me to even try after the way I'd treated him this past week.

A little while later, I saw James standing off to the side of the yard by himself drinking a beer and seeming to be lost in space. Before I could walk over, I saw Dak start up a conversation with him, so I blew out a breath and decided that I needed a distraction.

I looked around to figure out what to do. The bonfire was going, but I didn't really want to just sit, so going over there was a no-go, but the buffet looked good. Food would be a good distraction. It'd give me something to do with my hands, something to focus on.

I walked over and got in line behind Logan. "Hey, Logan." When Logan didn't say anything I frowned, but figured that maybe he didn't hear me. "Hey." Logan glanced at me from the corner of his eye but didn't say anything back. "How was your week?" He still ignored me.

After going down the buffet line for, like, five minutes without Logan acknowledging me at all, even though I kept trying to get his attention, I turned and tapped his shoulder. "Why're you being such an asshole?"

He turned to me and I was surprised by the amount of anger in his gaze. I involuntarily took a step back. I had never seen him so angry, especially not at _me_. All of that anger just seemed so… out of place on his face.

His nostrils flared a bit before he ground out, "You broke my best friend." He turned on his heel and walked off without another word, leaving me blinking after him.

When the meaning of his words finally dawned on me, I sucked in a breath and looked over at James again. He was still hiding against the fence, looking almost like he was trying to melt into it. I was closer to him that I'd been before, and now I could see that his clothes were rumpled and his face unshaven, on top of the messy hair and dark circles under his eyes.

A stab of pain shot through my heart at the sight of him looking so unhappy. I'd never seen him look like that. He never went anywhere without putting himself together, and he certainly never wore that sad expression-the saddest expression I'd ever seen-on his face. At least, not when I was around.

 _I did this. This is all my fault._

I had to do something. I couldn't just stay away when the one person I cared about more than anyone else in the world looked the same way I felt. Heartbroken. I had to make him feel better. I _needed_ to. So I set my overflowing plate of food down and headed his way.

He saw me coming, but he didn't make eye contact before he looked at the ground and turned his body a little away from me. He even crossed his arms over his chest, and I could tell he was hoping it would shield him from me.

 _Fuck. What have I done?_

When I stepped in front of him, I bent down, trying to catch his eye, but he avoided looking at me. I hesitated for a moment, then decided I needed to do… something, anything to get him to look at me. So, I cupped James' cheeks, lifted his face and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"You left. Just like everyone else." He whispered back.

I closed my eyes as a stab of guilt shot through my chest. How could I have been so stupid? So selfish? Why hadn't I thought about what it looked like from his perspective? "James." I choked out. James' pain-filled eyes looked back at me, and I felt tears prick in the back of mine at seeing that heartbreak. That heartbreak that I was responsible for. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I rubbed his stubbled cheeks with my thumbs. "I wasn't… I didn't mean… I didn't think you wanted me to stay. I'm so sorry."

"I texted you and you ignored me."

"I know."

"I called you and you never answered."

"I know." I nodded and squeezed my eyes shut. "I was scared." I swallowed thickly, then opened my eyes. "Can we just…" I shrugged because I didn't even know what I wanted to ask.

 _Can we just be best friends again? Even though I want more than that? Can we pretend this last week didn't happen? Even though the feel of your lips was burned into my memory forever? Can we just move on from this? Even though I don't have a clue how or what that means?_

James looked away from me, making my hands fall from his face and fear fill my veins. Fear that I was losing him all over again. He ran a trembling hand through his hair before looking at me again.

"James, please… _please_ give me another chance." I wasn't above begging and pleading.

He rubbed his eyes with one hand, then looked at me with apprehension. "Promise me you won't run off or avoid me again."

A breath I didn't realize I was holding rushed from my lungs and I immediately responded. "I promise."

He searched my face for a few seconds before nodding. But he still looked so lost and miserable. So I did the only thing I could think of, the only thing I wanted to do in that moment. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to me. James was stiff for a few seconds before he blew out a breath and wrapped his arms around my waist. He tucked his face into my neck, and I squeezed him tighter to me as I felt his breath ghosting across my skin.

"I'm sorry." I whispered again. "I'm so sorry."

He nodded against me and pulled me tighter to him.

After a few minutes, I leaned back and cupped his cheeks again. "I promise I'll never run away or ignore you again. I swear to you. I know you don't believe me, but please just give me a chance to prove to you that I mean it."

He closed his eyes before nodding. "Okay." He still looked pained, exhausted, and heartbroken. I needed to cheer him up. I needed to make sure he was really going to be okay.

I pulled him back into a hug. "I missed you, Jay. I'm sorry I was an ass. I just… I don't know what we're doing, but I know that I don't want to stop. This week was the worst week of my life."

"I think you're exaggerating."

"Nope. It was definitely the worst. Everyone kept asking me if my dog died or something. I just… I'm sorry."

"I know you are." He was quiet for a minute and neither of us tried to break apart. I was perfectly okay with that. James turned his face into my neck and whispered against my ear, "We have an audience." His warm breath on my skin made me shiver.

"Huh?"

"I'm pretty sure that every single person at the party is staring at us right now."

"For fuck's sake." I let go of James and looked over toward the bonfire, seeing every-fucking-one staring, so I yelled, "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"

Dak smiled at us and called back, "I already did!"

I snorted out a laugh despite myself and flipped him off. All he did was smile wider before sitting on his husband's lap. I sighed and turned back to James. "Wanna get some food?"

He smiled a little, though it didn't reach his eyes and he still looked sad. "Of course, you'd be hungry."

"Obviously. Plus, free food." I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the buffet. "I haven't eaten all week." I cringed when I realized what I'd unintentionally brought up-freaking already.

"Me either."

I winced at that, then pulled his hand up to my mouth and placed a small kiss on the back of it. "Will you sit with me by the bonfire?"

He shot me a small smile as we let go and grabbed plates. "Sure."

I smiled back and made my way down the buffet line again since I didn't know where my first plate had gone.

"Uncle James?" I turned at the sound of Sammy's voice, seeing him get in line behind James.

"What's up, Sammy?" James asked.

"You're coming to my birthday party, right?" Sammy asked.

"Of course."

Sammy leaned forward and looked at me. "What about you?"

"I'll be there."

Sammy nodded and chewed on his bottom lip for a minute. "Is there any way you can convince Grandma to take it down a notch with my party? She's being insane."

I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing, but James laughed a little and tried to cover it up with a cough. "I'm sorry kiddo, but there is no way I'm asking Mrs. Garcia that. There's no amount of money you could pay me."

Sammy groaned. "Come on. Please? Pretty please?"

"No. I'd like to keep my head intact."

"Mr. Kendall? Could you?"

I looked at Sammy. "No way in hell."

"Ughh." Sammy groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. "You guys were my last hope."

I snickered at that. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I already asked everyone else while you guys were…" He waved in the general direction of where we'd hugged. "No one's willing to help me."

"That's because you're asking for an impossible task." James put his hand on Sammy's shoulder. "You're just going to have to deal with it, buddy. Your family is crazy."

"Ugh. Don't remind me."

"Hey, Sammy!" Logan yelled from the gate. "Your grandparents are here."

Sammy sighed and muttered, "See you guys later."

When Logan and Sammy walked out of the gate with baby Amelia and little Jacob in tow, I asked James, "What's that about? Is Logan leaving?"

"Nah. 'Los' parents are watching the kids tonight so they can stay out tonight."

"Oh… cool." I piled a third hotdog onto my plate. "Logan hates me." _Shit. I didn't mean to say that out loud._

"What? No, he doesn't."

I sighed. "He told me earlier that he hates me."

"No, he didn't."

"Okay, fine. He didn't actually say the words, but trust me, he hates my guts."

"He's just… he made me tell him what happened between," He waved between us. "And so he's, you know… he's just angry. But he doesn't hate you. No one could ever hate you."

That _so_ wasn't true, but I let the subject drop, not wanting to get into it anymore. I watched James put one hotdog on his plate, then stand there as if he was finished, and I frowned. I had at least three times as much stuff on my plate, and I was still trying to shove stuff on. "You can fit so much more."

James smirked a little, though he tried to hide it. "You can put your overflow on mine."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You sure?"

"Yep."

I shrugged, then grabbed two more hotdogs and put them on his plate. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Jalapeno."

A myriad of emotions rushed through me at his casual use of my nickname. I'd messed up so badly this past week and I hadn't realized until that very moment how much I'd needed him to say that, to show that he didn't completely hate me after what I'd done.

As if sensing my emotions, James put his hand on my back between my shoulder blades and rubbed, then ran his hand up to squeeze my shoulder. "Come on, Jalapeno, let's grab a seat."

I took a deep breath and slowly blew it out, then nodded and followed him to two open seats around the bonfire. As we sat there and I stuffed my face, James seemed to automatically pass me my hotdogs from his plate as soon as I wanted them, without me even asking. It was like he was reading my mind… or my stomach. Either way, it was so sweet and just so _James_.

After we finished eating, I grabbed a throw blanket that was sitting on my chair, then set it on the ground in front of James before sitting on it and leaning against his legs. I'd thought about climbing on his lap, but the last time I'd done that, we'd stopped talking for a week. But I needed to be near him, nearer than I could manage to get our chairs together when he was talking to his coworker-Camille, I thought-on the other side of him.

When he noticed me sitting on the ground, he leaned down and whispered, "You okay?"

"Mmhm. Just cold."

He didn't say anything and when I looked up, he was chewing on the inside of his cheek. But then he seemed to decide something because he nodded to himself and slid off his chair, right beside me on the blanket. Then he called across the fire, "'Los, can I have that blanket?"

Carlos turned, smirked at James, then passed the blanket to Jett beside him and the blanket slowly made its way over as everyone passed it around. James called out his thanks, unwrapped the blanket and put it over my shoulders and his own.

I smiled and leaned into him a little. "Thanks, Cupcake."

He huffed out a small laugh and shook his head, but the smile on his face reached his eyes this time.

We stayed there the rest of the night, drinking, talking, and laughing together with our friends. Eventually, James put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. It was the best feeling in the world.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like Kames are best friends again!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Next chapter will be up soon! I'm not exactly sure when, but you won't have to wait too long for it!**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before get to the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Guest, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up to the sound of voices arguing. After a few seconds, I recognized Kendall and Shane's voices, and there was one other voice that sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I got out of bed and ran a hand through my hair as I straightened out my t-shirt and sweatpants, then walked down the hall. I stopped short to take in the scene.

Shane was on one side of the living room wringing out his hands, and Kendall was on the other side, holding a bloodied towel to Ethan's face.

Apparently, Kendall's brother had shown up at my house while I was sleeping. Kendall had crashed on my couch last night because he didn't want to go home after the bonfire, though he wouldn't tell me why. Now I was wondering if it had something to do with his brother.

"What the fuck, Kendall?!" Shane yelled.

"Me?! You just punched my brother in the face, you asshole!"

"He was-"

"What the hell is going on here?" I asked loudly and crossed my arms, trying to look demanding so they'd all shut it and look at me. All three of them started yelling at once, so I held up my hand to stop them. "Kendall, tell me what's going on."

Kendall shot me a look of relief before talking a million miles a minute.

"Okay, so Ethan called me in the middle of the night to ask where I was. So I told him. But I didn't think he'd just show up. But a few hours later, he was banging on the door, so I let him in and he was upset and not making any sense. Then all of a sudden, Shane runs out here and punches him in the face, making him bleed everywhere. I'm pretty sure his nose is broken. Then Shane was trying to shove him out the door. And they were both screaming and yelling, and they wouldn't stop until I jumped between them. But then I got pushed into the fucking table and when I screamed, they both shut the fuck up long enough for me to seperate them and get some ice. But they still won't stop yelling at each other." He took a deep breath and blew it out.

"Are you okay?" I asked him immediately when I saw him press a hand to his side. I walked over to him as I processed everything he said during his verbal diarrhea. I made him sit on the couch. "Let me get you some ice."

Kendall waved me off. "I'm fine. Just make sure these two don't start going at it again."

I looked at my brother and pointed at the armchair. "You, there." I looked at Ethan and pointed at the loveseat. "You, there." I looked between all three of them. "Nobody move a muscle until I get back."

Shane's jaw clenched, but he nodded and Ethan shot me a nod, too. I patted Kendall's knee before going into the kitchen, grabbing a little towel and filling it with ice. I walked back into the living room, ignored the two brats, and knelt down in front of Kendall. I lifted the corner of his t-shirt, but he put his hand over mine to stop me. I looked up into his green eyes. "Please let me look." I said, watching as he huffed before releasing my hand. I gasped when I saw the dark bruise and bleeding cut on his hip. "Jesus."

"Jay, it's just a little cut." Kendall grabbed the towel from me and pressed it to his hip. "No big deal. But thanks for the ice."

"It _is_ a big deal. Those little shits hurt you."

"I'm fine."

I sat beside him and put my arm over his shoulders, then looked at our brothers. "What the fuck happened? You don't just go around punching people, Shane."

"I know. But I thought…" Shane trailed off, blushing a bit before waving at Ethan. "I thought he was attacking Kendall."

"Why the fuck would you think that?" Ethan asked before I could. The kid was bouncing his leg really fast and flicking his fingers in what I assumed was some kind of nervous tick.

Shane glared at him. "You were grabbing at him and pushing him." He looked at me. "Their arguing woke me up, and I ran out here to find some guy I don't know pushing Kendall around and I don't know, I just...reacted."

"He wasn't pushing me around." Kendall said.

"It sure as hell looked like he was."

"He was agitated and I was trying to stop him from pacing. He pushed me off of him." Kendall crossed his arms over his chest. "I didn't need your help. And how the hell do you think he got in here, anyway? You think I'm crazy enough to open the door for someone I don't know that looks agitated as fuck?"

"I don't…" Shane ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Obviously." Kendall muttered before looking at Ethan. "What are you doing here, ER?"

Ethan looked at Kendall, then glanced between Shane and me before refocusing on his brother and saying, "I... can't say." He gave Kendall a pointed look.

Kendall nodded, then turned to me. "Can I take him in your room to talk to him in private?" He asked quietly.

I eyed Ethan and frowned, but looked at Kendall and nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you." Kendall squeezed my knee before standing and pulling Ethan off the loveseat and dragging him down the hall.

I looked at my own brother. "Dude, what the fuck were you thinking?"

Shane sighed. "Look, that guy was fidgeting and yelling at Kendall. He grabbed his shoulders and shoved him so hard that Kendall bumped into the door. I thought he was on drugs or something, I don't know."

"He pushed him?"

Shane nodded.

I sighed and leaned back on the couch, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I need coffee for this." I muttered before getting up and heading into the kitchen.

Shane followed behind me. "You really think it's safe to have him in there alone with Kendall? What if he pushes him again?"

"He's fine, Shay."

"But he was-"

"Listen to me." I looked him in the eyes. "Kendall trusts him, okay? They're brothers and I think we need to stay out of it." I didn't want to betray Kendall's trust by telling Shane that he and Ethan had always protected each other growing up, and that Ethan was one of the only people Kendall had ever fully trusted. But I still wanted my brother to calm the fuck down. Especially this early in the morning.

Shane huffed. "Fine, whatever. I'm going back to bed, then." He walked out of the kitchen, clearly pissed at the world.

"Hey, Shay?"

"Hmm?" He looked over his shoulder at me.

"Thanks for trying to help. You didn't exactly go about it the right way, but thanks, anyway." The words sounded cheesy as hell, but I meant them. The fact that Shane cared enough about Kendall to react that way was actually really sweet.

He nodded, giving me a small smile before heading to his room.

I sat on one of the stools in the kitchen and drank my coffee. Once the caffeine kicked in, I'd start breakfast, but for now, I just needed to calm my nerves. Waking up to that and seeing Kendall hurt was about the worst thing I could imagine, and I needed to calm the hell down.

Plus, having Kendall in my room with someone that had just pushed him was making me antsy. Telling Shane we needed to trust Kendall with Ethan in there was easier said than done. I wanted to check on him. _Them_. Both of them, yeah.

When Kendall finally emerged thirty minutes later, I was still sitting on the stool. He walked into the kitchen and immediately headed for the cabinet to pull out a mug and stuff for coffee. He held his mug for a moment before turning towards me and leaning against the counter with his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I really hope you're not gonna be pissed, but I made Ethan lay down in your bed to get some sleep. He's been kind of worried all night and hasn't slept in over twenty-four hours."

I waved him off. "That's fine. What's going on? Is he okay?"

Kendall blew out a breath before nodding slightly. "Physically, he's fine now that the bleeding has stopped, but emotionally… I'm not so sure."

When he stopped talked, I asked, "What's going on?"

"He ran into one of his foster dads yesterday. The guy he was with before we were placed together. Let's just say that he had a bad experience with him."

I stared at Kendall for a while attempting to understand exactly what he was trying to say. "I can understand him being upset, but why did he come over and push you?"

"He…" Kendall chewed on the inside of his cheek for a few seconds. "He couldn't sleep in my apartment by himself because the power went out and he was having bad memories. Flashbacks or whatever. Being alone in the dark doesn't sit well with him, especially after that run-in, so when he came over, he wasn't in a good headspace. I shouldn't have tried grabbing him the way I did. It was my fault he pushed me. I knew he'd react that way, but I thought I could snap him out of it."

He turned and started making his cup of coffee. "He feels terrible and wouldn't stop apologizing, but it really wasn't his fault. Anyway, now that the sun's out and I'm here, too, he should be able to sleep. Or at least I hope so, because he's exhausted." He looked over his shoulder at me. "Are you okay with me hanging out here for a while?"

"Of course." I still didn't really understand what was going on with Ethan, but I could tell that Kendall was trying to be evasive while still answering me. Clearly, the kid in there had been abused somehow, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to know the details of it. I cleared my throat. "Are you sure he's okay in there by himself?"

"Yeah, I'll check on him in a little while. He wanted to be left alone, just not...completely alone, I guess."

I nodded. "Okay, well, you wanna make some breakfast?"

"Can we just eat some cereal and sit on the couch or something?" At my nod to his question, Kendall sent me a small smile before saying softly, "Thanks for being so understanding, James." He walked over to me and placed a small kiss on my cheek.

Something weird fluttered in my chest at the gesture, and I found myself reaching out to brush his bangs off his forehead. After spending this last week apart, and realizing how much the small moments like this meant to me, I didn't want to waste any more of them. I grabbed Kendall's hand and pulled him into the living room, making him sit on the couch. "I'll grab the cereal and everything, you find something to watch."

He nodded before I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed bowls, spoons, cereal, and milk, then took everything back into the living room and set it on the table. I sat beside him on the couch, right next to him so our legs were touching, and he started a show as we both fixed our bowls.

I'd missed this easy closeness we had, which was something I'd never had before with anyone else. I was a little hesitant to test the bounds too much after he'd run and ignored me for a week, but I was also trying to forgive him and believe him when he'd said he would never do that again. It was hard for me to believe him, especially since I knew that our friendship would come to an end eventually, but I wanted it to last as long as possible. I liked Kendall, more than I probably should, and not seeing him this last week had hurt me more than I'd ever admit to anyone, so I was praying that we wouldn't have a repeat anytime soon.

Once we finished eating and set our bowls back down, I jumped up to throw the milk in the fridge, and as soon as I sat back down, Kendall scooted close, tucking his arm into mine and bending his knees, leaning his legs on my thigh and his cheek on my shoulder. I put my hand on his thigh and settled against him, happy to have him close.

We stayed that way for a while, and when Shane finally came back out of his room a little after noon, he didn't even bat an eye at us, apparently used to seeing us cuddling on the couch. I did notice that Kendall tensed a little when he came out, and he followed his movements with his eyes.

"You know he was only trying to help, right?" I whispered low enough that my brother wouldn't be able to hear.

"I know." Kendall sighed before pressing his cheek more firmly against me. "Do you think he hates me now?"

"Why in the world would he hate you?"

"Because it was my brother that came over and messed shit up this morning, and instead of yelling at _my_ brother, I yelled at yours."

"He doesn't hate you. I think he feels bad for hitting Ethan, though."

Kendall sighed again and Shane walked out, plopping into the armchair with a bag of chips. "What're you guys watching?"

I told him as he noisily opened the chip bag.

Kendall suddenly said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Shane waved him off. "It's okay. I deserved it. I'm sorry I punched your brother."

Kendall sent him a half-smile and a nod.

"You should probably apologize to Ethan when he wakes up." I added.

"He's still here?"

"Yeah, he's sleeping in my room." I said, deciding to change the subject before Shane made an ass out of himself with some rude comment. "Do you guys want to order Chinese or something for lunch? Do you know what Ethan likes so he'll have food when he wakes up?" Normally, I'd just cook something, but I was too comfortable sitting on the couch with Kendall. And honestly, after such a long, terrible, and exhausting week of sulking, I was too worn out to cook.

As if reading my mind, Kendall looked at me with a frown. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

He eyed me for a moment before nodding. "Okay. And yeah, I know what he likes."

"Perfect. Shane, can you go get a menu?"

Surprisingly, my brother didn't complain about needing to get up or anything like he normally did.

Kendall and I didn't move until the food was delivered, but right after we finished eating, we resumed our previous positions. We didn't even move when Ethan finally woke up and joined us. I lost track of how long we stayed that way, but when Kendall finally got up and went home that evening, I instantly missed the heat of his body next to mine.

* * *

Ethan went into the bathroom, muttering to himself because the power was still out, so I called James on my cell.

After he answered, I said, "I feel kinda weird asking you this since we were just there, but I don't really know what else to do. Ethan's sorta freaking out. The power is still out in my apartment, and it's stuffy and gross since the AC isn't working and he's being a little… crazy about it. Do you think we could maybe crash at your place tonight?" He didn't say anything, so I quickly added. "I know you only have the one couch, so Ethan can sleep on it, and I can just sleep on the floor or something. It'll be more comfortable than sleeping in this muggy-ass place."

"That's stupid."

I blinked in surprise for a moment before frowning. I'd really thought he wouldn't mind. Maybe we weren't as okay as I'd thought. "Oh, okay. Sorry. I can just ask… Dak or Dustin or someone."

He made a weird noise that almost sounded like a growl, though what the hell he was growling about, I didn't know. "No. That's not what I meant. I mean it's stupid to have you sleep on the floor when I have a perfectly fine bed."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the floor." I said in protest.

James sighed, as if he was annoyed, but he also sounded a little amused, too. "Also, not what I meant, Jalapeno. My bed is huge, so we can both fit on it fine."

"You want me to sleep… with you?"

" _Just_ sleep. I promise I can be good." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Uh… are you sure that's a good idea?"

"It's not a big deal, Ken. You're little. I'm sure I won't even know you're there."

I bit back a laugh that wanted to escape. "I'm. Not. Little. You. Asswipe."

"Keep telling yourself that, _Little_ Jalapeno." He laughed.

A snort-laugh accidentally escaped, and I bit my lip to prevent any further sound from escaping my mouth. He totally noticed, though, because he laughed. _Fine. Point, James._

"Are you sure you don't mind, Cupcake?"

"I don't mind at all."

I blew out a relieved breath, then walked to my bedroom to find some clothes. "Thank you for being so understanding, Jay. I appreciate this more than you know."

"No problem."

"I'll see you soon. Want me to pick something up for dinner on the way?"

"Nah, I'm already cooking and there's plenty for both of you."

I smiled at his sweetness. "Thanks, Cupcake. I'll see you soon."

We hung up and I yelled to my brother, "We're staying with James tonight. Pack a bag, buttwipe."

"Dickface." He yelled back a moment before he stopped at my bedroom door. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank James. And Shane, for that matter."

Ethan nodded, giving me a small smile. "Yeah, okay." He disappeared, presumably to get some fresh clothes.

When we made it back to James', I threw my bag in his bedroom-it was weird doing that-then we all sat down and ate dinner. The tension between Shane and Ethan was palpable, but it seemed like they were both, at the very least, trying to be pleasant to each other. And it seemed that all was forgiven between them, thank god.

By the time we finished dinner and set up Ethan's makeshift bed on the couch, I was exhausted. I felt weird going into James' bedroom with him, but I was so worn out that I didn't care too much, well, not until he shut his bedroom door. I turned and looked at him, chewing the inside of my cheek. When he looked at me and lifted a brow in question, I spun on my heel and grabbed my bag. "I'm gonna go change." I said before practically running to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath, trying to relax. I whispered to my reflection, "It's only weird if you make it weird… which you already have by running out of there like a fucking weirdo." I sighed again, then got changed and brushed my teeth. I took a deep breath before exiting the bathroom and walking back into the bedroom… where James was already lying back on his bed in his sweatpants and t-shirt with his hands behind his head.

James glanced at me. "You alright?"

"Uh, yeah. I just had to take a leak real bad." I cringed internally but ignored the weirdness and set my bag down. Then I stared at the bed, unsure of what to do.

James looked like he was holding back a smile as he patted the spot on the bed beside him and said, "Come on. I promise I don't bite."

"What if I like biting?" _Shit. What am I doing?_

James snorted out a small laugh, then flicked the covers down so I could crawl in beside him. Once I was lying on my back, he reached over and turned off the lamp. "Is your brother going to be okay out there?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine. He just… I don't know, he had a setback, I guess."

"That's understandable after seeing that guy."

"I know, it just sucks that he's still tormented by what the bastard did."

"I know… I'm sorry."

We fell silent for a while, then James whispered, "Ken?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're here."

I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. I knew he meant he was glad that I was here after I'd ignored him last week. He sounded so sincere that it was melting me into a pile of goo. "Me too." I whispered back, trying-and failing-to hide my emotions. I took a deep breath before scooting over and putting my head on his shoulder. Almost immediately, he put his arm around me.

When I was almost asleep, I whispered, "I'm really sorry, James."

"You don't have to-"

"I do, though. I'm sorry."

He gently squeezed me, so I put my arm over his chest and hugged him back.

I hadn't been planning on cuddling with him, but now that I was lying on his chest, I didn't want to move away, so I snuggled down. I wasn't sure how he'd receive that kind of affection, but after a slight hesitation, he pulled me even closer and turned on his side a little so he could wrap both of his arms around me. He sighed into my hair, and I smiled into his chest.

Today had been a trying day, and right after such a horribly long and terrible week, so I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Having James hold me, though, was helping drain all the terrible feelings out of my body. Plus, he smelled really good and was super comfy. I sorta never wanted to move. Ever.

Before I realized it, I was falling asleep, breathing him in.

* * *

 **Done! So, more Kames this chapter! We also got a bit of Shane and Ethan this chapter, along with the reveal that Ethan ran into one of his foster parents who was apparently abusive.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved hearing your thoughts on Kames'...reunion (of sorts) last chapter! And I'm really glad you all like the nicknames! They will definitely make more appearances! :P**

 **The next chapter will be up this weekend, so until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with another chapter!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, annabellex2, Riku child of Dawn, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up to an empty bed and frowned. I'd slept better last night than I had in a long time, and I sorta wished Kendall was still in my bed so we could sleep in. I liked cuddling with him, as much as I didn't want to admit it. My heart had pounded in my chest when he'd put his head on my shoulder last night. Having him close to me had stirred up so many emotions, I couldn't even begin to decipher them. I wasn't really sure I wanted to, either.

I sighed, then sat up and headed into the bathroom to take care of business before searching out Kendall. I quietly made my way out to the living room, surprised to see Ethan still asleep on my couch. Hearing a little noise coming from the kitchen, I headed that way and found Kendall's lean, sleek body standing at the stove. He was quietly humming to himself and wiggling his ass a little, completely unaware that I was creeping on him. But I couldn't help it. He was sexy and sort of adorable at the same time.

Before I even knew my intention, I walked into the kitchen and stepped up right behind him. He startled at first, but didn't move away, so I pressed my chest to his back and wrapped one arm around his waist. He leaned back into me, and before I could stop myself, I bent down and kissed the crook of his neck, right above his t-shirt collar. We both froze.

 _What the hell am I doing?_

I started to step away. Kendall wasn't a hookup or fuck-buddy, and definitely not my boyfriend. I had no right to walk in there and hold him and kiss him so intimately, even if it felt natural when I did it.

As soon as I stepped away, Kendall grabbed my hand and pulled me closer, leaning back against me again. He whispered in an almost shy voice, "Morning." He sounded unsure and timid. And I didn't like it. He had no reason to suddenly be shy around me, not after we'd been friends- _amazing_ friends-for the past few months.

To make him feel better, I stepped back against him and wrapped my other arm around his waist, too, pulling him tight to my body. When he melted into me a little, I leaned down, pushing my nose into his hair. For a moment I was surprised not to smell his apple shampoo, but then I smiled when I realized he smelled like my shampoo since he'd taken a shower here yesterday. For reasons I didn't want to explore, it made me happy that he smelled like me. "Good morning, Jalapeno." I muttered.

He relaxed even further into me when I used his nickname. After staying that way for a minute, Kendall cleared his throat and said in a husky voice, "I was gonna make you breakfast in bed as a thank you for letting us stay here and… well, for everything you've done this weekend, really."

I pressed my nose further into his hair, not ready to move away from him yet. "You don't need to thank me."

"I know, but I want to."

Kendall suddenly turned in my arms to face me. He searched my eyes with his own and hesitantly reached out to place his hand on the side of my neck. He blew out a breath, which I felt brush across my chin and neck. Then the be placed a small kiss on my lips. I was shocked stupid for a moment. The kiss was practically over before it began, but it had been the last thing I'd expected him to do. His hand was still on my neck, and he brushed his thumb up and down my skin while smiling softly at me. "Thank you, Cupcake." My heart did a weird fluttering in my chest at the sweet gestures.

But then he was turning around and pulling away to finish cooking the sausage and eggs on the stove, and the fluttering stopped at the sudden distance from him.

I was so damn tempted to move back behind him, but I wasn't sure if it'd be a welcome gesture a second time. So I sat on the kitchen stool and watched him instead.

"You have to work today, right?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Yeah, I'll have to leave in about an hour so I have time to run ER home and pick up Beau on the way."

"Beau?"

"Yeah, he's working the wedding with me."

A weird thing happened in my chest at the thought of Kendall spending time alone in the car with this guy I hardly knew. Kendall and Beau. Alone together. All day long. I sucked in a shaky breath.

Kendall looked over his shoulder at me. "What?"

I tried to push down the irrational anger. "I've only met Beau a couple times. He's not very… talkative."

Kendall eyed me, making a weird face as he started plating the food. "He's a very private person, I guess."

I grunted in response, and Kendall's weird look turned into a furrow.

"You okay?"

I nodded, then cleared my throat trying to rid myself of the weird sensations running through my entire body. I sorta wanted to punch something. "I can take Ethan home if you want. That way I can bring him back here if the power's still out."

Kendall smiled as he walked over to the kitchen island and set our plates down. "Actually, my neighbor texted me. The power came back on in the middle of the night, so we're all good. You'll have the bed all to yourself tonight."

The prospect of that was about as appealing as jumping into an icy lake naked. I grunted again and shoveled a bit of food in my mouth to hide my frown.

After a few minutes, Kendall asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Jalapeno."

He set his fork down and turned his entire body toward me as he assessed me. "You can always talk to me if you're not, Jay. I hope you know that."

That made me smile, just a little. "Thanks, but I'm okay."

He took a deep breath before reaching over and running his hand through my hair. Then he slid off his stool and kissed my cheek before climbing back up and resuming eating as if nothing had happened, or as if it was completely normal for him to kiss me like that. Not that I was complaining, not at all. His little kisses made me feel… lighter somehow.

I shot him a smile, then resumed eating, too.

When we finished, Kendall woke Ethan up, then went to grab a shower and get ready for work while Ethan joined me in the kitchen and ate breakfast. Once they were all set, I walked Kendall and Ethan to the door. Ethan waited in the hall while Kendall and I stared at each other. I didn't know why I felt awkward saying goodbye to him. Maybe it was because I didn't want him to go. Maybe it was because I didn't know exactly where we stood after sleeping in bed together and those odd-but sort of wonderful-kisses in the kitchen.

"Thanks again for letting us crash here." Kendall eventually said.

"Please stop thanking me. I didn't do anything."

One corner of his mouth lifted up in amusement. Then he suddenly stepped closer and put his hand on my cheek. I took a shuddering breath at the contact as a shiver went through my body. When Kendall slowly closed the distance between us, I glanced at his lips a split second before he pressed them to mine.

I moaned at the surprise contact, then closed my eyes and grabbed onto his waist, careful not to touch his bruise. Kendall started to pull away, but there was no way I was letting him get away with another little peck, not when I'd been thinking-and dreaming-about the first time he'd kissed me. I wanted more. More of him, his taste, his smile, his everything, just _more_. I surged forward, pressing our lips harder together and causing him to moan this time.

I slid one hand to his lower back and pulled him flush to me. Both of his hands went into my hair and he licked his tongue along my lower lip. I couldn't help but smile against his lips before opening up and deepening the kiss. When his tongue brushed my own, a jolt of electricity ran through my entire body, making me moan again and wrap my arms tighter around him.

His kissing became more desperate as he leaned into me and tugged my head closer, devouring my mouth like a starved man. I loved it. I slid my hands under his shirt so I could feel his soft skin. He whimpered into my mouth and rutted against me. I could feel his erection against my thigh, and I had no doubt he could feel mine against his stomach. We both rutted our hips and deepened the kiss even further.

When someone cleared their throat behind me, we both broke the kiss, but didn't pull apart. We panted with our mouths only an inch apart, breathing the same air, and I didn't loosen my hold on him. It took me a minute to come back to myself and realize where we were and who had cleared their throat. My brother stood behind me, I could hear him sighing, and Kendall's brother stood only a few feet from us, as well.

They probably didn't appreciate the show we were giving them, but I wasn't ready to let Kendall go yet. I knew he had to leave or he'd risk being late for work, but I needed him close, just for another minute.

So I took my hands out from under his shirt and put one behind his head, gently, and the other over the top of his clothes on his lower back, and held him close. I slowly leaned back in and nibbled on his bottom lip, then ran my tongue over it before pressing our lips together in a gentle kiss. I could tell that Kendall was holding back, ready to attack my mouth again, but after a moment, he melted against me and returned the slow, sweet kiss, sighing into my mouth.

When we finally pulled back, he smiled at me and brushed my cheeks with his fingertips "I really have to leave, Cupcake." He whispered.

"I know."

"But I'll see you on Wednesday, right?"

 _Oh, he asked me to come over for dinner. Right._

"Yes."

"And you'll still go with me to Sammy's birthday party next weekend, right?"

"Yes, definitely." I nodded.

He searched my eyes, then smirked and said, "I guess you're my date for the party, then."

I blinked in surprise at him for a moment before swallowing loudly and taking a deep breath. Was he being serious or just joking around? Normally, a date would freak me the fuck out, but as I thought about the implications, and the fact that this was _Kendall_ , I found that I could get over my freak-out. If going on a date meant I'd get to spend time with Kendall, plus kiss him and touch him, then it'd be worth it. At least, I hoped it would be. I took a deep breath, then managed to choke out, "I guess so."

Kendall looked surprised at first, but then his smirk turned into a full-blown smile and he pecked my lips. "I'll talk to you later, Cupcake."

I nodded, unable to get any words out. But right before he slipped out of my arms completely, I quickly kissed him again, eliciting another smile from him as he walked out the door.

As soon as the door shut behind him, I released a huge breath and turned around, almost running into my brother.

Shane lifted a brow, a smirk on his lips. "I thought you said he wasn't your boyfriend."

I pursed my lips, then decided to ignore it. "There's a plate for you in the fridge. Don't burn down the kitchen when you heat it up."

He flipped me off as he walked into the kitchen, and I ran into my bedroom needing some privacy to figure out what the hell just happened out there.

* * *

James picked Ethan and me up from my apartment for the birthday party, and when we got to his car, I wasn't surprised to find Shane and Emily in the back seat together. Ethan squeezed into the back seat, and I sat up front with my… date?

When I'd said it to James, I'd been joking. Well, kind of joking. Maybe I'd been hoping that he'd take it seriously, but I certainly hadn't expected it. And I honestly still wasn't sure if he _had_ taken it seriously, or if he'd just been playing along. So I was _maybe_ on a date with the guy I'd been fantasizing about dating for months.

"Are you okay?" James asked me as we drove.

"I'm fine." My voice came out in a very unmanly squeak that made me snap my mouth shut and clear my throat.

James shot me a strange look before he looked back at the road. "What's going on, Jalapeno?"

"Nothing." I muttered as I sunk down in my seat a little. I _so_ wasn't talking about this in a car full of people. Hell, I probably wouldn't be able to say anything even if it was only James in the car with me. Not that I had a problem talking to him. Normally. But this was different. If I asked if he'd been serious, if this was a real date, and he said no, well, I'm pretty sure I would die of a broken heart. _So better to just wait it out and see what happens._

James shot me another look but didn't reply. He did, however, reach over the console and place his hand on my thigh. After giving my thigh a squeeze, he turned his hand over and left it there, open, like his palm was freaking looking up at me. It took me way longer than I'd ever admit to realize that he was waiting for my hand.

Luckily, he was patient and waited until I slid my hand into his. He laced our fingers together and sent me a gentle smile. There was a flutter in my chest at the sweet gesture, and his touch on my hand helped settle my nerves about the day.

"You look amazing." James said after a while.

I looked down at my outfit. I'd gone all out for the black and white themed party and bought myself a new outfit. I had on a sheer black collared shirt-not exactly modest, but hey, it was hot out-white shorts, and black Vans. Even my sunglasses matched with white rims. "Thank you." I said before looking over at James. He had on black shorts and a black polo that looked like it was made from jersey material. "I like your shirt."

He grinned at me.

"You have me to thank for that." Shane said with a smirk. "I made him borrow that from me because, like a moron, he was gonna come in a black t-shirt that had a ton of red writing on it."

I smiled and shook my head at James. "You're lucky your brother had that or you would've ruined the whole party."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?" He grinned and squeezed my hand.

After he parked the car and everyone got out, James walked to his trunk, so I followed while the others headed inside together. It seemed like our brothers were friends or something now. Who knew? As long as they weren't trying to beat each other up anymore.

When James opened the trunk revealed two cases of beer, I frowned and said, "Shit. I didn't think we were supposed to bring anything other than a gift."

"Well, technically, we weren't. I just figured it would be nice to contribute."

"Yeah, but now I look like an asshole for not bringing anything. I mean, his present fits in my pocket, and here you are with all of that. You should've told me. Now I have to walk in empty handed with you, the hero of the party."

James grinned, looking like he was holding in a laugh. "Wow, you're on the overly dramatic side today."

"Am not." Because I was an awesome adult, I stuck my tongue out at him.

His grin grew. "I'm pretty sure when you go to a party with a date, you only need one thing between the two of you."

I sucked in a breath at that. _Did he just say what I think he said?_ "Date?"

He furrowed his brow at me. "Yes?" He frowned and suddenly looked insecure.

 _Shit._ I smiled at him. "I guess I didn't think about it that way. I'm not used to having a date at these things." His frown turned into a hesitant smile, so I scooted closer to him, shoulder-bumped him and said, "Thanks for bringing me with you, Cupcake."

He finally smiled wide. "I only brought you so you can carry the beer."

I snorted out a laugh. "Asshat."

"Mmhmm. You love it."

"You wish."

He chuckled and grabbed a case. "You wanna put the other case on top?"

"No, I'll carry it so it looks like I helped with this plan." I reached in and grabbed it as he laughed, then shut the trunk and we headed inside.

As soon as we walked through the gate of the backyard, Carlos came running over. "Oh my gosh, you guys didn't have to bring that. Thank you."

"Hey, Carlos." I said and he grabbed the case from me, setting it down before pulling me into a hug.

Carlos leaned toward James and said in a mock-whisper, "Your date is adorable."

My eyes widened, but James just laughed and said, "He is, isn't he?"

My eyes widened even further. _Am I dreaming right now?_

Carlos chuckled. "Follow me, lovebirds!" I expected James to get weird about that comment, but he didn't even flinch. _I guess he_ is _used to Carlos and his big mouth. He's almost as bad as Dak._

James shook his head, but followed behind his friend. It took me a few seconds to gain my composure before I followed behind them, even though I was no longer carrying anything. After they both set the cases down beside the coolers on the patio, Carlos picked up a disposable camera from the nearest table and handed it to James.

"So obviously you guys already know my mother is insane." Carlos said, which was true. The backyard looked like it had exploded with black and white decorations. Pinatas, streamers, balloons, a photobooth, masks, and everything was black and white. So over the top, but also so freaking awesome.

Carlos continued as I looked over the decorations. "She had these left over from Dak and Jett's wedding, so she wants everyone to use them up today since Sammy's into photography. We'll give you any good pictures you take. You guys can share that one." He pointed to the disposable camera. I wrinkled my nose at it because those cameras sucked. I should've brought mine.

"Sure." James said, stuffing the camera in his pocket and sending me the tiniest one-shoulder shrug ever, as if he didn't want Carlos to see that he had no intention of using the camera. How I understood what that miniscule movement meant, I really didn't know. I sent a soft smile back.

Carlos started adding the beers to the cooler, ignoring our exchange. "Run along, lovebirds. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." He said with a wink.

James just shook his head at him, then looked at me with a little smile. "Want to check out the food table? I know that's the only reason you come to parties."

"You know me so well." _Point, James. Not that I keep track anymore._ I chuckled and followed him into the first floor of the house where most of the food was because it was so hot and humid outside in August.

"The way to your heart is through your stomach, obviously."

I laughed and pushed him. "You better feed me, then."

He looked over his shoulder at me, and the smile he sent me took my breath away. I expected him to have a smirk on his face, but he just looked so… sweet that I melted a little bit. When he stopped at the crowded table, I couldn't see anything, so I put one hand on his lower back and one on his arm before leaning forward so I could get a better look. I totally wasn't using it as an excuse to get closer to him. Nope, not at all.

"Oh my god." James suddenly started laughing.

"What?" I looked around and didn't see anything funny or anyone else laughing. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

James turned around knocking my hands off him-I ignored the fact that I missed the contact immediately-but when I went to back up, he stopped me by grabbing my forearm. I bit back the smile that such a simple touch was forcing out. He was still laughing and had his other hand behind his back. "Close your eyes."

"What? No way Jose."

"Come on. You like to eat weird shit all the time, and I know for a fact that you like this."

I tried to look behind him, but he held on to my arm and expertly blocked me. "Ugh. What is it?"

"Close your eyes."

I narrowed my eyes at him.

He laughed. "Close them."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Open your mouth."

"Dude, I swear to God if you put something other than food in my mouth I will kick your ass."

"I promise it's food. I won't do anything gross, I swear. Trust me."

I sighed again because he had me with the whole _trust_ thing. He was probably the person I trusted the most, if I really thought about it. I reluctantly opened my mouth.

He moved close to me so that I could feel his breath brush across my cheek. "Don't suck in a bunch of air when you eat this, it's spicy."

Before I could respond to that cryptic message, he shoved something weird in my mouth. I held it on my tongue for a moment trying to figure out what the hell is was. It felt...crusty. _Ew._ I wrinkled my nose as I hesitantly bit into it. A burst of flavor hit my mouth, and I tried-and fucking failed at trying- _not_ to suck in a huge breath. Unfortunately, I breathed in and the spice got caught in my throat making me cough, although, I was laughing too. "Ath-hole." I could hear James cracking up as I chewed up the goddamn jalapeno popper and swallowed it once I stopped coughing.

My eyes were watering, so I wiped them before punching James' arm. "You asshole!" I couldn't help the laughter bubbling out of me.

James was laughing, too. "I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd choke."

"I didn't know it'd be that fucking spicy, you asshat. Not enough warning."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side because we were officially blocking the food table. "I'm sorry." He said again, though he couldn't seem to wipe the huge-ass smirk off his face.

"You're lucky you're hot, otherwise, I would have to punch that pretty face of yours."

"You say the sweetest things."

"Shut up." I chuckled.

He smiled. "Are you okay?"

I waved him off. "You know that I get to do that to you now, right?"

His eyes went wide. "No, that wasn't part of the deal."

"It's implied. Check the Best Friend's Handbook."

"I don't remember that rule being in there."

"It's in section D, number 3-A, paragraph 5."

He bit his lips together, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

"You could always enact the clause in there that states you can trade one bet for a dare… but I would get to pick the dare."

"You're ridiculous." He chuckled.

"Hey, you're the one that came up with the handbook, so I think that makes you ridiculous-er. Obviously."

He laughed and grabbed my hand. "Let's get a plate and something to drink."

"Sound like a plan."

I smiled as he led me back over to the table, then proceeded to pile food on my plate for me, even making sure to leave room on his plate for my overflow. We headed back outside and found a table with an umbrella for shade. James grabbed us each a beer from one of the coolers before sitting beside me. Our brothers, Emily, Beau, Dustin, and his girlfriend, Alexa, ended up joining us at the table, and after we finished eating, I got up to throw away our trash and get us more beers.

When I came back to the table, I stopped in my tracks and frowned. Tristan was sitting in my seat. Tristan was this tall, thin artist guy with dark hair and freckles that was friends with Dak. I didn't know him that well, although he seemed like a nice guy. But since he was friends with Dak, it meant that he knew James. And from the looks of it, he knew James well. _Very_ well.

I narrowed my eyes as I set James' beer in front of him and stood awkwardly beside the table. Tristan looked up at me and said, "Hey, Kendall. Shit, I'm in your seat, aren't I?" He hopped up without waiting for an answer. "Sorry."

"It's okay, you didn't have to get up." I said.

He waved me off and grabbed an empty chair from the table beside ours. As I sat down in my chair, Tristan set his chair right beside me. In. Between. Me. And. James.

I frowned, but didn't say anything, because what could I say? You're between me and my date? I mean, yeah, maybe I could've said that, but he and James were friends. I didn't want to sound like an asshole. And Tristan was a cool guy.

Or I thought he was cool until he started hanging all over my James. _My James… yeah, that's right. My freaking James, Tristan!_ I glanced over at James with a frown. If I could really, actually, make him _my James_ , I would in a heartbeat. Right now, I'd settle for him being _my date_ , though. I mean, I knew we hadn't even gone on a real date and that I'd been partially joking when I'd said he'd be my date for the party, mostly because I thought he'd freak out, but then he didn't. And now all I wanted was to just spend time with him… as my date.

James leaned forward, past Tristan, and mouthed _I'm sorry_ to me and shot me an apologetic smile before listening to Tristan talk. I watched them for a minute and couldn't help but notice that James was kinda standoffish and tense. He wasn't normally like that. I mean, we were just goofing off a few minutes ago, and here he was looking like that asshole guy I'd thought he was before we were friends. My frown deepened.

Shane was on the other side of me, and he leaned in and poked my cheek. "What's with the deep scowl?"

I shrugged.

Shane followed my line of sight and sighed. "You should just tell Tristan that you guys are together. He'll back off, he just doesn't know any better."

Before I could say anything, Tristan gasped and said, "Shit, he's coming over here."

I looked around for the culprit of Tristan's sudden panic and saw Hunter making his way over to our table. I didn't know Hunter very well, but he was really close with Jett. The only thing I really knew about Hunter was that he was a dancer, and he played nerdy board games with Jett every week. Other than that, not much except the fact that he was hot, and I totally groped his arm muscles once. And I think I may or may not have made out with him a little bit later that same night. Okay, obviously I'd flirted with the guy, but that was a long time ago.

I looked back at Tristan and how he'd scooted even closer to James, and I finally realized what he was doing. He was trying to either protect himself and show Hunter that he was with someone, or he was just trying to make Hunter jealous. I didn't know if it was working on Hunter or not, but _my_ little green monster was definitely front and center every time Tristan grabbed James' biceps.

I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled at them. James was so very clearly uncomfortable. He was stiff and tense and kept trying to subtly remove Tristan's hands, but the guy seemed totally oblivious. I was so close to getting up and just sitting on James' lap to claim my territory like some kind of caveman. Whatever. At least I was only _thinking_ about it. Although, after this weird thing with Hunter passed, all bets were off.

Until then, I was trying not to hate Tristan too much because he clearly needed help dealing with whatever the hell was going on between him and Hunter. _I don't hate Tristan. He's a good guy. He's James' friend. You don't wanna murder James' friend, you_ don't _wanna murder James' friend!_

Hunter stopped at our table and pulled on his collar. "Hey, guys." He nodded at Tristan. "Tris."

Everyone said their hellos, except Tristan, who seemed to be freezing under pressure. And of course, he'd have to freeze with his hands still on James' biceps. I clenched my jaw at the sight.

Hunter turned and said something to Dustin's girlfriend that I couldn't hear. It looked like he knew her, maybe they danced together or something. Who knew? The whole time, Hunter kept shooting Tristan looks that I couldn't decipher, and the tension between them was palpable. I wasn't too sure it was the good kind of tension, either.

After Hunter and Alexa fell silent, there was an awkward minute that I couldn't take, so I jumped in. "So, Hunter, how's performing going?" Hunter performed with a dance company, but he also taught classes at a local studio.

He smiled shyly and pulled on his collar again. "It's going really great. We've had shows booked every weekend this summer, and we're still booked into next month."

"That's awesome. You should give your schedule to Jett for me. Maybe I can make it to one of your shows." I smiled at him. He was not the enemy. Tristan was. _Okay, neither one of them were but, damn it, get off of James._

Hunter's eyes lit up, but he still stood there timidly. He was so incredibly shy, but Dak had told me that he was like a completely different person when he was dancing. "I'll make sure to get it to him." Hunter said.

"Thanks, man. I love stuff like that. I don't think I've ever been to a dance-only show, though. I think it would be awesome."

He smiled at me, then looked around the table again, his eyes settling on Tristan. He frowned, but then looked at me with a forced smile. "Well, I just wanted to come say hi. I'll see you later."

"See ya." I said as the others said bye.

After he walked away, I sighed and looked over at James, who shot me a pleading look. I didn't know why he hadn't just said something to Tristan or, I don't know, just got out of his damn seat and moved away, but the poor guy looked like he was truly stuck. _Guess it's time for drastic measures._

I got out of my seat and walked around to the other side of James. Tristan was still clinging to his biceps, but he looked like he was in another world. I grabbed James' other hand and said, "You don't mind if I steal my _date_ back, do you, Tristan?" I made sure to emphasize date.

Tristan snapped his gaze to me. "Huh? Date?"

I smiled at him as kindly as I could muster, so it probably looked like a sneer. "Yes, James is my date."

Tristan sat up straight and released James like he'd been burned as he looked between the two of us before settling on James. "But… you don't date."

James shrugged. "I guess I do now."

"Are you being serious?"

Both of us nodded.

Tristan gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. "Oh my god, I'm so fucking sorry! I had no idea. I only came over here because I actually know you, and I figured you'd be my safest bet to shield me from," He waved in the direction Hunter had gone. "Since you never bring a date anywhere. I'm so, so sorry." He looked at me with wide eyes. "You must hate me."

I laughed, actually feeling a little relieved. "Seriously, it's fine. It's not like you were groping him."

Tristan covered his whole face with his hands. "I'm so embarrassed."

I leaned over and patted his shoulder. "It's really okay, Tristan. Stop worrying."

"This has been the worst day ever."

I looked over at my brother, who'd been awfully quiet today, and nodded my head in Tristan's direction. Ethan nodded back, then got up and moved to my empty seat next to Tristan. "Do you wanna go grab a beer with me?"

Tristan turned toward him and said, "God, yes." Then the two of them walked toward the deck.

I sat in the seat Tristan had vacated, then leaned into James. "You okay, Cupcake?" I whispered.

James sent me soft smile, then grabbed my hand and twined our fingers together, sending a flutter through my stomach. "I'm good, Jalapeno." He surprised me by lifting our joined hands and kissing my knuckles, causing more flutters to invade my chest.

We chatted with everyone at our table for a while, though James and I kept laughing at stupid shit and gaining looks from everyone else. Not that I cared. I was having fun. I was having fun with James. I didn't really care about anyone else at the moment. It'd be kinda awesome to be able to hang out with just him.

"I sorta wish we could just ditch and go home to watch a movie or something." James suddenly whispered to me, echoing my thoughts.

I groaned. "No teasing. That sounds amazing." I checked my phone. "Damn, we still have, like, three hours before the fireworks start." Because of course, Mrs. Garcia got fireworks for her grandson's birthday party… since that was such a normal thing to have for a fourteen-year-old's party. I accidentally snorted out loud at the thought.

"What?"

I smiled. "Nothing. Just thinking about how ridiculous it is to have fireworks for a kid's birthday."

"You know Mrs. Garcia doesn't half-ass anything." James said. "I haven't even seen Sammy yet. Have you?"

"I've literally only been apart from you for like thirty seconds so, no, I haven't."

He rolled his eyes but was still smiling. "Let's go find the birthday boy. He's probably hiding out in one of the bedrooms or something. He hates all this attention, but I want to wish him a happy birthday. Wanna go check on him?"

"Sure." As I followed him I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was worried about his pseudo-nephew. James had such a bigger heart than anyone gave him credit for.

* * *

 **Done! So, this chapter was basically yet ANOTHER Kames-fest, with a little jealous Kendall thrown in there. :P**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved hearing your thoughts on the last chapter, as well as your thoughts on Shane and Ethan!**

 **The next chapter will pick up where this one left off, and will be up within the next few days.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, winterschild11, XxxAnimaniacxxX, and annabellex2 for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I was having a unexpectedly great time at the party, though I shouldn't have been surprised since Kendall was here with me. He could make the most unbearable situations bearable just with his mere presence. The fact that he was also hanging out with-and talking to-me the entire time would make anything not only tolerable, but completely exciting. I led the way up the stairs to the second floor of the house where the bedrooms were. If Sammy was hiding, I was sure that was where he'd be.

"Hey, we need to take some pictures." Kendall said a moment before I felt him reach into my pocket. And a second later, I heard the snap and winding of a picture being taken.

I looked down the steps at him. "You just took a picture of my ass, didn't you?"

Kendall tried to make his eyes wide to look innocent, but he wasn't fooling me at all, so I quickly grabbed the camera from him and snapped a closeup of his face, then cracked up when he scowled at me. I wound the little disposable camera and took another picture of him crossing his arms and looking up at me. After a few seconds, he broke into a smile and shook his head as he said, "Okay, point taken. Let's move on or I'll go find a real camera and take embarrassing shots of you for the rest of the night."

I wound the camera again and headed back up. When I got to the top of the stairs with Kendall right behind me, I rounded the corner and ran smack into Tristan.

"Fuck. Sorry, James." He quickly shouted as he brushed past me to run down the stairs.

I looked at the retreating back of my friend. He looked completely disheveled with his hair sticking up and his shirt tucked in on only one side. "Are you okay?" I yelled after him.

He waved over his shoulder and gave a quick, "Yeah, I'm fine." then disappeared around the corner at the bottom of the staircase.

I didn't really believe that, but he clearly didn't want to talk to me or Kendall, so we continued down the small hallway and pushed open a bedroom door the rest of the way. My eyes widened when I found a guy standing there, pulling his pants up over his bare ass. I automatically lifted the camera and snapped a picture. I mean, who wouldn't?

The sound must've alerted him to my presence because he froze when he spotted me and just stood there with wide eyes. I looked back the way I came at the sudden comprehension that Tristan likely came from this room, too… a room with a half-naked man in it.

After a brief pause of surprise, I said, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here." I turned to leave, but ran into Kendall, who was also standing there with wide eyes.

"It's okay. I was just leaving." The guy-freaking _Hunter_ -said quietly.

I looked him over for a second. He looked like he was about to have a panic attack at any moment. Kendall and I shared a look before focusing on Hunter again. "You okay?" Kendall asked.

Hunter pulled on his collar and cringed. "I'm fine." His voice was so soft, and he looked so nervous, that even from across the room I could see him breaking out into a sweat. He gave us each a hesitant nod before heading out the door. Hunter stopped and looked back at Kendall and me. "Could you maybe not tell anyone about this?"

I shrugged. "Tell anyone about what?"

He shot me a relieved smile and a nod, then escaped out the door.

Kendall and I stood there looking after him for about a minute before Kendall looked at me and exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

"I…" I shrugged, Kendall had said it perfectly. "Holy shit."

"I can't believe, I mean, they weren't… he wouldn't even talk to him out there! Tristan was acting like he was the devil and an hour later he sleeps with him? I mean, come on. What the hell? Did you know about this?"

I shook my head. "No idea. I knew they knew each other from college or something, I think, but no. I don't really know Hunter."

"You took a picture of his ass." Kendall started chuckling. "Oh my god. I'd love to see Mrs. Garcia's face when she sees that."

I winced. "I… didn't think about that."

He patted my shoulder, looking completely amused, but all he said was, "Let's go check the next room." Once we were in the hall, he added, "Maybe we'll get lucky and see another nice ass."

I laughed as we looked into an empty room. We checked one more room before finally finding the birthday boy. He was in Carlos' old bedroom, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, looking out the window. I should've known he'd be in his dad's old room.

"Hey, kiddo." I said gently, trying not to startle him.

Sammy looked over his shoulder briefly before looking out the window again. "Hey."

"What are you doing up here?" Kendall and I made our way into the room, but we stayed on the other side of the bed to give him some space.

Sammy blew out a breath. "Hiding."

I walked over and sat on the floor beside him. "Why are you hiding from your own birthday party?"

He started picking at the carpet, not looking at me. "Everyone keeps staring at me and trying to… hug me." He shrugged. "I don't like it."

I didn't really know what to say to that, but Kendall walked over and sat on the other side of me as he said, "If you want, we can grab you some food or something and sneak it up here."

Samy finally looked up with a half-smile. "That's okay. I'll go back down in a little while."

We sat in companionable silence for a couple of minutes and I studied Sammy. I didn't see him as often as I used to, but he looked a little… sad or something, so I asked, "Are you nervous about started high school?"

He shrugged. "It'll be fine." He got a little tense, so I figured that was a touchy subject.

"I saw some of your friends swimming before we came up." Kendall said, obviously trying to cheer the kid up a little.

Sammy glanced at us before sighing. "Alright… I'll go down." He sounded like he was walking to his death.

I frowned. "Do you want to talk about anything?"

Sammy stood up. "Nah. Kids are just dumb. I'll get over it." He waved me off and walked out of the room, leaving the two of us sitting on the floor.

"I hope he's not getting picked on or something." Kendall said.

"He better not be or I'll have to kick some little shit's ass." I responded.

Kendall smiled at me, then leaned close, resting his cheek on my shoulder. My body buzzed from the contact as he whispered, "You're a good guy, James."

I had nothing to say to that, so I just turned and looked out the window, then put my hand on Kendall's thigh. He wrapped his arm around my biceps and kissed my shoulder before resting his cheek there again. Even through my shirt, his small kiss burned my skin. I closed my eyes at the feeling and took a deep breath. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to push him onto his back and climb over him. I wanted to strip him naked and taste his skin. I wanted to see what he looked like writhing underneath me. I wanted a chance at that ass that'd been taunting me for months.

But…

But after what'd happened the last time we'd fooled around, I couldn't take that chance. I couldn't face his rejection again. I just...couldn't. I didn't even want to think about what it would feel like to lose him like that again. I didn't want him to leave, didn't want him to run away.

I was already broken, splintered. I'd been broken for a long time, fragmented into pieces a long time before I'd met him. Maybe that should mean that I didn't have anything to lose, but the truth was that losing Kendall again would make me crumble, it would destroy me, tear me up, and shatter me so I wouldn't have anything left. I'd never be the same, never be able to recover. And maybe that sounded dramatic, but it was the truth.

But even knowing that didn't stop me from trying to pull him back into my life after he'd left the first time or easily accepting his apology when he distanced himself from me at that party at Carlos' house months ago. He made me happy when he was around, and even though I had a feeling he'd shatter me eventually, I didn't want to give him up. Even if it was only for a little while, it would be worth the pain later. He was worth it.

So I'd sit here with him and take what I could. If all I got was friendship with the best person I'd ever met, I was fine with it. Mostly fine, anyway. I'd take what I could get.

"What's wrong, Cupcake?" He whispered.

I looked down at him still on my shoulder and shook my head. I didn't trust my voice in that moment. He was looking at me with concern, as if he truly cared about my feelings, truly cared about me.

His brow furrowed as he examined my face. He slowly reached up and cupped my cheek, and I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into his hand a little. It was like he held some magical pull over me that I couldn't resist, I didn't even want to. He rubbed my cheek with his thumb, and I felt him moving but kept my eyes closed. I couldn't risk looking at him because I didn't want to tell him what I was thinking, but I didn't want to lie to him either.

Suddenly, his soft lips brushed my own and I startled in surprise, opening my eyes. His eyes were closed and pulled me into him with his hand still on my cheek. As much as I knew it was a bad idea, I was powerless to stop myself from kissing him back. My hands sought him out, grabbing the front of his shirt and fisting it, pulling him closer to me. My tongue ran along his lip, and when he opened up to a moan, I dove in, groaning at the taste of him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and moved closer to me, but when he started to climb on my lap, I had enough sense to grab his hips and stop him.

He broke the kiss and stared at me. "What?" He whispered.

"We shouldn't…" I trailed off, trying to think of an excuse. I didn't want to risk him running again.

Kendall stared at me and I swore it was like he could see into my soul or something. "It's okay. _We're_ okay… right?"

I swallowed hard and nodded. "We don't have clothes here to change into if we make a mess, and I don't have any supplies." I knew it was a lame excuse because, surely, we could figure something out if we really wanted to, but it was the only excuse I could come up with.

Kendall's face fell, but he tried to hide it. I knew him too well for that to work, though. The last thing I wanted was for him to be upset, so I cupped his face, running one thumb over his bottom lip before softly kissing him again.

God, he tasted so good. I broke the kiss after a while and rested my forehead against his. Damn, he smelled good, too, just like he always did. I might have to find out what apple shampoo he used so I could buy some to keep at home. Then I could smell him anytime I wanted. _Shit, I sound like a fucking stalker now._

I pecked his lips, but kept my eyes shut and my forehead on his while I continued to trace his bottom lip with my thumb. I couldn't look at him or I'd lose my resolve because I really fucking wanted him. If I were being honest with myself, I'd admit that I'd wanted him since that very first night we'd hung out together. But if I let myself give in right now, there was a good chance I wouldn't have him tomorrow, so I took deep, calming breaths to get my dick to calm the fuck down.

Kendall started kissing me again, only this time it was slow, gentle, and sweet. He kissed me unhurriedly and I no longer tasted the desperation on his tongue. When his tongue brushed mine again, I fucking whimpered, even though I tried to hold it back. He reached up and brushed my cheeks with his fingertips, keeping our kiss slow… so fucking slow that it was hard to hold my feelings in.

We didn't break the kiss until we had no choice so we could breathe. Kendall rested his forehead against mine for a moment before wrapping his arms around my neck and tucking himself against me. I embraced him and buried my nose in his hair, squeezing him tight.

I had no idea how long we stayed that way, but when we finally broke apart, the sun was going down. Kendall kissed me softly on the lips before standing up and pulling me to my feet. He dragged me out of the room and downstairs back to the party. He threaded our fingers together as we walked, but I stopped him at the food table. When I went to let go of his hand so he could make a plate, he held my hand firmly and said, "We'll just share."

I smiled at that and nodded, then we worked together to pile on the food. He didn't let go of my hand until he had to in order to reach into a cooler for beers and waters. We sat at the same table where our brothers were still seated, and I saw Shane lift a brow at me. I just ignored him. It wasn't any of his business where we'd been.

Later on, Mrs. Garcia's hired firefighters set off the fireworks, and Kendall and I stood together to watch them. He started shivering since the sun had gone down and the air was a little chilly, so I stepped behind him, wrapping him in my arms. He automatically leaned back against me and started running his fingertips along my forearms. I leaned down and rested my chin on his shoulder. I ended up watching his excited facial expressions more than the fireworks themselves. When he caught me looking at him, he smiled and kissed my cheek before watching the sky again.

When I dropped Kendall and Ethan off at their apartment, I really didn't want Kendall to go, but I was too chickenshit to ask him to stay with me. If he stayed the night again, I didn't think I'd be able to control myself.

To my utter surprise, though, right before Kendall hopped out of my car he glanced at the full back seat, then looked at me before almost nodding to himself. Quick as a flash, he leaned forward and pecked my lips. "Thank you, Cupcake." He said softly before hopping out of the car.

I watched as he ran for his building's door. I thought about running after him and walking him to his apartment, but it seemed a little ridiculous to do that when Ethan was already with him. Plus, if he asked me to come in, I would in a heartbeat. I had to hold my resolve.

After he disappeared inside, I expected Shane and Emily to say something, but all my brother did was pat my shoulder as I pulled away from the curb and headed home. My brother was probably too busy with Emily to pay me much attention since she was staying the night, which, gross. I sorta wished Shane hadn't asked my permission for that and had just done it without saying anything to me.

While lying in bed and wishing like hell I could just fall asleep and stop thinking about a certain blond haired, green eyed goofy guy with a killer smile, I received a text notification. When I checked my phone, I couldn't help but smile.

 _Kendall:_ _I have a wedding tomorrow, so I'll be gone all day, but do you wanna come over on Monday for dinner?_

I wrote back right away.

 _Me:_ _Absolutely._

I quickly sent another text.

 _Me:_ _What are you going to cook?_

Since sleep was hopeless anyway, I pulled up a file on my phone. I needed to draw up plans for the new campaign this week, so I figured I could get an idea of what I wanted to do. My phone dinged, so I checked it with a smile.

 _Kendall:_ _I'm making some chicken and mandolin and gravy._

What the…? Mandolin? I wondered what that was supposed to be. As I was typing back a response and chuckling to myself, another text came through.

 _Kendall:_ _Mandolin? No, not a fucking mandolin. I'm making mashed platypus._

I laughed out loud at that. Gross. Another text came through.

 _Kendall:_ _Fuck. NOT platypus. Potatoes. Mandolin potatoes._

Another bark of laughter fell from my lips.

 _Kendall:_ _Fuck it! I give up._

 _Kendall:_ _I'll have food. That's all you need to know._

I chuckled while I typed.

 _Me:_ _I've never had platypus before, but it shouldn't surprise me that you would pick something gross to make._

 _Kendall:_ _Very funny. I couldn't eat a platypus. Those things are weird and cute...just my kinda thing._

I chuckled and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

 _A Few Weeks Later_

James and I were dating. _Or at least, that's what I think we're doing._

I honestly wasn't completely sure if we were really dating or if we'd just become friends that liked to make out every chance they got. Make out and _nothing_ else. I didn't get it. James kissed me all the time now and I kissed him. I fucking loved it. But every time I tried to push it further than kissing, he stopped me. I was seriously starting to get a complex.

It'd been weeks since that amazing kiss at Sammy's birthday party, and we'd made out every single chance we'd seen each other since. Which was a lot. I'd lost count of how many make out sessions we'd had. So I really didn't understand why James wasn't allowing us to go any further. If it wasn't so obvious that he was just as turned on as I was whenever we kissed, I'd think he wasn't attracted to me. But I knew that wasn't it. There was no way for him to hide the bulge he sported in his pants every time I was around.

 _So why doesn't he want to have sex?_

I'd been asking myself that question over and over again, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what the answer was. I mean, he obviously liked me enough to keep inviting me over every chance he got, so I knew that wasn't it, either. And like I said, his dick liked me, too. _So why won't he have sex with me?_ He was going to make me die of the worst case of blue balls in the history of blue balls. Just fucking looking at him made my cock perk up. It was becoming ridiculous. And it was soooo hard to be around him.

I snorted out loud at the double entendre.

"What's so funny?" Beau asked as he messed with the camera, probably taking pictures of my ass as I set up the shot.

"Nothing. You get enough ass shots of me yet?"

"I'll never get enough shots of your ass, baby." He said without missing a beat.

I laughed as Dustin popped his head into the room. "What's so funny?"

I laughed a little harder as Beau said, "Nothing, we're just talking about Kendall's ass. Wanna join in on the conversation?"

Dustin stared at me for half a second before looking at Beau. "Well, he does have a nice ass."

"Hey!" I laughed out, then pulled the roll of duct tape off my arm and chucked it at him. Luckily, he caught it because throwing that with expensive equipment around probably wasn't the smartest idea I'd ever had.

"You're lucky I caught that or you'd have hell to pay." Dustin said, walking into the room and passing it back to me. "Need any help, short stuff?"

"God, I hate you. And no, I can do it myself."

He smirked at me, then leaned up to clasp the backdrop hook I'd been messing with. The asshole did it in about two seconds without even needing to stretch or struggle like I was, which made no sense since we were practically the same height. I huffed, but Dustin's smirk remained as he said, "I was just checking all the studios before this huge party comes in tonight. You guys are finished across the hall, right?"

"Obviously." I muttered, rolling my eyes at him. It was Friday night and Dak and Jett were at a wedding, Lucy was at an engagement shoot, and the three of us were here waiting for a huge family reunion shoot to come into the studio. The family had about a million different combinations of people they wanted photographed together and was probably the biggest family reunion gig we'd ever had.

For some reason, Dustin thought that made him in charge of checking and rechecking every single thing, even though I'd run the damn studio by myself a million times and I have seniority, obviously.

Dustin walked back toward the door and Beau said, "Damn, it was kinda nice using both your asses as the focus."

I laughed at that, but Dustin just rolled his eyes and waved Beau off. Once he was out of the room, I said to Beau, "He's such a spaz when Dak isn't here."

"I think he's just worried that he'll mess up and not know what to do. Don't take it personally."

I sighed. "I'm not. He's just been up my ass all night."

"I heard that!" Dustin yelled from across the hall.

I pinched my lips together, then yelled back, "Sorry!"

"It's fine. I know I'm annoying the shit out of you."

"I still love you, though!" I yelled with a grin. Beau rolled his eyes at me.

"Ditto, short stuff." Dustin yelled back, making me groan and Beau snort.

"I changed my mind, I hate you both."

They laughed harder and I sighed, though I couldn't help but smile.

"Oh, Kendall, did you see that note for you in the break room?" Beau asked.

"Uh, no." I shrugged and walked into the break room, finding an envelope on one of the tables. I picked it up since my name was written on it and opened it.

 _Kendall,_

 _Why the hell do you and James have a picture of Hunter's ass? Do I even want to know what you three were up to?_

 _Dak_

I snorted and pulled out the picture James had taken at Sammy's party when we'd found Hunter with his ass hanging out. I tilted my head. _That really is a nice ass._

I pulled out out my phone and sent Dak a text.

 _Me:_ _James and I found Hunter that way when we walked into the room._

I snorted again when I saw Dak's reply.

 _Dak:_ _I would've gotten two pics._

I shook my head and texted James.

 _Me:_ _Dak found your pic of Hunter's ass. Want me to save it for you?_

I was joking when I sent the text, but now I was regretting it. I didn't want James to have a picture of someone else's ass. James texted back a few minutes later.

 _Cupcake: Maybe you should give it to Tristan. :P_

I laughed at that and blew out a relieved breath. At least he hadn't taken it seriously. I threw the picture and the note in the trash, then joined Beau and Dustin to wait for the reunion family to get here.

We ended up having a long night because we were so busy, so by the time I got home, I was ready to go to bed. My feet hurt from standing all night, and my voice was hoarse from trying to talk over the billion people in the studio. When I got home, I found Ethan still awake on the couch, so after changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, I plopped down in the loveseat because I'd been meaning to talk to him.

"Hey." He said, giving me a small smile before turning back to the television.

"Hey." I sighed and leaned back, rubbing my hands over my face. "I've been meaning to talk to you for a couple of days, but we keep missing each other." Which was nothing new. I felt like I almost never saw him, even though he'd been living with me for months now.

"What's up?" He asked as he turned to face me.

"Did you find a job yet?"

His nostrils flared and he clenched his jaw. "No."

I nodded, though I was unsure why he looked so pissed. "Okay, well, I got you a job, then. Since Shane started school again, The Chipped Mug needs another barista and-"

"What the fuck, Kendall?"

I leaned away from him, shocked at the amount of anger in his tone. "What? You said you were looking for a job, so I thought-"

"No, _you_ said I was looking for a job. I didn't say shit."

"Ethan, you were living out of your car for over a year until you moved in with me. Are you seriously saying that you _aren't_ looking for a job?"

He stood up and started pacing. "I'm saying that you need to stop all this, Kendall. You keep meddling and you're making me insane. I should've known it'd be just like last time. You always meddle in my business, you always have. Just stay out of my life!"

I stood up and walked behind the couch to put a little distance between us. "Ethan, I'm just trying to help. I don't understand why-"

"Why are you such an asshole, huh? Always thinking you're better than me."

I took a step back as if he'd slapped me. "Wh-what?"

Ethan looked at me with so much anger in his gaze, it was like looking at a stranger, and when he opened his mouth again, it was like I didn't even know him.

* * *

 **Done! So yeah, Kames are still adorable and complicated, what else is new? And it looks like things between Ethan and Kendall just took a turn.**

 **I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Next chapter will pick up shortly after where this one left off, and** **will more than likely be up either Wednesday or Thursday. Hopefully... :P**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Time for another new chapter!**

 **Before we get into it, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, RainbowDiamonds, Guest, Side1ways, annabellex2, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **Fair warning, heated Kames ahead. Proceed with caution. :P**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I was sitting in the armchair going over my notes for my upcoming campaign-not exactly an exciting Friday night, but, hey, Kendall worked tonight-when I heard a loud knock at the door. I checked the time and frowned. It was after eleven and I wasn't expecting anybody this late. I set my file on the table and went to the door. When I checked through the peephole, my brow furrowed, but I opened the door.

When Kendall looked up at me, and I saw the expression on his face, I immediately asked, "What's wrong?"

He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Can I come in?" He whispered.

"Of course." I opened the door all the way and inwardly cursed myself for not letting him in immediately. He walked through and I shut the door, then leaned against it and watched him pace back and forth in front of the dining table. After his third lap, I asked, "What's going on, Kendall?"

Without looking at me, he started muttering under his breath, though I could still understand him. "He's such an asshole. I can't believe... how could he say that? I'm so stupid for thinking…"

"Kendall." I said gently after watching him mutter to himself for several minutes. "Tell me what's going on."

He paused his steps and glanced at me with wide eyes as if he was just realizing I was there. He started pacing again, but spoke louder. "Ethan is such an asshole."

"Okay… what did he do?"

"We got in a fight. He's been… you know he's been staying with me, right? I mean, obviously you know that already… you've known since he moved in. Sorry, I don't know what I'm even saying right now." He sighed. "Well, I've been trying to get that ungrateful little brat a job, but he's acting like I'm trying to control him. He'd been living out of his car for over a year! Until _I_ took him in! I'm only trying to help!"

He raised his voice, yelling at me, but I knew he was just upset and needed to get his frustration out, so I remained where I was and listened.

"He kept going on and on about me always being a meddling, controlling jerk who thought he was better than everyone else. Can you believe that?" He glanced at me, but I still didn't move. "He seriously thinks I'm some snobby asshole. I'm not a… I don't think I'm better than _anyone_!" He stopped walking and looked at me. "Do you think I come off that way? Is that what you thought before you knew me? Or do you still think that?"

I shook my head. "No, not at all."

He eyed me for a moment, probably gauging my sincerity. He nodded to himself and resumed his pacing. "I'm just so pissed. All I wanted to do was help him. I want him to be happy, you know? I want him to grow up and get a damn job so he doesn't have to worry about where he's going to sleep or when he'll get his next meal or next shower, for fuck's sake. It's not like I care if he lives with me, but fuck, I know he doesn't want to live there in that tiny-ass apartment forever. He leaves every chance he gets!"

He stopped walking and put his hands on his hips but didn't turn to me. "He called me so many names, I don't even remember them all." His voice was lower, sadder. "It's like… it's like he just wanted to hurt me. It wasn't enough to just yell at me and be mean as fuck, he wanted to make sure I was _hurt_."

His anger seemed to drain away, and all that was left was the hurt. I swallowed down my own emotions at seeing my best friend in pain. He was normally so happy and didn't care what was said about him. He didn't usually let rude or snide comments get to him, but the hurt was painted clearly on his face and was rolling off him in waves.

"I don't…" He trailed off, his hands trembling at his sides. "He said that I was such a terrible person it was no wonder my parents died and left me alone." His voice broke and he took a shuddered breath, obviously holding in tears.

"He said that to you?" I asked. _What kind of person says something like that? I want to kick that little asshole's ass._

Kendall nodded and turned his back to me. "He said 'now I know why you're all alone and nobody loves you.'" I could see him taking unsteady breaths. I knew he was on the verge of tears and all I wanted to do was go to him, comfort him, make him feel happy again. But he wasn't looking at me, and I knew it was because he wanted some space. So I didn't move, though it took everything in me not to.

"Kendall." I whispered, my own throat closing up with emotion. He was hurting and I couldn't make it better.

He turned to me with tears in his eyes and whispered, "I thought he actually cared about me. I thought… I thought I had a family again." A small broken sob escaped him, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to comfort him.

I walked over and pulled him in, and he immediately fell into my chest. His shoulders started shaking with his quiet crying. I wrapped him in my warms as tight as I could, then slid one hand up to the back of his hair, holding him close. His hands were stuck between our chests, but once I started rubbing his back, he wrapped them around me and cried harder.

"It's okay… it'll be okay. He didn't mean it."

As pissed as I was at Ethan, I knew for a fact he didn't mean it.

"He… did." He gasped out between cries.

"No, he didn't. It was his ADHD that made him act that way." I said. "I don't know what set it off, but…" I trailed off, noticing the way Kendall was staring at me.

"How...h-how do you know that?" He asked, the shock seeming to replace the pain he was feeling for a moment.

"I researched it." I admitted. "When you told me that he had ADHD, I looked it up. He's your family, Ken. I wanted to understand him." I pulled him back in as I continued. "He loves you. He was just being a jerk. That's what brothers do." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because it set Kendall off again.

"He told me… he said I'm not his brother… that I never was." He hiccuped as he started to cry even harder.

My jaw clenched in anger, but I still reminded him, "He didn't mean it." _That little motherfucker._

"I'm… I'm all alone again."

I rubbed his back and leaned down to whisper in his ear, "You're not alone, Kendall. You'll never be alone again. You have me and I'm not going anywhere, you hear me?"

He nodded against my chest, then shifted his arms to wrap them around my neck and bury his head under my chin. He didn't say anything more, but I could feel his tears against my skin. I wanted to do something, anything, to help him, but I didn't know what else to do, so I just held him and continued rubbing his back and squeezing him tight and letting him cry on me.

After standing there for a long time, I could tell he was exhausted-so was I-but I also knew he didn't want to pull away from me. If I was being honest, I'd admit that I didn't want to pull away, either. I loved having him in my arms, thought I wasn't happy for the reason.

Instead of pulling away, I walked into the living room without letting go, hitting the light switch on the way. When we made it to the couch, I laid him down, then climbed behind him and pulled the throw blanket over us. I heard him kick his shoes off as I put a throw pillow under my head, then pulled his back so he could use me as a pillow. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him tight against my chest. After a few minutes, he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine. He brushed a sweet, soft kiss across my knuckles, then pulled my arm more snuggly around him, keeping our combined hands right under his chin.

I held him tight as he sniffled for a while before his breathing eventually slowed and evened out once he fell asleep. I nuzzled into him a little and buried my nose in his apple-scented hair. I placed a gentle kiss on his head before trying to settle into sleep. Having him in my arms, breathing in his sweet scent, knowing that I was the one he'd reached out to...it made something settle inside me.

He fit so perfectly. He felt so _right_. It made me wish for things I never thought I'd wish for, things I was afraid to want, things I could never ask for. Not from him. Not from the one person I cared more about than anyone else in the world. I couldn't risk it. If he left, I'd be an unfixable mess. Or I'd do something stupid and end up breaking his heart, just like I'd done to Dak. I'd never hurt him like that. I'd never hurt him the way I'd hurt everyone else. I couldn't. Kendall deserved the world, the universe, and I was just about the furthest thing from that.

* * *

When I woke up, I didn't know where I was at first, but I felt warm and comfortable. It only took a few seconds for me to remember that I was on James' couch, surrounded by his warm body, using his arm as a pillow. God, he felt so good up against me like this. I snuggled down into him, then froze when I realized his cock was pushing against my ass. His _hard_ cock.

I held in a groan at the feel of it, but I couldn't help myself, I pushed my ass back into him again. He started to stir and I thought about stopping, but I was still too upset about everything, and the last thing I needed right now was to think about my argument with Ethan.

I wanted to feel good. I wanted to feel wanted, needed. I just wanted to feel _something_. Something with James. So I pushed my ass back again, then moved my hips forward before pushing back intently. James made a weird sound in his throat, then wrapped his arms around me tighter and buried his nose in my hair.

I kept rutting my ass against him and felt him getting even harder. My cock was already painfully hard, and I was desperate for him to touch me. James whispered in a sleepy, hoarse voice, "Kendall… what are you doing?" He sounded sad almost, but it didn't stop him from hugging me tighter.

"James, I… I want you…" I reached behind myself and ran my hand down his side and thigh.

He groaned a little and froze completely with his forehead against my head. I thought he was about to tell me to stop or ask me to leave, but then he gently placed a soft kiss on the back of my neck, followed by another one, and another. I panted and whimpered a little and resumed my rutting. I ran my hand down his side and thigh again, then back up to grab his ass. I pulled him toward me as I pressed back and he moaned against my neck.

 _God, that sound is the sexiest thing I've ever heard._

I rubbed his ass cheek and pulled him again as he trailed his hand down my chest to the hem of my shirt, then slipped his hand underneath. When his fingers brushed my skin, I trembled under his touch. He managed to grab my unoccupied hand with his and he laced our fingers together as his other hand explored my stomach and chest. By the time he flicked my nipple, I moaned and quivered from the touch. I was already so fucking desperate for him. I wanted him. I'd wanted him for a long time, but now I wanted him more than I ever had before.

No, now I fucking _needed_ him.

"James… need you."

He hummed at me and sucked on my skin, then trailed his mouth up to my ear. "What do you need?" He whispered.

"You. Anything. Everything." I groaned.

James suddenly removed his hand from under my shirt, making me whimper in protest, but then he tilted my chin as he moved to lean over me and look me in the eyes. I gasped when I saw the vulnerability in his hazel eyes. He searched my eyes for a moment before brushing his fingertips over my cheek. "Don't run away this time."

I covered his hand with my own. "I won't." I leaned up and softly kissed his lips. "I promise I'll never do that again."

He closed his eyes, then searched my face again before giving me a little nod. For some reason, that vulnerability in his gaze remained in place. He looked scared. He looked like he didn't believe me. And as much as it saddened me that he felt that way, I kind of deserved it after what happened last time.

It saddened me that there were people from his past that had hurt him and made him so insecure, so worried about people leaving him and not loving him, that they made him feel like he was unlovable. That made him think that no one could ever love him. That made him think that no one would ever stick around.

I didn't want him to feel that way. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to know that I cared. I wanted him to feel good.

So I shifted on the couch to face him and cupped his cheek, then pulled him in for a slow, sensual kiss. Our tongues brushed each other, and it was like sparks flew, buzzing all over my body. I hummed into his mouth and deepened the kiss. James cupped my cheeks and I found myself climbing on top of him and rutting our hips together.

Luckily, we were both in sweatpants, so it was easy to feel his erection rubbing against mine. And hot damn did it feel fucking amazing. So fucking amazing that I was in serious danger of coming in my pants. But I didn't want to do that, not this time. I wanted to taste him. I'd been dreaming about tasting him for what felt like years but was really only months.

I straddled his hips and sat up, pulling my shirt over my head before grabbing his shirt and pulling it off. I saw the huge scar on the side of his stomach, a cruel reminder of what his father had done to him the night he'd kicked him out of the house. I didn't want to bring up unhappy memories, so I didn't draw attention to it, though I promised myself that I'd kiss the hell out of the spot when I got to it.

James rubbed his hands over my chest and stomach as I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips before gently nibbling my way across his jaw and down his neck, his stubble scratching my lips along the way, and I fucking loved it.

I made my way across his collarbone and down the center of his chest. His skin tasted so fucking good that I kept humming and moaning, almost as much as he was. He was panting and he had his hands buried in my hair, which made me smile. When I took his nipple between my teeth, he hissed and arched up into me. So I did the same to his other nipple, receiving same reaction from him. Slowly I licked, sucked, and nipped my way down his stomach, following his happy trail. I couldn't help but nuzzle my nose into his hair above his pants. Then I ran my lips and tongue across his scar, wishing I could go back in time and take away the bad memories, take away the broken beer bottle from his father. It hurt my heart to know that someone he'd loved and trusted could do something like that to him.

"Kendall." He whispered, and I could hear the vulnerability in his voice.

I somehow knew that he wasn't ready for the emotions I was bringing up, so I kissed his scar, then looked up at James with smile. "You taste good."

He brushed his hand through my hair as I slipped my fingers under the waistband of his pants. He lifted his hips and allowed me to pull his sweatpants all the way off-he was going commando, yum-so I dropped them on the floor, then continued kissing, licking, nipping, and sucking on his skin.

I focused on every single part of him except the big, fat, leaking cock in front of me. I used my mouth and tongue and teeth on his hips and thighs. I nuzzled into the neatly trimmed hair around his cock. I even licked his balls. I wanted to draw out his pleasure and anticipation, maybe even make him beg.

"Kendall." He moaned, his voice dripping in desperation.

Without moving my mouth away from his thigh, I muttered, "Yes?"

"Please…"

"Please what?"

He groaned, so I looked up at him, seeing his lust-filled eyes. I smiled, keeping eye contact, I slowly licked his cock from the base to the tip, licking up the salty precum and groaning at the flavor. "Is this what you want? My mouth on your cock?" I asked.

He nodded but didn't say anything. He ran a hand through my hair again and tried to nudge me toward his aching dick.

"Say it."

He actually smirked and shook his head before saying, "I want your mouth on my cock. Now."

I chuckled at his demanding tone, then kissed his thigh. "All you had to do was ask." I said, sending him a smile before licking the head of his cock and slowly taking him all the way to the back of my throat. He cried out and bucked his hips, so I grabbed them so he was forced to stay still. Then I moved up and down over his cock, using my tongue and swallowing and sucking as much and as hard as I could. From the sounds he was making, he was thoroughly enjoying it.

After only a couple of minutes, he nudged my shoulder. "Kendall, babe… I'm gonna come."

My heart skipped a beat at the little term of endearment, and I doubled down on my effort, wanting to make him explode. And explode he did. He shot down my throat as I sucked him dry. He screamed my name and writhed and shook beneath me. Fuck, he tasted so good, and I wanted more.

When he calmed down, I licked him clean and kissed his thigh. When I went to crawl back up his body to hug him, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back. "What are you doing?"

He crawled over me so I was on my back and he was hovering over the top of me, then he kissed me. Hard. He kissed me passionately. He kissed me until I was breathless and didn't even know my own name anymore. "I want to taste you, too." He said as he pulled away. I was so boneless and brainless from his passionate kiss that I didn't even know what he meant.

But then he was pulling my sweatpants and lacy underwear off, and he was kissing and licking and nipping, using his tongue, lips, and teeth all over my body just like I'd done to him. And when he took my achingly hard, leaking cock into his mouth, I cried out from the pleasure. Holy fucking shit. Fuck, did he know how to use his mouth.

Almost embarrassingly soon, I had to tap his shoulder to try and warn him, but that only seemed to encourage him because he sucked harder. And before I knew it, I was screaming his name and shooting down his throat as white-hot pleasure shot through my body like nothing I'd ever felt before. I'd never come so hard in my life. I didn't think I'd ever be able to move again.

"You killed me." I muttered.

When he didn't say anything, I looked at him and frowned. He sat up, staring at me like he was unsure. He looked scared again. _Fuck_. I opened my arms, encouraging him to lay with me. Luckily, he took the hint and crawled back up my body, tucking his head into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight, kissing the top of his head, and praying that he'd feel how much I wanted to be there with him. He felt amazing in my arms. I wanted him to stay there forever.

We both tried to catch our breath, not saying anything for a few minutes. I started rubbing his back, and he drew circles on my chest. I rested my cheek against his hair and breathed in his sweaty, musky scent that smelled freaking amazing.

After lying that way for a while, James quietly asked, "You're really not going to leave?"

I frowned again and squeezed him to me. "No, I'm not going anywhere." He sighed and pushed into me a little. I cupped his cheek and made him look at me. "I'm not going anywhere. This is exactly where I want to be."

He stared at me, and instead of saying anything, he reached up to kiss me softly, then he rested his head back on my chest. I continued rubbing his skin, and every once in a while, I'd kiss his forehead.

I didn't know how long we stayed that way, but we didn't move until we heard someone moving around in the hallway.

"Oh shit." James said as he jumped up and grabbed the throw blanket that had fallen on the floor at some point. He covered up both of us and snuggled back into my side.

"Is it safe to come out there?" Shane's voice called from down the hall.

I cringed because I knew the only way he'd even be asking that was if he'd heard us.

"I really need to get to work." Shane added.

James cleared his throat before calling out, "Yeah, it's safe."

Shane sprinted through the living room holding his hands up like shields so he couldn't see us. "Next time, can you at least go in your bedroom, James?" And before either of us could say anything, Shane was out the door.

I pressed my cheek to James' hair and closed my eyes. "I totally forgot he was here."

James cleared his throat. "Yeah, me too. I didn't even think about it because I don't remember him coming home last night. He must have come in after we fell asleep."

"I didn't hear him come in, either. You didn't wake up?"

"Apparently not."

I nodded against him. "What are your plans for the day?"

He shrugged. "I don't really have any, except going to the grocery store."

"Yeah, that's all I have to do, too." I thought about my next words carefully. I didn't want to freak him out, but I also knew that I didn't want us to be in this weird pseudo-relationship thing anymore. I took a deep breath. "Will you let me take you out on a date tonight?"

It took several minutes for him to answer me, but I knew he was only processing. While he thought, he kept rubbing his fingertips over my chest, drawing random shapes, and I rubbed my hand over his back, shoulder, and arm. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet and slightly hesitant. "You mean like a _real_ date, right? As in, you and I would be officially dating?"

"Yes. That's… that's what I want." I said before placing another kiss to his forehead. "I know you don't date, or you haven't in a long time, anyway. But, Jay, I can't do a friends with benefits thing or whatever. I just can't. Not with you. I care way too much about you, and I know we'll both just end up getting hurt. But I also know that I want to… keep doing this," I waved my hand over our bodies, indicating our nakedness. "Too. I don't think I can keep my hands off you." I squeezed him for good measure.

I'd said the last part half-jokingly, but the truth was that I honestly didn't think I could. I wanted him. I wanted him more than anyone I'd ever known or seen in my life.

After what felt like an eternity, James nodded. "Okay."

"Okay? As in okay, you'll go on a date with me? Or…?"

"Yes, okay. Let's go on a date."

I smiled hugely. "Really?"

"Really."

* * *

 **Done! So it looks like things between Kendall and Ethan are rough at the moment, but on the bright side, it seems to be the push Kames needed to finally TALK and get some things out in the open.**

 **I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter will definitely be up this weekend, so don't have too long of a wait for that.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter time!**

 **Before we go any further, I would like tho thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Side1ways, winterschild11, Guest, XxxAnimaniacxxX, annabellex2, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

 _I can't believe I agreed to go on a date._

I knew that I'd agreed to be Kendall's "date" for Sammy's birthday party, but this was different. Going as someone's date to an event or whatever didn't necessarily mean that you were dating. But going on a real date with the person you were fooling around with, well, I was pretty sure it was official that we were together. Like _really_ together.

It made me feel a little panicky when I thought about it. But as we lay there, every time I'd get that nervous feeling, I'd look at Kendall or close my eyes and breath him in and I'd calm down. He always had a way of settling me. If I just thought about _him_ and not about the idea of _dating_ , I was fine. Because it was Kendall, and I guess when it came down to it, that was all that mattered. So the longer we lay on the couch, the more I thought about it, the more comfortable I became with the idea.

Plus, if I was dating Kendall, it meant that no one else was dating him, because _that_ thought really made me panic. Or at least that was what I thought, that no one else would be dating him. Better be sure.

"If we're going to be dating or whatever… it's just us, right? Like, you won't be dating other people, too?"

Kendall kissed my forehead and kept up that wonderful feeling of rubbing my skin. "No, I won't be dating anyone else or sleeping with anyone else. I just want you."

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight as I buried my smile in his chest. "Good." I muttered into his skin. "I just want you, too." I heard him sigh as he hugged me back. "Shower with me?"

"Okay." He hummed.

Even though we needed to get up and shower and get ready to go to the store, I wasn't really in a hurry, so I stayed where I was for a long time. I thought I even fell asleep at one point, but eventually, we needed to get up. I didn't have any food in the house, and I was sick of ordering takeout after a long, busy week.

So I got up and pulled him to his feet. He looked sleepy and his hair was sticking up everywhere, which made me smile. I kissed the corner of his mouth before pulling him into my bathroom. I had a shower that was big enough for us both, and while I was excited to shower with him, a part of me knew that I'd only invited him in because I was still afraid that he'd change his mind and make a run for it.

I was afraid that if he left my sight, he'd leave and never talk to me again. That was a scarier thought than trying to date him, but I knew that I wanted him in my life, in whatever form that took. That much was clear after only a week without him where I'd been an absolute mess.

When he stepped into the shower, he grinned at me and leaned in to kiss my chest as he reached for the soap. After he squirted some on his hands, instead of lathering himself up, he started soaping up my chest, shoulders and arms. He even knelt down and did my legs, skipping over my cock-the little tease. When he stood back up, he twirled his finger in the air, so I listened and turned my back to him.

He washed my back, massaging my muscles a little and making me groan. He washed my ass, then reached around so his chest was pressed to my back and his arms went around me before he lathered up my balls and cock. Instead of stopping and rinsing me off, he kept jerking my cock as I leaned into him until I finally spilled out over his hand and the wall. I groaned and slumped back against him farther, but he held me up. Once I was clean and rinsed, he shampooed my hair, rinsed it out, then placed me against the wall so he could step under the water.

I reached for the soap so I could wash him and he caught my wrist, shaking his head. "That was about you. I'll just wash real quick so we can go to the store. I know you're as starving as I am."

"But-"

He smiled and leaned over to peck my lips. "It's fine, Cupcake. We're going to run out of hot water soon, anyway."

I nodded, then leaned in to kiss his lips again. I stayed against the wall and watched him wash, wishing it was my hands all over him instead of his.

After he was clean, he turned off the water and handed me a towel. We both dried off before he followed me to my bedroom.

"Maybe we can stop by my apartment to get some clothes?" He asked as we looked at my pants drawer.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea." I pulled out a pair of sweatpants to pass him. It was better than nothing. I knew he probably wouldn't go out in public like that, though. He grabbed a T-shirt from my drawer, and I chuckled when he put it on and it hung off him slightly. He flipped me off but couldn't hide his smile.

He lifted the shirt collar to his nose. "Mmm, it smells like you. I might have to steal it."

I smiled at that. "What's with you and smelling things?" I asked, remembering him smelling my shirt the last time he borrowed clothes. Not that I had room to talk since I was a little obsessed with that apple smell of his. But I liked messing with him and pushing his buttons.

"I don't smell _things_." He shrugged. "I just like to smell _you_."

I involuntarily made a weird nose in the back of my throat, then concentrated on dressing myself in a t-shirt and jeans. After we brushed our teeth, I said, "Okay, let's head to your place first, then to the store. Do you want me to drive now so your car's still here?"

"Sure."

On the drive to his apartment, Kendall reached over and grabbed my hand. I took a deep breath at the emotions the small gesture brought up. We'd held hands a million times before, but this time it felt different. Or maybe I was just seeing it for what it really was, seeing that he wanted to be with me for the time being. I didn't really know how to handle everything I was feeling, and I sure as hell didn't know how to handle this whole dating thing without screwing up, so I figured I'd have to follow Kendall's lead.

"You okay, Cupcake?" Kendall's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I glanced at him. "Yeah, I'm okay… just thinking."

"About what?"

I didn't really know where to start. "About… everything."

After a few seconds, Kendall kissed the back of my hand before speaking. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?"

"I know." I said before deciding to change the subject. "What do you want to do for lunch?"

"You mean breakfast since we haven't eaten yet today?"

I glanced at him again and I couldn't help but grin. "You're going to want breakfast and lunch right in a row, aren't you?"

"Absolutely."

I snorted. "I seriously don't understand how you're so small."

"I'm. Not. Small."

"I don't mean, like, short. I mean that you're thin." When I glanced at his, his nose was wrinkled. "Jalapeno, you're the sexiest person I've ever seen." I didn't even have to lie because he really, truly was the sexiest person alive.

He huffed out a laugh. "Dude, you don't need to make shit like that up for me."

"I'm not. I'm… Kendall, you have to know how gorgeous you are."

He fell quiet for a few minutes before whispering, "Thank you."

When I looked at him, I was surprised that he looked a little sad. "What's the matter?" He shook his head, so I squeezed his hand. "Come on, tell me."

He sighed. "It's just…" He blew out a breath. "No one's ever said anything like that to me before."

My eyes widened and I looked at him in shock. "You've got to be kidding me."

He shrugged and went to let go of my hand, but I wouldn't let him. I had to refocus on the road, but I brought his hand up to my mouth to place a kiss there, before speaking with sincerity. "You are absolutely gorgeous, Kendall. And not just on the outside, though you are a sexy Little Jalapeno. But you're also a good person, which makes you even sexier."

Kendall didn't say anything for a while, but he did tighten his hold on my hand. When I parked the car in front of his building, he turned in his seat to face me, grabbed my face and pulled me in to kiss him deeply. He moaned into my mouth and I ate up the sound. I fisted his shirt in my hands and pulled him closer, holding on while he devoured my mouth. When he pulled away, he said softly, "Thank you, James." Then he let go of me and jumped out of the car.

He'd left so abruptly that I sat in shock for a few seconds before getting out of the car and following him inside.

Once we were standing outside his door, he turned to face me. "Um, I'm not really sure what to to about Ethan, but if he starts… saying shit again, can we just leave? I don't really want to get into another fight."

I stepped closer and put my hand on his back. As hard as it would be for me to walk away if Ethan was being cruel to Kendall, I agreed for Kendall's sake. "Of course." I said before kissing his temple.

He took a deep breath before unlocking his door and stepping inside. He stopped and froze only a few feet into the apartment and called out, "Ethan?"

I looked around Kendall trying to see what was going on and frowned when I didn't see anything. But Kendall turned to me with tears in his eyes. "I think he's gone."

"Why?" I asked, looking around again.

"His stuff's gone." He responded, pointed over to the couch.

I could tell he was getting really worked up, so I put my hands on his shoulders. "Okay, well, let's check the whole apartment first, okay? And we can call him, right?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah."

We both walked around the small apartment, but it was clear that Ethan wasn't there and neither was any of his stuff. Kendall called him, but it went straight to voicemail. Kendall left him two voicemails before sending him a text and looking at me. "I scared him off again."

I pulled him into a hug. "It's not your fault, babe. It's _not_ your fault. It wasn't your fault before and it's not your fault now."

He embraced me back and stood there with me, taking deep breaths for a few minutes. Then he pulled himself together and let go of me. "Can we… maybe check a few places I know he's stayed at?"

"Of course. But let me feed you first, okay?"

His mouth quirked up on one side. "Okay."

"Do you have eggs?" I asked, already walking into his kitchen.

"Huh? Oh, you wanna cook?"

"Yeah, I'll make us some breakfast, and we can pick up something for lunch while we're out."

"I can make something since we're at my place."

I waved him off. "I've cooked here a million times." I grabbed eggs and found a package of bacon, so I pulled that out, too. "Okay, bacon and eggs. I'll make toast, too. Why don't you change and do what you need to do?"

"Okay." He walked toward his bedroom. A few minutes later, he came back and everything was on the stove, cooking. Kendall came up beside me and ran his hand through my hair. "Thank you, Cupcake."

I smiled at that. "You're welcome, Little Jalapeno."

He smiled in amusement, then stole a piece of bacon from the skillet.

XxX

We drove from one place to another with Kendall calling Ethan's cell a million times and leaving a million messages and texts. We even started calling our friends to see if they'd seen or heard from him, but no one had.

"He made a run for it again." Kendall said with a sigh of defeat after we'd been searching for a couple of hours.

I sighed too. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. We got into a fight, and apparently, he's not adult enough to be able to handle it. He's the one who should be sorry. He's the one that's making me worry, he's the one that left...again. He's the one that said I wasn't his brother, then took off like a little chickenshit."

Okay, so Kendall was clearly at the pissed off stage, and I had to say that it was better than the devastatingly sad and grieving stage he'd been in earlier. "Maybe we can file a missing persons report or something." I suggested.

"I don't think they'll let us since he ran away, but I don't know."

"Okay, well , maybe we can keep searching. Or we can take a break and drive past the places again tomorrow. He'll show up."

"He disappeared for three years last time, Jay. I doubt he'll show up. He's good at staying hidden when he doesn't want to be found." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I know you're just trying to help."

I reached over and squeezed his thigh. "It's okay. I know he's just being a jerk and you're worried."

He covered my hand with his, so I turned my hand over and we threaded our fingers together.

"You still want to go on our date?" He asked after a little while.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"We can wait. We can just stay in tonight and watch a movie or something."

He squeezed my hand. "Okay maybe I'm not quite in the right mindset for a real date. But...I'd like to at least go out to dinner with you, if that's alright?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I think it'll be better to try and focus on something good in my life rather than obsessing over where Ethan is."

I smiled a little at the idea that he thought _I_ was something good in his life. "That sounds good. You want to go to Giovanni's?"

He snorted. "Did you just try to think of the most romantic restaurant you know?"

I grinned. "Maybe."

He laughed a little and the sound filled me with warmth. "Giovanni's sounds great, Cupcake."

* * *

I couldn't believe my brother did this to me again. How could he do this again when he knew how badly he hurt me last time? Why hadn't he at least called or left a note or a text or something. I just wanted to know that he was okay.

All night long, I kept trying to push my worry for Ethan away. James helped a lot, but the worry was like a tingle in the back of my mind that just wouldn't go away completely. It sucked. But James was amazing, and I was beyond grateful for him. The last time Etha did this I hadn't had anyone to talk to about it, let alone help me.

James had to be the sweetest person I'd ever met. The whole time we were at dinner he kept holding my hand or touching me somehow. He even made sure to sit in the chair next to me at the square table rather than the chair across from me. Our knees stayed pressed together the entire time, and he made me laugh harder than I thought possible after what happened last night and this morning with my brother.

By the time we finished eating dinner, I was feeling a million times better. I wanted to find Ethan, but I knew that I couldn't really do anything about it if he chose to stay away from me. I was hurting. I was sad and terrified for him. But James was making me feel like everything would be okay. He was holding me together when pieces of me wanted nothing more than to crumble.

When we went out to James' car, he walked to the passenger's side and pushed me against the door, kissing me and gripping my hair. I made a weird sound of surprise before melting against him. He devoured my mouth, completely consuming me before pulling back. "I know you have to work tomorrow, but will you stay the night again?" He asked.

I took a few deep breaths since I was panting. "Yes. I'd love to." I mean, seriously, was there really any question? Go back to my lonely apartment where I'd be sad and cold all by myself or stay with the sweetest, hottest guy I knew? Add in the fact that there was the possibility of sex, and it was a no brainer.

James pecked my lips, then opened my door for me so I could climb in. After shutting my door, he walked around to the other side, hopped into the driver's seat and leaned over the console to kiss my lips again before driving back to his apartment.

XxX

After waking up, I picked up my phone and was surprised and relieved to see two texts waiting for me.

 _Ethan: I'm okay. Please don't look for me._

 _Ethan: I'm so sorry._

Tears pricked my eyes. I was so fucking relieved, but so fucking sad. These were goodbye texts. He was gone for good.

I showed James the texts, and I could tell that they eased his mind a bit. He hugged me and told me it would be okay. He told me that we would keep looking for him. He let me lean on him while I processed the fact that I'd never see my little brother again. Then he helped me shower and fed me breakfast and took care of me all morning.

When I found myself saying goodbye to James, I couldn't help but notice how sad he looked. "What's wrong?"

"You're leaving."

"Yeah, but I'll see you tomorrow." My brow furrowed in confusion at the look on his face. "What is it?"

He looked at me for a long time before sighing. "It's stupid. I just...I'm afraid that once you walk away, you won't come back."

That broke my heart a little. He was so insecure about relationship shit, not matter what kind of relationship it was, but _especially_ when dealing with a romantic relationship. I cupped his cheek. "It's not stupid, James. I hate that you feel that way, but I understand. It's okay. I swear I'll be back. In fact, you're going to have a hard time getting rid of me. I'll text you when I get to my shoot, okay?"

He still looked unsure, but he nodded. "Okay."

I kissed his lips, then headed out the door. I stopped at home to change before picking Beau up and driving to a wedding location that was only twenty minutes away. As soon as I parked the car, I pulled out my phone and typed out a text.

 _Me: Just parked. Since this place is close, I shouldn't be out too late. Can I call you later?_

"You ready to go in?" Beau asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Are you taking the bride or the groom right now?" I asked. The wedding party was already on location and getting ready in different rooms since the ceremony and reception were being held at the hall.

"I really don't have a preference."

I sighed in relief. "I'll take the groom, then." I really didn't feel like dealing with a stressed-out bride after such an emotionally charged weekend.

"Sounds good." Beau said before getting out and walking to the trunk.

My phone beeped in my pocket, so I pulled it out check.

 _Cupcake: Call anytime. Have a good day, Jalapeno._

 _Me: You too, Cupcake._

Without thinking, I sent a heart emoji. I cringed a little after I hit send, then shrugged because there was literally nothing I could do about it now. It was there and there was no taking it back. Hopefully, it wouldn't freak him out too badly. I tried not to think about it too much while I was working. Luckily, I loved my job, so it was easy to get lost in the work instead of freaking out about James or Ethan or anything else. Of course, they were both in the back of my mind no matter what I did, and if I stood idle for too long, emotions would creep up on me. But keeping busy was helping settle my nerves. My nerves over that stupid heart emoji and my nerves over my missing brother.

When I got back home, I was half expecting to see Ethan waiting for me there was was majorly disappointed when he wasn't. After changing into some pajamas and heading into the kitchen in search of food, I dialed James' number.

He picked up after the second ring. "Hey, how was work?"

I smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hey. It was fine. How was your day?"

"Boring. I didn't really do anything today."

"I thought you were going to clean." I opened my refrigerator looking for something quick to eat.

"I did, but after that I had nothing to do. You were busy and Shane hasn't been here all day."

I closed the fridge and looked at my pantry with a frown. "Did he have to work today? I didn't see him this morning to ask."

"Yeah, and I guess he went over to Emily's after he got off."

I closed the pantry. "Gotcha. Hey, um, can I call you back in a couple minutes? I need to order some food because I literally have nothing to eat and I'm starving."

"You didn't eat at work?"

"No. The father of the bride was kinda bitchy so I didn't get a break."

A few beats of silence passed before he responded. "What if I bring you some dinner?"

"Huh? Right now?" I looked at the clock. It was after nine o'clock. "Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but I just thought… never mind, I don't need to. I was just trying to be nice, and I've been bored my myself, but I know you're tired. I'm sorry, it was stupid."

"No! It wasn't stupid." I yelled, then winced at my own volume. "I was just surprised, that's all. If you're really up for it, I'd love to have you over. But don't pick anything up, I'll just order something."

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"James, in case it wasn't clear already, I love spending time with you. I want to spend more time with you, pretty much every second of every day, so yes, please come over."

"Okay. But I have leftovers from my dinner, so I'll just bring them. Don't order anything."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay. And James?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring work clothes with you. Once you're inside my apartment, I'm not letting you leave until I absolutely have to."

He chuckled. "Okay. I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone with a smile on my face.

Twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door and when I opened it, James came toward me so quickly I barely had time to register his intention. His mouth hit mine and I moaned into him, automatically wrapping my arms around his neck. He put one hand on the small of my back and pressed me into him so our chests were pushed together as he completely devoured me. He kissed me so thoroughly I felt weak in the knees by the time he released my mouth.

"Hi." He said softly with a smile as he rested his forehead against mine.

I chuckled. "Hi. Thanks for coming over."

He smile widened and he pecked my lips before pulling away, holding up his hand that contained a big bag along with a suit bag, which I guess was the reason he'd only grabbed me with one hand. "Let me heat this up before you starve to death."

I reached for the bag, but he pulled it out of reach as I argued, "Let me heat up the food."

"I'll do it." He said and nodded to his suit bag. "But can you hang this somewhere? I don't even want to attempt to find a spot in that disaster zone you call a bedroom."

I snorted and flipped him off before grabbing it from him. "I'll have you know that I striaghtened it up while I was waiting for you to get here."

"Lovely. So now there's a path from the door to the bed?"

"Dick." I said with a laugh.

"Are we going to have to squeeze onto one side of the bed together?"

"Would that really be so bad?" I asked loudly as he walked into the kitchen and I walked into my _clean_ -thank you very much-bedroom. I hung his suit on the closet door so he'd be able to easily get to it in the morning, then walked back out to the kitchen. James was already making me a plate. I stood there watching him for a few minutes, fighting the urge to walk up to him and hug him from behind or kiss him or just touch him. But then I realized how stupid I was being because he came over here this late at night to bring me food and sleep in my bed. Clearly, he wasn't opposed to me touching him.

So I walked over and wrapped my hands under his arms and around his shoulders, then I leaned in to kiss the back of his neck. He leaned back into me a little but didn't stop what he was doing until he put the plate in the microwave and started it. Then he turned around and grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting my face up so he could kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned into him, letting him lead the gentle kiss. He kissed me until the microwave beeped, then he broke the kiss to get my food out.

"You wanna sit at the table or in the living room?" He asked.

"Living room. I don't want you just staring at me while I eat. Plus, I can put my feet up on the couch." _On your lap_ went unsaid, although I was pretty sure he knew my plan.

He nodded and made his way to the living room with me right on his tail. He sat down in the middle of the couch, still holding my plate, so I sat beside him. After passing me the plate, he reached down and grabbed my shins, yanking my feet up so I could drape my legs over his thighs. _He totally knew my plan._ He turned on the television with the remote, then started rubbing my feet.

"Oh my god, food _and_ a foot rub? You're never leaving my house ever again."

"You holding me hostage?" He chuckled.

"Yes, definitely." I groaned, then took a bite of food. "Seriously, wanna move in?"

He snorted. "As soon as you finish eating, you have to give me a foot rub."

I stuck out my bottom lip at him.

"I'm just kidding. I have other plans for you."

"Yeah? And what would those other plans be?"

He smirked. "I want to lick every single inch of your skin and make you come down my throat while you fuck my face."

I groaned.

He laughed and nodded at my plate. "Finish eating."

I mock-saluted him with my fork, then dug back in while he continued to rub my feet. And when we went to bed that night, he made good on his promise.

* * *

 **Done! So, it looks like things are moving forward a little bit with Kames! And it seems that Ethan is gone.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I'm hoping to have the next chapter up within the next few days, so hopefully, you won't have to wait too long for that.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello again everyone! So, I meant to have this up earlier, but life has been a little hectic lately. But it's here now! :D**

 **Before we get to it, I would like to thank you to everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, annabellex2, RainbowDiamonds, Side1ways, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I mumbled in my sleep and nuzzled farther into the back of Kendall's neck. His normal Kendall scent filled my nose, but I could smell myself on him, too. It was kind of intoxicating. I was still half asleep and spooning him, so I pulled him even closer to me and kissed his shoulder, not really aware of anything yet. He scooted back toward me and muttered something, very obviously still asleep.

God, it felt good to wake up with him in my arms.

I kissed his shoulder a few more times before I noticed him waking up. "Good morning, Jalapeno."

"Morning, Cupcake." His voice sounded a little rough, sleepy, and sexy.

I hugged him to me and he held onto my forearms, wiggling back into me a little. Abruptly, he let go and turned in my arms,, burying his face in my chest. I gently nudged him. "Give me a kiss."

He shook his head and tried to burrow into my neck. "No. Morning breath."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do. I don't wanna scare you away." He kissed my chest, so I kissed the top of his hair and held him close. "Now go back to sleep, it's too early on my day off."

I hummed, but realized I had no idea what time it was, so I peeked over to the nightstand at the clock. "Holy shit! I'm late. Fuck." I let go of Kendall and started getting out of bed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

Kendall rubbed his eyes and looked over his shoulder at the clock. "Shit. Do you have any client meetings this morning?"

"No, thank god." I thought about everything I had going on today for work, and after contemplating for a few seconds I shook my head. "Actually, now that I think about it, I don't have anything urgent. Maybe I should call in sick." I looked at Kendall, who was sleepily sitting up in bed.

"Do you have any sick days left after…?" He waved his hand over his shoulder, and I knew he meant after I'd skipped out on work for almost an entire week when we weren't talking.

"Yeah, I didn't go on vacation this year, so I still have time left." I looked at him and chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Would you… want me to stay?"

Kendall looked up at me with an adorable smile. "I thought I made myself clear. I _love_ spending time with you. I _always_ want to spend time with you. And I would love to have you with me for an entire day." He patted the bed. "Come back to bed, Cupcake."

He looked and sounded sincere, so after contemplating for another minute, I decided that I never really called out to do anything-wallowing didn't count-and since I was already late, I may as well take advantage. I picked up my phone and dialed the office. After telling my boss I was sick, I sent Logan and Carlos a text to tell them I was staying home. Then I climbed back into bed, and Kendall immediately cuddled back into my chest and kissed my neck. I was pretty sure he fell asleep after only ten seconds.

I kissed his forehead and smiled before closing my eyes and settling back in.

XxX

We spent the whole day cuddled up on the couch, sometimes sucking face, sometimes sucking each other off, sometimes just sitting there watching something together wrapped in one another's arms. All day, we'd either been naked or half naked like we were right now, both only wearing sweatpants. It was pretty much the perfect day, and I never wanted it to end.

When my phone rang while we were discussing dinner options, I grabbed it and was surprised to see Logan's name pop up. "Hello?" I answered.

"You're not at home." He said in lieu of a greeting.

I glanced at Kendall, who had his legs on my lap but was sitting close enough that he'd wrapped his arms around mine. "Um, no?"

"I thought you were sick." He sighed.

I cringed. "Um, no, I just used a sick day."

Logan sighed again. "Let me guess, you're at Kendall's?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, my husband decided you needed chicken noodle soup, so I stopped by to give it to you. Shane answered the door, so I'm pretty sure there won't be any left by the time you get home."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Loges. But thank you. You guys didn't have to do that."

"It's fine." Luckily, it sounded like he was smiling. "So, you having a good time over there?"

"Uh, yeah." I wiggled around a little. I hated talking to him about this kind of stuff.

"Alright, I guess I can let you go. I'm really glad you're not sick. Have fun, okay?"

"Thanks, Loges."

We hung up and I told Kendall what happened. Somehow, I found myself saying, "My mom used to make the best chicken noodle soup whenever me or Shane was sick."

Kendall tightened his hold on my arm and kissed my bare shoulder. "Maybe we can find a good recipe, and I'll make it for you or Shane the next time one of you are sick."

I leaned over to kiss him, but a question had been burning in my mind for a while now, so I sat back up. "What happened to your parents?"

He glanced at me, took a deep breath, then released it as he scooted even closer to me to me to lean his cheek on my arm. "I was only ten when it happened. They went out on a date, and I was with our neighbor. I guess they were mugged on the way back to their car from the restaurant they'd eaten at. They, um, were both shot and robbed, like their jewelry and wallets were stolen."

He cleared his throat "My mom died before the police and ambulance got there, and my dad bled out before they could even get him into the ambulance. Since my neighbor wasn't family, they took me into state custody. I never had any other family. Both my parents were only children, and all of my grandparents passed away before them." He blew out a shaky breath. "So I was shuffled around from foster home to foster home until I ended up in the same home as Ethan when I was fifteen. I stayed there until my eighteenth birthday."

I stuck my hand under his lower pant leg and ran my fingertips over his skin, offering silent comfort. "You went straight to college after that?"

"Yeah, I was really lucky because my parents set up a trust before they died. It wasn't a ton of money or anything, but it helped with college. When I turned eighteen, I was allowed access to the trust as long as I was in college, otherwise I would've had to wait till I was twenty-five or something. But I had that and some scholarships."

He absently ran his fingers up and down my arm. "I had an art teacher take notice of me when I was a freshman in high school. If it wasn't for her, I never would've known what I wanted to do with my life. She helped me apply for scholarships and stuff, too. She pushed me to keep my grades up in high school, and that sorta carried over into college which was good for maintaining my scholarships. That art teacher is the sole reason I was able to get a great degree in photography. She even talked to some professors at school, and they pointed me in the direction of Dak. He was a junior when I was a freshman, but he was pretty awesome and kind of took me under his wing. After he graduated and opened the studio, he asked me to come and work for him. I started out part-time until I finished school. I was really, really lucky."

"I don't think it was _all_ luck." I said. He looked up at me with a furrowed brow and I smiled a little. "You worked hard to get to where you are today. Sure, maybe you had a little help, but you're the only person that could've passed your classes and learned to be a photographer, no one did that _for_ you. You did it yourself. That's on you, not anyone else, babe."

He smiled and I could see the appreciation and amusement in his eyes.

"What?"

"You called me 'babe.''

"I did?"

He nodded. "You've been doing it for the past couple days."

I blinked a few times. "Have I? I'm sorry."

He nudged me. "No, I like it. It's a lot better than Jalapeno, at least."

I huffed out a laugh. "Hey, I like Little Jalapeno, thank you very much."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss my lips. "I like it too...babe."

I chuckled and quickly moved to pin him to the couch. He screeched then started laughing as I peppered kisses all over his face, neck, and chest. He wiggled around and tried to push me off him, then suddenly wrapped his legs and arms around me and yanked me down so I fell flat on top of him with a loud "Omph" that made us both laugh harder. His arms and legs were vices around me when I tried to lift up, so I stayed where I was.

"You're trapped here forever now." Kendall whispered into my ear.

I smiled at that and made myself more comfortable and wished it could be true. I'd love to be trapped anywhere with Kendall. I didn't even care where as long as he was with me. He kissed the top of my head and started running his fingers through my hair, making me hum in contentment. "I wouldn't mind being trapped here forever." I muttered.

"Me either." I could hear the smile in his voice. He ran his fingers over my cheek, scratching my stubble, then he nudged me until I lifted my head and kissed him. Against my lips, he whispered, "Fuck me, Jay."

I leaned back in surprise. We hadn't fucked yet, even though we'd done a million other things.

Kendall looked at me. "Please, I want to feel you inside of me." He kissed my lips. "What're you afraid of, Cupcake?"

I closed my eyes and blew out a breath before looking at him again. "I guess I'm afraid that after we… it… we'll be... _real_." _Shit, that's not what I meant._ I could see the hurt on his face, and I knew he was about to push me away, and that was the _last_ thing I wanted. "That's not what I meant. Just-"

"You don't think this, _us_ , is real?" He waved his hand between us, and his eyes looked suspiciously glossy. He pushed my shoulder and released his legs from my waist. "Get off me."

"No, Kendall, I-" I sat up because he kept pushing me and I rushed to say, "Please don't run away." We were at his house, but that didn't mean anything. He could still run or kick me out.

"I'm not...Jesus, James. I promised you I wouldn't. I just needed a little space." He sat in the corner of the couch with his knees up and his arms wrapped around them, completely closed off. He looked at me and was silent for a while before speaking. "This real for me, James Diamond. More real than any… relationship I've ever had."

I cringed at the word relationship, even though I logically knew I shouldn't, and I knew that was exactly what this was. That word just… didn't bring up good feelings, but I needed to get over that hang-up. For Kendall. I had to at least try for him.

If I was being honest, we'd been in a relationship for a while now. I just hadn't wanted to admit. I hadn't wanted to get hurt. When he remained where he was, I realized he wasn't about to bolt, so I drew in a deep breath and decided it was time to tell him the truth.

"That came out wrong. I don't know how to explain it. I just… I'm afraid that you'll realize what you're doing with me and… you'll run again."

Kendall closed his eyes, but he didn't look pissed. If anything, he looked sad and maybe even heartbroken. He opened his eyes, then crawled back over to me on the couch and knelt beside me, grabbing my face in his hands and rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm not going to run from you, James. I promise you that I'm here to stay, okay? I'm not going anywhere unless you force me to. I… I… I _care_ about you."

The way he said 'care' made me think he was about to say a different word, one I didn't deserve, one he couldn't possibly mean, one he could never feel, not for me. No matter how much I wished he could. No matter how much I wished I could give him that back. It wasn't something I was made for. That had been made clear since I was a teenager. But that fact didn't stop me from wishing I could be different. For him. It didn't stop me from wishing that he could really _love_ me.

I shook my head at him, but no words came out.

He scooted even closer to me, pressing into my side and moving so his lips were only a hairsbreadth away from mine as he said, "I. Care. About. You."

I swallowed hard, my emotions getting stuck in my throat.

Kendall gently, just barely brushed his lips over mine before repeating, "I care about you, James." He kissed the corner of my mouth and my chest tightened. "I care about you." He kissed the other corner, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut. "I care about you, James. So fucking much."

He brushed his fingers under my eyes, and I realized that my stupid, ugly, horrible emotions were spilling out. I kept my eyes closed, totally embarrassed, but Kendall kissed my cheek and in that sweet, soft voice, said again, "I care about you." He kissed my other cheek and crawled onto my lap before wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. "It's okay. It's okay, Cupcake." He whispered as the dam broke and my emotions started spilling out full force. He ran his hands through my hair and pressed his bare chest against mine, straddling my lap and looking down at me. He gently kissed my lips. "It's okay." He kissed me again, then leaned back to look me in the eyes. "I care about you, James. I. Care. More than you could ever know."

I took a shaky breath, then wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He hugged me back, one arm around my shoulders, the other hand buried in my hair, and his face against my neck. He held me. I held him. We held each other. And Kendall kissed my neck every now and again, whispering that he cared about me and that it was okay.

I didn't want to let him go, so I carried him into his bedroom and laid us down. He stayed where he was, hugging me close, holding me tight.

I tilted his chin up and searched his eyes, slowly moving in for a kiss. He melted into me and closed his eyes, and I found myself doing the same. I wanted him closer to me. I wanted to feel him everywhere. So I ran my hands all over his body as he clung to me, pulling me closer and closer until there was no air left between us.

We were like two magnets, drawn together, kissing and drinking each other in. I took his pants off so he was naked, and he took off mine. His skin was so soft and smooth against my own. We were pressed to each other, but I wanted, _needed_ more. Without pulling my mouth away from his, I reached into his nightstand. We'd fooled around enough that I knew where his lube was and I'd seen the condoms before. When I covered my fingers in lube and made my way down to Kendall's hole, he whimpered into my mouth and gripped my back and hair and pulled me a little closer, like he was afraid I'd try to move away.

We rutted against each other, skin on skin, as I opened him up with one finger, then two, then three. He was pressing his ass back onto my fingers at this point, but he never broke our kiss. Then suddenly, he was pushing me until I was sitting against the headboard, and he was on my lap again.

He reached behind himself and put the condom on my shaft, then lubed me up, but still, he didn't stop kissing me. And he didn't stop kissing me as he lowered himself onto my cock. He whimpered into my mouth again-such a sweet, sexy sound-and I moaned into his as his tight heat engulfed me.

He moved slowly, taking me inside him agonizingly slow until I was fully seated inside him.

I shivered and ran my hands over his back and thighs. When he finally moved again, I thought I was going to explode from the pleasure of it. He felt so good, like nothing I'd ever felt before. Kendall started a slow, excruciating pace that I was sure would make me come embarrassingly soon. When he sped up a tiny bit, he breathlessly broke out kiss.

"James." He breathed out. I opened my eyes and looked into his sweet green ones that were filled with so much emotion. Lust, for sure, but also happiness, contentment, enjoyment, and… and the thing I knew couldn't be true, even if it was right in front of my face. "James." He breathed out again and I melted a little. Hearing my name on his lips, sounding like a plea, made something in my chest explode with warmth at the same time that blissful fire ignited all over my body.

"Kendall, I'm gonna…" I grabbed the back of his head with one hand to pull him back into a kiss and with the other, I reached between us to jerk his leaking cock. It only took a few strokes before he erupted between us, spilling his cum all over both of our chests. He moaned loudly, calling out my name, and that was it, I exploded right along with him. His body quivered and tightened around me, milking me for every last drop I had. The fire, pleasure, and bliss shooting through me made me see stars behind my eyelids.

We trembled and panted together, rested our foreheads together as we both came down from our amazing highs.

When we'd calmed, Kendall reached over and grabbed his sweatpants, then wiped both our chests before slowly lifting up so my cock slid out of him. He pulled off and tied the condom, then threw it away. He pulled me down until we were lying side by side, holding one another tight. He kissed my lips gently, slowly, as he ran his fingertips over my hair, neck, and back, leaving chills in their wake. I pulled the comforter from the foot of the bed over top of us and kissed him back, tracing shapes on his back with my fingers.

Right before I fell asleep, I heard Kendall quietly say, "I care about you, James Diamond. More than you'll ever know. And I'll keep saying it if I have to until you believe me."

He thought I was asleep, but I'd heard him, so kissed his surprised lips and said, "I care about you too, Kendall Knight."

I heard him sigh as he snuggled into me and held me tighter in his arms.

He fell asleep a long time before me because I lay there thinking about how perfect it felt to have him in my arms, how perfect it had felt to be inside of him, how perfect it felt to have him _stay_. I didn't want any of this to go away. But that broken part of me knew that it would eventually.

And I'd never be the same.

I'd be unfixable, and worse than ever before.

* * *

When James left for work this morning, I couldn't believe how much I'd missed him only ten seconds after he was out the door. He's slept over again last night, but we both had to work today, and we weren't sure if we'd see each other later or not since he had to catch up with work after our impromptu staycation day.

On my way through the door of the studio, I called my brother and left yet another voicemail. The little jerk hadn't responded back since he sent those two stupid texts. There wasn't anything I could do about it, either.

Since I was such an ass when James and I first started hanging out, I decided to get right to it and headed into Dak's office as soon as I walked into the studio. Dak was already there, sitting at his desk and he looked up when I walked in. "What's up?"

"James and I are dating." I blurted before I even said hello.

Dak lifted one, perfectly sculpted brow. "Um, thanks for the announcement?" He said it like a question.

I took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you so you'd know, and it was out of the way. Are you gonna be weird about it?"

His eyebrow stayed up. "I'm not the one that came in here screaming about my relationship status."

I sighed and shrugged. "I thought you'd be weirded out."

Dak leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair as he let out a deep breath. "Okay, I won't lie and tell you that it's not a little weird to see you with him." I frowned, but he held up his hand to stop me from commenting. "But it's not because I still have feelings for him. Yes, I'll always love and care about him, just not in the way you're thinking. I love Jett, he's the love of my life. James is someone I cared about for a long time, and will continue to, and I hope he finds happiness. If that means he's with you, then good. I want you to be happy, too." He shrugged. "That's what matters. We'll all get used to it after a while, anyway, right?"

I puffed out my cheeks and let everything he said sink in before I opened my mouth. "Okay, I get it. Just… if you ever feel weird or something when we're out or whatever, will you tell me so we can figure it out?"

"Ken, it's going to be fine, I promise."

"But you'll tell me, though, right?"

"Sure."

I nodded.

Dak suddenly smirked at me. "So, you and James, huh? Did you actually get him to agree to go on a date?"

"Yeah, we went out on Saturday. And, um, he came over Sunday night after I got home… and he didn't leave until this morning."

Dak's eyebrows shot up, but he was smiling. "Wow. That's…" He trailed off, then shrugged with a small smile. "You look happy."

"I am." I said honestly. I was happier than I'd been in a long time. Even after Ethan left, James made me feel like I mattered to someone, like he cared about me, even if my own brother didn't.

"You know that you can talk to me, right? Even if it's James stuff."

"I know, Dak. Thanks."

He reached across the desk and patted my hand before I got up and headed to the break room where I ran into Jett. Jett crossed his arms over his chest and eyed me before he said, "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but I walked past the office and overheard."

"Uh, okay?"

"If he hurts you, I'll kick his ass."

I eyed him. He was about the same height as me and was lean, but pretty muscular from working out every morning. I didn't think he could kick James' ass, but I really didn't know, and if the two of them _did_ get into a fight, I had no doubt they'd both end up hurt. Not that either of them would really do that, but still. I frowed. "I don't need you to, but, uh, thanks." I knew he meant well, and honestly, it was kinda sweet that he wanted to protect me.

He nodded and walked past me, patting my shoulder on his way and making me smile.

As I threw my jacket, wallet, and keys in my little locker, I pulled out my phone and typed out a text.

 _Me: I told Dak about us and you officially have a threat from Jett. You better watch yourself!_

I sent an emoji with its tongue sticking out. James replied right away.

 _Cupcake: I can take him._

I snorted and typed back.

 _Me: Sure you can. Have a good day, BABE!_

I stuffed my phone in my back pocket and went to the front desk to look at our appointment book, checking out the rest of the week. When I saw what was on my schedule for Thursday, I groaned.

Dak must've heard me from his office, because he yelled, "It's your turn!"

"I hate you!" I yelled back.

"Love you too!" He called out.

I groaned again. I hated having to go to schools and do the portraits. We didn't do them very often since most public schools used the same big-named place. But there were a couple private schools that hired us. It looked like I was going on location on Thursday with Beau.

My phone beeped with an incoming text, so I checked it.

 _Cupcake: Thanks, babe. You too._

I smiled at that and put my phone away as a customer walked in the front door.

* * *

 **Done! There you have it! More Kames-ness. :P We also got Kendall telling Dak about his relationship with James.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **The next chapter of this story will be up either Saturday or Sunday, so you won't have to wait too long for that. :)**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello again everyone! It's time for a new chapter!**

 **Of course, before we get to that, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Guest, Side1ways, annabellex2, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

The next day, when I was walking into my apartment, James called my cell. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, um, you're off work right now, right?" James asked, sounding a little...off.

"Yeah, why? Are you okay?" I set my keys on my table.

"Um...I found a cat. Well, not just _a_ cat, but Mrs. Henderson's cat. And uh, my other neighbors said that Mrs. Henderson passed away."

I froze midway through taking my shoes off. "Shit...I'm so sorry, Jay. Do you want me to come over?" I asked. I knew he hadn't been particularly close to Mrs. Henderson, but I also knew that they'd been neighbors for a long time, and he had to be upset about it.

"Actually, do you think you could come with me to the vet?"

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't understand. What are you...why do you need to go to the vet?"

"Her cat was in the hallway again, and when I scooped him up to give him back to her like I always do, one of my other neighbors told me about Mrs. Henderson. She said that Mrs. Henderson didn't have any family at all so the apartment owners came to pack her stuff up and sent it all of to be donated or something. They must've missed the cat. And...she said that I could take him to the shelter, but I don't think I can do it. What if they put him to sleep?"

After processing what he was saying, I nodded to myself and started slipping my shoes back on all the way. "So you're keeping the cat because there's no one to take him?"

"Um, maybe? I want to at least take him to the vet and make sure he's okay. He seems pretty terrified and I don't know much about animals. Shane's not home because he had his lab class tonight, and I was wondering if… maybe you could come with me?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm heading out to my car now." I grabbed my keys and walked back out, locking up behind me. "Do you want me to grab anything on my way?"

"I don't think so. I called Isaac already to see if I could bring the little guy to him, so he's waiting for me." Isaac was friends with Dak and Carlos. I'd forgotten that he was a veterinarian.

"Oh, good idea." I hopped in my car and started it. "I'll be there in a couple minutes, okay. Want me to just call you so you can jump in my car and we can go?"

"You don't mind driving?"

"Nope. I'll call you in a couple minutes, Cupcake."

"Thanks, Kendall."

"Anytime." I hung up and made the short drive over to James' apartment, then called him when I was outside. I couldn't help but smile when I saw James come out with the cat wrapped up in a blanket. When he sat in the car, I held out my hand, palm down, for the cat to sniff as I said, "Hi, little guy. Do you have a name?"

"He does, but I can't remember it." James said. "I've helped catch this damn cat a million times, and I still can't remember his name. He's the one that's always escaping and running around the building."

"Mmhmm, I've caught him a couple times, too."

"Yeah, I think everyone that lives in the building has."

"Well, we should name him something, at least for now."

"You think?"

"Did you plan on calling him 'cat' for the rest of his life?" I smiled at him when he rolled his eyes, then I grabbed his chin and gently turned him to me. "Hi."

He smiled. "Hi." Then he leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. "Thanks for coming with me."

"You know I would've been upset if I missed it. I love adventures." He smiled as I backed out of the parking spot and I asked, "You know where we're going, right?"

"Yeah, it's not far." He said before giving me the directions.

"Got it." I drove out of the parking lot, following his directions. "So about that name. What kind of name do you want?"

"If I name him, does that mean I have to keep him?"

I glanced at him for a second before refocusing on the road. "Babe, I'm pretty sure you already decided to keep him. You're freaking out over him already."

"I'm not freaking out."

"Okay, not freaking out, but you're obviously concerned."

"That doesn't mean I'm keeping him."

"Then why aren't we going straight to the shelter to drop him off?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw James hug the cat to his chest at the mention of the shelter and I bit back a smile. He blew out a breath. "Okay, fine. I want to keep him."

"Then he needs a name."

"Okay… like what?"

I laughed. "I dunno. What kind of name do you want? A person name like Tom or Bob, or do you want something like Fluffball or something?"

"I don't know, but none of those sound right."

"Okay." I tried thinking about names for a grey, white, and black very fluffy cat. "What about Furface?"

"Pass."

"Chilly?"

"Nah."

"Tiger?"

"He does have some stripes on his back, but I don't think that fits, either."

"It's a boy, right?"

"Yes. What about… Jack?"

I peered at the cat. "You really want to name him Jack?"

"I don't know. It's the first name I could think of." After a few seconds, he said, "Monster?"

I laughed at that. "Okay, that's kinda cute."

"Eh, it's okay. Let's keep thinking."

"Grey Leaf?" I randomly said.

"No. Scaredy Cat?"

I laughed. "Oh my god, don't name him that. He'll be doomed."

He laughed a little. "So far, I like Monster the best."

"It's cute." I said with a nod as I made the next turn. "Titus?"

"I like that, too."

Without looking at him, I smiled and said, "You still like Monster. Go with that, then."

After a few seconds, he nodded. "Yeah, okay. Monster, it is." He bent over and whispered into the cat's ear, though I could still hear him. "What do you think? Is Monster okay? I'm sorry I can't remember what Mrs. Henderson named you."

I smiled to myself as I saw the sign for the veterinarian's, so I made the turn and parked my car. James and I made our way inside and signed in. I held the cat in my lap while James filled out a million forms, and by the time he was done, a nurse came out to call us back to a room.

Once we were back there, it only took a few minutes for Isaac to come inside. He shook both of our hands before he started examining Monster. He was in his element, checking over the cat and giving James a shitload of information. In fact, I couldn't even remember a time when I'd heard Isaac talk this much. He may have been friends with Dak and Carlos, but he was nothing like them.

He said the cat looked healthy, but he still gave him a couple shots since we had no clue if he'd had shots before. Then he even helped us make a list of all the supplies James was going to need at home. We were clearly going to need to make a trip to the pet store.

Once we were finally in the car, I said, "Let me drop you and Monster off, and I'll run to the store to get everything."

"I can't make you do that." James said automatically.

"You're not. I want to help."

James looked at me for a minute before looking at Monster. "Well, Isaac said that Monster would probably sleep for the rest of the night from the shots and stress, so why don't we drop him off, then go to the store together."

"That's fine, Cupcake." I smiled at him and made my way back to his apartment. After we set up the cat, we drove to the nearest pet store, and I was pretty sure that James ended up buying, like, half the store. We went back inside his house and began setting up the litter box and everything. "Did you eat dinner yet?"

James froze and stared at me. "Holy shit, you didn't eat yet?" I shook my head. "I'm so sorry, you should've told me. We could've gotten something while we were out."

"We were busy." I shrugged.

James frowned at me. "You gotta take care of yourself, though."

I grinned. "Jay, it's fine. Really. It was only one meal. I'll just raid your fridge right now."

"I'll order you a pizza."

"A whole pizza, just for me?"

"Obviously. You're like a bottomless pit."

I laughed and pulled him into me, then wrapped my arms around his neck. "Can I stay for the night?"

"You can stay anytime you want."

I smiled at that and pulled him in to kiss me. He wrapped me in his arms, kissing me back, then nipping along my jaw. "You taste good." He muttered. "But I need to order you some food." He pushed me back against the counter. "Stay here for a minute."

I nodded and released him, then crossed my arms as I waited for him to return to the kitchen. I heard him order a pizza with my favorite toppings-buffalo chicken, hell yeah-and when he came back into the kitchen, he didn't say anything, he just walked right over to me and kissed me again while fiddling with my pants. He unhooked my jeans, pulled them down, and wordlessly dropped to his knees.

He ran his lips over my lacy underwear and looked up at me. "These are so sexy."

I ran my hand through his hair and smiled. "Thanks." Most guys I'd dated in the past thought I was a freak for wanting to wear lacy underwear, which I knew was ridiculous, but it had still always hurt my feelings. Of course, I'd never really told anyone about that, and I still wore them because they were for me, not for anyone else.

They made me feel good, so anyone that didn't like them could suck it. Or... _not_ suck it, actually, but they could totally kiss my ass. The fact that James liked them and had never, even once, made me feel bad for liking to wear them, meant more to me that I could possibly tell him.

I cupped his chin and leaned down to kiss him on the lips. He kissed me back while his hands roamed over my ass and cock through my underwear, giving me chills. When I groaned loudly into his mouth, James gently pushed my chest so I'd stand back up and he peppered kisses along my stomach, lifting my shirt a little. Then he licked my cock through my underwear and gently nipped at it, making me feel like I was going to blow my load before he even pulled my underwear down. He teased me mercilessly, licking and nipping, using his lips, teeth, tongue, through my underwear until I was begging.

"Please, James, please suck me off before I die."

He chuckled, his hot breath brushing over my now-wet underwear. But thank god, he listened to me and slowly pulled them down, released my aching cock and taking it to the back of his throat in one fell swoop.

"Holy mother of god!" I yelled, burying my fingers in his hair and flexing my hips. He reached behind me and pulled on my ass, encouraging me to fuck his mouth, so I did just that. I pumped into him with abandon, and before I knew it, I was exploding in his mouth in a white-hot current of bliss that shot through my entire body over and over and over again.

When my orgasm finally subsided and James licked me clean, I leaned against the cabinets behind me, then slid to the floor, landing with my bare ass on the cold tite. I couldn't manage to care one bit. I felt completely boneless. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. "You are way too good at that." I muttered.

He chuckled and sat beside me, leaning against the cabinets.

"I can't decide if I'm happy that you clearly have a lot of experience because that was the best goddamn blowjob I've ever had, or if I'm jealous that you've done that so many times."

He didn't say anything to that, not that I could blame him because I just made it awkward, but he did put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I went easily and wrapped my arms around his waist. He kissed my hair and when I finally recovered enough to move, I pulled his pants down, right there on the floor, and showed him my own skills. He came pretty quickly and after cleaning him up, I ended up climbing back up to rest against his side and hug his waist. We stayed that way until the pizza arrived.

We both ate before we headed to his bedroom where we found the cat on the bed already. We laughed, then squeezed onto one side of the bed while the cat had the other. As much as I wanted to complain, I was actually pretty happy because it meant that I _had_ to cuddle close to James. Not that he'd seemed to mind any other time before then, but I cuddled extra close, thanks to Monster.

* * *

 _ **Five Months Later**_

Dak and Jett adopted two dogs this past week and they were so adorable. They'd brought them to the studio all week and now I officially wanted a dog. Dak and Jett had asked me to switch weddings with Dak so he could stay home with the doggies. So I worked a Saturday with Jett, and we were finally packing up for the night. Luckily, it'd been an earlier wedding so it wasn't crazy-late. I was so relieved because I just wanted to go home. Well, not _home_ , but to James'. He was waiting for me.

"How's your boyfriend treating you?" Jett asked casually as we finished packing up our equipment.

"He's great, Jett. I told you that he treats me well. You need to stop worrying." I said, following behind Jett to the SUV, each of us carrying a bunch of bags so we'd only need to make the one trip. He'd been driving me crazy lately with his constant worrying. It was so sweet that he cared, but I was getting sick of defending James every time Jett was around.

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"Look, I get it. But… you know it's not the same. He and Dak may have had their issues in the past, he really is a great guy and he's good to me. I'm happy."

He smiled at me and for once, I didn't think it was fake, like maybe he finally fucking believed me. "Good. I really am happy for you, Kendall."

"Thanks, babe." I smirked and stepped closer to him so I could pat his cheek patronizingly-because he totally deserved it-then I snickered and put the last bag in the car. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at me.

Jett shook his head before walking around to the driver's seat. "I'll drop you off at home."

"I'm not going home." I said with a smile, thinking about seeing James.

"Fine. I'll drop you off at his house, then."

"Thanks, Jett." I said as I hopped into the car.

While he drove me to James' house, I wanted to change the subject, so I absentmindedly glanced in the visor mirror as I said, "So I heard that a friend of yours got married when you guys all took that vacation to Vegas. How the hell did that happen?" Dak and Jett, along with a few of their friends had all went to Vegas for vacation a couple weeks ago. James and I had been invited, but we'd bowed out because we kind of felt like we'd be intruding a bit.

Plus, we hadn't even vacationed together yet, so when we did, we wanted it to be just the two of us. Although, we'd probably end up taking Shane, too. Not that I cared because I loved that kid. We'd gotten closer over the last few months. But apparently, we'd missed a shit-ton of excitement in Vegas, including a wedding. A wedding between Hunter and Tristan. They went from secret hookups at birthday parties to getting married. So crazy.

"I'm not allowed to talk about that."

I shot Jett a look. "What's that supposed to mean? I already saw all their photos on, like, every single social media outlet possible."

"I'm not supposed to talk about it."

I blinked at him but noticed he looked kinda pissed. "Says who? Hunter? He's not letting you talk about his fucking surprise wedding? I didn't even know that he and Tristan were dating." I watched as Jett's jaw ticked and my eyes widened. "Holy fucking shit! They didn't plan it, did they?"

"I cannot confirm nor deny that."

I smacked Jett's shoulder and laughed. "Oh my god, you are so annoying. Where's your husband when I need him? Or better yet, I'll go straight to the source and ask Tristan."

Jett sighed. "Look, I don't really know what's going on between the two of them, but I know that Hunter's a private person and he's been really… upset about the whole thing being posted everywhere. He and Tristan have… I don't know, but something happened between them a couple years ago. Neither one of them will talk to me about it. And they _both_ asked me to stay out of it and respect their privacy. So honestly, I don't know if they meant to get married or it was some kind of weird...accident."

I blew out a long breath. "Well, okay then. That's...I mean, every time I've seen them together, it's been weird, to say the least."

"Yeah." After a few minutes, he asked, "You really are happy with James, aren't you?"

Instead of saying something snarky to him since he'd asked me the same question about a million times over the months, I just nodded. "I really am."

He glanced at me with a small smile. "I know I'm driving you crazy."

I laughed. "I'm not going to correct you there."

He snorted. "It's just… he really hurt Dak, and maybe he didn't mean to, but he did. So I can't help but worry about you."

I sighed. "I know. But I can assure you he wouldn't purposely hurt Dak. Or me, for that matter. He's the sweetest person I've ever dated and I… I really care about him."

Jett glanced at me before nodding and pulling into James' apartment's parking lot. Before I jumped out of the car, he stopped me. "Why don't you guys come over for dinner? Dak was talking about hosting a dinner party for our friends soon, and I'd really like it if you guys came. I think we're gonna try to do it next weekend."

I eyed him. "You seriously want my boyfriend in the same room as you for an extended period of time?"

"Yes."

I eyed him for a moment, then laughed a little. "Dak made you promise to invite us, didn't he?"

Jett rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide his smile. "Okay, you got me. But I seriously would like it if you guys came. I really do want to get to know him."

I nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to him about it."

He nodded in response.

"Cool. Alright, I'll see you later. Give your new puppies kisses for me."

He smirked a little. "Will do. See ya, Kendall."

I got out, shut the door and waved, although, he didn't drive away until I made it inside the building. He'd always done that, which I'd always found as a sweet gesture. He was a good guy, even though he was a little neurotic about certain things. But he was still a good friend.

As I made my way up to James' apartment, I sent my daily text to Ethan. I'd been calling him several days a week and sending daily texts. He hadn't ever texted back since those two initial texts months ago. But I didn't want to give up on him. I wanted him to know that I loved him, even when he was acting like this.

I reached James' place and knocked on the door. He opened it a minute later and immediately pulled me into a kiss before he even said hello. I smiled against his lips and let him pull me into the apartment. He shut the door behind me and pushed my jacket off as I toed off my shoes without parting our lips. Then he gripped my hair and angled my head so he could deepen the kiss.

Before we could get any further, I heard Shane say loudly, "Oh, come on! Seriously?! Why can't you at least wait until I'm out of the room? Or better yet, why don't you guys go into your room?"

James broke the kiss and without looking away from he, he yelled back to his brother, "We were only saying hello. Don't look, if you don't like it."

"Dickhead." Shane said as he walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Kendall."

I smiled a little since I was still in James' face. "Hey, Shane."

"We were waiting for you to eat. And I'm starving, so let's eat." He yelled from the kitchen.

I laughed as James rolled his eyes. "Your food obsession is rubbing off on him."

I laughed against and pecked James' lips, then grabbed his hand and pulled him into the kitchen where Shane was already piling food on his plate. Monster ran over to me and started rubbing against my legs, so I picked the cat up to pet him and give him some kisses. He usually greeted me at the door, but I guess James had been in the way.

"You're the only one he does that for." James said, leaning over to scratch Monster's head.

"Does what?"

"Runs to you as soon as you come in."

"Maybe because I'm not here all the time." I shrugged because I'd thought Monster was just super friendly. I kissed his head and hugged him for another minute before setting him on the ground so I could get some food. I grabbed a plate before looking over at Shane. "How're the new classes going?" I asked him.

Classes had been in session for a few weeks, but Shane had been pretty quiet about them for some reason.

He sighed. "They're alright, I guess."

"Are you taking anything exciting?" Monster followed me around the kitchen, rubbing against my legs the entire time.

"Not really."

James leaned in and whispered into my ear, "He's been like that all week. So blah about everything."

I frowned, then asked, "Where's Emily?"

Shane tensed a little before shrugging his shoulders. "Don't know, don't care."

"Wait, did you guys break up?" James asked.

"Yeah."

"Shit...why didn't you tell me?" James asked.

"Because I didn't want to talk about it like you're making me do right now. We broke up. It's over. I'm trying to move on from it. End of discussion."

"You know you can talk to me if you need to, Shay." James said softly, his entire demeanor changed from how it was just a minute ago.

His brother sighed and looked at him. "I know that, and I appreciate it. I really do. But I don't want to talk about it."

James opened his mouth to say something else, but I nudged him, trying to get him to shut up. He got the message as we watched Shane walk out of the kitchen. "Dak and Jett want us to come over for some dinner party thing next weekend. Wanna go?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Uh, do you want to?"

"Kind of. But if you think it'll be weird, then I don't want to."

"No, I guess it'll be fine. We saw them at Christmas and their New Year's party and everything."

"You mean the New Year's party that we literally bowed out of after less than an hour?" I asked.

He laughed a little. "It was better staying home with you."

I half-smiled at that, then kissed his jaw before scooping some mashed potatoes onto my plate. "Oh my god, you made real mashed potatoes. You are the best boyfriend ever."

He snorted and I was happy that he'd stopped tensing up every damn time I called him my boyfriend. I'd even heard him refer to me that way a few times over the holidays. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "Well, I think _you're_ the best boyfriend ever."

"So many points." I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"Nothing!" My eyes widened when I realized what I'd said out loud.

"Did you just give me _points_?"

"Um...no?"

He laughed. "Do you have some kind of weird point system going on that I don't know about?"

"Nope, no, definitely not. That would be crazy."

He burst out laughing "You are the worst liar ever. How many points do I have, huh? Who's winning? Me or you?"

I set my plate on the counter, then turned to face him and run my fingers over his stubbled jaw. "You have so many that I lost count months ago."

His eyes were sparkling with humor, but there was also a softness under them, one that I was pretty sure was appreciation.

"You're winning, Cupcake. By a landslide."

He leaned down to kiss me, and I felt little butterflies go off in my stomach. Even after months of being together, his sweet gestures and kisses always blew me away. So much so that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I'd fallen for this man a long time ago, maybe before we'd even started dating. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a guy. Sweet, kind, caring, funny, and so fucking loving with such a big heart that he didn't even realize it. He was the best person I'd ever met. He was truly my best friend, the best friend I'd ever had in my entire life. And I loved him more than I ever thought possible. I just wished I could tell him.

We broke our kiss and finished plating our food, then went out to the dining table to join Shane for dinner. We'd been trying to make sure the three of us had dinner together at least a couple times a week. After talking for a while, Shane randomly said, "I wish we had a backyard so we could grill this summer."

I swallowed my bite of steak before saying, "Maybe we can go to a park and grill there. I know a few of them have their own grills. I'm not sure if you need special permission to use them or not, but we could look into it."

"That's a good idea." Shane said with a smile before looking at his brother. "Do you remember the huge barbeques Mom and Dad used to have? Wouldn't it be fun to do something like that?"

James shrugged and got this sad look on his face, just like every other time his parents were brought up. "I guess."

I frowned at him, but looked at Shane and said, "I think that would be awesome. Maybe one day one of us will have a yard we can host stuff in. I remember when I was a kid, my parents used to have barbeques in the back yard for their work friends. We didn't have any other family, and I don't really remember them having many friends other than a few people they worked with. But I used to hate when all these strange adults invaded my yard because it was supposed to be _my_ place to play and have fun, you know? And if someone sat in the hammock, I had a hissy fit." I laughed at the memory of my ridiculous self.

"Hammock?" James asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, we had a couple trees in our yard and my mom hooked up a hammock between two of them. It was my favorite place in the world. My mom and I used to lay in that thing together and pick out shapes in the clouds. Sometimes my dad would climb in, too." I smiled thinking about how happy the three of us were back then.

James reached over and squeezed my thigh. "That sounds nice."

I nodded. "It was. But when their work friends were over, I hated having them sit in my hammock. Especially if it was other kids sitting in it. The last time we had people over, I asked Mom to take it down so no one would sit in it, and she told me I had to share, so she left it up. I was so pissed at her." I smiled at the thought. I didn't talk about my parents much, never, really. It was nice to share a couple memories, even if they made me seem like a total little shit of a kid.

"Well, then, I guess that means we'll need to get a grill and a hammock when one of us has a yard." Shane said with a grin.

I smiled at him. "That would be nice."

"It would." James added before brushing a stray piece of hair off my forehead, then running his thumb down my cheek.

After finishing up with dinner, the three of us watched a movie together-Monster stayed on my lap for the whole thing-before going to bed.

* * *

 **Done! So, we got more Kames, who have a new addition to the household. We also got more of Shane, along with Jett, who seems ready to finally try and get to know James.**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I loved that you all loved the whole Jett threatening James thing last chapter! Hopefully, you all like him in this chapter as well. :P**

 **Until next chapter!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get into it, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, RainbowDiamonds, winterschild11, Side1ways, annabellex2, and XxxAnimaniacXxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

For some reason, going to Dak and Jett's house was making me anxious. I didn't really know why, but maybe it was because I knew how much Jett disliked me and didn't approve of my relationship with Kendall. It was weird, and sometimes still made me squirm, referring to what Kendall and I had as a relationship. He'd told me before that we didn't need to define it, but I could see how much it meant to him every time I referred to him as my boyfriend or said the dreaded R-word in reference to us. So I'd decided to get over it and try to start using 'boyfriend' and 'relationship' whenever I could. Baby steps.

If calling him my boyfriend would help me keep him around, I'd do it. I'd do pretty much anything to keep Kendall in my life. Honestly, I hoped I could keep him forever.

So I guess that was how I found myself walking up the sidewalk to my ex's-and his husband's-house, going to a dinner party with my boyfriend.

"It's going to be fine." Kendall said, grabbing my free hand-the other hand carried a bag with the dessert we'd made together-and lacing our fingers together. His touch helped ground me when I felt like I was about to come out of my skin.

"Mmhmm." I hummed, but didn't open my mouth in case I threw up all over him.

Kendall pulled me to a stop and made me face him. "I promise it's going to be fine. And if you're still uncomfortable in a little while, we'll make an excuse and leave, okay?"

"I'm not making you leave just because I'm a little uncomfortable." _More like a lot uncomfortable._

"You're more important to me than anyone else in there."

When he said things like that, it made butterflies go off in my stomach and made me feel like he wanted this to last just as badly as I did. I cleared my throat. "But I want you to have a good time. I don't want you to leave because of me."

"James, I don't care about anything else but you." He leaned over and kissed my jaw, making those butterflies intensify. "Besides, if you're uncomfortable and not having a good time, I'm not going to have a good time, either, because I'll be worried about you."

I cracked a smile. "Okay, well, I'll try to have a good time."

He snorted. "That's not what I meant. But I hope you'll be okay after a little while." He cupped my cheek and I grabbed his elbow before he pulled me in to kiss me softly. "I want to be with you. Screw everyone else."

He said it with so much conviction, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that he meant it, that he'd always mean it. I knew I was falling for him. Or had fallen for him. I'd honestly cared about him more than almost anyone else in my entire life for a long time. That was why I was fighting so hard to keep him around.

Kendall wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me, so I hugged him back with the bag hitting his leg. "What's wrong? If you're really that worried, we can leave. I'll call Dak and tell him I'm not feeling good or something." He offered.

I smiled at that. "We're literally standing right outside their house. I'm pretty sure we've been spotted by now."

"I don't care. We don't have to stay."

I buried my nose in his hair, breathing in his apple shampoo scent. "It's not that."

He leaned back to look at me as he ran his hands through my hair, probably messing it up while he was at it. He kissed my lips. "Talk to me, babe."

I smiled a little. "I'm fine. I'm just in a weird mood, okay? Let's go inside."

He kept running his hands through my hair. "Are you sure, Cupcake? I really don't mind if you want to leave."

"Thank you. Really. But it's fine." I pulled away from him and grabbed his hand to pull him up the sidewalk. "Come on, Jalapeno."

He kissed the back of my hand when I knocked on the door. Jett answered with a "Hey, guys" and a glance in my direction.

I stifled a sigh and said, "My boyfriend and I made some dessert." I held up the bag.

"Boyfriend?" Jett sounded surprised, which made me stifle another sigh.

"For fuck's sake, Jett, I told you already." Kendall said.

Jett looked at Kendall. "I know, but it's different hearing him actually say it."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, but Kendall actually rolled his and pushed Jett's shoulder. "Leave us alone and get inside." I bit my lip, a little uncomfortable at their easy camaraderie. It was very clear they were used to being around one another, and I didn't really like it.

Jett eyed me before blowing out a breath, his eyes softening a little. "I'm sorry. I really am glad you guys could make it. Come on in." He waved us in, so I walked past him with a nod.

I made my way into the kitchen to drop off the dessert with Kendall right behind me. There were a lot of people here, most of whom I knew, so I said hello along the way. As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, I heard Dak yell, "You made it!"

I smiled at him. "Hey, Dak." My brow furrowed as I took him in. Or rather, the purple fluff ball in his hands, and it took me a few minutes to realize it was one of his new dogs. The little fluffy thing had a scrunched-up face and teeth poking out and wasn't exactly the cutest animal I'd ever seen but, somehow, that made him even cuter. But seeing a purple dog was… weird as shit. Kendall had told me that the kids had used dog friendly dye on one of the dogs, but that still hadn't prepared me for it.

Dak walked over and gave me a one-armed hug that I awkwardly returned, then he hugged Kendall before passing him the dog. "Would you or James mind watching him for a minute while I finish getting this dip together? He was freaking out a little when people started arriving, and Jett's too busy answering the door."

"Sure, no problem. I love this little guy." Kendall said, giving the dog a kiss and a scratch on his head. For some reason, it surprised me how much Dak seemed to trust my boyfriend, though it really shouldn't since they'd known each other for a long time. I knew for a fact that Dak wouldn't have passed that dog to just anyone. In fact, he hadn't passed him to any of the other people that were already here.

"Thanks." Dak kissed Kendall's cheek, which made me bristle, but then he did the same to me before grabbing the bag from me and walking over to the counter. "Thanks for bringing this, guys."

I nodded and scooted closer to Kendall. I let the dog sniff my hand, and once he was okay with me, I leaned over him to place a hard kiss on Kendall's lips. Kendall smiled and when we broke the kiss, he looked amused and happy.

A black pit bull with a white spot on her chest startled me when she licked my hand. That must have been Dak and Jett's other dog. "You have nothing to worry about with her. She's a sweetheart." Kendall said as he reached down to pet the dog while I patted the dog's side. Once she trotted away, he asked, "Wanna go find Logan or someone?"

I absentmindedly pet the purple dog with one hand and rubbed my other hand over Kendall's lower back. "I guess so." I said as I looked at the dog, then back at Kendall. "Animals really like you."

He shrugged. "I like animals."

"Why didn't you ever get a pet before?"

"My building didn't allow pets."

I frowned. "Well, at least we have Monster now."

For some reason, a huge grin spread across his face. "Yes, _we_ do." He pecked my lips. "Maybe we should get another cat."

"I don't know if Monster would like that very much."

He chuckled a little, then said, "Let's go talk to some of our friends."

"Fine. But next weekend, we're going to be lazy and watch movies."

"Sounds perfect." He led the way to the living room and we joined the crowd.

For whatever reason, I was surprised to see Matty there. I'd forgotten that he and Jett were friends since they played some kind of game or something every week. Kendall was talking to Tristan when Matty walked over to me. I smiled a little before nodding at him. "Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good." He said in his soft voice before pulling me into a small hug. "How are you?"

I glanced at Kendall and saw him eyeing us, then I looked back at Matty. "I'm good. What have you been up to?"

"Nothing much. Just school and working." He shrugged. "The usual. So you and Kendall are still together, huh?"

I nodded and couldn't help but smile a little. "Yes."

Matty smiled. "That's good, James. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks." I felt a little awkward, but it was nice to see him looking healthy and seemingly good. "What about you? You dating anyone?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm just trying to concentrate on finishing up school."

I nodded and was a little relieved when Kendall walked over and gave Matty a side-hug, since he still had the purple dog in his hands. As the two of them started talking, I shoulder-bumped Kendall, then walked over to Logan, who was holding his daughter in his arms. "Hey."

"Hey, Jay." Logan smiled at me.

When Amelia saw me, she stretched her arms out to me, so I took the little cutie out of Logan's arms. I kissed Amelia's cheek and said, "Hi, sweet pea. What do you have in your hands?"

Amelia showed me her stuffed animal-a puppy-right before I started tickling her and making her giggle like crazy. After I stopped my tickle attack, she hugged me for a long time while I chatted with her dad, but when one of her older brothers ran by, she wanted to get down. She ran off with the other kids, though Logan was watching her like a hawk.

Without Amelia there as a distraction, I found myself observing Kendall as he talked to one of his friends on the other side of the room. I was jolted from my Kendall-watching when Logan's laugh caught my attention. "What's so funny?" I asked, looking over at my friend.

He kept chuckling. "You are." He nodded toward Kendall. "You've been staring at him and haven't heard anything I've said."

I cringed a little. "Sorry."

He shook his head with a smile. "It's okay. I've never seen you like this before." I didn't know what that meant, so I didn't respond. "You really like him, huh?"

"Yeah." _Obviously. More than anyone._

"Good." He smacked my shoulder.

I smiled and shrugged a little.

"I'm really glad you found someone, James."

I nodded, then looked back at Kendall. I _had_ found someone. Kendall was my someone, my person. I knew that, I just wished I could fully believe without a doubt that he'd _always_ be that someone. I cleared my throat and changed the subject. "I haven't seen your husband yet. Where is he?"

"Sammy is having some issues at school, so he went upstairs as soon as we got here. Carlos has been talking to him. They've been up there for a long time."

"Is everything alright? Do we need to go to his school or something?"

Logan smiled sadly but shook his head. "No. I think there's a kid bullying him, but we've already talked to the school and everything. We're trying to figure it out."

That really pissed me off, but I was trying to reign in my emotions. "Do you need any help with anything?"

"I think we're okay, but thanks." Logan eyed me for a moment before adding, "Sammy is okay, Jay, I promise."

"Just...let me know if you need help with anything."

"Thanks, man." After a minute, he asked, "So have you heard anything back yet?"

I knew exactly what he was talking about, so I didn't need him to elaborate. "No. The guy said he had a lead he was checking out this weekend. Hopefully, I'll have news by next week, at the latest."

Logan nodded. There wasn't really anything to say. I hadn't told Kendall that I'd been looking for his brother. I didn't want to get his hopes up. Kendall always said he was fine, but I knew that Ethan's disappearance weighed on him. He still called Ethan's phone several times a week and texted him all the time. We hadn't heard from him, but I wanted to find him and convince him to come home.

Kendall walked over to me with a furrowed brow. "You okay, Cupcake?"

I heard Logan snicker-just like he had every single time he'd heard Kendall's nickname for me-but I looked at my boyfriend and said, "I'm fine."

Kendall squinted his eyes at me and squeezed my hand, then looked at Logan. "Hey, what's up?"

As the night went on, I realized that I'd had nothing to be nervous about and I started enjoying myself. Anytime I felt like I was on the outside of a conversation, I would just walk over to Kendall and put my arm around him. I knew that I had Kendall there, no matter what else was going on around us.

* * *

We'd been at the party for hours, and it'd been a lot of fun, but damn, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I don't know what had changed, but I had to fucking tell him. I'd been holding it in for fucking _months_. I. Had. To. Tell. Him. And I had to do it now.

I ignored the surprised look Dak gave me as I stepped between him and James, looking James in the eyes. "I need to talk to you."

James' brow furrowed. "Okay?"

"Right now." I grabbed his hand and started to pull him away, then I realized where we were, so I turned back towards Dak. "Thank you for having us. It was really great, but, uh, we need to go."

"We're leaving?" James asked.

I nodded at him, then Dak said with a smirk, "I'll see you later. You guys have fun." He did a ridiculous wave that made me roll my eyes at him, though I couldn't contain my smile. I didn't really care if he thought I was taking James out of the party just to have sex. That wasn't what I was doing, but I did hope that the night would end that way if all went well.

James let me lead him out of the party, and he didn't say anything until we got in my car. "What's going on, Kendall? Is something wrong?"

I shook me head. "Nothing's wrong, I just need to talk to you."

"About what?"

When I looked at him, I could see the vulnerability in his gaze, and I immediately felt bad for making him think something was wrong. God, I hated when he got all insecure about our relationship. His parents, his whole fucking family-with the exception of Shane-, had really fucked him up. I didn't want him freaking out, so I turned to him and pulled his chin to me. "Nothing is wrong. There's just something I want to talk to you about, and I didn't want to do it in front of a million people."

"There's no one here now. Tell me what's going on."

"I don't… shit, I don't want to do this in Dak's front yard, babe. I promise it's nothing bad." When James looked at me, his eyes told me all I needed to know. He was pretending not to be affected, but his eyes looked so scared and I couldn't fucking have that. So I locked the car doors before saying, "Promise you won't run away."

He blinked at me a couple times, then smiled a little bit. "Did you just lock the doors to try and keep me hostage?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "Yes."

He snorted, but it relaxed him a little and he settled back in his seat, then turned his head to look at me. "I won't run away. Now tell me what's so urgent you made us escape something you've been looking forward to all week."

I blew out a breath, then said, "I love you."

He stared at me with wide eyes. "Wh-what?"

I love you, James." I reached over and grabbed his hand, threading our fingers together. "I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for months, but I've been afraid to tell you."

He just kept staring at me.

"I don't expect you to say it back, Cupcake, but I had to tell you. It was making me insane because I just want to scream it from the rooftops and let the whole world to know how much I love you. I couldn't wait any longer after I saw how adorable you were with the kids in there and the dogs, for that matter, and even our friends. You deserve to know how loved you are because I know you don't think you are. But, James, you are so fucking loved by so many people. But most of all, by me. I love you more than I ever thought possible." I took a deep breath and looked him over.

He was still sitting there with wide eyes and a stunned expression. He was in shock or something. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard and took a shaky breath.

"James?" I grabbed his hand and lifted it to my mouth, but he didn't move. So I kissed his wrist, then his forearm and slowly placed small kisses up his arm. But he still didn't move. I leaned over the console and kissed his neck, making a tremor tack his body in response. So I did it again and again, kissing him as far as I could reach. He didn't move or open his eyes, but he was trembling.

As much as I didn't want to do this in front of Dak's house, I needed to make sure he was okay, that he wasn't about to freak out and bolt on me. I knew he wasn't used to people telling him that they loved him and that it probably brought up bad memories. I knew he was shocked and probably didn't believe me. But I _had_ to make him believe.

So I awkwardly climbed over the console and squeezed myself onto his lap. I saw sitting sideways and bent super weird so I didn't hit my head on the ceiling, my knees were against the window, but I was touching James, so it was fine. He was taking deep breaths, but still kept his eyes closed.

I put my hands on his neck, brushing my thumbs over his jaw. "James? Babe? I know you don't believe me, I know you don't think anyone can love you, but you're wrong. So, so, so fucking wrong. I love you. I'm in love with you and I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you."

I leaned in and cuddled myself up to him. After a few seconds, he wrapped his arms around me, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. We stayed that way for a few minutes before James moved a little and held my chin between his fingers, lifting my face to his. He looked at me with those expressive hazel eyes that sparkled with emotion and he breathed out, "Kendall." then pulled me in to kiss me softly. He tasted like mint from the gum he'd chewed earlier, but I could feel his emotions in the kiss, too.

His hand traveled from my chin to my cheek, then down to my neck where he ran his thumb over my Adam's apple. I gripped his hair and deepened the kiss. After I started to feel like I might explode in my pants, I broke the kiss. "Let me drive us home." I breathed out.

He nodded, then rested his forehead against my temple.

I pecked his lips, and rather than climb back over the console I unlocked the doors and climbed out to walk around to the driver's seat. I drove us to his apartment with my hand on his thigh and his hand covering my own. We'd decided earlier that we'd stay at his place because of Monster.

Once we arrived and made our way to his apartment, we greeted the cat, checking his food and water, then headed into his bedroom. James immediately started pacing the bedroom, so I leaned against the door and waited for him to work out whatever it was he wanted to say.

Finally, he turned to me and asked in a broken voice, "What if you change your mind?"

My heart hurt at the look on his face. I pushed off the door and walked close to cup his cheeks again. "That could never happen."

"But everyone always changes their mind. Pretty much everyone in my family...even my parents stopped loving me."

"James, I'm not your parents. They loved the idea of you, but they never had chance to love the real you because they got in their own way of knowing a wonderful, amazing person. I'm not them. I know you. I see you. I love you for who you are. I don't love you because you're my friend or someone I happen to know. I love you because you're kind and sweet and smart and funny and compassionate." I ran my hand through his hair, then rubbed his cheek before continuing.

"I love you because you treat me like I mean something to you. I love you because of who you are inside. And I can't change my mind because it's not my _mind_ that loves you, it's my _heart_ , okay? My heart loves your heart, and that's all there is to it. There's no changing it, there's no taking it back. I'm in love with you, James. And I'm not going anywhere."

His chest started heaving with deep breaths like he was having trouble getting enough air in his lungs. I gently pushed him until the back of his knees hit the bed, and I made him sit down. "Come on, baby, let's get you in bed." I helped him out of his jeans, then pulled the comforter out and covered him.

When I stepped back, he grabbed my wrist. "Where are you going? Are you leaving?" He looked like he was panicking again.

"I covered his hand with mine. "No, I'm staying the night, remember? I just need to get out of my jeans and turn out the light. I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded and let go of my wrist, but watched me like a hawk while I got ready, not that I minded. After turning out the light, I climbed into bed behind him and wrapped my arms around him. I wasn't usually the big spoon, but I had to admit that I loved holding him, even if he was slightly bigger than me.

"Kendall?"

"Yeah, Cupcake?"

"Thank you for telling me. I'm...I'm not ready to-"

"Shh." I cut him off. "It's okay. I didn't tell you just so you'd tell me back." I squeezed him. "I can wait until you're ready."

"You're probably the least patient person I know."

I smiled at that. "Okay, you've got a point there. But I can be patient for you. You're worth it."

After a few seconds, he said, "That was super sappy and ridiculous. Your sap factor has gone up by a million tonight."

"It was all true, though."

"Don't be gross and turn into one of those super sappy people."

I chuckled. "Okay, I'll try to contain my sappiness."

He laughed a little. "Thanks, I appreciate that."

I smiled against the back of his neck and placed a kiss there. I was so relieved that he was joking around with me. When he'd fallen silent in the car, I'd been afraid that I'd broken him.

"You know it's really early for us to be in bed, right?" He asked a little while later when neither of us had fallen asleep.

"I know." I tightened my hold on him. "I like holding you, though."

"Do you think… have you ever topped?"

My eyebrows shot up at the question. We'd talked about our sexual histories a bit, but hadn't gone into much detail. I hadn't really wanted to hear it, honestly. We'd mostly just said how many people we'd slept with and when the last time we'd been tested was and things like that. "Most of the guys I've been with didn't want me to, but I topped a few guys in high school and college. It's been a while."

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah. I kind of prefer to bottom, but I like topping every once in a while, so yeah."

He took a deep breath. "Would you… want to top me?"

My eyes widened in surprise, but all I said was, "Is that something you want to do?"

"I haven't bottomed in years, but it's something I used to enjoy. I just...I guess I haven't really trusted anyone to do it in a while, so I just thought that maybe…" He trailed off.

My heart swelled at the trust thing, but I just kissed his shoulder and said, "I'd love to fuck you, Cupcake."

He huffed. "I can't believe you're still calling me that."

"You have no one to blame but yourself."

He laughed a little, then rolled onto his back and turned his head to face me. "Will you fuck me, Jalapeno?"

I smirked at that, then leaned in to kiss his lips. "Yes. So much yes."

He moaned into my mouth as he turned his body into me and suddenly our hands were all over each other.

I slid my hand under his shirt and played with his nipple, then ran my hand over his abs, around his side and over his ass, pulling his groin into my own. I slid my finger along the hem of his briefs, then managed to get my hand inside to knead his ass cheeks. I groaned into his mouth at the thought of making his ass mine. I broke our kiss to pull off both our shirts, then went ahead and pulled off my underwear before yanking down his.

He laughed. "Eager, are we?"

"Hell, yes. I've had dreams about taking your ass." I trembled at the thought.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrugged and started kissing down his side as I spoke. "I didn't think you bottomed."

"Next time, use your words."

"You're one to talk." I smacked his ass and pushed him to roll him onto his stomach, then I started kissing down his back.

"Mmm." He hummed and shivered, making me smile against his skin.

I made my way down his back to his ass where I grabbed his taut muscles and spread them so I could bury my face between his cheeks. He moaned and whimpered and panted as I rimmed him with everything that I had. I'd never rimmed him before, though he'd rimmed me, and I was surprised by the noises that were coming out of his mouth. _So many awesome sounds._

When I lubed my fingers and began opening up his hole, while continuing my assault with my mouth, he started thrusting against the sheets and pushing back into me. I brushed his prostate and he screamed and bucked off the bed.

After he seemed prepped enough, I slid on a condom, lubed my cock and held it at his entrance. As I hovered over him, I took in all his back muscles and couldn't help but lick and kiss his skin for a few seconds. "Are you sure you're still good with this?"

"Fuck, yes." He hissed, pressing back against me.

I pushed forward as he bore down and slowly, I made my way into his hot, tight entrance.

"Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker." I ground out.

He huffed out something that might have been a laugh, but turned into a moan when I thrust forward. I slowly made my way all the way to the hilt, then held still and kissed his shoulders, waiting for him to relax. When he pushed back against me, I slowly moved my hips back, then forward, making us both moan.

Very gradually, I sped up. I was afraid to go too fast because he felt so damn good, I didn't want to blow my load before he was ready. So I kept a slow, but forceful pace. I lay over his back and wrapped my arms under him.

James pressed one palm against the headboard, using it to help press back onto on me, and his other hand held onto one of mine. James kept pushing his ass back into me, and I was pretty sure he was getting some friction on his cock from the bed under him.

When I shifted my angle a little, James yelled out, "Oh god, do that again." I thrust into him again. "Yes! Right there." I thrust a few more times, hearing new and delicious sounds come out of him. "Fuck, babe, I'm not gonna last."

"Me either." I said through clenched teeth, I picked up the pace, pounding into him as fast and as hard as I could.

Suddenly, he screamed, and he squeezed and quivered around me so tight that I yelled out at the sudden force of my orgasm that'd snuck up on me. My body lit up in a pleasurable fire, sparks of bliss shooting through every inch of me as I spilled into the condom.

I came down from my incredible high and rested completely on top of James, kissing his shoulder and wrapping my arms under his shoulders to hug him. I whispered against his skin, "I love you, James." He gasped a little, but I kissed his shoulder and he breathed out. "I love you. And I plan on telling you every day, so get used to it."

He huffed out a little laugh. "You're forcing your love on me? Is that the plan?"

"Yep."

After a minute, he turned his head and looked over his shoulder to kiss my lips. "Thank you." I smiled at him. I knew he wasn't ready to say it. I hadn't expected him to and the fact that he was even acknowledging it was a win in and of itself. I'd take whatever I could get.

And deep down, I knew that he felt the same way about me. If he didn't, he would've sent me on my way a long time ago.

I pulled myself and the condom out of him, tied it off and got out of bed to throw it away. Then I pushed James until I forced him out of the bed so we could change the sheets. He reluctantly went into the bathroom to clean himself up while I took care of the messy bed.

By the time he came back, the bedsheets were ready, so we climbed into bed together and he pulled me into his arms, this time holding me so I was the little spoon. I snuggled back into him and used his biceps as a pillow. Monster jumped onto the bed suddenly-he must have snuck in when James opened the door-and the cat cuddled up against my stomach on top of the blanket.

James and I both pet him for a minute before my boyfriend laced his fingers through mine and hugged me to him. We settled in for sleep with the cat lightly snoring away.

Right before we fell asleep, James said, "I got you something."

"Huh?" I was groggy.

"I have something for you. Don't let me forget to give it to you tomorrow before you go to work, okay?"

"Uh, I don't have to work tomorrow." I said with a yawn.

"But it's Sunday, you always work on Sundays."

I yawned again. "I asked Dak for the day off so we could hang out."

He kissed the back of my neck. "Really?"

"Yep. I've been getting burned out, anyway, and I really wanted a whole day with you. This week was busy and I feel like I haven't seen you enough."

He kissed my shoulder. "You didn't tell me you were doing that."

I looked over my shoulder at him. It was dark, but my eyes had adjusted enough to see him since he was right beside me. "I'm sorry. I thought I told you. Do you already have plans?"

He smiled at me. "No, but if you would've told me, I could've planned something for us to do."

I kissed his lips. "That's sweet. But really, spending a day curled up on the couch with you, watching movies and eating snacks sounds like the most perfect day ever."

He grinned and pecked my lips. "Sounds good to me." I snuggled back down and he kissed my neck. "Goodnight, my Little Jalapeno."

I smiled at that. "Goodnight, Cupcake. I love you."

He didn't say anything back, but the small hitch in his breath followed by the lingering, soft kiss on my neck spoke volumes.

* * *

 **Done! So yeah, another huge Kames-fest. But Kendall finally said the L-word!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I'd also love to to hear if you happened to have any guesses for the present James has for Kendall! You'll find out what it is next chapter, which will be up this weekend! By the way, I'm glad you all love Monster! :D**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hello again everyone! New chapter alert!**

 **Before we get started, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to RainbowDiamonds, Guest, winterschild11, Side1ways, annabellex2, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

When I woke up, still wrapped around Kendall, I buried my nose into his neck and sighed, relieved that he was still here with me. Yesterday, when he'd dropped that bomb on me, I'd thought about bolting, just like he knew I would. I didn't think I could handle what he was telling me. Part of me knew I'd been on borrowed time with him, that this thing between us had gone on a lot longer than I'd thought it would. So when he'd said he loved me and promised me forever, a huge part of me wanted to believe him.

 _What if he's telling the truth?_ my brain decided to supply, obviously already liking the idea of that _he's your forever_ scenario.

When all was said and done, I'd give anything for it to be true. For Kendall to truly love me, and for him to love me for the rest of our lives. But what I knew and what I wanted weren't matching up.

"I can practically hear you thinking." Kendall croaked, his sleepy voice was raspy and hoarse.

"Mm." I couldn't muster the words I needed, and I didn't really want to tell him what I'd been thinking, anyway.

"On a scale of one to ten, how badly are you freaking out right now?" He asked.

I half-smiled at how well he knew me. "A hundred."

"Mm… that bad, huh?" He pulled my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles. "Eh, I suppose it could be worse."

I couldn't help but chuckle at that. Even in the midst of freaking out, he knew how to make me laugh and feel a little lighter. I scooted closer to him so my chest was completely flat against his back and I kissed his neck.

"I know you don't believe me, but I'm not going anywhere. I wish I knew how to convince you that I'm telling the truth."

I kissed his neck again, then said exactly what I was thinking. "I wish you knew how to, too."

He turned in my arms and pecked my lips as he looked at me with a small, sleepy smile. "I can wait you out. I'm always up for a good competition."

"What exactly are we competing for?"

He traced his fingers over my cheeks. "Well, I don't really know what you're competing for, but I'm going to prove to you that I love you and that I'm here to stay." He pecked my lips again. "And you know how much I like to win."

I couldn't keep the smile from my face. "I do."

He placed a few more little kisses on my lips before he leaned his face into my neck and kissed my throat. "Was I dreaming that you said you bought me something?" He asked after a couple of minutes.

"That wasn't a dream, Jalapeno. I have a present for you."

He leaned back to look up at me. "Really?"

"Yep. Do you want it now?"

"Depends. Does it require you moving out of the bed?"

I chuckled. "Yes, but I have it in the closet, so I won't go far."

He seemed to muse over it for a moment before he hugged me to him and tucked his head under my chin. "Maybe in a little while. I'm kinda happy right here."

That response made me smile and made my chest fill with warmth. I tightened my arms around him and said softly, "I'm happy right here, too."

He tighened his hold on me for a second, letting me know he heard and appreciated my response, but he didn't say anything for a long time. And I was perfectly okay with that. I was perfectly okay with having him in my arms and doing nothing at all, with holding him and breathing him in, with just enjoying his presence. I was perfectly okay with it because I was with him. Nothing else mattered to me as much as Kendall did. In the grand scheme of things, he was the person that meant the most to me.

After a while, Kendall muttered, "I really have to pee and I've been holding it forever because I don't want to get up, but I'm afraid if I wait any longer, I'll pee the bed."

"Then go to the bathroom." I chuckled.

"That requires moving and I'm good with staying here for the rest of my life. You're seriously comfortable, even with your little hairs tickling my nose every once in a while."

I laughed again. "Just go."

"Would it really be that bad if I peed the bed? I mean, you've had all my other bodily fluids on you...and _in_ you before."

"Gross."

"And isn't pee sterile or something? They used it to clean wounds when they ran out of penicillin...I read that somewhere. So really, it wouldn't be that gross."

"Are you seriously trying to convince me to let you pee on me? Is this a fetish you neglected to tell me about?"

"Dude, no. I just don't want to move. And it's not like I'd pee on you on purpose."

"Is there a scenario where you might pee on me by accident?"

"Well…" He hesitated for a moment before admitting, "I've peed the bed before when I was drunk."

I burst out laughing and had to lean back to look at him. He glared at me, but I just ran my hand through his hair. "I bet you were a disaster if you were that drunk. I'd like to see that."

He stuck his tongue out at me, so I leaned in and sucked it into my mouth. He melted into my kiss for about thirty seconds before abruptly breaking it and quickly jumping out of bed. "Shit, I'm gonna die if I don't piss right now."

I sat up, chuckling at him trying to throw on a pair of my boxer briefs to run to the bathroom in. I figured he didn't want to chance Shane being home, and I didn't mind him grabbing my underwear instead of his own. Not only had they been closer to him, but I didn't think I'd be thrilled if my brother saw Kendall in his lacy underwear. At least if Shane saw Kendall half naked with my underwear on, I'd be safe in the knowledge that he was wearing something of _mine_.

 _Jesus, when did I become so possessive?_

By the time Kendall came back, I had put on a pair of pajama bottoms and found a pair of sweatpants for him, if he decided that he wanted them. Kendall frowned at me when he shut my bedroom door and said, "I was hoping you'd still be in bed."

"All that talk about peeing made me need to go. I'll be right back and you can see what I got for you." I kissed his temple on my way out before going in the bathroom and taking care of business. I brushed my teeth after I washed my hands, figuring that Kendall had already brushed his since he hated morning breath, then I practically ran into my room, excited to see what Kendall thought about his present.

He was sitting in the middle of the bed with Monster on his lap, leaning against the headboard. I walked over and pulled him into a slow kiss, grinning against his mouth when I tasted his toothpaste, then I went to my closet and pulled out the big box I'd hidden there yesterday. I passed it to Kendall. It was just a large rectangular shipping box, I didn't want to wrap it or anything.

Monster crawled off his lap and settled on my pillow as Kendall hesitantly opened it and gasped. "Holy shit. James, I can't believe… where the hell are we gonna put that?"

I grinned at him. "It's portable and can be used indoors and not as huge as some, so we should be able to move stuff around in your living room, or mine, if you wanted to put it together today, and it should fit."

He stared at me for a long moment before slowly saying, "You bought me a hammock."

"I bought you a hammock."

"Because I told you that I used to love sitting in one with my mom?" He started blinking quickly.

My brow furrowed. "Yes.. is that wrong? Do you not like it?"

"No...I… I love it. I just…" He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, then kept his hand there so I couldn't see his green eyes. "No one's ever done anything like this for me and I… I don't even know…" He huffed and dropped his hand, letting me see his glossy eyes that were filled with about a million different emotions. "Thank you, James. I love it… I love _you_." He leaned over and kissed me. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can't even believe you did this. Thank you so much."

I frowned at the thought that this was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. He deserved to have nice things. All the nice things. I'd have to remedy that. I kissed his temple when he looked at the hammock box and ran his finger over the picture. "I'm really glad you like it."

"I love it, babe. Were you serious about setting it up in the living room?" He asked without looking away from it.

"Yep. We can set it up and maybe watch a movie together or something. I'm sorry we can't set it up outside and look at the clouds like you used to, but hopefully, you'll still like it."

He looked at me with a bit of a watery smile. "Are you kidding me? I'm going to love it. Especially if you're laying in it with me."

I kissed his lips.

"Will it really fit us both?"

"It's supposed to hold two people, so it should." I scooted close to him and put my chin on his shoulder with my arms around his back. "Maybe one day one of us will have a yard and we can put it out there. But I think the living room will do for now. Wanna help put it together?"

"Yes!" He turned his head, so I leaned in to kiss his lips again. "Thank you so much, Cupcake."

"Anytime, Little Jalapeno." I'd do anything to make him smile like that again. He was so beautiful when he was happy.

Thirty minutes later, we had the hammock set up in my living room with all my furniture pushed up against the wall. I'd even moved my loveseat into the connected dining room. If Shane came home, he was going to think I'd lost my mind. He'd made so many comments to me about how OCD I was about my apartment, and he wasn't wrong. But seeing how happy Kendall was made the whole thing worth it. He was practically glowing.

He looked at me with the widest smile and asked, "You ready to watch a movie?"

"Um, I thought you wanted to eat breakfast first?"

"No, we finally finished getting this things together, now we have to test it out!"

I blinked at him. "Are you feeling okay?"

He looked at me in confusion. "Yeah, why?"

I bit back a grin. "Because you, Kendall the eater of all things, want to skip breakfast."

He rolled his eyes at me but couldn't hide his smirk. "I don't want to _skip_ breakfast, I want to do something else _before_ breakfast."

"Do you realize that it's already noon?"

"I do _now_." He rolled his eyes again. "Okay, let's watch a short show together in the hammock, then get breakfast, then lay back down in the hammock for a movie." He stuck his bottom lip out at me. "I just really want to test it out. Can we? Please? Pretty, pretty please?"

I huffed, but smiled. "Fine."

He grinned and kissed my lips, then pushed my shoulder. "You go first."

"But it's your hammock. You should try it first."

"I want you to get in so you can spoon me. I think it'll be easier if you go first."

I huffed again, but listened to him and sat on the edge of the hammock before lying down and trying to scoot to leave him some room. Needles to say, it didn't go well.

"See?" He said. "If I had gone first, you would've squished me."

I chuckled. "You're more dramatic than usual today, babe. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"I didn't want to give you a complex."

"And you do now?"

"Shush, you." He smirked at me, then climbed into the hammock, managing to land a little on top of me. After he scooted around for a minute, he finally ended up with his back to me, using my arm as a pillow, in our typical spooning fashion. Only, I was sorta on my back, and I didn't have a pillow.

"We forgot a pillow. I won't be able to see anything."

Kendall rolled onto his back as much as he could. "Okay, let's play find the animal with the ceiling."

I looked up and saw the little cracks that were forming and frowned. "How did I never notice that before?"

"How often do you find yourself flat on your back?"

I glanced at him. "Usually when I'm flat on my back, I'm concentrating on something else. Or should I say, _someone_."

He laughed and pushed me. "You're such a dork."

"You must like dorks because you hang out with me all the time."

He shrugged. "Eh, it makes me feel like less of a dork when I'm with you."

I laughed and nudged him. "You're such a little shit."

He grinned at me. "I know, but you like it."

I scooted my face close to him so my nose brushed his. "I like _you_."

He leaned closer to kiss my lips, and I put my free hand on his chest, then ran it up his neck to his cheek. We kissed for a few minutes and when we broke apart, he said, "I think this is my new favorite place ever."

"Laying in the hammock?"

He kissed my lips. "Laying in the hammock with _you_."

"You're doing that sappy thing again." I said, though I couldn't hold in my smile at his sweet statement.

"I can't help it." He groaned, then turned his attention to the ceiling and pointed to a spot. "That's totally an elephant."

I squinted and tilted my head but couldn't for the life of me see an elephant. "I think it looks more like a monkey with a long tail."

"No, that's the elephant's trunk, and that other little crack is his ear, see?"

I squinted again. "Kind of." I leaned back and looked around before pointing at another spot. "Look, that's a flower."

"Where?"

I scooted my head close to his and pointed at it. "Right there. It even has a stem and a leaf."

"That looks like a kangaroo."

"What? No way do you think that looks like a kangaroo. How? Where? Are you looking at the same place as me?"

He chuckled. "I see a kangaroo."

We pointed out a few more shapes and animals before Kendall's stomach started growling. Loudly. I was sorta relieved when it did because I was starving. So we got up and made our way to the kitchen where we made some eggs and toast since they were quick. Then we threw some stuff into a crockpot and grabbed about a million snacks to put on the coffee table.

We threw some pillows and blankets onto the hammock, then pushed the coffee table close to it so we'd be able to reach all the snacks and drinks without getting out of it. Once everything was set, we climbed back in and got comfortable in a spooning position, this time with pillows, and we started a TV show we'd been watching for the past couple weeks together.

Kendall and I spent almost all day in that hammock. And it was perfect.

When Kendall left the next morning, I made him take the packed-up hammock with him so he could set it up at home. He'd wanted to leave it with me, but after I promised him that I'd come over one night this week to examine the cracks on his apartment's ceiling, he finally conceded.

Kendall had told me at least a hundred times that he loved me. And even though I was reluctant to get my hopes up and believe him, every time he said it, warmth overtook my whole body and I felt those damn butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know if I fully believed him, but I sure as hell liked hearing the words.

And a part of me was hoping that he was right, that he'd somehow find a way to convince me that it was true. Because fuck, did I want it to be.

* * *

I couldn't believe that I was actually buying tickets to a baseball game. But I was. And I was even smiling while I was doing it. I still didn't like baseball very much, but James loved it, and that was what mattered. Besides, going to the games was actually pretty damn fun. I just didn't like watching it on TV because that shit was boring. At least to me. James sure as hell loved watching it, on TV or live. Blech.

So I decided to do something nice for him after he'd done that incredibly nice and sweet thing for me with the hammock. The hammock that was now a permanent fixture in my living room. The hammock that I fucking loved.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

I startled and turned at the sound of Dak's voice. "You scared the shit out of me."

He smirked and pointed at the computer. "Sorry. What are you doing besides not working? Is that baseball?"

I rolled my eyes at him since he didn't actually care if we did other things as long as there weren't any customers around and our work was caught up. He just liked to mess with me. "Yeah, I'm buying tickets to the opening game for James."

"That's cool. My parents used to take me when I was little. It was pretty fun."

"Yeah, I'd never been to one until James took me last year. It was a lot of fun."

Dak examined me for a minute. "You really like him, huh?"

I took a deep breath and decided to tell him the truth. I just hoped he was actually as cool with the whole thing as he said he was. "I love him." I huffed out.

Dak's eyebrows shot up, but then he smiled, and surprisingly, it was a smile that was soft and reached his eyes. "He's lucky to have you, Ken. I think he really needs you."

I blew out a breath and nodded. "Thanks. I'm just trying to convince him that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not sure if it's working very well."

Dak patted my shoulder. "It's hard for him. I think he just needs a little time. I'm sure he'll figure it out eventually, as long as you're patient."

I nodded, then went back to the computer to place my order. A minute later, my phone rang and I was surprised to see Shane's name pop up. "Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Kendall. Um, can I talk to you for a minute?" Shane asked.

I walked into the break room. "Of course. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could help me with this project I have in my earth science class?"

"Okay. What's the project?"

"I have to find and compare a bunch of different things, like flowers and trees and other crap, and I was thinking that it would be good to photograph them and make big printouts. So I was wondering if I could maybe borrow your camera and maybe you could print them out at work for me?"

I smiled at how unsure he sounded. "I can definitely help with that. So do you want to stop by to pick up one of my cameras or do you want me to just bring one home with me tonight?" I cringed and amended, "I mean, to your home...apartment." Ugh.

"Actually, it would be really cool if I could stop by. Dak offered to show me around a long time ago, and I never took him up on it. Would it be okay to look around today?"

"Sure. It's not very busy today, so you picked a perfect time. I can show you the cameras and stuff, and the backroom where we do prints and everything. Once you have the pictures done, you can come back in, and we can make whatever size printouts you want. I can show you how we do it, if you want."

I heard him sigh in relief. "You're a lifesaver, Kendall. Thank you so much."

"No problem."

He asked me a couple more questions before we hung up. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that he'd called to ask me for help. It made me happy that James' little brother trusted me.

* * *

 **Done! So, this was pretty much just another huge Kames-fest. But we got the reveal that James bought Kendall a hammock and we also got to see a little bit of Kendall and Shane interacting!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Next chapter probably won't be up until next weekend, maybe a little earlier depending on how things go this week.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello everyone! Back again with another chapter. :)**

 **Before we get started, I would to thank everyone that read last chapter. I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, annabellex2, Side1ways, winterschild11, and RainbowDiamonds for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

I couldn't stop smiling since we'd arrived at the stadium. I also couldn't stop myself from holding Kendall's hand as we waited for the game to start. I knew we were in a very public place with a bunch of people around us, but I was hoping no one was going to be a homophobic prick.

So far, we'd been lucky. And seeing how much Kendall appreciated the gesture, I figured I could handle any insults thrown our way. No one in our immediate vicinity seemed to even notice, though.

"I got you three hotdogs." Kendall said as he handed me things out of his bag. He'd brought a shopping bag with him this time and loaded up on food outside the stadium on our way in. He made me carry a cooler that was filled with water bottles since the water here was crazy-expensive.

"I don't need three hotdogs." I said as he handed them over.

"Uh huh." He waved me off and reached into the bag, pulling out a paper bag filled with jalapeno poppers. I laughed as he asked, "You want one?"

"No. I'm sure you'll eat enough for the both of us, Little Jalapeno." I grinned and shoulder-bumped him.

He smiled back at me and popped one into his mouth with a wink. I snorted at that, then waved down one of the beer guys and bought us each one. By the time I finished buying the beer, sat down and looked at Kendall, his eyes were watering.

I bit my lip to keep from cracking up but a small laugh burst free anyway. "Oh my god, you didn't!"

He tried to glare at me, but it wasn't very effective since he was making a ridiculous face.

"I can't believe you ate too many again." I laughed as I grabbed my water bottle and opened it, holding it out to him. He took it immediately and gulped down half the bottle. "I should've brought a cup of milk for you. I think that's supposed to help with spicy stuff. I'll have to pack some next time."

"Ohmygod. Why did I do that again?" He gasped.

I laughed and leaned in to kiss his cheek, completely forgetting where we were. "I guess you wouldn't be my Little Jalapeno if you didn't."

He eyed me but ended up smiling and sipping the water again. "Do you want to try one?"

"You really think I want one after that?"

"Oh, come on. I ate like ten in a row. You'll be fine with one."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't know. They seem gross."

"Come on and live a little." He held one out to me, wiggling it in my face.

"Ugh. Fine." I opened my mouth and he put it in. I hesitantly chewed it and when the flavor hit my tongue, I was surprised by how good it tasted. It was spicy, for sure, but it was also sort of delicious. Once I'd chewed and swallowed the whole thing, I looked over at Kendall. "Okay, you have me. They're delicious."

Kendall held his arms above his head as if he'd won some kind of award, and shouted, "Yessss! I _knew_ you would like them! Point, me!"

I laughed at him and grabbed his arm, yanking it down. "You are so ridiculous."

He dropped his arms with a grin and a shrug. "You love it."

I shrugged. "Maybe I do."

His eyebrows lifted and he tilted his head, examining me. "You love me, don't you?"

I sucked in a breath and screwed my eyes shut. The warmth in my chest that I always felt around him overflowed all throughout my body, and I sucked in another deep breath at the feeling. I knew what the feelings was, I'd known for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud.

I knew how I felt about him, and even though I wasn't completely sure he truly felt the same way, a part of me wanted to tell him how I felt. But I didn't know how. Every time I tried to get the words to come out, I panicked.

When Kendall's soft hand touched my cheek, my eyes flew open. He smiled at me and said, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to force you to say or do anything you don't want to. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry, baby."

I sucked air through my nose and blew it out of my mouth as I leaned into his hand. I gave him a nod, then turned to kiss his palm before grabbing his hand and threading out fingers together. Instead of addressing what he'd said, I reached into my back pocket with my free hand and held out a key for him. "This is for you. I meant to give it to you in the car earlier."

Kendall stared at it with a furrowed brow. "What…? Is that a key to your apartment?"

I nodded.

Kendall's eyes went wide before a huge smile broke out on his face and he squealed. "Oh my god!" He snatched the key, threw his arms around my neck in a quick hug, then pulled back to look at it. "I can't believe you!" He looked a little closer and started laughing. "Did you seriously get me a key with a jalapeno on it?"

"Yep." I grinned at him.

He elbowed me. "So ridiculous."

"When I saw the designed keys, I was just going to grab one with any kind of food on it, but then I saw that one," I shrugged. "So I got it."

He chuckled. "I love it. Thank you so much. I'll get you a key to my apartment tomorrow."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. Maybe they'll have one with a cupcake."

"You don't need to get me one."

He looked at me and frowned. "I want to. The only reason I haven't given one yet is because I thought it'd freak you out." He shoulder bumped me. "Plus, now I won't have to get out of the hammock to answer the door. You _know_ how long it takes for me to climb out of that thing when I'm covered in blankets and stuff."

I chuckled. "True. You've been taking a long time to answer the door. I didn't realize that was why."

He snorted, but the announcers started announcing the players, so we focused on the game for a while. Or I focused on it while Kendall tried to hook his new key to his key chain.

We had a wonderful time at the baseball game, and when we got home that evening, Kendall insisted on using his new key to let us in. His grin was huge when he opened the door.

XxX

The next day, I was sitting on the couch waiting for dinner to finish in the oven when Shane walked in and plopped down next to me. He looked me over for a minute before asking, "So, when's Kendall moving in?"

"Huh?"

"I saw a key on the counter the other day, so I figured it was for Kendall. When's he moving in?"

"That was just a key so he can let himself in. He's not moving in."

Shane frowned at me. "Oh, I figured he was." He shrugged. "It would be fun to have him here all the time." He gave me a hug before getting up, grabbing a drink, and heading to his room, leaving me to contemplate what he'd said.

It _would_ be fun to have Kendall here all the time.

I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest. Spending more time with Kendall would be pretty damn amazing.

Before I could think about it too much, Kendall let himself into the apartment. I stood up to meet him by the door and when he walked in, all I could do was stare. I looked him up and down with raised eyebrows, trying to take in all the… shininess. Kendall toed off his shoes, then walked toward me, leaving a trail behind him.

I backed up out of his path and asked "What the hell happened to you, and why the hell are you covered in glitter?"

Kendall looked at me in exasperation. "You do know who I work with, right?"

"Good point." I snorted. "Did Dak suddenly decide to start glittering his employees?"

"Yes, actually." Kendall deadpanned. "He found leftover glitter from when he helped the kids on their project, and...let's just say things got out of hand from there."

I chuckled and he smiled at me as I said, "Dork." I was going to push his shoulder but thought better of it and used my toe to poke his calf.

"I will forever be covered in glitter."

"That's the risk you take working for him. He probably made you sign a waver." I said jokingly.

He laughed. "Oh, he totally did." He said in a mock-voice. "I hereby acknowledge that glitter will regularly appear absolutely everywhere on absolutely everything, including on my person. Initial here."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I can see him adding that to your contract."

He snorted and held his arms out. "Do you see how much glitter there is?"

"Kinda hard to miss when you're reflecting off of everything."

He pushed my shoulder, leaving glitter on my t-shirt.

I shook my head with a smile and pointed behind him. "You left a path."

He looked over his shoulder and laughed out, "Oh shit. Sorry. I'll clean it up."

"How about you clean yourself up so I can kiss you. I'll get the floor."

"You know it's not coming off of me, right? Promise you'll kiss me even if I'm glittered for the rest of my life?" He fluttered his eyelashes at me and puckered his lips.

I laughed and ran my thumb over his cheek. "Just get the bulk of it off." He frowned and opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "Please? It's getting everywhere."

"Okay, fine, but only because you said please. And I don't want your place looking like the studio looked before I left."

I leaned in for a kiss, no longer caring if I got glitter all over myself. Standing beside him this long without touching or kissing him was too much. I just _needed_ to touch him. When I leaned toward him, he backed up. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to kiss you. Obviously."

"But I'll get glitter on you."

"Don't care."

Kendall looked me up and down, then asked, "How long before dinner's finished?"

I looked at the clock. "About twenty minutes."

He smiled, then grabbed my face with both his hands and pulled me into a steamy kiss. When he finally leaned away, he grabbed my hand and hauled me down the hall. "Now that you're glittered too, you _have_ to take a shower with me." He said, looking over his shoulder with a grin and my heart did a little flutter in my chest.

"You know I'll do anything to see you naked." I said, making him snort and push me through the bathroom door. His hands were ripping off my clothes before the door even snapped shut.

* * *

When I got the notice in my mailbox that my lease was almost up, I knew I had to decide what to do. Renew my lease or move somewhere else. While I liked my apartment, I really hadn't been spending much time there, so it almost felt like a waste of money, honestly. I only slept there maybe once or twice a week because I just stayed at James' bigger, nicer place.

And okay, maybe I was making excuses because what I really wanted-really, really fucking wanted-was to move in with James. But I couldn't exactly just invite myself to move in with him. No matter how badly I wanted to. _Just fucking talk to him like the grown-ass men you are._ I rolled my eyes at myself. I really needed to grow a pair and talk to him.

I sighed out loud as I set about packing up some of the equipment for the night and began my internal checklist so I didn't forget anything.

After finishing up and saying goodbye to everyone, I automatically headed for James' apartment. When I let myself in with my awesome jalapeno key, I found James cooking dinner in the kitchen, standing at the stove. So I walked over to him and grabbed the back collar of his shirt to pull down and kiss between his shoulder blades. "Hey, babe."

He looked over his shoulder and smiled. "Hey, Jalapeno. I didn't even hear you come in. How was work?"

"Fine, how was your work?"

"Good. I got the new client to sign with us, so it was a good day."

I kissed his shoulder, then leaned against the counter beside him. "That's great, babe."

"By the way, Shane told me to tell you that he got an A on that project you helped him with."

"Oh, good. He did a good job."

James glanced at me a little worriedly. "You okay?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Yeah, I just...I got my renewal notice for my apartment, but…" I sighed again. "I'm not sure if I want to renew it or not." I bit the inside of my cheek and looked at the chicken he was cooking instead of his face.

"When's your lease up?"

"Two months. I have to decide in two weeks and turn the paper back in."

"My lease is up in about three months, I think."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was actually thinking about looking for a bigger place." He said as he added some spices to the pan.

"Why do you want a bigger place?" My heart started beating erratically in my chest, and I tried to tell it to calm the fuck down, it might just be a coincidence, but the damn thing wouldn't listen.

James glanced at me, then looked down at the food. "I was thinking… well, we don't have much privacy with Shane being around all the time, so I was thinking that having a bigger place would help with that. And, um…" He sighed and closed his eyes before turning those hazel eyes on me. "I was thinking that maybe you might want to move in, too."

A million emotions swirled through me, but most of all, I felt my love for him swirling around and wrapping me up. "Are you serious?"

He glanced at me again, suddenly looking nervous. "I mean, only if you want to. No pressure."

"Oh my god! Are you serious?!" I yelled. "Of course, I want to, Jay! That's why I've been stressed out. I wanted to ask you but I didn't know how. And then I got the notice, and I was sorta freaking out because I just want to be with you all the time, but I didn't know if you wanted the same thing. And I knew I needed to ask you. But I didn't want to scare you away and I was-"

James cut me off with a laughing kiss on my lips. He ignored the stove and grabbed my hips as he kissed me hard on the lips and muttered, "We're moving in together?"

"Yes...so much yes." I muttered back before kissing him and wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him in close. He stepped even closer, gripping my hips tight.

He suddenly lifted me onto the counter so he could step between my legs, so I wrapped my legs around him and let him devour my mouth. I moaned into his mouth, tasting all the emotions I knew he was afraid to say out loud.

But I could feel them, I could taste them, I could see them in his eyes. No matter how badly I wanted to hear him say the words, I knew I could wait because he treated me like I hung the fucking moon, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world.

I slid my hands down his back and pulled his ass closer so I could feel his hardness brush against mine. We both moaned and I thought I would die if I didn't make him moan again-STAT.

"I want you." I said against his lips. "I want you right now."

He groaned and started kissing his way down my neck. He rutted against me and I moaned and dug my fingers into his hair.

"Damn it, Shane's home." He muttered against my lips. I kept kissing him, still not wanting to separate. He reached over and turned all the burners off before whispering, "Hold on to me."

"Huh?" I hummed, but still listened and grabbed onto his shoulders, wrapping my legs around his waist.

He scooped me off the counter and carried me, much to my chargin-I muttered about how I wasn't small and how he shouldn't be carrying me-and he walked into his bedroom, kicking the door closed along the way. He laid me on the bed and covered me with his body, kissing me thoroughly while I writhed and rutted beneath him.

When I grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up his back, he broke away long enough to yank it off and throw it to the side before stripping my shirt off, too. I ran my hands up his chest to his neck, pulling him back down to kiss me. I slid my hands all over his skin before grabbing his ass and dragging him to me, pressing our erections together.

I slid my hands under his pants and kneaded his ass, making both of us groan again. I seriously wanted his ass. Or I wanted him to take mine, I didn't care, I just fucking wanted him, and I wanted him right the fuck now.

"Impatient, are we?" James chuckled, then stood up and stripped his pants and underwear off before peeling mine off as well.

"Hell yes, I'm impatient. I need you to fuck me right now."

He laughed, then grabbed the lube, throwing it on the bed beside me. He grabbed a condom, about to throw it on the bed, but I grabbed his wrist, stopping him, and he looked at me with a question in his eyes.

"Can we go without the condom?"

His eyebrows shot up on his forehead. "You don't want to use a condom?"

I shook my head and bit my cheek for a second. "No, I don't. Unless you want to. But… we've both been tested and we're both healthy, so I don't really see why we would need one. I haven't been with anyone but you in the last year. And I sure as hell am not going to be with anyone else now. I mean, right? No one else?"

"No one but you, babe." That wasn't exactly clear. I'd known he hadn't been with anyone since we started dating, but… he looked sorta nervous all of a sudden. _Maybe he's been with someone. Oh god. I think I killed the mood...fucking great._

I bit my cheek again, then took a deep breath. "Have you? Been with anyone else since you were last tested, I mean?"

He brushed his fingers over my cheek. "No, Jalapeno, it's only been you since before we even started dating."

I blew out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and nodded. "Okay, then. Good. That's… that's good. So do you want to go bareback, then?"

He smiled and threw the condom into the drawer. "Hell yeah. I have to admit, I'm a little nervous, though. I've never done this before."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've always used a condom. Haven't you?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Uh, there was one time in college when I didn't because I'm a fucking idiot, and my boyfriend at the time convinced me to try it. Stupid, but obviously I'm lucky I didn't catch anything from that asshat."

He frowned at me. "That's… not okay."

I sighed. "I know. Anyway, can we, like, get back to it and stop all the serious talk? My dick is dying over here."

He smirked, then lay over me again and kissed the hell out of me before moving down my body, using his mouth and hands as he went. I kept rutting up, seeking any kind of friction as he tortured me before he finally licked my balls, one at a time, then suddenly swallowed my cock all the way in one go. I screamed out and buried my fingers in his hair, trying to resist thrusting into his mouth. But then he pushed his hands under my ass and gave me the silent signal to thrust into him.

"Ohhhh fuuuuck." I panted as I thrust a few times. He slid a lubed-up finger into me, and I pushed back onto him aggressively before he added another finger. After a few thrusts with him sucking, using his tongue like a goddamn pro, and hitting my prostate with his damn magic fingers, I couldn't take it anymore. "Please, James...I need your cock in me, like, yesterday."

He pulled off and chuckled. "I love when you beg."

I pushed his shoulder. "Shut up and fuck me."

He laughed and grabbed the lube, covering his cock before putting it at my entrance. When he pressed in, I gasped and moaned and couldn't stop myself from pressing down, trying to take more of him inside of me. I wanted him. I wanted to feel every single fucking piece of him.

He held my hips still and panted out, "You're fucking beautiful like this."

I was out of my mind, but still there enough to say, "Fuck off."

He laughed a little and started to slide in a little farther. "You feel so good, Ken. I've never… oh god." He groaned loudly as he pushed in. Feeling him inside me, only him, without a condom was unbelievable. He held still for a moment, letting us both adjust to the new sensation. "I mean it, babe… you're gorgeous." He sounded breathless.

Whenever he said something like that to me, it threw me off. I wasn't used to people being nice to me in that way. I appreciated it, but I never knew what to say or how to react. But James seemed to understand how I was feeling, because he leaned down and kissed me gently as he slid the rest of the way in and held still to let me adjust.

It felt incredible without a barrier between us. I felt so connected to him. I was full and it felt fucking amazing. Adding that to the sensation of him being so sweet and gentle, I already felt like I was ready to explode.

"I need you to move before I die." I ground out.

He smiled against my lips, then oh so fucking slowly pulled out and thrust back in just as leisurely. We both groaned at the feeling and he kept up his slow, sensual pace. I couldn't decide if I wanted him to speed up so I could come or to keep doing what he was doing because what he was doing to me felt amazing, even if it was slowly shattering me.

I gripped his back tightly and thrust my hips against him. James wrapped his arms under my back and held onto my shoulders tight. It felt like he was trying to get as close to me as he possibly could, maybe because I was doing the same thing to him. We were pressed together, my cock stuck between us, he was inside of me, and yet, he wasn't close enough. I felt like he'd never be close enough.

I could feel his emotions pouring off him, just like I knew mine were. I wanted to show him how much I cared, how much I loved him. I wanted him to feel my love for him, I wanted him to have no doubt that it was there and always would be.

Because I fucking loved him more than anything in the world, anything in the universe. And he deserved to feel that love. I wanted him to feel it.

I mumbled against his lips, "I love you, James."

He whimpered at that and claimed my mouth again. I knew he was scared to say it out loud, but I also knew that he loved me. I could feel it in my soul. He was it for me, and I was it for him. I'd wait forever for him if I had to.

Not that I did, because I already had him. I could feel it with each thrust, with each kiss, with each caress. I could _feel_ just how much he loved me.

When he picked up the pace just a little, I knew I wasn't going to last. I pulled his hair and scratched his back in my effort to get him closer to me.

"Oh god, James, I'm gonna come. Please…"

He buried his hand in my hair and breathed into my mouth, "I got you."

And that was all it took. I burst into a million pieces and came back together in a fiery pleasure that had me spurting between us over and over as James claimed my mouth and breathed in my moans and screams of pleasure.

James' body tensed over me, and I felt him shoot into my ass and I moaned again. He was filling me up, and I felt like he was claiming me. He'd said that he'd never done that with anyone before, so I was the only person to have this pleasure. It connected us on a deeper level somehow, or maybe it was the fact that we'd made love instead of only fucked. Because that's what this was, making love.

My body was still spasming every once in a while, but I just kept clinging to him and holding him tight. He broke our kiss to bury his face in my neck and I tightened my hold on him. I never wanted to let him go.

"Kendall." He whispered, making my name sound like a plea or a prayer.

I brushed my fingers through his hair. "I'm here."

"I know." After a few minutes of just holding one another as his cock softened inside of me, he said, "That was…"

"Yeah." I kissed his hair. "Yeah, it was."

He tightened his hold on me and kissed my neck. We lay like that for a long time, although it wasn't long enough because I never wanted to let him go.

I was never going to let him go because we were meant to be together. There was no doubt in my mind. He fit with me better than anyone, better than I ever thought possible. We fit together, and that was something I was never going to take for granted.

I kissed the side of his head again.

* * *

 **Done! So, let's be honest, this was just another shameless Kames-fest. :P But it looks like Kames are moving in together!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I'm so glad that you all loved the hammock surprise last chapter! I struggled with that a little bit and actually debated taking it out of the story at one point, but I'm glad I didn't and that you all enjoyed it. :)**

 **Unfortunately, we're reaching the finish line of this story. There are only about two or three chapters left, so we'll be wrapping things up over the course of these last few chapters.**

 **With that being said, the next chapter more than likely won't be up until next weekend, but there's a slight chance that it'll be up a little earlier.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello again everyone! Sick of me yet? :P**

 **Before we get started on the new chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read last chapter! I would also like to give a huge thank you to Guest, winterschild11, Side1ways, RainbowDiamonds, and XxxAnimaniacxxX for reviewing!**

 **I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

After I pulled out of Kendall and cleaned him off with my shirt, I lay beside him and pulled him closer so our legs tangled together. I rested my head on the pillow and managed to turn him on his side so we were facing each other. He automatically moved closer to me, but I put my hand on his face and gently pushed his cheek so he'd look at me. He smiled softly at me and kissed my palm, then began running his fingertips along my arm.

That small smile did me in. My heart felt so full every time he was around me. Everything he did and said made me feel his love for me. For the first time in my life, I felt loved for who I was, and it was all because of the amazing man beside me. He was perfect for me in every way, and I needed him to know it.

I brushed my finger over his cheek and whispered, "I love you."

His eyes widened and he stared at me in shock.

I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner… but I'm saying it now. I love you. So fucking much, Kendall. So much it hurts. So much, I've been terrified to tell you because I was afraid I would ruin everything… and that one day you would stop loving me back." I swallowed down my emotions.

"I hope you can still be patient with me because I'm still not sure about...everything. But I'm trying. I swear I'm trying to believe you, I _want_ to believe you when you tell me you love me. I want to believe you so fucking badly."

"I do." He croaked out, his eyes looked watery. "I do love you, James. More than I ever thought was possible. I love you. And I will never stop loving you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

I sucked in a shaky breath and rubbed my thumb over his cheek and bottom lip. "I love you too, Kendall. I love you."

He suddenly burst out with a watery laugh, and the next time I blinked, he was crying.

"Oh god, don't cry!" I pulled him into my chest.

He laughed and cried together as he said, "They're happy tears, Cupcake. Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything's right."

I nodded and pulled him closer to me as he nuzzled my chest and wrapped his arms around me. Part of me wanted to tell him again, but I didn't know if I had it in me at the moment. I'd already said it more times than I'd planned. Everything was just so...overwhelming. Everything was changing. Everything was already so fucking different.

Kendall suddenly leaned back to look me in the eyes. "It's okay, everything's gonna be alright. I promise."

"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" I asked as I pulled him to me.

Without missing a beat, he responded, "You came with a James Manual. I read the whole thing twice and have it memorized."

"Is that right?" I couldn't help but smile.

"Yep. As soon as I signed the Best Friends Handbook, I received a copy. And when I signed the Boyfriend Handbook, I reread it."

I snorted at that and squeezed him.

He kissed my chest and squeezed me back, then said softly, "I love you. I'll love you forever. I'll never stop loving you."

I took a deep breath before responding. "I love you too."

Somehow, having him joke around and just be so _Kendall_ about everything made it easier for me to say it that time. He always made me laugh and feel free, always made me happy. And it made me elated to finally be able to tell him that I loved him, because I really fucking did. So damn much, sometimes I thought my heart would burst from it.

"Can we stay here forever?" He asked a little while later.

"We should probably eat dinner at some point."

He groaned. "I'd rather just stay here with you. I never want to let you go."

"Me either." I whispered and kissed his hair.

He looked up at me and kissed my lips. "I'm never leaving you. We may have to be apart for work and other shit, but seriously, James, I'm never leaving. You're it for me."

I kissed his lips and held him tight.

XxX

My phone rang and I was surprised to see Logan's name pop up since I'd just seen him at work earlier today, so I answered it immediately. "Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just saw something I thought you might want to hear about." He said.

"Okay, what's up?" I asked as I walked into my kitchen to get a drink.

"Well, I know that you and Kendall have been looking for a bigger place, and I know you want to rent, but have you thought about buying something?"

"No, not really. We've never lived together, so we figured renting would be the way to go." I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. We'd been searching for weeks with no luck whatsoever.

"Okay, well, I really think you should take a look at this house I drove by. It's for sale, not rent, but it has three bedrooms and the basement is a finished apartment, so it'd be perfect for Shane."

"Hmm...that sounds really good, actually. It's in your neighborhood?"

"Yeah, only a couple of streets over. I could probably walk there in less than five minutes."

"Is it nice?"

"I haven't gone inside, but it looks nice from the outside, and the pictures online look good. I can send you the listing."

"Okay. I don't know if Kendall would even want to look at it, but if it has that apartment in the basement, that might be a good selling point."

Logan chuckled. "Yeah, you already told me you wanted more privacy, so I thought of you when I saw it."

"Thanks, Loges."

"No problem. See you tomorrow."

"See ya." I hung up the phone and only had to wait thirty seconds for the text with the listing to come through. I opened the link and was surprised to see how nice the place was. It was a little pricey, but if Kendall and I went in on it together, it might be doable. I closed out the listing and called Kendall. He picked up on the second ring and instead of saying hello, I said, "Do you want to buy a house?"

"Um… hello to you too. And I have no idea, why do you ask?"

"Logan just sent me a listing for a single-family house in his neighborhood that has three bedrooms, two bathrooms on the upper levels, and an entire apartment in the basement."

"Really? That would be perfect for Shane." He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Let me send you the link. Maybe we could go look at it?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Um, let me call you back in a little while, my client just walked in the door."

"Okay, love you." Saying it to him was becoming so natural, I usually didn't panic at all.

"I love you too, Cupcake."

He hung up and I smiled. I'd never get enough of hearing him say he loved me or even calling me Cupcake.

XxX

"Wow, this place is gorgeous." Kendall whispered to me as he gripped my hand and we followed the real estate agent through the house. When she led us into the large kitchen with brand new stainless-steel appliances and a shit-ton of cabinets, Kendall said, "Holy shit."

I chuckled and the realtor bit back a smile.

Kendall looked at me. "Oh my god, we could cook so many things in here. Just look at it! There's enough room for both of us."

I kissed his cheek. "It's awesome."

We followed the realtor upstairs, and she showed us the three bedrooms and the bathroom up there. Everything looked new and elegant, and sort of perfect. We headed back downstairs to the open living and dining rooms again, and I looked at the realtor. "Can we have a look at the basement apartment, please?"

"Of course."

We followed her downstairs. There was an entrance to the apartment from inside the house and a separate one outside, so Shane could have as much privacy as he'd want. After she showed us the awesome apartment, she told us we could have a few minutes alone together to talk about it and look around if we wanted, so we made our way upstairs to look at the bedrooms again.

"If we buy this, I still want Shane to eat dinner with us. He's your family, he should be with us." Kendall said.

I smiled at that and kissed his cheek again. "Okay. You'll have to be the one who tells him, though. He probably won't believe me if I tell him that we want to do that."

He pursed his lips, then nodded. "You're probably right."

"There's three bedrooms, you know."

"Yeah, I know." He gave me a weird look, or more like a look that told me he thought I was being a weirdo.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe we could set one up as a guest bedroom, you know? And _when_ Ethan comes back, he'd have a place to stay."

Kendall's eye went slightly teary at the mention of his still-missing brother. "He's not coming back, James. He hates me. He hasn't responded in months."

"He doesn't hate you. And you can tell that he's been reading your texts, right? He cares, Ken. Otherwise, he would've blocked your number or gotten a new phone. And he _is_ coming back. I know he is."

"You can't know that."

"Okay, fine, I hope he's coming back. Is that better?" He nodded, so I continued. "Okay, well, if he comes back, we'll have an extra room for him. We probably wouldn't have that if we rent another apartment. And we haven't had any luck with finding a good house to rent."

"I know. And...I really love this house."

"Enough for us to buy it?"

He nodded. "I love it, but only if you love it, too."

"I think it's perfect."

"Okay, then I guess we're buying a house together?"

I nodded. "We'll have to do it together in order to afford it. You sure you're okay with that?"

He cupped my cheeks and said, "You know I'm in this for the long haul. You're my forever, James. I love you and I want to be with you. I would love to buy a house with you."

I grabbed his wrists and closed my eyes. "As long as you're sure."

He gently kissed my lips. "Babe, I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

I opened my eyes and looked into those sincere green ones with a smile. "Let's do this, then. We need to figure out all the financing and everything, which is probably going to be a pain, but I want to do this with you."

The smile that broke out on his face was huge and adorable. "I'm so excited! We're buying a house!" He squealed.

His excitement was contagious, because a huge smile broke out on my face as well. "We're buying a house!"

* * *

I couldn't believe that James and I were closing on our house this week. It was so surreal and so fucking amazing. James was such a sweet and caring man, and I was overjoyed that he finally seemed to accept that I was going to be there for him.

I knew that his vulnerability and insecurities hadn't completely faded away, but I also knew that he was more willing to accept my reassurances when those insecurities popped up.

I was sitting at the front dest at work, waiting for the clock to tick to seven so I could head home. Or more accurately, to James' apartment since we hadn't moved into our house yet. But I was ready to be done with work today and so ready to be home, to be with James. I needed some James time more than I needed dinner… and that was saying something since I was starving.

When the front door opened, I looked up and sucked in a deep breath at the person standing in the doorway. "Ethan?"

"Hey, Kendall."

I felt my eyes fill with tears as I ran around the counter and pulled my little brother into a hug. He hugged me back, and it took me a few minutes to convince myself that I was really awake and this wasn't just some dream that would break my heart when I woke up.

"Are you really here?" I whispered, trying but failing at keeping the tears at bay.

"Yeah, I'm here, big brother."

A little sob broke out of me at that. He called me his brother. I squeezed him tighter.

He felt skinny. I leaned back and put him at arm's length to look at him for a moment, then couldn't help but pull him back in for another hug, even though he really needed a shower. He looked way too thin and pale and it seemed like he hadn't been taking care of himself or eating right, if at all. He looked rough as shit, but I'd never been so happy to see the little brat. We hugged for a long time because I was afraid he'd disappear again if I let him go.

When we finally pulled back, Ethan said, "I'm so sorry, Kendall. I… I didn't mean any of that shit I said that day. I'm so sorry."

I pushed his shoulder and wiped my cheeks. "I'm sorry too." I took a few calming breaths before asking, "Where have you been?"

"I went back to New York for a few months, but I kind of hated it. And I… I was afraid to come back after the way I treated you. I didn't think you'd ever want to see me again."

"You're my brother. Of course I want to see you, even when you act like a little jerk."

He half-smiled at me. "I got all of your messages."

I took a deep breath. "Good."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are." I said before grabbing his arm and pulling him over to the seats in the lounge and we both sat down. "How are you doing?" What I really wanted to know was whether or not he was working and if he had a place to live.

He nodded and looked away from me, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'm… I'm not great."

I bit the inside of my cheek, not really sure what to say to that. He never liked to admit when he needed help, so even saying that much was a big step. I didn't want to mess this up because I wanted to be able to help him. I hesitantly put my hand on his back. "I'm here if you need help with anything, ER."

"I, um… I saw a therapist while I was in New York."

My jaw dropped at the admission, and I found myself at a loss for words.

"I know." He said, letting out a light chuckle at my expression. "Trust me, it wasn't easy. You know how much I hate asking for help. And I ended up using pretty much all the money I had left for it, but...it was necessary."

I nodded my head at that, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he had actually seen a therapist…

"I know that I have issues with anger and I…" He trailed off, shaking his head before continuing. "I still held onto a little hope that you didn't completely hate me. And I just...I couldn't keep going with the smallest things setting me off. I didn't want to end up hurting anyone. I didn't want to hurt _you_ anymore."

He looked like he was holding back tears, which made me feel better, because I was fighting them back as well. I pulled him into another hug, smiling a little when he immediately returned the embrace.

"I...I don't even know what to say."

"I know. It's...a lot. You don't have to say anything." He said in response as we broke the hug.

"I do, though. I'm _so_ damn proud of you, ER."

"Thanks." He said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. We sat in silence for a while, neither of us really knowing what to say until Ethan suddenly spoke again. "Did you mean it? That I could stay with you again? I know you said it on a bunch of messages, but… did you mean it?"

"Of course I did. You're always welcome to stay with me." I said, rubbing his back. "But just so you know, you'll be staying with me, James, and Shane."

"Huh?"

"James and I bought a house together. Or I guess we're technically buying it this week, since we haven't closed on it yet."

His eyebrows shot into his hairline. "You and James bought a house? Together? You guys are a thing now?"

"Yeah, we are." I smiled. "But we already planned on setting up a room for you, in case you came back."

"Are you…" He trailed off and took a deep breath. "Are you serious? James and Shane will be okay with this?"

"It was James' idea."

Ethan looked at me with a shocked expression before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I guess that explains all the messages from him."

My brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"James has been leaving me messages, too. And he...he sent a private investigator to find me. That guy convinced me to come back."

My eyes got teary again. "Are you serious?"

Ethan nodded.

I swallowed thickly and pulled out my phone to call James. He answered on the third ring and I immediately asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't I tell you what?" He asked, not even a little thrown off by my rude greeting.

"Why didn't you tell me that you hired a private investigator to find my brother?"

I heard him sigh and i could picture him rubbing a hand over his face. "I didn't want to get your hopes up or for you to tell me not to look for him."

"James…"

"I know. I'm sorry." He said softly. "I should've told you."

"Yeah, you should have. You're not supposed to keep secrets from me. We're a team, Cupcake."

"I know. I was going to tell you after the guy talked to Ethan. He's actually supposed to call me today, I think. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. I promise I won't keep anymore secrets."

I easily believed him, and honestly, he didn't do it maliciously or anything. And how could I be mad at him when he was helping not only me, but my brother as well? "Okay, I believe you."

He blew out a breath, then said, "Thank you. Did the investigator contact you or something? Did you hear anything about Ethan?"

I looked over at my brother and gave him a little smile, then said into the phone, "Ethan's here."

"There was a short pause before he said, "He's home? Is he with you right now?"

"Yes, he came to the studio. He… needs a place to stay."

"Good, maybe we can keep an eye on him that way. Did you tell him we have a room for him once we're in the house?" God, I hadn't thought I could love him anymore than I already did, but damn if that statement didn't make my heart grow. He hadn't even hesitated to ask to bring my brother to fucking _live_ with us. He was such a good guy.

"Yeah, I told him."

"Good. Can I talk to him for a minute?"

"Uh… I guess." I pulled the phone away and looked at Ethan. "He wants to talk to you."

Ethan sighed but took the phone and held it to his ear. "Hey." There was a long pause before Ethan said, "Yeah, I know." Then another pause. "I swear I won't." Another pause. "Yeah, okay. I'll see you soon." Ethan handed the phone back to me.

"Did you tell him not to call me names again?" I smirked, knowing how pissed James had been at my brother after our fight.

"Yep." He said with no shame. "And I promised him that I'd kick his ass if he hurt you like that again." James sounded so serious that it took my breath away. The amount of emotion in his voice, the lengths I could tell he'd go to for me, it was amazing.

"I love you."

His voice softened. "I love you too."

"I'll bring the hammock over for ER to sleep on until we can move into the house."

"Okay. I'll text Shane and ask him to start moving some of the furniture out of the way."

"Are you gonna be okay with the house being so messy?"

"Maybe. It's already a disaster because of the boxes, anyway."

I snorted at that. "All of the boxes are neatly stacked in the corner of the dining room and out of he way. That's hardly a disaster."

"Well, I guess when you compare it to your bedroom, it's nowhere near as disastrous, but compared to my normal living conditions, it's horrid."

"You're so dramatic." I laughed.

"If you say so."

"My bedroom is not a disaster."

"It's always a disaster."

"You're an asshole, you know that?"

"Uh-huh."

I sighed. "I'm gonna drive you crazy, you know. What are you going to do when I leave clothes on the floor of our bedroom?"

He groaned. "Probably burn them."

I laughed. "Such an asshole. If you burn my clothes, there'll be hell to pay."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't scare me."

"You're going to be sleeping in the same bed as me. Are you sure about that statement?"

After a pause, he said, "Okay, _maybe_ you scare me a _little_ bit."

"That's much better."

He finally laughed. "You're such a dork. I'll see you after work."

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too, Jalapeno."

I hung up the phone and looked at Ethan, who was smiling at me. "What?"

"You're happy."

I sighed. "I really am."

Ethan gently knocked my knee. "It looks good on you."

"Thanks, ER."

"So, what was that about a hammock?"

I chuckled. "Oh, that's what you'll be sleeping on until we move into the house. We're supposed to settle in two days, so we'll be moving our things in over the weekend."

"Okay… but you seriously have a hammock for the living room?"

"Yep. I'd let you sleep in my bed, but we already broke it apart and everything. My apartment is nothing but boxes and storage right now. I've been sleeping at James' place."

He nodded. "Okay. I can help with whatever you guys want." He ran a hand through his hair. "And Ken? If you know of any job openings, let me know."

I smiled at that and smacked his shoulder. "I think I can get you a job at the coffee shop. They're always hiring."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." I smiled.

* * *

"This is the last box." Kendall said as he plopped a huge box on top of the others in our new living room. "Can we order that pizza now?"

I laughed at that. "I already ordered."

"This is why I love you. You keep me well fed."

I chuckled and pulled him in for a small kiss. "You ready to start unpacking all this stuff?"

"Ugh. No, not really. How do we have so much crap?"

"There's four of us moving in here."

"True." He looked around the living room at all the boxes. "Are you sure everything made it to the right room?"

"I think so. I know everything in here says living room, dining room, or kitchen on it. I haven't looked at the bedrooms yet."

He looked around again. "Where'd everyone go?"

"Logan and Carlos are putting together the furniture in Ethan's room, Dak said he and Jett were going to work on the bookshelves in our office, and Shane and Ethan went in the basement to work on Shane's furniture. Everyone else had to leave." I shrugged.

He nodded before asking, "Where did you put Monster?"

"He's in the carrier in the kitchen. I didn't know where to put him, but that seemed to be out of the way since we told everyone to put the kitchen boxes in the living room so we can actually open the cabinets to put everything away."

"Sounds good." I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him, burying my nose in his hair. "We own a house."

"We do." I could hear the smile in his voice as he hugged my waist.

I kissed the side of his head and held him against me for a few minutes. "Let's get the shelves up in here, then put the dining table and all that back together."

"Okay." He kissed my chest through my shirt, then pecked my lips. "Let's get this stuff done. Can we do the TV stand first so we can watch a movie or something alter? I know I'm going to be sore as hell by tonight."

"Yeah, that's fine." I walked over to the TV stand and started looking at all the pieces. I glanced longingly at the couch I'd already put back together-we'd taken the cushions off for the truck ride over-I seriously wanted a break. I couldn't wait for the pizza to get here.

While I was hooking up the TV, I smiled to myself when I looked out into our back yard and saw Shane walk outside to set up Kendall's hammock for us. And I smiled again when I noticed Kendall looking at it through the back door.

My boyfriend gave Shane a huge hug when he came in, and I overheard the two of them planning an outdoor barbecue already. I was beyond happy that they got along so well and seemed to really care about each other.

We spent the rest of the say eating pizza with our friends and putting everything together. It was such a long day. A long but good day.

XxX

After everyone had left, and it was just Kendall and me left in our half-unpacked living room, cuddled on the couch, I decided that I couldn't possibly be happier than I was in that moment.

I nuzzled into the side of Kendall's neck-over the top of Monster, since the cat basically lived on Kendall's lap-and he giggled since I was tickling him with my stubble. He pushed me off his neck, then kissed me with amusement dancing in his eyes.

"You're stuck with me now." He said while nudging me.

"Good. You're the only one I want to be stuck with." I kissed his cheek and pulled him closer to me on the couch.

"You told me before not to turn into one of those sappy romantics, but I think you're the one having that problem lately."

I snorted. "Whatever." I kissed his temple and he leaned against my side, bringing his legs up and resting his knees against my thigh. Monster managed to stay on his lap somehow, crazy cat. I have him a scratch. "You think it'll look okay in here?"

"I think it's going to be perfect." He yawned, which made me yawn. "Holy crap, I'm so worn out."

"Me too."

"Everything hurts."

"Are you trying to get me to rub your feet?"

He laughed. "No." He snuggled in closer. "I just don't want you to move ever again, which means that you have to stay right here since you make the perfect pillow."

I kissed his hair. "Want to go to bed?"

"Nah, I want to just chill out for a while first. Is that okay?"

"Yep."

A little while later, he said, "You're my home, James. I've never really had one before, but you're it. Not this place or anywhere else, just you. You're all I need."

My heart swelled and it took me a few seconds to say something around the lump in my throat. "Right back at ya, Jalapeno."

He turned his head just enough to kiss me slowly before we made our way upstairs and decided to christen our new bedroom.

* * *

 **Done! So there you have it! Kames are officially living together and Ethan is back!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter, as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **Unfortunately, the next chapter (which is the epilogue) will be the final one. :( That will more than likely be up tomorrow, so there's not too long of a wait for that.**

 **Until then!**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hello everyone! We've made it to the final chapter!**

 **Before we get to the last chapter, I would like to thank everyone that read this story! I would also like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11, Side1ways, Guest, RainbowDiamonds, and XxXAnimaniacxxX for sharing your thoughts throughout this story!**

 **This is a short epilogue, but I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

 _One Year Later_

"What do you want to make for dinner tonight?" Kendall asked as we headed for the produce aisle in the grocery store.

"You do realize I already have a list, right?" I asked, waving said list in the air in front of his face.

He scowled at me. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what do you want to make _tonight_? Remember that our boys are eating with us since it's family dinner tonight."

Kendall had taken calling Shane and Ethan 'our boys.' They hated when he said it since it made them seem like little kids, which they practically were considering we'd had to yell at them for rough housing in the living room on more than one occasion.

Much to my own amusement, the saying had caught on so now even I was calling them our boys. We made sure we had a family dinner at least once a week, usually more, with all four of us. Having the four of us in one house was trying at times, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

It took a little while, but Shane and Ethan had finally found some common ground and were now close. Sure, they got on each other's nerves constantly, as brothers do, but they looked out for one another.

Once we had moved into our new house a year ago, I had made it a point to hang out with Ethan while Kendall hung out with Shane. I had wanted to get to know Ethan better, especially since he was going to be living with us.

The four of us-plus our two cats, because yes, my boyfriend convinced me to get a kitten a few months ago-had formed our own little dysfunctional family, and Kendall and I both loved it.

"They'll eat anything I make them. Let's do a stir fry." I knew that was one of Kendall's favorite meals, so I figured it'd make him happy.

He smiled at me. "Yeah, okay, stir fry it is. Peppers?"

"Obviously."

He stuck his tongue out at me and pushed the cart over to the peppers. He picked up two and held them out to me as he said, "Here, you test them. I know how you like to fondle your peppers."

I laughed, though I had no idea why it still surprised me when he said shit like that. He did it all the time, which would've been embarrassing if it wasn't so funny, and he was so adorable when he did it. "I don't like to fondle peppers."

"Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that. I've seen the way you handle them." I chuckled and he smirked. "Do you want me to grab some onions while you do whatever it is you do to peppers? I can give you some privacy."

I snorted and grabbed his hand. "No, we can go over there in a second." I said as I pulled him closer to me. "What kind of sauce do you want to make?" While he mulled that over, I cleared my throat, then accidentally blurted, "I'm taking you to Bear River Lodge next weekend."

He turned sharply to me and blinked a few times. "What?"

"You know the ski resort, Bear River Lodge? I'm taking you there next weekend. I called Dak and made sure you could take off work, but I know you've always wanted to go skiing but have never been. I figured it might be nice to get away from our brothers for the weekend, and it'll give you a chance to try something new and...yeah. So you want to go, right?"

"Oh my god! Yes!" He screamed, making _every-fucking-one_ in the whole dame store look at us. He threw his arms around my neck and jumped up and down for a few seconds before pulling back. "I can't believe you did that!"

I shrugged and grinned. "I probably should've learned my lesson about telling you stuff in public by now, huh?"

He laughed and smacked my shoulder. "I wasn't _that_ bad."

"The entire store turned to make sure I wasn't ax murdering you."

"I could take you."

I pushed his shoulder, laughing. "Whatever. You're so small that you make a tiny target, so you could probably dodge and get away easily."

He glared at me, then pushed my shoulder again before taking the cart around to the next aisle. When I caught up to him, he glanced over at me for a split second before chucking a grape at me.

"Very mature." I said, though I couldn't contain my smile anytime I was around him.

"You're the one that usually throws grapes, not me."

"Why would you follow my example?" I reached over and grabbed the bag of grapes from his hand as he threw another one at my chest. "We are so going to get kicked out of this place one day."

"Probably. I'm actually surprised we're not already on their Fugitive Grocery Shoppers list. We're lucky we're even allowed in here."

"True." I took out a grape and threw it at him.

He burst out laughing and muttered something that sounded like "Another point, James."

"Did you seriously just give me a point? Are you still doing that ridiculous point system of yours?"

He grinned. "Not really. It just comes out sometimes. Don't worry though, the skiing trip gave you mega-bonus points, so you're still totally winning."

I leaned in a kissed his lips-just a small peck-not caring that we were in the middle of a grocery store. "I already won, Jalapeno." I squeezed his hand to emphasize that I meant I won because I had him.

He smiled. "You seriously have _all_ the fucking points, Cupcake. Every. Last. One. You sappy, adorable man."

I wrinkled my nose at him. "Adorable?"

"Yep. Not gonna deny the sap?"

I rolled my eyes, but smiled and muttered, "Ridiculous."

He grinned at me, then pushed the cart down the next aisle. "You coming?"

I smiled at him and followed behind. I'd seriously follow him wherever he went. And somehow, I finally knew that he'd follow me, too.

"Hey, Kendall?" I called after him.

He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder at me. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

His gaze softened and he turned completely around to into my eyes as he responded, "I love you too, James. I'll never stop loving you."

I believed him. He was my forever and I was his.

* * *

 **Done! So, there you have it!**

 **I'd love to hear your thoughts on the chapter (and story in general), as well as if you happened to have a favorite part/moment!**

 **I had so much fun with this, and I want to thank you all for your support on this! I'm so sad to see this story end, because I loved Kendall and James' journey in this, but that just means that it's time for another one! ;)**

 **I don't even know what to say here, I can't technically say 'until next time' since there won't be another chapter, but I will see you all around on my other stories (hopefully)! :P**

 **-Epically Obsessed**


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